How should one move on?

[Vivaldo]

Hey fam! Can ya all suggest some powerful strategies for moving on? 

I am not yet sure what is the right way to deal with this..... Since "it's not the goodbyes that hurt it's the flashbacks that follow."

Edited January 22, 2022 by Vivaldo

[Etherial Cat]

You move on when someone doesn't resonate with you anymore because it goes at odds with a deepest truth you've found about life and yourself .

[Vivaldo]

@Etherial Cat how have you moved on in the past? 

What techniques did you apply?

[Nahm]

What did you learn?

What is it that you now know much more so, much more specifically, what you want?

[Roy]

You move on by finding the next thing that's even better, when you're in the middle you'll only be tempted to reach back. In my experience.

[Vivaldo]

@Nahm I want things to go back to start and fix it. 

[Nahm]

@Vivaldo

Most sincerely & intimately, why do you want that? 

[Etherial Cat]

10 minutes ago, Vivaldo said:

@Etherial Cat how have you moved on in the past? 

What techniques did you apply?

In a nutshell: Self-love. 

Relationships fails when two people aren't on the same page. Usually, it happens when connection/intimacy fails intellectually or emotionally until a point where repair becomes materially impossible.

So you leak your wounds and move on. What makes you move on from a relationship is accepting that truth, and stop feeding the self-deception mechanism from your addicted ego. Because staying in that relationship means that you need to take away from yourself/gaslight yourself. If your subjective truth is compelling enough, you can't compromise on it.

What allows you to move on concretely is reconnect with yourself on a deeper level and do some serious spiritual/self-help work. You also learn more about relationships in general and their dynamic and then it usually allows you to understand what went wrong.  

[Windappreciator]

you realize that you are alright regardless or you suffer until you realise

[Vivaldo]

@Nahm because I can't move on.

[Vivaldo]

@Windappreciator it sometimes feels like fine and alright but I again start going down the memory lane...

[Vivaldo]

@Etherial Cat @Windappreciator 

33 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

In a nutshell: Self-love. 

Relationships fails when two people aren't on the same page. Usually, it happens when connection/intimacy fails intellectually or emotionally until a point where repair becomes materially impossible.

So you leak your wounds and move on. What makes you move on from a relationship is accepting that truth, and stop feeding the self-deception mechanism from your addicted ego. Because staying in that relationship means that you need to take away from yourself/gaslight yourself. If your subjective truth is compelling enough, you can't compromise on it.

What allows you to move on concretely is reconnect with yourself on a deeper level and do some serious spiritual/self-help work. You also learn more about relationships in general and their dynamic and then it usually allows you to understand what went wrong.  

I guess ?

[Lyubov]

just went through a breakup? 

very, very painful stuff. sorry. 

[Nahm]

7 minutes ago, Vivaldo said:

@Nahm because I can't move on.

I’m not asking about what you don’t want, or what you can’t do. 

46 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Vivaldo

Most sincerely & intimately, why do you want that? 

With sincerity God damn it! 

[Vivaldo]

@Lyubov stuff.... 

[Vivaldo]

@Nahm because there is a feeling of regret. 

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Vivaldo said:

@Nahm because there is a feeling of regret. 

Regret is a thinking. 
Not seriousness, sincerity!

What do you actually want?!

[Windappreciator]

@Vivaldo i am sorry bro.. it's just that way.

maybe you can find a sweet girl to help you heal

Edited January 23, 2022 by Windappreciator

[Vivaldo]

@Windappreciator ✨ I will

[flowboy]

@Vivaldo The strategies I have applied with success, is to instantly start doing all the awesome things that you've dreamed of, but either your relationship didn't allow you, or you were too comfortable to challenge yourself.

Make your life ten times more amazing than it's been in the past.

You are responsible for how much you enjoy your life, and how good you feel about what you are doing with your life.

No other specific person should have a big influence on that.

If you are experiencing regret, practice forgiveness.

Two good methods for that are

• Byron Katie's worksheet
• Leo's forgiveness exercise video

If after that you still don't feel okay, then this breakup is showing you a problem that already existed during your relationship: you are not okay on your own.

Work on being okay on your own. Not just okay, amazing!

Edited January 23, 2022 by flowboy