Do You Stop To Remember Why You Started Something?

[eskwire]

Do you ever catch yourself involved in an activity, process, or path that started innocently enough but the ego latches on -- becoming competitive and achievement hungry?

This is an experience I had with this today. Please share if you've had a similar experience:

I have been doing kenpo karate for about 2 years. Today, I belt tested for a recommended black belt. 

Last night, I read a comment from Leo about many people starting martial arts for neurotic and insecure reasons. Of course, he's right. You see it all the time. People who are deeply insecure and who watch too many action movies -- compensating.

I felt discouraged this morning before the test. Testing always sucks but I felt so over the whole thing. Quitting and not attending was a very tempting option. I know the belts are meaningless. So why am I doing this?

Good question. WHY AM I DOING THIS? I have gotten competitive and stayed with karate way longer than I intended out of a sense of obligation to the dojo (I also work there now). Meaningless. But why did I start?

I remembered.

I remembered driving by the dojo and thinking, "Oh, there's something to do here."

I had moved from San Diego to my family's land in the woods of Arkansas. I was driving 20 miles to a grocery store, knew nobody but family, and exercised only in my home. 

So, why I'm doing it now is a sense of obligation to keep achieving...but I started to get some exercise and meet health/goal conscious people. 

I went to my belt test just *to get some exercise and see my friends.* It was great.  Totally different tone. 

My instructor is a good friend of mine and we went to a trampoline park after the test, playing as children again! Enjoying our bodies spazzing around and flying through the air.

An additional plus is that I got a serious blow to my ego. A young, insecure teenaged boy took me down to the ground during the sloppiest, stupidest sparring match I've ever had. It was filmed and it's on Facebook for all my acquaintances to see. His ego got a huge boost at the expense of mine. But that's how ego works. To feed it, it must take from others. He is needs deficient, though, still needing to strengthen his ego before he can let it go. I am much further along on that, so it was something I could give to him with joy.

It was a wholesome, joyous day and the only thing that got me to even try was remembering why I started. Not the egoic reasons I had continued. 

[SFRL]

@eskwire so did you get the black belt? I would congratulate you. But I cant make that up out of your story.

Now you see you say you meet your health and fitness goals there doing Karate. Now you see that is a very important thing, but thats something you take for granted and therefore not give the proper appreciation.  

I used to do boxing competitively. And I was in great shape. I trained a lot and very hard. And of course I knew that I was in great shape because of  the hard training. Being in better shape then the other guys was my goal because I knew that way I could beat them. It wasnt about health or looking good. That was a nice side effect, but the goal always was beating the competition. 

When I was 17/18 and I just started boxing I would go train outside with some guys outside of gym hours. There was this guy I trained with he needed to get ready for a fight, and I wanted to learn so I helped him out and he would teach me some things. And we came to this conversation, I was 18 he was 30.

And he said: "When you are your age you have the eternal youth. Because every year you get older you are the same age. Every year you get older you are still young. But there comes a time that you get older. Then you can see you get older,and  you will feel you get older. And then you realize you get older and you dont have the eternal youth anymore."

And I am like nodding my head like "yeah, yeah, yeah" saying I understand. I mean I looked up to this guy right.

And he is like: "No you dont understand. At your age you cant understand. Right now you have the eternal youth. But you will understand when you are 30".

And this guy he wasnt intelligent at all. His IQ was definitely below average. But he was right about that.

So I go on with boxing right, getting better, getting in better shape, and there is this tournament I wanted to win. Thats what I had my sights on. And then I won the tournament. And then after that I experienced the same as you did. You reach that goal that you wanted to reach and then afterwards its like and what now? Well now its time to grow. Basically you crossed the river and now you are in new lands. And what are you going to do there? Its not mapped out. So that is the challenge.

For me I decided to go do other things. Go for new adventures. And I figured well I always trained so hard and so much. I wont have time to do that anymore. I may be able to train 3 times a week but thats not even close to what I do now so that way I will regress anyways so let me just stop training altogether.

So what happens I dont train anymore I eat whatever I want and I get out of shape. Like most other people are out of shape. And this happened in my early twentys.

So then when I hit 30 I am out of shape. And I decide to get back in shape. And its just much harder then I thought it was. Of course because I had not worked out properly for like 7 years. Bad eating habits. Some other bad habits. 

And the thing is. When you look at people in their 30's. The majority is out of shape and fat, old, and ugly. And why is that? 1) They got older 2) Accumulating affect of bad habits year after year getting to them 3) Bad eating habits 4) No exercise. Number 1 you cant change. 2,3,4 you can. And in your 30's those are the most important ones. In your 30's you are still not that old.

But the thing is when they are young nobody appreciates their "eternal youth" and then they just have these bad habits and then once people hit 30 you really see a divider among people. The ones that take care of their health and workout. And they keep looking fresh and young. And the ones that dont and they become fat, sick, and ugly.

So now you are 30 I see. But you are not that old and probably in good shape. But you are blind to how great that really is. You let that go you will become less self actualized because it has positive influences on your life that you dont recognize right now because you dont appreciate what you have and what karate gives you.    

Edited January 8, 2017 by STC

[Richard Alpert]

People should be peaking physically in their 30s if they know what a fuck they are doing. Lets say between 26-33.

If you look at long distance runners or powerlifters, people on their 20s doesnt take titles much.

Im 30, i am in better shape than i was between 18-25. I dont train superhard, but im much wiser on my training and nutrition. And i used to play soccer on national level at 17. I wish i had then known what to eat and how to build endurance and strength.

[SFRL]

@Richard Alpert If people actually work out at 30 yes. Otherwise they will go down the drain fast.

People in their teens and early 20's they tend to be in at least half decent shape no matter what they do. 

[Richard Alpert]

Just now, STC said:

@Richard Alpert If people actually work out at 30 yes. Otherwise they will go down the drain fast.

People in their teens and early 20's they tend to be in at least half decent shape no matter what they do. 

true. your body can take a beating in ur 20s.

but yea, the problem is that most people eat shit, drink beer on weekends and workout here and there and that will show in time,

That´s why at least 50-60% start to be half-fat / fat closer to 30.

[Richard Alpert]

Adults Age 20 and Older2

More than two-thirds (68.8 percent) of adults are considered to be overweight or obese.

More than one-third (35.7 percent) of adults are considered to be obese.

More than 1 in 20 (6.3 percent) have extreme obesity.

Almost 3 in 4 men (74 percent) are considered to be overweight or obese.

The prevalence of obesity is similar for both men and women (about 36 percent).

About 8 percent of women are considered to have extreme obesity.

Hahhah. this is ín america.

[SFRL]

19 minutes ago, Richard Alpert said:

Adults Age 20 and Older2

More than two-thirds (68.8 percent) of adults are considered to be overweight or obese.

More than one-third (35.7 percent) of adults are considered to be obese.

More than 1 in 20 (6.3 percent) have extreme obesity.

Almost 3 in 4 men (74 percent) are considered to be overweight or obese.

The prevalence of obesity is similar for both men and women (about 36 percent).

About 8 percent of women are considered to have extreme obesity.

Hahhah. this is ín america.

America definitely got issues lol. 

I live in the US now. When I go back to Europe I can tell that people in Europe generally seem happier. 

[eskwire]

@STC The story doesn't say because the moral of the story is that belts don't matter.  But yes I did get the new rank. Recommended black belt - the belt before black. 

You're right. The exercise is really the point. I feel so sore today and that's what feels like an accomplishment. Not the rank. The rank's not hard. Goofy children do karate. 

[SFRL]

@eskwire congratulations. I wouldn't say the belts don't matter. I try not to think in absolutes like that, but rather try to see it in the right perspective. 

Edited January 8, 2017 by STC

[eskwire]

@STC Hmmm true, that is a belief. Thank you.