I do not EXIST. Does that mean everyone is allowed to make fun of me?

[TheAlchemist]

@Muhammad Jawad every human respects honesty and truth deep down. If he gets heartbroken because of your honest feelings and expression of them, it is his job to communicate that to you and then maybe you can have a much healthier relationship built on solid respect. Maybe he is being disrespectful towards you because he senses you are not being truly honest with him and how you feel about him, and that's his way of trying to trigger you to open up so a relationship built on more honesty and respect can be built.  

Another persons feelings are never your responsibility, it is their responsibility to communicate to you if they wish you would do something differently. And you do it if you really want to do that, not because you feel forced to. Otherwise we are merely slaves to our own constructions.

Edited January 21, 2022 by TheAlchemist

[Muhammad Jawad]

4 minutes ago, TheAlchemist said:

@Muhammad Jawad every human respects honesty and truth deep down. If he gets heartbroken because of your honest feelings and expression of them, it is his job to communicate that to you and then maybe you can have a much healthier relationship built on solid respect. Maybe he is being disrespectful towards you because he senses you are not being honest with him, and that's his way of trying to trigger you to open up so a relationship built on more honesty and respect can be built. 

Another persons feelings are never your responsibility, it is their responsibility to communicate to you if they wish you would do something differently. And you do it if you really want to do that, not because you feel forced to. Otherwise we are merely slaves to our own constructions.

Right. Thanks a lot for this great perspective :-)

[Federico del pueblo]

6 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Should I allow my family & friends to make fun of me in front of all kinds of people in any kind of situation because, in reality, I do not exist?

How does a spiritually enlightened person deal with situations like people in his family & friends make fun of him, in front of everyone brutally & torture him emotionally & psychologically? Will he focus on: "I do not exist". Or something else?

Well, your experience does exist right? You know that you have an experience of consciousness or don't you?

It doesn't matter if you and your family and others are just dream characters or "real", because for you the experience is real this way or another.

I don't know about the enlightenment people question, probably several answers could be true. Maybe they would just love them in return, maybe they would speak up in a calm way, maybe they would abandon them.

You should do whatever is possible to change the situation and if nothing helps then leave.

Edited January 21, 2022 by Federico del pueblo

[Muhammad Jawad]

22 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Well, your experience does exist right? You know that you have an experience of consciousness or don't you?

It doesn't matter if you and your family and others are just dream characters or "real", because for you the experience is real this way or another.

I don't know about the enlightenment people question, probably several answers could be true. Maybe they would just love them in return, maybe they would speak up in a calm way, maybe they would abandon them.

You should do whatever is possible to change the situation and if nothing helps then leave.

Right. Thanks :-)

[WelcometoReality]

1 hour ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

I know it's just a belief and not actually true. But morally we should be with our parents and should never leave them just because they couldn't grow themselves enough their maturity. They are the conclusive product of this world. We should understand them deeply. So instead of leaving them, we should work on ourselves in a way that their verbal actions can not harm us.

If that's what you believe then yeah you should stay. Is there also a belief that they shouldn't make fun of you and if so is it true?

[Muhammad Jawad]

3 minutes ago, WelcometoReality said:

If that's what you believe then yeah you should stay. Is there also a belief that they shouldn't make fun of you and if so is it true?

Morally that belief is true but ultimately that's all egoic belief which is not true. 

[WelcometoReality]

16 minutes ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Morally that belief is true but ultimately that's all egoic belief which is not true. 

Here's a worksheet to deal with these types of situations.

https://thework.com/resources/

Download and write down your answers. It's for the part in you that feels hurt, angry and saddened by your fathers behaviour. Once it has been allowed to come up and felt it will be easier to release it. Hope it helps. ?

[The0Self]

3 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Yes, I understand these things but when negative situations emerge then my ego gets a strong start to react, and my color starts to change, my expressions start to change, a lot of negative feelings start to emerge. And I can not help myself to remain No-Self and become frustrated and sad and I become really miserable. 

If there were no self left there might not even be a holding back of these feelings and even their expression. You're afraid of what it would mean for you to act out in these ways emotionally, creating a non-flow-state -- coming from a perspective wherein some things are better than other things, which is the character suit and it's natural in that even it isn't a real problem. This isn't prescriptive just descriptive.

[tlowedajuicemayne]

until you have direct experience of 'not existing', discard your thoughts and opinions about it and handle the things in life that you need to handle dude. If something needs to be fixed, fix it.

[vladorion]

3 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Personal "I" is just a thought. It's not an actual identity. There is only one awareness and everything is arising and passing in it.

 

I tried to set boundaries many times but I am not able to set boundaries against my own father.

Seems like you just accepted this as a belief which you're using to avoid dealing with the situation.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Muhammad Jawad In many cases people respect their parents too much and they should but in this case,when father disrespects you dont respect him back you are too meek in your delivery and still trying to be on good terms even tho someone is disrespecting you...show him his teeth as saying goes, get in a conflict with him that he sees that you truly mean it shake him up show him you mean business even tho if he would shout back or whatever he will secretly earn respect for you...

Or just plain avoid him...probably not what people wanna hear from a mod but im real here...

Stop being an nice guy and people pleasure or not having danger side of yourself easier said than done...

[Breakingthewall]

@Muhammad Jawad spirituality should not be used as an excuse not to face the challenges that arise. It is one thing to know that only reality exists, that you are an illusion as an individual, and another to let your children starve, for example. if they are illusions right? . If you feel that a situation is unfair, stand up, fix it. if not that situation will return and return. this is life. Soon we will dissolve, but in the meantime, giving everything is better than being passive. we are human, it is what it is 

If your father does not respect you, he is mistreating you. is behaving aggressively, narcissistically, with you. you now see it as something silly, poor man, he is older. watch out! maybe one day you will open your eyes to the dynamics that is happening and you will see it very differently. do not tolerate being used as a bitch to raise their sick ego, or maybe one day hatred will flood you. do not underestimate the aggressiveness and evil of those small gestures

Edited January 21, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[Muhammad Jawad]

8 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

Here's a worksheet to deal with these types of situations.

https://thework.com/resources/

Download and write down your answers. It's for the part in you that feels hurt, angry and saddened by your fathers behaviour. Once it has been allowed to come up and felt it will be easier to release it. Hope it helps. ?

Ok, Thanks a lot. :-)

[Muhammad Jawad]

8 hours ago, tlowedajuicemayne said:

until you have direct experience of 'not existing', discard your thoughts and opinions about it and handle the things in life that you need to handle dude. If something needs to be fixed, fix it.

Sure. Thanks 

[Muhammad Jawad]

8 hours ago, vladorion said:

Seems like you just accepted this as a belief which you're using to avoid dealing with the situation.

I have not just read & accepted it. I am doing spiritual practices for many years and can clearly see the absence of an experiencer or subject. 

[Muhammad Jawad]

8 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Muhammad Jawad In many cases people respect their parents too much and they should but in this case,when father disrespects you dont respect him back you are too meek in your delivery and still trying to be on good terms even tho someone is disrespecting you...show him his teeth as saying goes, get in a conflict with him that he sees that you truly mean it shake him up show him you mean business even tho if he would shout back or whatever he will secretly earn respect for you...

Or just plain avoid him...probably not what people wanna hear from a mod but im real here...

Stop being an nice guy and people pleasure or not having danger side of yourself easier said than done...

hmmm. Right. Maybe my illusory ego is still too strong and attached to its self-image and afraid of losing its self-image.

[Muhammad Jawad]

6 hours ago, blankisomeone said:

@Muhammad Jawad Dude study the book I recommended. It will show you how to be assertive without breaking his heart!

Yes, I have already got that book & I will surely read it :-)

[Muhammad Jawad]

2 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Muhammad Jawad spirituality should not be used as an excuse not to face the challenges that arise. It is one thing to know that only reality exists, that you are an illusion as an individual, and another to let your children starve, for example. if they are illusions right? . If you feel that a situation is unfair, stand up, fix it. if not that situation will return and return. this is life. Soon we will dissolve, but in the meantime, giving everything is better than being passive. we are human, it is what it is 

If your father does not respect you, he is mistreating you. is behaving aggressively, narcissistically, with you. you now see it as something silly, poor man, he is older. watch out! maybe one day you will open your eyes to the dynamics that is happening and you will see it very differently. do not tolerate being used as a bitch to raise their sick ego, or maybe one day hatred will flood you. do not underestimate the aggressiveness and evil of those small gestures

I think you are right. I will have to make a balance between spiritual reality & the illusory world and act accordingly. 

[Mosess]

 

16 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Should I allow my family & friends to make fun of me in front of all kinds of people in any kind of situation because, in reality, I do not exist?

How does a spiritually enlightened person deal with situations like people in his family & friends make fun of him, in front of everyone brutally & torture him emotionally & psychologically? Will he focus on: "I do not exist". Or something else?

 

Someone who is completely dead inside does not act a certain way, rather the actions automatically take place without any effort from him, because he is not there. Only actions exist without a co ordinator. GOD is in control of that individual, or vessel. 

You are looking for an idol to copy. A person to look up too. There isn't anything wrong with doing that as long as you know that that is what you are doing. But i am telling you, "an enlightened being" could act in a way that would produce an outcome that if you tried to imitate, would produce an entirely different outcome, maybe even one that would negatively impact your life.

Do inner work, more and more, until you purify your self so much that the people that you call "your friends and family" can no longer resonate with the way you act, unless they also do some inner work themselves.

Edited January 22, 2022 by Mosess

[Ulax]

@Muhammad Jawad Honestly dude it doesn't sound like you should be focusing on enlightenment right now. I don't think you're in the correct environment.

These people sound like people you should get away from asap, and that you lack boundaries.

If i were to guess, your pursuit of enlightenment right now is probably a flight trauma response to a traumatic situation (abusive people you're living with) that you feel powerless towards.