The importance of cultivating stage Red qualities, and the 'how to'.

[Nightwise]

Spiral Dynamics stage Red is probably the stage which people on this forum condemn the most and value the least, or at least fail to understand its significance. This has a lot to do with the fact that people who visit this forum generally speaking have a lot of stage Green values and conditioning within them, and the values of stage Red go directly against what stage Green values.

I myself live in the Netherlands, and the Netherlands is a fairly (stage) Green country. Much of the big media items here —even on the big mainstream news channels— is often about how there has been some villain or perpetrator who has committed some crime or how some social injustice has taken place, and that now social justice must be served and the news item often becomes almost like a national uproar for days or even weeks which in my opinion often goes way overboard. Just some days ago all broadcasts of "the Voice of Holland" have been cancelled because some allegations have been made of sexual intimidation or misconduct against certain staff members of the show, and now even before anything has been proven at all, they decided it is best to get all of the future episodes off the air... If you have even a bit of stage Yellow qualities you can see that this might be a bit of an overreaction... Don't tempt me to explain why.

Anyway, got on a slight tangent there. The point is: The Netherlands is a very stage Green country. It also has many of the typical stage green shadows and unhealthy manifestations that often come along with it. One of them would be the condemnation of stage Red. Because Red is very much condemned here, naturally we don't see a lot of it. The same is also the case to a somewhat lesser degree for stage Blue. Stage Red and Blue are generally stages which are a bit harder and respectively symbolize Strength, and Discipline. Because of that, the average (well-educated) Dutch person tends to be quite soft and kind. Not that being soft and kind in itself is a bad thing, but if you lack the capacity to be a bit harder to begin with, there's going to be trouble, and we see that here; Especially when it comes to the domain of sexuality and relationships.

I myself am certainly not a perfect example of someone who has mastered the qualities of stage Red, but I do see the value in it and I would say I got a decent amount of it relative to the average Dutch person. However, if you were to put me in a typical stage Red country or environment like prison for example, I would have to be honest that I would probably be overwhelmed by it; at least initially. I still have a lot of stage Red to develop. And i'm using this topic to tell you guys and also to remind myself why it is important to develop a strong and healthy stage Red.

Let's go over it. Why would we want to develop a strong stage Red? Isn't that backwards? Shouldn't we be above that?

The answer is: No!

If we do not have a strong and healthy stage Red, we may encounter several of the following problems or shortcomings (note: some of these points may be in part be compensated by having a strong stage Orange (and in some cases stage Blue or other stages), but having a weak stage Red will still make it so that these qualities aren't as good as they could be):

• You won't be able to set strong boundaries
• You won't be able to say: "No!"
• You won't be able to be a strong, respected leader.
• You won't be able to create sexual passion and polarity with a romantic partner (unless you partner does it for you)
• People won't trust you to protect and lead them
• You will lack authority
• You won't know how to protect yourself in a physical fight
• You will easily be manipulated and exploited
• (usually as a woman) you will not be able to resist and defend yourself and just say "No!" or even more casually "Don't do that" when a man starts becoming sexually harrassive (you might however create a big media item about it afterwards so you can feel like you still have some control)
• You will self-sacrifice way too much, and even when you do make a decision to set personal boundaries for yourself, you will probably feel guilt and shame about it; Especially when it means other people will have a more difficult time without your help. 
• You will lack assertiveness
• You will easily be a coward
• You will easily be hurt, shocked and damaged by life; You won't have a proper shell to protect yourself.
• You will lack passion; therefore you will also lack additional fuel for stage Blue discipline or stage Orange ambitions.
• You will lack the ability to be authentic and pure
• You will be too indecisive and ambigious
• You will easily fall victim to circumstances; You will easily be a victim in general, even just as a mindset.
• You may have trouble expressing anger, bottling it all up or becoming emotionally stifled and numb.
• You will crumple when a great crisis like a war, famine, flooding, hurricane or some other major survival crisis breaks out, whereas a strong stage Red actually thrives here (usually in many unhealthy ways, though)
• You will be easily oppressed and enslaved
• You will lack raw courage (although courage may manifest itself in different forms, I'm talking about 'stage red courage')
• You won't be able to tell people the cold, hard truth of a situation and therefore everybody stays stuck with a damaging lie.
• You won't be able to make sacrifices for the greater whole because your reactions would be too emotional (an example would be to let a elderly person in the hospital on respiration for Covid die to make place for a new person because the hospital is full and new, younger people are coming in who have still much more potential future ahead of them)
• You will dread taking the responsibility for making difficult decisions (like the one mentioned above), or not even make the decision at all.
• You may not actually fire an employee of your company who is very incompetent or detrimental because you don't want to hurt this person's feelings.
• You will be overly emotional and therefore unable to see the bigger picture.
• You will lack confidence
• (as a man) Women won't be attracted to you because you lack a grounded, masculine 'swagger'; You won't interest her biological sex drive.
• You will lack a general grounding within yourself
• You will be unable to deliver a difficult message in a deadpan, serious manner.
• You will be unable to confront people when they're acting out of alignment with Truth or their integrity
• You will smile when you don't want to, you will compliment people when you don't mean it, you will tell lies in order not to hurt or offend them, and you will be unable to be genuine and authentic with others.
• When somebody is getting beaten up in public by some thugs, you will just be like everybody else: standing, staring, being shocked but not actually doing anything to stop this person from being beaten up maybe even to the point where he gets killed. You will be a coward just like everybody else.
• Same thing when a car crash happens: You will just either park and stare or drive along but you won't take immediate action to rescue the person who is trapped in the burning wreck.
• You will be a people pleaser
• You will probably have a weak physical body
• You will be unable to take the hard and intense but necessary steps to improve upon the greater whole

Do I need to come up with even more points?

Again, I'm not saying I have a perfectly healthy stage Red myself; I also have a lot of these shortcoming listed above. But at least I'm acknowledging and aware of these shortcomings, and I'm working on these and intend to improve upon these more going forward into the future.

So how do work on improving our stage Red qualities?

Well, here are some examples I can come up with to connect you with the stage Red spirit.

• Practice setting boundaries
• Practice saying "No" more often to other people
• Practice being more direct 
• Practice taking ownership of your decisions even, or actually especially on things people would judge you strongly on
• Practice (maybe even an immediate form of) "Reacting from your gut" a little bit more instead of trying to think everything through
• Confront people more
• Be more decisive
• Be more honest
• Be more aggressive
• Be more assertive
• Be more cocky with your humor
• Dare to brag and pride yourself for things a little bit more
• Make more bold moves
• Try preventing yourself from smiling so much and be more serious
• Focus more on taking action, and less on thinking or feeling
• Try to lead people more often
• Be more bold, daring and dominant in the bedroom (and actually outside of it too)
• Get yourself into BDSM; The sadist perspective.
• If you're a man: Start practicing game and pickup (Be careful not to let your stage Red become unhealthy here, though!)
• You can start practicing martial arts and join a group that practices it. Especially hardcore combatative disciplines such as MMA, (kick)boxing, Krav Maga and such would be good. Although you don't need to go so hardcore and can do something like Aikido or Karate or whatever else is out there as well, even it were to just use it as a stepping stone.
• You can start working out your body; especially intense physical training such weightlifting or powerlifting would be good. Something that would make you physically strong.
• You can start watching material online of people or activities who/that embody and/or promote stage red values (usually or possibly amongst others). Examples I can think right off the bat are Elliot Hulse/Strength camp, Wes Watson (he's actually an archetype of a very strong and healthy stage Red individual (along with strong stage Blue and Orange qualities as well)), David Goggins, and just generally aggressive types of people. 
• Also, certain combatative sports, or even just many sports in general have a lot of this stage Red combat element within them. American Football would be one good example (if you're only to watch it: don't watch them merely as entertainment though but make sure to use them for inspiration to implement in your own life)
• Certain movies can give you a lot of stage Red inspiration. War movies or something like Game of Thrones comes to mind.
• Practice saying, shouting and even screaming "No!" in front of a mirror, and numerous amount of iterations of that word such as "I won't do that!". Heck, you may just even scream and growl for the heck of it.
• Practice becoming more impulsive, especially with your anger. This may seem like a bad thing, but if you're consciously moving into anger and impulsivity if you were never used to doing that, this may actually be a good thing. You will for instance be able to communicate to other people on an emotional level how you were doing, where before you just told them logically or not even at all. An emotional message is usually a lot more powerful than a logical message, and thus it gets the point across often more clearly if you were just to say it logically
• See if you can find a way to channel your anger to express it when it's there, instead of waiting for it to pass by distracting yourself or finding other means to deal with it. See if maybe you can beat up a pillow or even get angry at your partner (as long as you're moving into anger consciously, it should work out for the better). You can also prepare for letting out your anger by going to a remote and silent area, bring a bat or a belt or something you can smash or hit with, and beat up a tree or something like that whilst screaming and yelling. In my (very recent) experience, it works better to see if you can find a way to let it come up a little bit and play with it a little bit instead of immediately trying to force it out. Using a little force however can be useful. You need to strike a right balance there between force and spontaneity

To conclude, I just want to say that it is very important that you don't take things too far, especially with stage Red. Whilst having a strong stage Red foundation is very important, it is also one of the stages where it becomes the most obvious and the most damaging for when it is going too far (or rather, when it starts having unhealthy manifestations). I'm not saying you should cultivate stage Red qualities just so you can become an effective selfish prick. A strong capacity for stage Red should be something that serves and supports the stages above it. Ultimately you should use stage red in servitude for achieving a higher purpose in your life, or even (counter-intuitively) give the people around you a better life.

Edited January 21, 2022 by Nightwise

[itachi uchiha]

Netherland is the capital of kick boxing.learn dutch kick boxing if u can.although boxing is the king of street fight,kickboxing is also good

[Nightwise]

That is true actually. I'm not interested in taking kickboxing anytime soon, however

[flyingguitarist]

That's similar  to development of  your Warrior archetype from "King Warrior Magician Lover" framework  

Edited January 27, 2022 by flyingguitarist

[mememe]

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

• Practice setting boundaries
• Practice saying "No" more often to other people
• Practice being more direct 
• Practice taking ownership of your decisions even, or actually especially on things people would judge you strongly on
• Practice (maybe even an immediate form of) "Reacting from your gut" a little bit more instead of trying to think everything through
• Confront people more
• Be more decisive
• Be more honest

yes

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

Be more aggressive

no

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

• Be more assertive
• Be more cocky with your humor
• Dare to brag and pride yourself for things a little bit more
• Make more bold moves

yes

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

Try preventing yourself from smiling so much and be more serious

no

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

Focus more on taking action, and less on thinking or feeling

yes

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

Try to lead people more often

only if you know where to

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

Be more bold, daring and dominant in the bedroom (and actually outside of it too)

no (dominance is sth training on it is not worth it) you can be more assertive or try to have more self esteem but don’t really waste your time on dominance except you need to live a fetish you already have on that.

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

Get yourself into BDSM; The sadist perspective.

if you are into it, better not try on people who are not into that stuff, discern between fetish and abuse.

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

If you're a man: Start practicing game and pickup (Be careful not to let your stage Red become unhealthy here, though!)

no (if you are into bdsm, it’s actually getting criminal)

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

• You can start practicing martial arts and join a group that practices it. Especially hardcore combatative disciplines such as MMA, (kick)boxing, Krav Maga and such would be good. Although you don't need to go so hardcore and can do something like Aikido or Karate or whatever else is out there as well, even it were to just use it as a stepping stone.
• You can start working out your body; especially intense physical training such weightlifting or powerlifting would be good. Something that would make you physically strong.

yes

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

Also, certain combatative sports, or even just many sports in general have a lot of this stage Red combat element within them. American Football would be one good example (if you're only to watch it: don't watch them merely as entertainment though but make sure to use them for inspiration to implement in your own life)

maybe

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

Certain movies can give you a lot of stage Red inspiration. War movies or something like Game of Thrones comes to mind.

no (don’t waste your time on war movies, better watch historical inspired stuff, middleages is good for red understanding, but don’t waste your time on stupid battle for fictive or patriotic reasons)

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

Practice saying, shouting and even screaming "No!" in front of a mirror, and numerous amount of iterations of that word such as "I won't do that!". Heck, you may just even scream and growl for the heck of it.

yes, and please do the yes part, too. “i will do it” is also red energy. i‘m better than you is also red energy (can you take it?) - just joking

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

Practice becoming more impulsive, especially with your anger. This may seem like a bad thing, but if you're consciously moving into anger and impulsivity if you were never used to doing that, this may actually be a good thing. You will for instance be able to communicate to other people on an emotional level how you were doing, where before you just told them logically or not even at all. An emotional message is usually a lot more powerful than a logical message, and thus it gets the point across often more clearly if you were just to say it logically

no

On 21.1.2022 at 6:28 AM, Nightwise said:

See if you can find a way to channel your anger to express it when it's there, instead of waiting for it to pass by distracting yourself or finding other means to deal with it. See if maybe you can beat up a pillow or even get angry at your partner (as long as you're moving into anger consciously, it should work out for the better). You can also prepare for letting out your anger by going to a remote and silent area, bring a bat or a belt or something you can smash or hit with, and beat up a tree or something like that whilst screaming and yelling. In my (very recent) experience, it works better to see if you can find a way to let it come up a little bit and play with it a little bit instead of immediately trying to force it out. Using a little force however can be useful. You need to strike a right balance there between force and spontaneity

only if you have had problems addressing anger before.

 

i like that you are taking up the topic, although many of the stuff you listed is toxic red. healthy red energy in child development is just developing a strong ego/selfesteem - which is why it is one of the problem stages. although it also means developing an ego in a social context (knowing when to not be red, or take back the ego). generosity for example is a very red emotion. you could develop on that or develop the ability to fall in love painfully and consuming, that’s also red. puting yourself in scene is red, dressing up for example. becoming a bit vain, in your choices is red. (for example with how bdsm you lable masculinity ;D half of the show here in reality, you probably only ever meet in the darkroom, if you ever go there).

 

Edited January 27, 2022 by mememe

[LSD-Rumi]

@Nightwise This is called cultivating a good and healthy amount of masculinity and confidence and it is different from integrating stage red. Integrating stage red means you are able to be violent and aggressive when it is necessary. Most people integrate stage red fairly well, it is us the nice guys introverts who don't and thus we tend to overvalue this stuff. Don't overestimate the importance of masculinity. get yourself a healthy amount and then move on to other domains. There are in life much more important stuff.

Edited January 27, 2022 by LSD-Rumi

[hyruga]

Not red enough. I want to see blood.

Tell me why Donald trump is in Stage Red? What about Saddam Hussein?

Tell me what are their minds thinking which cause them to become red?

[Ulax]

@Nightwise I like what you say. However, I would stay away from Hulse. Dude is toxic imo.

Jocko Willink would be a healthier example. He's more psychologically integrated than those two imo.

[Ya know]

Careful you don't become a demon on your journey. It's probably inevitable if you want to cultivate red though.

Pushing Red till breaking point is a great way to get into blue though. Nothing like remorse and shame to get into Christianity haha.

[Ya know]

This movie is a good example of Red

What would've happened if it was some other guy?