Feeling That I'm Relieving My Life

[Raphael]

I'm currently noticing patterns around me that remind me of experiences that I had when I was a kid. It feels like I am reliving my life through similar situations. So far, I think that this is solvable through normal shadow work:

• Some childhood traumas have to be healed
• Some reconditioning have to be done
• Some tangible actions have to be taken in the physical world

I noticed this happening with my relationships with other guys: I often find myself being in pair with another guy that I feel is either physically stronger or more confident than me where I feel that I am more aware, more intelligent, and more able to distinguish social dynamics. It feels like living in the shadow of someone who is better than me in some way.

I sorted this out for a relationship recently but this is repeating again. Does anyone have experience with this?

Edited January 24, 2022 by Raphael

[JonasVE12]

You have a push and a pull. The underlying desire of wanting to embody what he has gets you pulled towards him because in some way, you look up to it and want to get close to it, feel it. And on the other hand, because you yourself embody feelings of shame, fear and distance to what he has, you feel less. You feel you are not worthy of what he has, but you get to experience what he experiences from a distance and that feels like `walking in his shadow`.  And that in itself brings more anger and shame. The solution is to work towards releasing your feelings and becoming powerful in feeling worthy and confident. You get there by doing the work and taking action as you suggest. 

Those feelings exist because if you put yourself out there, the world acts like a mirror for how you feel about yourself. And it will keep giving back what you put in. So if you never change, all the same stuff keeps coming back.