I’m becoming a guru and people are starting to follow me

[playdoh]

People are starting to look up to me. People are coming to me for advice. I find myself guiding people but I don’t even feel like I’m doing it. It’s like later in retrospect I realized what is happening. It’s like I’m not controlling my life. 

Im living in a green community. I’ve been asking to find my purpose. Is this my purpose unfolding? Guru or leader of some sort? I honestly don’t enjoy it when people come to me telling me their problems. Do I just go with it? Is this just life unraveling itself? But I want to feel like I am in control. I want to feel like I’m deciding how I want to live. I recently saw eckhart Tolle video where he says if your not present life is going to feel like it’s happening to you. I guess this is what is happening?

I see I am running a program. The whole “angel” program. A lot of light workers in the green community and I observe how angels are real. If I’m going to play an external life role might as well be this one. One where I’m doing good, helping raise the consciousness of humanity and can set me up for the rest of my life. But how come I don’t feel like I’m choosing this. I want to be in control of my destiny. 

Isn’t this stage turquoise spiral dynamics  stuff? Guru? Im considerably more advanced than the esoteric community here, I feel a lot of people look up to me and want me to give them advice. People writing me letters and telling me how they joined this community to be with me. Saying I have an amazing energy. People tell me I’m interdimensional and stuff (the truth is I’ve experienced infinity, infinite realities happening simultaneously and I guess people can see that?). I get this crazy amounts of energy running through me and friends telling me I’m experiencing a kundalini awakening. I go outside and under the night sky and breathe in the prana from the stars and moon and feel every pore and part of my being  beaming with energy. I go to ecstatic dances often and I go off. When I say I go off I really mean it, I’ve become a really good dancer with tons of energy. Not to long ago at a party there was a crowd of maybe 20 people just sitting down watching me dancing on the dance floor alone for almost an hour. I work in a job where I interact with people on a daily basis most of whom aren’t spiritual and I can see they see the spiritual when they look in my eyes and it makes them believe and I see it has a profound experience on them and it makes me feel good. And I’ve been through a lot so I know stuff. I feel my sense of self inflating sometimes but I’m pretty aware of it and in a way find it entertaining. But it feels so hollow. Like I can just pop it. So I just watch and observe. But at the same time I wonder if all this is real?

P.S. People telling me all sorts of things I don’t understand like I astral travel the world at night and if I do I’m not even aware of this. I live in a Harry Potter type house with roommates experiencing the most far out mystical and profound experiences you could ever imagine. I feel so much gratitude to experience these experiences am just so in aw. 

P.S.2. I read Siddhartha (which if you haven’t I highly recommend it). But I feel like I’m on that path. I’m grateful for what I’ve learned thus far but from now on at least for now I just want to start experiencing life and learn from life’s experiences and not learn from other experiences like in a book or forum that I feel  can put me in a box and give me preconceived notions  and make me start acting in a way that I think I should act instead of a acting the way I would actually want to act. I’ve been avoiding talking about this because it’s like I don’t want to egg on my ego but it’s getting to a point where I can’t deny it anymore. I feel I’m at a point where I could seek some guidance from some wise people in this forum because this could impact the rest of my life and others. Thank you so much and your consideration and prudence is much appreciated ?

Edited January 20, 2022 by playdoh

[Kksd74628]

"But I want to feel like I am in control" ... ... ... From control comes anxiety like you are having right now, but from surrending grows relief.

"I wonder if all this is real?" ... ... ... What changes if the food you eat and enjoy is really there or not?

"I honestly don't enjoy it when people come to me telling me their problems" ... ... ... First of all you should be grateful for being the one people ask help from, because you are important for them. Secondly you have responsibility in sense for what you say, because they trust your words. Shouldn't you enjoy being in place where you are giving back what you got from Universe or do you really wanna leave when it's time for paying back. You sure that this is not selfish act? Anyways if you still don't want to do that then why won't you just tell them that you won't help them anymore if that is what you truly want?

[Windappreciator]

nothing wrong with being a guru you guys

[Zeroguy]

@playdoh Well done!

Sign me up. 

[BipolarGrowth]

I’d say to just keep things going and see if it’s something you can actually see yourself doing for some time. Sounds like a good opportunity for a spiritually-minded person. 

[Gregory1]

4 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

I’d say to just keep things going and see if it’s something you can actually see yourself doing for some time. Sounds like a good opportunity for a spiritually-minded person. 

A good *opportunity* to get their Money

[BipolarGrowth]

Just now, Gregory1 said:

A good *opportunity* to get their Money

Guruin’ don’t come free! 

[Gregory1]

@BipolarGrowth I like your beard

[playdoh]

7 hours ago, Kksd74628 said:

"But I want to feel like I am in control" ... ... ... From control comes anxiety like you are having right now, but from surrending grows relief.

"I wonder if all this is real?" ... ... ... What changes if the food you eat and enjoy is really there or not?

"I honestly don't enjoy it when people come to me telling me their problems" ... ... ... First of all you should be grateful for being the one people ask help from, because you are important for them. Secondly you have responsibility in sense for what you say, because they trust your words. Shouldn't you enjoy being in place where you are giving back what you got from Universe or do you really wanna leave when it's time for paying back. You sure that this is not selfish act? Anyways if you still don't want to do that then why won't you just tell them that you won't help them anymore if that is what you truly want?

thank you for your words!

[playdoh]

7 hours ago, Windappreciator said:

nothing wrong with being a guru you guys

Lol

[playdoh]

6 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

@playdoh Well done!

Sign me up. 

Lol will do!

[playdoh]

6 hours ago, Medhansh said:

If you are more advanced, then it's natural for people to come to you for advice. This doesn't necessarily put you in a guru-like position, but it does put you in a guide-like position. It is a really positive signal. This means that you are more advanced than most people, and fortunately, people around you recognise that. This means that the people around you are fairly advanced as well, as they are able to put their egos aside and ask you for advice. 

Just don't get attached to it. Nothing wrong with helping people.

Thankss ??

[playdoh]

56 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

I’d say to just keep things going and see if it’s something you can actually see yourself doing for some time. Sounds like a good opportunity for a spiritually-minded person. 

??

[playdoh]

52 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

Guruin’ don’t come free! 

Lol