Has anybody here gotten good results with Tinder, Badoo etc.?

[Brandon L]

I've gotten good results for the most part, sometimes the girls wont be on the apps that much and they take awhile to match or respond, so you just have to be patient for them to text back or wait days in advance to double text them so you wont come across as needy, they will eventually text back if you know proper text game. I seem to get more hotter girls on Badoo though. I just matched with another super hot girl on badoo, so it really just depends on how active the girls are on the apps.

[PurpleTree]

3 hours ago, Brandon L said:

I just matched with another super hot girl on badoo, so it really just depends on how active the girls are on the apps.

did you meet "her" yet? maybe it's just a dude doing the cat fishings

[something_else]

2 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

did you meet "her" yet? maybe it's just a dude doing the cat fishings

In my experience  with tinder this is very rare and obvious when it happens

What possible incentive do guys have to do this?

The ones that are bots/men are ridiculously obvious if you have more than three braincells

[flowboy]

23 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

 

I feel this emotional/energetic dirt/filth that blocks resonating with this statement.

At least I don't have a resounding "NO!" or "impossible" as a reaction to something like this anymore.

Regarding conditioning, there is definitely something about the "deserving" and "can have" part. Firstly, it's like the "deserve" is always around the corner, very conditional, a carrot on a stick of my perfectionism where I will never live up to my standards and then start deserving something. Regarding the "can have" is a feeling of impotence of simply being unable to manifest what I want.

It also feels like a play with oneself, the masculine ego basking in the beauty of the struggle and thus blocking the actualisation of desires.

The two interpretations are from different perspectives, so let me know what you think.

 

Of course when I say "You can have everything you really want", there's a catch because I'm referring to alignment with what's authentic. Some apparent wants will fall away as non-authentic, at the same time as what is really true and wanted is progressively seen as effortless and already here. That said, anything is possible. Provided that it is really desired, rather than needed to compensate for perceived lack.

Quote

Regarding conditioning, there is definitely something about the "deserving" and "can have" part. Firstly, it's like the "deserve" is always around the corner, very conditional, a carrot on a stick of my perfectionism where I will never live up to my standards and then start deserving something. Regarding the "can have" is a feeling of impotence of simply being unable to manifest what I want.

Inquire into who gave you this conditioning. Different people along the way, but you can realise this way that limiting beliefs are usually a gift from other people who were feeling very limited. You can stop seeing it as "yours".  Your perfectionism is also not yours, someone taught you that. It's developed as a defense mechanism against pain, for example a strict or conditionally loving parent, or early experiences with social rejection. When you're ready to go through that realisation, that's a good step towards dissolving it altogether and putting the judging part of your psyche to better use. Of course there's processes for that that can take weeks or months, I'm just giving you a bird's eye view.

23 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

It also feels like a play with oneself, the masculine ego basking in the beauty of the struggle and thus blocking the actualisation of desires.

Excellent, I recognize this in myself too.

I had beliefs that the struggle was necessary, that without the struggle the result didn't count, I was proud of struggling, I idealised it and was attached to the struggle. So I kept struggling for a long time ...?

Edited February 3, 2022 by flowboy

[Brandon L]

@PurpleTree She has a blue check mark. She is verified. 

[Karmadhi]

On 1/29/2022 at 11:25 AM, flowboy said:

I'm habitually suspicious when people put energy into discussing topics that feel disempowering.

It's an occupational hazard.

Usually there's something there, unresolved, that if it were resolved, the interest in the topic would dissipate altogether.

If a playboy that gets tons of hot girls or a player wrote what i did then what would your reponse be to him?

I have seen a few that say that dating if you re not a top 20 percent man or an "average" guy is super fucked and extremly hard. These guys probably are on the top 1 percent of guys so u cannot say they "feel frustrated and lonely".

What will your response be to them?

[Hardkill]

I've got about half of my lays from Tinder. I believe I also got most of my dates from Tinder, Bumble, and the like.

You gotta play the numbers game like crazy, even much more so than in IRL.

Being naturally good looking certainly helps a bit more with apps and online dating than in IRL. Being about 5'9" or taller also helps get results with datings apps and online dating.

However getting your body in as best of shape as possible, getting a cool haircut style (or having a badass bald look like Vin Diesel), and having a well groomed sexy facial hair style that's work well for you (or having a clean shaven face), dressing as cool as possible in the kind style of that's most authentic to you matters, possibly wearing some stylish accessories (ring(s) for men on your fingers, earrings, chains, hats, glasses) that you like and are congruent to you, all together matter A LOT MORE than having the face of a male model or a male movie star or how tall or how short you are.

Lastly, the quality of your photos matter much more than you realize. This means that most of your photos must be taken by a pro photographer and you should really try to pose in a way that best conveys the cool and positive side of yourself in an authentic manner. Your pics need to look like they are coming from a cover or page of a magazine. Also, take pics of yourself in fun environments that you enjoy being. If you enjoy doing some kind of hobby or doing any kind of physical activity such as a sport, workout routine, hiking, climbing mountains, camping, hunting, fishing, skydiving, or what have you then show a good pic or two of any of that. If you like to go to parties, clubs, or bars, then take cool and fun pics of you having a really great time partying with friends (of course don't take pics of you drunk). You really don't need to take pics of yourself being in a fancy sports car, living in a mansion, or showing off how rich you are like Andrew Tate does. Otherwise, you'll just come off as a schmuck or a real tryhard or a sugar daddy. The idea of all of this is that you convey what yours passions, that you got cool and fun things going on in your life. 

Also, have one regular selfie that you can just take a picture of on your smartphone, just to show that you in all of your professional quality pics are really you. 

[Spiral]

Back in the day, I lost my virginity thru  these sorts of apps. That was many years ago. I am however a good looking guy and never struggled with girls. 

[ElenaO]

I got good results with Tinder. In fact I married the man. And have a child right now. Happy.
Be direct and don't beat around the bush - say right away on your profile what are you looking for. Also quit any dates that aren't for you - they have different goals, you don't like them, don't waste your time.

[Roy]

I've done it all, and would recommend people drop apps completely. The technology is convenient but that's about it. In reality it's effect has been ironically been the OPPOSITE of what it was made for, it's stunted our ability to connect, not enhanced it. It's made people more shallow, bitter, entitled, and confused than ever.

Just meet people in real life when you're out in the world working or doing stuff you like. If you see a girl that's cute. Literally walk up to her and ask her out, you'll know right away if there is chemistry. Instead of being led on through an app for a week to waste money and time on a date, only to find out you have no chemistry when you meet them. Online chit-chat means absolutely nothing.

[Eyowey]

I matched with a hot one last week surprisingly but she didn't have the balls to start a conversation.

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Eyowey said:

I matched with a hot one last week surprisingly but she didn't have the balls to start a conversation.

Neither did you apparently

[meta_male]

On 2.2.2023 at 9:06 AM, Eyowey said:

I matched with a hot one last week surprisingly but she didn't have the balls to start a conversation.

Girls rarely do unless they have very high attraction for you to start with.

[Kid A]

On 2.2.2023 at 6:13 AM, Roy said:

Just meet people in real life when you're out in the world working or doing stuff you like. If you see a girl that's cute. Literally walk up to her and ask her out, you'll know right away if there is chemistry.

Problem is that most girls will most likely not be interested in you and they will find a cold approach like this pretty unpleasant. To hit on a girl in your social circle/school/work can also be highly problematic if she's not interested in you, and it can create quite a toxic environment. Unfortunately I speak from personal experience here.  

[Roy]

8 hours ago, Kid A said:

Problem is that most girls will most likely not be interested in you and they will find a cold approach like this pretty unpleasant. To hit on a girl in your social circle/school/work can also be highly problematic if she's not interested in you, and it can create quite a toxic environment. Unfortunately I speak from personal experience here.  

It's only cold if the first thing you say is "you're cute, lets go out". Spending a few minutes to talk and ask questions is enough to let them know you're not a sociopath. If it's someone you know through school or work or whatever, then you get even MORE time to get acquainted so it's acceptable to ask them out.

95% of women don't have an issue with politely declining. Only 5% will make a "highly problematic" scene, and it's usually because the guy isn't aware of how he's coming off and if he is being appropriate or not.

[Hardkill]

Roy has a very valid point.

I do think that apps are okay to use, but they definitely should not be the main way to meet and date girls.

Cold and warm approaching as well as social circle should be every guy’s primary ways of meeting and dating girls. 

Online dating and dating apps should only be used as a supplement to your dating and sex life. 

Edited February 6, 2023 by Hardkill

[universe]

Good results? Nah, but funny situations, awkward dates and some one night stands 

[flowboy]

Thread is a year old, was revived by a spammer.

[Karmadhi]

From what I have noticed with the guys in my city that do well in online dating and cold approach, online dating is better for getting purely laid while daygame is better for finding a girlfriend.

I notice often that the players I know when they go out with girls from daygame the girl often wants something more serious, meanwhile online dating is more for hookups. I am of course generalizing here. 

Nightgame is not done a lot in my city so I cannot say much, however it is also more hookup oriented than daygame but less than online dating, that would be my estimation. I am unsure of it though.

So depending on what you want, act accordingly. 

[blackchair]

god no, Grindr is pure hell....