How come all those low consciousness people have these amazing social skills?

[YeahIam]

Also, in your experience what are the dynamics of being socially skillful?

[Windappreciator]

what low consciousness people?

[Nahm]

Because they aren’t “in their head” focusing on conceptualizations of experience, like high & low consciousness people. “Amazing social skills” is a projection based on the holding of that belief. Not being manipulative to compensate for discordant beliefs isn’t a doing (an acquired skill). Not being miserable from not holding these beliefs & employing judgment of others to sustain the belief, naturally attracts. 

You’ve allowed yourself to believe conceptualizations from people who are not experiencing what you desire to experience, but convince you they know from direct experience nonetheless. You haven’t realized they do this for self image, for how they believe they’re seen, which is the “stuck in your head”. 

[YeahIam]

3 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Because they aren’t “in their head” focusing on conceptualizations of experience, like high & low consciousness people. “Amazing social skills” is a projection based on the holding of that belief. 

Yeah but it's not like I'm constantly thinking about that.

I've been working on my social skills for quite some time so I've been feeling hurt after some social interactions and I feel like in the process I'm ruining my relationships with people.

I think I can instead set quietly and talk only when necessary and that would be comfortable but that's not what I'm aiming at.

So I wrote this post in hope of any helpful feedback and not because I'm curious about why social people are very skillful at being social

[Nahm]

@YeahIam

Yes, judgement definitely ruins relationships. How does it feel to you if I look past where you’re at in life so to speak, what your experiences have been, etc, and chalk you up as ‘low consciousness’? A bit void of understanding, empathy and compassion, isn’t it?

For you to up hold that belief, forsake all relationships. Rethink & redesign your entire life such that you can remain isolated. That way your belief is never confronted, and the underlying beliefs never have to be addressed. Find a substance and or objectify and use people to suppress the discord, and rationalize your conflicting perspectives. 

Otherwise, the defending of beliefs can be noticed by noticing conflicting statements & perspectives. These secondary beliefs (perspectives expressed) are the rationalizations and justifications of the primary belief. The fundamental belief is that you are exceptional in comparison to other people, in that something is wrong with you, or that you have a shortcoming of some sort, or that you are not good, or good enough, exactly as you are. 

As an example… 
“I wrote this post in hope of any helpful feedback and not because I'm curious about why social people are very skillful at being social”
”How come all those low consciousness people have these amazing social skills?”

And - you’ve got to say so to speak, ‘that’s alright’. That’s alright if I’ve got some beliefs and conflicting perspectives. Everyone does at some point. That’s ok if I’ve been rationalizing my beliefs and projecting. 

You are not being hurt by social interactions. You are feeling the discord of the conflicting beliefs, of your own interpretations. And that is alright. It’s innocent. 
 

 

[Preety_India]

You can become socially skillful only through low consciousness for example - gossip. 

 

[Vercingetorix]

If when you grow up you are fed with the right beliefs it's easy to adopt the right mindset for being a social rock star. and as you practice it as a child it's much faster than as an adult, you have no resistances. there is no other operation system you have to erase while building the new one 

[BlueOak]

Emotional Intelligence
Practice and natural Ability.
Good looks, exercise, health. Appearing presentable and taking care of yourself.
Reducing judgement, as has been said. If we could reduce judgement across everyone there would be a net benefit to the quality of life we all enjoyed.
Being more open to talk about anything with anyone.
Money and Opportunity to socialise.
Safety and Security to socialise comfortably.
Confidence.
Ability to Agree, give praise and console. 
Eye contact, interested body language
Having socialable friends or co-workers
Having enough things to talk about, interests, hobbies etc.
Keeping up to date with current events, enough to hold a conversation.
Being able to read expressions, moods and bodylanguage.
Being able to include others in the conversation and not talking over others.

That's a few that come to mind.

*I would sum many of these up to mean social intelligence, and the others emotional intelligence.

 

Edited January 23, 2022 by BlueOak

[Leo Gura]

Because they spend much of their lives socializing. When you are socializing you can be totally dumb and not think a single independent thought. Which is why I avoided socialization for 25 years.

[LordFall]

Levels of consciousness have 0 correlation to one's ability to socialize, they're not related concepts. You could be stage blue and have terrible social skills or be stage turquoise and have amazing charisma; it's a separate skill tree. 

 

[Lyubov]

They don't necessarily. You've made assumptions and are presuming a lot. When it comes to social skills, people act very different and it's due to a wide range of factors why they act the way they do. 

[mrPixel]

Most people only thrive in certain social environments. Fun people do well in fun social environments. Deep thinkers do well with other deep thinkers. Extroverts like larger social gatherings, introverts prefer smaller ones. I think you are underestimating your abilities because you aren't in the right environments and aren't around the right people. You need to get clear on the type of environments you like and the type of people you do well with. This whole spiritual path is not about changing, it's about getting clear on your values and accepting. Stop trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

I am an introvert and would not consider myself an exciting person. I am not boring by any means, I crack jokes and what not, but I don't do the party thing and I don't like environments where there are a lot of people. I feel like a fish out of water.

I used to try to fit in, but eventually realized it wasn't going to happen. Then I realized I prefer to hang out with smaller groups of people who enjoy deeper conversation. So, that's what I do. Problem solved.

But to answer your original question, you become more skilled socially by socializing with people you like. Find people who you like, and who appreciate you for who you are, and just hang out and talk.

Edited January 23, 2022 by mrPixel

[hyruga]

Here's what I processed through:

Some deep thinkers like to think but they have not fully processed their thoughts so they are left in thinking mode. They need to get out of their head and start doing something. Stay fun, carefree, authentic, passionate, provide value and be courageous n confident. Be non-needy.

 

Edited January 24, 2022 by hyruga

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 1/23/2022 at 1:54 PM, BlueOak said:

Good looks

Say no more.

Good looks are what get you accepted into the audition. Personality is what gets you the part. Being the friendship or relationship in this analogy. The better looking you are the easier it is to get the audition and the more opportunities you get. A below average looking person is going to have a hard time improving their social skills because no one will want to give them a chance or forgive them if they make an oopsie.

[Raze]

They are often mentally ill and can’t maintain or don’t pick up social conditioning which represses you.

[Karmadhi]

7 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Good looks are what get you accepted into the audition. Personality is what gets you the part. Being the friendship or relationship in this analogy. The better looking you are the easier it is to get the audition and the more opportunities you get. A below average looking person is going to have a hard time improving their social skills because no one will want to give them a chance or forgive them if they make an oopsie.

I do not know about girls because i am not a girl but as a guy at least this is total bullshit, regardling friendships.

As a guy looks do not matter at all regarding making friends and stuff. Maybe they matter like 10 percent max and even then it is not about how handsome your face is but more about things like frame. If you look intimidating and strong you will get more respect even if you are ugly af.

Looks as a guy definetly matter regarding attracting girls but when it comes to friends, honestly it is just an excuse people make.

I see Incels doing this a lot, is it quite sad imo.

 

[hamedsf]

just because they're lower in consciousness doesn't mean that they are dumb. they're human beings with magical brains!

also, don't always assume that you're above them in terms of consciousness. maybe you get asleep and unconscious in life as much as them.

 

[Jodistrict]

A lot of being social is about finding your tribe.  If you are with people you vibe with, you will naturally connect.  For example, I sometimes have been with a group  of foodies where they have long conversations about food and different restaurants.  They talk about all kinds of little details.  I am not a gormet, so end up saying nothing.  If you are in the wrong tribe, you will be an outcast.    

[YeahIam]

Thanks @Nahm, I really appreciate the reply 

 

On 1/23/2022 at 6:19 PM, Nahm said:

conceptualizations from people who are not experiencing what you desire to experience

Can you please clarify who are those people? the ones I described as "socially skilled"? can you please clarify that?

 

On 1/23/2022 at 7:17 PM, Nahm said:

judgement definitely ruins relationships.

But how did you assume that based on my post? this might be the problem but why would it be?

 

On 1/23/2022 at 7:17 PM, Nahm said:

For you to up hold that belief, forsake all relationships. Rethink & redesign your entire life such that you can remain isolated. That way your belief is never confronted, and the underlying beliefs never have to be addressed. Find a substance and or objectify and use people to suppress the discord, and rationalize your conflicting perspectives.

Just to make sure I understand you right, here you're describing how my mind is playing games to sustain that belief right? 

 

On 1/23/2022 at 7:17 PM, Nahm said:

Find a substance and or objectify and use people to suppress the discord,

Could you please describe this for me to understand it fully?

 

On 1/23/2022 at 7:17 PM, Nahm said:

The fundamental belief is that you are exceptional in comparison to other people, in that something is wrong with you, or that you have a shortcoming of some sort, or that you are not good, or good enough, exactly as you are. 

That's true I have shit from the past to work on. So if I resolve these things and my self-esteem, the belief will vanish? 

 

On 1/23/2022 at 7:17 PM, Nahm said:

You are feeling the discord of the conflicting beliefs,

So this is normal and in that situation when I'm "hurting" I'm actually challenging the belief?  

[Nahm]

14 minutes ago, YeahIam said:

Can you please clarify who are those people? the ones I described as "socially skilled"? can you please clarify that?

Of course. 

 

14 minutes ago, YeahIam said:

But how did you assume that based on my post? this might be the problem but why would it be?

The title. There aren’t low conscious people, there is thought attachment, belief of, and judgment. Conjecture & group think. 

16 minutes ago, YeahIam said:

Just to make sure I understand you right, here you're describing how my mind is playing games to sustain that belief right? 

More what you could do so you can keep the belief in low conscious people, and the judgement therein. If desirable of course. 

17 minutes ago, YeahIam said:

Could you please describe this for me to understand it fully?

Same thing. 

18 minutes ago, YeahIam said:

That's true I have shit from the past to work on. So if I resolve these things and my self-esteem, the belief will vanish? 

Without the belief what need is there for resolution and self esteem? 

19 minutes ago, YeahIam said:

So this is normal and in that situation when I'm "hurting" I'm actually challenging the belief?  

Just directly feeling the discord of the belief / thought.