Why do I think that I'm dumb/foolish and what can be done about it?

[Preety_India]

I don't know why the previous topic was locked, that was ridiculous that it was locked when I was asking a genuine question. 

Am I really dumb or is this just a thought? Is it even healthy to ask myself this. I have been questioning my own intelligence recently in terms of how I make choices in my life. I don't think I have made good choices. I think consistently making bad choices could be a sign of foolishness? 

Am I very dumb? And please don't answer it as simply yes or no. I'm looking for some insights into what a person can do if they think they have done some dumb things in life and it they don't want their pattern of behavior to repeat. 

This question comes to my mind very often. I don't know if it's healthy to ask myself such a question. Because it's hard to analyze myself. 

So i think it's best to ask other people. 

Am I really stupid or is this just my insecurity? 

I'm not talking about IQ here. Just general. 

Also is there a way to know if you're acting stupid in your life. 

Additional info — I was born underweight and I was born a premature baby according to my mom. 

I was good at school grades but not good at social skills, and lacked general wisdom. 

I'm not sure if my birth factors count. But just wanted to throw in that info.

Also is there a difference between dumb and immature? 

I did some dumb things in life like not looking after my own well being and not getting out of toxic relationships. 

Also I'm a bit slow. Quite slow. Much slower than others.. This is not just a comparison but an observation. 

I'm open to criticism. Don't be afraid to tell me if you think I'm dumb according to you. 

Someone said to me that it's a good sign if I'm thinking about whether you are dumb or not. Because stupid people don't understand that they are stupid. "The Dunning-Kruger effect is a type of cognitive bias in which people believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. Essentially, low ability people do not possess the skills needed to recognize their own incompetence. The combination of poor self-awareness and low cognitive ability leads them to overestimate their own capabilities. The term lends a scientific name and explanation to a problem that many people immediately recognize—that fools are blind to their own foolishness. As Charles Darwin wrote in his book The Descent of Man, "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge."

https://www.verywellmind.com/an-overview-of-the-dunning-kruger-effect-4160740

 

But I doubt this. I do believe that even people who generally act dumb or foolish can actually question their stupid decisions if they see they are constantly getting into trouble. 

Help me with some insights. 

I'm looking for the kind of intelligence that helps a person take proper decisions in important areas like relationships and family where emotions tend to cloud your judgement. 

 

Also what kind of potential or intelligence (I mean how would you define it), is necessary for a person to be good at looking after their well being? I mean how would you define such capability? I seriously lack in the department of "well-being of self" and I tend to be quite stupid around it. I'm trying hard to figure out why I'm being so stupid with my own well being and how I can resolve this? 

 

Edited January 17, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

One insight by @HypnoticMagician is really helpful

A similar question I also asked myself when things didn't go as I predicted. Smart people are more likely to realize their stupidities. If you have a self-criticism ability at this level, you are smart. Although I am a versatility obsessed polymath,  being stupid in one area isn't the same thing as being stupid in general. If you are showing glimpses of intelligence in one area, it is pretty probable that you have the similar potential in other areas as well. You can become good at the things currently you are not capable of if you put your mind into it. Understanding whether you are stupid in one area is easy. Comparing yourself to better or worse people than you at that field so you can measure how far you have progressed in your target field of endeavor. You can measure your process with the amount of money in your bank account, with the test results your brain training application prints, with social network you can reach, of course, depending on how you define success, being smart or what fields you wanna become better at.

 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Preety_India said:

You can measure your process with the amount of money in your bank account, with the test results your brain training application prints, with social network you can reach, of course, depending on how you define success, being smart or what fields you wanna become better at.

So they locked the topic before i could answer you(kinda absurd tbh). What I mean to say is that sometimes intelligence cannot be solely measured by IQ tests especially if a person lacks emotional intelligence, tact etc. 

Money in the bank account can be a measure of success, however I still feel that despite having monetary success a person could still make many dumb mistakes in life 

 

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

If you are showing glimpses of intelligence in one area, it is pretty probable that you have the similar potential in other areas as well.

@HypnoticMagician.

I do agree with this to a certain extent yet I think I'm looking for the kind of intelligence that helps a person take proper decisions in important areas like relationships and family where emotions tend to cloud your judgement. 

Also what kind of potential or intelligence (I mean how would you define it), is necessary for a person to be good at looking after their well being? I mean how would you define such capability? I seriously lack in the department of "well-being of self" and I tend to be quite stupid around it. I'm trying hard to figure out why I'm being so stupid with my own well being and how I can resolve this? 

Thanks. 

 

[Gesundheit2]

Lol. Probably they were looking out for you. This kind of threads is like a troll magnet, and you have a history.

[itachi uchiha]

@Preety_India

Short answer= practice kriya yoga.kriya yoga should be learned under a person.try your best to learn it under a person .if u cant then go this link below and download 5gb torrent.

https://www.kriyayoga.com/

The kriya yoga from above source is better than learning kriya from books

 

 

 

Long answer

There is you and then there is your thoughts.remeber the term "i cannot live with myself". You exist as two .You are surrounded with your thoughts in the mind.now all your thoughts are negetive.so when u look at those thoughts ,they are so negetive and u feel bad about yourself.if u practice kriya for 15 minutes and up, u will get peace and happiness for 8 hours.kriya yoga switch off your thoughts by 80% for 8 hours.u practice another session of kriya yoga and u get 80% of thoughts switched  off for another 8 hours making it a total of 16 hours ie your waking time.if u get 80% of your thoughts switchedd off like this every day for 30 days then you will feel like u woke up from a dream.u get a mini wakeup from dream.you get self transcending experience in short span of time.u will rise above the negetive thoughts.your problems like i am not good enough,i am inferior to everyone,i am a bad person etc will disappear.remeber .kriya yoga is the greatest meditation path and is the fastest way to nirvikalpaka samadhi

 

 

My story.

As i practiced kriya,within a month or two , i woke up from a dream and realized that all myfriends were taking advantage of me.i saw them in real.also my life time inferiority complex was forever gone

[itachi uchiha]

Kriya yoga removed 80% of my negetive thoughts.i was getting amazing intoxicating states  bigger than sex for hours daily.within 1 year i forgot what depression looked like. And i was having depression every since i got memmory from childhood

Edited January 17, 2022 by itachi uchiha

[happyhappy]

wtf! why was the previous thread locked lol!

u ain't dumb at all sis and u kw, we love ya

 

[happyhappy]

14 minutes ago, itachi uchiha said:

@Preety_India

Short answer= practice kriya yoga.kriya yoga should be learned under a person.try your best to learn it under a person .if u cant then go this link below and download 5gb torrent.

https://www.kriyayoga.com/

The kriya yoga from above source is better than learning kriya from books

is this ur website bro?

[Preety_India]

18 minutes ago, itachi uchiha said:

@Preety_India

Short answer= practice kriya yoga.kriya yoga should be learned under a person.try your best to learn it under a person .if u cant then go this link below and download 5gb torrent.

https://www.kriyayoga.com/

The kriya yoga from above source is better than learning kriya from books

 

 

 

Long answer

There is you and then there is your thoughts.remeber the term "i cannot live with myself". You exist as two .You are surrounded with your thoughts in the mind.now all your thoughts are negetive.so when u look at those thoughts ,they are so negetive and u feel bad about yourself.if u practice kriya for 15 minutes and up, u will get peace and happiness for 8 hours.kriya yoga switch off your thoughts by 80% for 8 hours.u practice another session of kriya yoga and u get 80% of thoughts switched  off for another 8 hours making it a total of 16 hours ie your waking time.if u get 80% of your thoughts switchedd off like this every day for 30 days then you will feel like u woke up from a dream.u get a mini wakeup from dream.you get self transcending experience in short span of time.u will rise above the negetive thoughts.your problems like i am not good enough,i am inferior to everyone,i am a bad person etc will disappear.remeber .kriya yoga is the greatest meditation path and is the fastest way to nirvikalpaka samadhi

 

 

My story.

As i practiced kriya,within a month or two , i woke up from a dream and realized that all myfriends were taking advantage of me.i saw them in real.also my life time inferiority complex was forever gone

That's great. 

[SQAAD]

Hey I can relate a lot with what you are saying. You've had some bad experiences that negatively affected your self esteem. 

From my perspective there are no dumb people. There is only intelligence. Like there is only height. Some may have more or less of it. The lack of intelligence is a comparison. So yeah we all lack intelligence too. 

You are intelligent. The dumb comes when you compare with others. Dont do that. 

Elon Musk is way more intelligent than me in certain aspects . So what? 

There is always gonna be someone smarter. 

What you are doing now is an OCD compulsion. You are seeking reassurance. You want to control and get rid of this fear you have about being dumb. 

This only teaches the brain to be even more afraid. Stop checking and controlling . It's a compulsion and very bad for your mental health. 

You won't get the relief you want. You will just freak yourself out more. 

Accept your limitations and shortcomings. 

Leo is never gonna bench press 300 pounds. I will never become a math prodigy. And that's OK. 

Also 'intelligent' people make foolish mistakes all the time. We are all fools to different degrees. 

What you are going through is very understandable. Who wants to be dumb? Everyone wants to be the intelligent one. But the ego must be put aside. Recognise your strengths and weaknesses. I am terrible at math but I have incredible memory. We can't have it all. 

Look at Elon Musk. He is more like a robot with autism .  Find me someone who has the full package. It doesn't exist. There are certain trade offs.

 

 

Edited January 17, 2022 by SQAAD

[PurpleTree]

maybe you have some kind of ADD

they often make "bad" decisions

[itachi uchiha]

18 minutes ago, happyhappy said:

is this ur website bro?

If u want to reach nirvikalpaka samadhi u need to go to a teacher.learning under the teacher is the best option.the second best option is the website i mentioned.

[Preety_India]

40 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

Hey I can relate a lot with what you are saying. You've had some bad experiences that negatively affected your self esteem. 

From my perspective there are no dumb people. There is only intelligence. Some may have more or less of it. 

You are intelligent. The dumb comes when you compare with others. Dont do that. 

Elon Musk is way more intelligent than me in certain aspects . So what? 

There is always gonna be someone smarter. 

What you are doing now is an OCD compulsion. You are seeking reassurance. You want to control and get rid of this fear you have about being dumb. 

This only teaches the brain to be even more afraid. Stop checking and controlling . It's a compulsion and very bad for your mental health. 

You won't get the relief you want. You will just freak yourself out more. 

Accept your limitations and shortcomings. 

Leo is never gonna bench press 300 pounds. I will never become a math prodigy. And that's OK. 

Also 'intelligent' people make foolish mistakes all the time. We are all fools to different degrees. 

What you are going through is very understandable. Who wants to be dumb? Everyone wants to be the intelligent one. But the ego must be put aside. Recognise your strengths and weaknesses. I am terrible at math but I have incredible memory. We can't have it all. 

Look at Elon Musk. He is more like a robot with autism .  Find me someone who has full package. It doesn't exist. There are trade offs.

 

 

What if you are making mistakes that are almost life threatening. Let's say a woman is dumb enough to be stuck in an abusive relationship and the guy kills her or injures her. Now this mistake has really bad consequences. She wasn't intelligent enough to get out early. What if you don't ever want to repeat such a mistake? 

I think it is okay for intelligent people to make mistakes as long as these mistakes aren't a big deal.. 

But when any of your past mistakes and dumb/foolish decisions are so bad that they have deeply damaged you, wouldn't you want to rethink what can be done to avoid those things in the future? 

 

[SQAAD]

@Preety_India

10 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

What if you are making mistakes that are almost life threatening. Let's say a woman is dumb enough to be stuck in an abusive relationship and the guy kills her or injures her. Now this mistake has really bad consequences. She wasn't intelligent enough to get out early. What if you don't ever want to repeat such a mistake? 

I think it is okay for intelligent people to make mistakes as long as these mistakes aren't a big deal.. 

But when any of your past mistakes and dumb/foolish decisions are so bad that they have deeply damaged you, wouldn't you want to rethink what can be done to avoid those things in the future? 

 

I wouldn't call someone dumb for any mistake. I would only call someone dumb if they keep making the same mistake over and over again. (Have done that too lol). 

An Ancient Greek philosopher had a saying that basically if you make the same mistake twice you are not wise. 

Of course when you get burned by a mistake you really want to learn from it and avoid repeating it. So it's very normal to rethink what went wrong. 

I've made some pretty stupid mistakes also. You are not alone. You are brave for admitting. The other people aren't a lot smarter than you. They just hide their bs better than you. 

Edited January 17, 2022 by SQAAD

[Raphael]

Quote

Am I really dumb or is this just a thought?

Is it a thought, but it is also:

• Anxiety
• Fear
• Lack of self-esteem
• Poor conditioning
• A difficult childhood
• Traumas
• Pain in your body
• And more.

Quote

Is it even healthy to ask myself this

Yes because it brings awareness to it before you overcome it.

Quote

Am I very dumb?

One part to start overcoming this feeling of being dumb is to feel it. Feel being dumb. Feel it so much so that at a point being dumb doesn't bother you anymore. Exhaust this feeling. Being dumb is great because when someone recognizes that he/she is dumb this person is less afraid of being dumb and will do less things to prove that he/she is dumb/not dumb but rather do what he/she desires from the heart.

Quote

This question comes to my mind very often.

If it comes to the mind very often it will create a self-fulfilling prophecy that will entertain what you qualify as being bad decisions. Another part of overcoming the feeling of being dumb that is to say Enough after you became aware that this is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy, then Observe It, then Let Go.

Quote

Also is there a way to know if you're acting stupid in your life. 

If you see a reoccurring pattern where you: Do Dumb Thing => Heal => Do Dumb Thing and often end up in a similar place this is an indication that something can be changed.

Quote

I did some dumb things in life like not looking after my own well being and not getting out of toxic relationships. 

Also I'm a bit slow. Quite slow. Much slower than others.. This is not just a comparison but an observation.

I did dumb things too and I'm also slow. I'm currently working on overcoming that by healing, processing the shame, accepting what happened, letting go of the re-occurring thoughts so that it doesn't become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and focusing on what I want.

Quote

I'm looking for the kind of intelligence that helps a person take proper decisions in important areas like relationships and family where emotions tend to cloud your judgement. 

What I'm currently doing in this area is continuing to heal the traumas and giving love to people. I also cut the emotional bond with a relative recently and did it by telling to myself while thinking about him "There's no need for me to continue entertain his traumas and conditioning inside me". It made me more aware of the things that I had in common with this person and helped me have some distance, understand him, and give him love. It improved my opinion of him.

You can maybe try something similar to see if it works for you.

Quote

Also what kind of potential or intelligence (I mean how would you define it), is necessary for a person to be good at looking after their well being? I mean how would you define such capability? I seriously lack in the department of "well-being of self" and I tend to be quite stupid around it. I'm trying hard to figure out why I'm being so stupid with my own well being and how I can resolve this? 

If you struggle in the department of "well-being" it's because you don't feel well enough to care about your well-being. To care more about your well being, you can:

1. Set the intention to feel better
2. Bring love. Even if you have difficulties loving yourself you do have love inside you and you can bring this feeling to the surface by feeling it.
3. Clear the traumas and conditioning
4. Use your willpower by doing a bit of what is difficult to do every day
5. Repeat steps from 1 to 4

Ultimately what you want is love.

[DManKee]

3 hours ago, SQAAD said:

@Preety_India

I wouldn't call someone dumb for any mistake. I would only call someone dumb if they keep making the same mistake over and over again. (Have done that too lol). 

An Ancient Greek philosopher had a saying that basically if you make the same mistake twice you are not wise. 

Of course when you get burned by a mistake you really want to learn from it and avoid repeating it. So it's very normal to rethink what went wrong. 

I've made some pretty stupid mistakes also. You are not alone. You are brave for admitting. The other people aren't a lot smarter than you. They just hide their bs better than you. 

When I read this it made me really sad. I'm really sorry that you've been in abusive relationships. You're probably an extreme empath which is why you stayed for so long in a relationship that didn't serve you. I think this is an amazing quality empathy. Of all the people I've ever met it's the empaths who have had the biggest impact on my life. These people who I've had the incredible luck of meeting have helped me become a kinder, more loving and understanding individual. More than any measure of intelligence it's qualities such as empathy and kindness that I see value in.

Like SQUAAD was saying there is no such thing as intelligence. We are all good at some things and terrible at others (no point moping about it). Know that you are loved by the people in your life for being exactly who you are. You are loved by this community. You've given solid advice and hope to hundreds of people on this forum. You're NOT dumb.

Loads of hugs! ♥️

[mandyjw]

The more thoughts we have about ourselves, the harder it is to see clearly. For example if I'm giving a speech and I'm thinking about how dumb my sweater looks and what others might think of it rather than the topic of my speech, I'm not going to do a good job with the speech. It's not that I'm not intelligent, it's that my focus was on myself rather than where I wanted it to be. We aren't dumb, we just get in our own way. Even wondering whether or not we are inherently intelligent is the same as worrying about the sweater rather than focusing on speaking. It's such a relief to know that you're unconditionally ok. Thoughts about you are never the real you. It's like a murky dark slide put on a projector. You aren't the projection from the light on the wall, you're the pure light that allows the projector to project. That's just how bright you really are. ❤ Thoughts about ourselves that feel bad are the dark slide covering the projector's light. Intelligence and wisdom is so much of an overarching, forgiving, inherently beautiful "thing" than we can ever think of it as, just like you. 

Edited January 17, 2022 by mandyjw

[Preety_India]

3 hours ago, Raphael said:

If you struggle in the department of "well-being" it's because you don't feel well enough to care about your well-being. To care more about your well being, you can:

1. Set the intention to feel better
2. Bring love. Even if you have difficulties loving yourself you do have love inside you and you can bring this feeling to the surface by feeling it.
3. Clear the traumas and conditioning
4. Use your willpower by doing a bit of what is difficult to do every day
5. Repeat steps from 1 to 4

Ultimately what you want is love.

This is so helpful. 

 

[Husseinisdoingfine]

If you want to transform from a foolish person to a wise and smart one, than the solutons are simple:

• Meditate and do yoga
• Read a lot (specifically: philosophy and history)
• Learn a wide varity of science and math
• Pick up smart hobbies (such as art and martial arts)
• Travel and really broaden your mind

All of this is do-able and incredibly enjoyable. And have an intelligent life purpose while you're at it.

Bonus: I can personally attest to you that after reading the Actualized.org reading list, you will be more wise and well off than even a prestige academic.

Edited January 19, 2022 by Husseinisdoingfine
Added the ‘bonus:’