Does talking about your plans with others stifle motivation to take action?

[Vision]

I talked about some of the plans and ideas I have for my next business venture with someone. After the conversation, I immediately noticed that I lost some of my drive and motivation to actually take action on those plans. 

I'm still going to take action, but the drive/motivation is noticeably weaker. 

Now I deeply regret having that conversation where I talked about my plans and ideas. And it surfaced from them asking "Any plans for this year?". How should I respond to that question next time? 

Is there anything I can tell the person I talked to that would make it better? Like "Hey. I think I shared too much of my plans and ideas before actually taking action on them. Now I feel that my drive and motivation to actually achieve them has decreased. Next time I am going to stay quiet and not talk about anything until I am actually making results. If I am asked, I will only talk about it when I am making results." 

But I don't know if I should say that.

This opportunity is too important for me to slack on. How do I regain my drive and motivation to take massive action on my plans?

[Preety_India]

Maybe it's your own inner skepticism. Drop insecurities. 

 

[hyruga]

No. It can increase motivation.

If you never tell them, maybe right now you would have forgotten all about your goals and you are gaming heavily right now 

Edited January 24, 2022 by hyruga

[something_else]

It brings forward the dopamine rush you get from achieving your goal by giving you some of the social recognition now

Part of what appeals to you about your goals is being seen a certain way, a successful businessperson, a skilled craftsman and so on

If you tell others about your plans a lot, they start to see you as whatever you're aiming for without you having to actually achieve it and that's very appealing to your ego

What can happen is you essentially become all talk, because you can satisfy some of your desire for the goal by just telling people about it, which then leads to inaction

[vizual]

If something small like that is the deciding factor in you following through on starting a business or not, it’s highly likely you weren’t going to follow through regardless, or at least not enough to start a successful business.

If your intrinsic motivation is strong, telling someone or not telling someone about your plans it’s trivial in the bigger picture. You are either starting a business or you are not.

[Vision]

@something_else

2 hours ago, something_else said:

It brings forward the dopamine rush you get from achieving your goal by giving you some of the social recognition now

Part of what appeals to you about your goals is being seen a certain way, a successful businessperson, a skilled craftsman and so on

If you tell others about your plans a lot, they start to see you as whatever you're aiming for without you having to actually achieve it and that's very appealing to your ego

What can happen is you essentially become all talk, because you can satisfy some of your desire for the goal by just telling people about it, which then leads to inaction

This makes sense. Thank you. 

How can I reverse this? I just want to go back and wish I never told them yesterday. It was only kept in my mind and my own notes up until then. I was so driven to bring it to fruition. 

 

3 hours ago, hyruga said:

No. It can increase motivation.

If you never tell them, maybe right now you would have forgotten all about your goals and you are gaming heavily right now 

@hyruga I haven’t found this to be true in my experience.

[itachi uchiha]

motivation is not under your control. it increases and decreased according to many arbitary things like thought process etc. trying to control motivation is like trying to control the whether . forget focusing on motivation and look for other things

 

if u want to know more about it then read the chapter motivation from the book tiny habits by bj fogg

[something_else]

8 hours ago, Vision said:

This makes sense. Thank you. 

How can I reverse this? I just want to go back and wish I never told them yesterday. It was only kept in my mind and my own notes up until then. I was so driven to bring it to fruition

It's not irreversible and you'll have to tell people about your plans sometimes anyway

Just don't make a habit of 'showing them off' to other people and you'll be totally fine

[Vision]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

It's not irreversible

@something_else

How can I reverse it then?

1 hour ago, something_else said:

Just don't make a habit of 'showing them off' to other people and you'll be totally fine

Yeah I’m glad I noticed it the first time and researched it afterwards. The silver lining is that a concrete lesson was learned, do not share your ideas & plans before taking massive action on them. 

[mandyjw]

Often you get a great idea, but don't really know what the next action will be regarding it. In this case it's better to leave it alone and focus on other things until you feel the inspiration to take it further. Otherwise we introduce resistance. The idea felt great but until there's a burden on us to achieve it and make it so, maybe to show or prove it to others. It doesn't have to be like this. Often when we talk with people we sort of join them in their mindset of action and making the idea a reality so that person or other people can see/experience it/believe in it too. That makes us focus on resistance, the fact that our idea is not yet a reality. Let it gestate. Don't induce a premature birth for your dreams. 

It's not the fact that you told them but that you let their reactions and expectations introduce resistance for yourself. 

How many people would answer that question like "I have a lot of ideas I feel really good about but right now they are still gestating."? We might answer otherwise because we have a pattern we picked up from society that makes us believe we have a need to PROVE our worth. It might be that we are afraid they'll judge us in some way if we admit that we're really enjoying our manifested dreams, it hasn't become anything tangible yet. But that's your right, and that's where the satisfaction lies in everything, in the becoming of it. The tangible isn't where the satisfaction lies only, it's mostly in the entire process of it becoming. Take your dream back. The conversation reflected to you that it wasn't really fully yours to begin with. Make it your own. 

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Vision said:

How can I reverse it then?

I doubt that talking about your plans one time to some people has caused any lasting effects. If your overall desire is strong enough it won't matter and your motivation will come back

My point was more about not making a habit of talking about your plans to others frequently. You shouldn't feel bad doing it every now and then

[aklacor727]

That may have happened because of the persons reaction when you told them, even if it was a subtle through body language, their level of interest or excitement about your plan, etc. 

Studies in psychology show that if others believe you will succeed, it is more likely to happen and vice versa, because of how they subtly treat you and react to you. (self fulfilling prophecy, and because belief -- either belief about yourself or others belief about you -- impacts identity,  and identity impacts behavior and action)

That's why its important to keep away from negative people, (or even just any random person that probably wont react to your plans with genuine excitement or interest). Only share with people that you know are positive and supportive, and that tend to be authentically excited for you and the plans that you have in your life. People that believe you can and will achieve anything you set your mind to. 

[gettoefl]

how unshakable is my conviction that what i say will happen

if it's 10 tell everyone you please

if it's 9 you may be sidetracked and will not follow through

know how firm you are with your statements

and know your audience, maybe talking to the right person will help you go from 9 to 10

[Flowerfaeiry]

I’ve experienced that before. Sometimes it really is best not to say anything. Other times it can help your motivation. Feel it out. 

[Yarco]

Yes talking about your plans can ruin your motivation. There is a real brain chemistry reason why. 

If you go on social media and post about all your goals, it tricks your brain into releasing basically the same amount of dopamine or whatever as if you'd actually completed the goal. So now you have no reason to actually do it.

You can reverse the decrease in motivation you've experienced by asking the person (or anyone) to hold you accountable. They can message you and ask you to share what progress you've made so far in the past week, every week.

[Intraplanetary]

there is concept in Law of Attraction call 'tempting fate' 

Stop Tempting Fate—Keep Quiet: What most people believe is to 'tempt fate', is nothing more than an interruption of the process of conscious creation in ignorance of the time required for concentrated thought power to transmute thought energy into material energy. The only way to not tempt fate is to 'go, and tell no man'.

 

https://www.mind-your-reality.com/manifesting-your-dreams.html