I do not EXIST. Does that mean everyone is allowed to make fun of me?

[Nahm]

34 minutes ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

But I want to solve this situation spiritually by dissolving the illusory self-ego and remaining un-touched.

It’s words someone is saying. Notice, you are already remaining untouched. Most significantly, notice, you believe that isn’t true (presently). 

That there is a problem to solve is conceptual, your belief. If he made jokes about you being a refrigerator, you’d not be triggered, you’d think it was ridiculous and made no sense, but you wouldn’t be bothered at all by it. If the fridge humor had some wit to it, you might even laugh. Some jokes bother you, because they trigger your beliefs about yourself. 

To dissolve, do nothing. Feel the reaction / triggering, and relax and let it go. You’ll see that you’ll feel just fine, and didn’t need anyone to be different, but only thought that you did. Don’t defend, and don’t expect anyone to change, as that keeps the reactions going. People stop making fun of you when you no longer offer the vibration of insecurity & powerlessness. When you don’t do anything, which is to say basically just relax and sit there and wait and don’t give any response at all… a shift occurs, in which he has now the space to feel the discord of his own remarks. What he says is not indicative of you, only of him. When you react, you join in the discord of his thinking. But you never have to. Allow him to make such remarks, from his place of insecurity & powerlessness. Understand, and don’t stoop. 

There’s no separate self to defend. 

But thinking (and continuing to be reactive) makes it seem so. 

‘Be the change you wish to see’. MG   (Vs expecting or trying to get other people to change, so you can feel better)

Control is realized by letting it go. 

Believing you don’t exist, while you are existence?  Spiritual bypassing doesn’t pan out. If dad gets the cosmic joke, I can see where you could be laughing a lot more, with “him”, vs, well, you sure seem to believe he (and “everyone”) exists. But I digress, as the spidey senses say Nahm has been in the ‘dad category’ for a good while now. 

[Muhammad Jawad]

30 minutes ago, Khan 0 said:

This is the ego too. Balance, nice talking, loving is the key. If the other person doesn’t understand you, just say i am sorry but i can not talk to you in this way. But be nice and gentle. Dont scream, yell etc. your mom , dad, wife whoever does that it dont matter. Thats what i do for myself.

Right. Thanks. :-)

[Muhammad Jawad]

24 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

Kill him.

Hahaha. My Father is not that bad. :-)

[Khan 0]

3 minutes ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Right. Thanks. :-)

Anytime.

[Salvijus]

Grow in conciousness a little bit. It would solve the situation by itself without your concious control even imo.

Edited January 21, 2022 by Salvijus

[Muhammad Jawad]

17 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

This won't solve your problem. 

Through my self-inquiry & meditations, I have already seen that I do not exist. Then why does my illusory ego emerge in these kinds of situatiions? and then I suffer a lot? 

[Gregory1]

8 minutes ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Hahaha. My Father is not that bad. :-)

Well if this is the case, I got a milder solution:

Just *accidently* spill your coke all over his body on the next social event both of you are taking part at:)

[WelcometoReality]

1 hour ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

I told them many times, but they don't care and kept doing it. What is the solution in that case?

I don't know. I'd be honest about my feelings and if they wouldn't care I'd seriously consider if I want them in my life or not.

1 hour ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

I do not want to leave my father because now I am young & successful because of him and he is old now. But he makes fun of me all the time in front of others which makes me a lot sad and miserable.

So you believe you're in debt to him because of it. Is that actually true?

1 hour ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Will that help me to remain equanimous in future situations?

Yes it will.

[Gregory1]

9 minutes ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

Through my self-inquiry & meditations, I have already seen that I do not exist. Then why does my illusory ego emerge in these kinds of situatiions? and then I suffer a lot? 

Well if you truly were in a state of no self all the time you would have no problem to go straight to your father and tell him to shut the fuck up. And yes, you would do that. Enlightened people are not dead potatoe-sacks. Quite the opposite of that - they are alife!

[Muhammad Jawad]

19 minutes ago, Nahm said:

It’s words someone is saying. Notice, you are already remaining untouched.

Right

19 minutes ago, Nahm said:

That there is a problem to solve is conceptual, your belief.

Ok

19 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Some jokes bother you, because they trigger your beliefs about yourself.

True

20 minutes ago, Nahm said:

To dissolve, do nothing. Feel the reaction / triggering, and relax and let it go. Don’t defend, as that keeps the reactions going. People stop making fun of you when you no longer offer the vibration of insecurity & powerlessness.

Very True.

21 minutes ago, Nahm said:

When you don’t do anything, which is to say basically just relax and sit there and wait and don’t give any response at all… a shift occurs, in which he has now the space to feel the discord of his own remarks.

hmmm. You are right. 

 

22 minutes ago, Nahm said:

What he says is not indicative of you, only of him.

Right

23 minutes ago, Nahm said:

When you react, you join in the discord of his thinking. But you never have to.

I do not react in front of him, but later I suffer for many hours or days internally psychologically.

25 minutes ago, Nahm said:

There’s no separate self to defend. 

But thinking (and continuing to be reactive) makes it seem so. 

‘Be the change you wish to see’. MG   (Vs expecting or trying to get other people to change, so you can feel better)

True.

 

Thanks a lot

It was really a great help :-) 

I will do nothing instead of doing my best.

Seems like that's the answer I was looking for.

 

[Muhammad Jawad]

18 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Grow in conciousness a little bit. It would solve the situation by itself without your concious control even imo.

Right. That's means I need to have a bit more patience and keep working on growing my consciousness.  

[Muhammad Jawad]

11 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

Well if this is the case, I got a milder solution:

Just *accidently* spill your coke all over his body on the next social event both of you are taking part at:)

Hahahaha. Ok. Thanks for the suggestion :-)

[Nahm]

7 minutes ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

I do not react in front of him, but later I suffer for many hours or days internally psychologically.

(Just to be communicatively clear)….it’s not about in front of him or not, it’s about feeling the reactions and not reacting. It’s literally not about him at all.  The reactions just naturally dissolve / are seen through. To bring clarity and an end to the hours or days, and even minutes or second of suffering, understand the emotions you are experiencing by willfully expressing them. Again, I do not mean ‘to him’. Just for you to understand and unfetter. 

And of course, daily Meditation. Conceptualizations, the activity of thought that there is a you and a him, will fissile out, and an ineffable & easy to appreciate miracle is instead experienced. 

 

[Muhammad Jawad]

10 minutes ago, WelcometoReality said:

I don't know. I'd be honest about my feelings and if they wouldn't care I'd seriously consider if I want them in my life or not.

1 hour ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

hmmm. Right

11 minutes ago, WelcometoReality said:

So you believe you're in debt to him because of it. Is that actually true?

I know it's just a belief and not actually true. But morally we should be with our parents and should never leave them just because they couldn't grow themselves enough their maturity. They are the conclusive product of this world. We should understand them deeply. So instead of leaving them, we should work on ourselves in a way that their verbal actions can not harm us.

[Muhammad Jawad]

16 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

Well if you truly were in a state of no self all the time you would have no problem to go straight to your father and tell him to shut the fuck up. And yes, you would do that. Enlightened people are not dead potatoe-sacks. Quite the opposite of that - they are alife!

In Fact, I do not want to solve this issue by breaking his heart. 

[Khan 0]

1 minute ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

In Fact, I do not want to solve this issue by breaking his heart. 

Be witness of your emotions when you realize why does it come and where does it come, than slowly react. Don’t forget your dad is you, behave how to behave for yourself. 

[Muhammad Jawad]

10 minutes ago, Nahm said:

(Just to be communicatively clear)….it’s not about in front of him or not, it’s about feeling the reactions and not reacting. It’s literally not about him at all.  The reactions just naturally dissolve / are seen through. To bring clarity and an end to the hours or days, and even minutes or second of suffering, understand the emotions you are experiencing by willfully expressing them. Again, I do not mean ‘to him’. Just for you to understand and unfetter. 

And of course, daily Meditation. Conceptualizations, the activity of thought that there is a you and a him, will fissile out, and an ineffable & easy to appreciate miracle is instead experienced. 

 

Right. I will surely try out this emotional scale you just shared. Thanks a lot for the help :-)

[Gregory1]

5 minutes ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

In Fact, I do not want to solve this issue by breaking his heart. 

Are you breaking your dogs heart if you tell him to stop barking at the neighbour?

[Muhammad Jawad]

10 minutes ago, Khan 0 said:

Be witness of your emotions when you realize why does it come and where does it come, than slowly react. Don’t forget your dad is you, behave how to behave for yourself. 

Ok. Right. Thanks

[Muhammad Jawad]

9 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

Are you breaking your dogs heart if you tell him to stop barking at the neighbour?

My Dog will not understand what I am saying to him. But If I will misbehave with my dad, and rudely ask him to stop doing that will hurt him.