Went back to girls on 2nd approach last night

[Illusory Self]

I was in my head a lot during the night so did not do many approaches. I saw this girl constantly looking at me in the dance floor & just said ‘hi’ she hooked immediately. 
 

after around 5 minutes of dancing, I decided to lead her to a quieter place to sit down so I could build rapport with her. After a few minutes of talking, I started to go for the kiss & we were making it out a lot to the point where the bouncer looked at me asked me stop doing it. 

I said “we should go somewhere more private” then she said ok & her place was nearby so we went over to hers.

here is when the story gets quite messy…. & I felt I did not handle the situation right at all. 
 

while we were at hers things progressively lead to another but unfortunately it would not go in & made her bleed loads. She went to the bathroom for around 10 minutes & after came back into her bedroom, basically just asked me to leave. Like she went completely cold. She said she felt embarrassed, I tried to ask her why you are being like this but to no luck. She basically went the complete other way as if she was a different person, kind of made me feel bad at the time. 
 

What could I of done to of handled a situation like that? I was hoping to meet a girl I could regularly see, I tried going for a her number towards the end. Got it but doubt I will hear back from here. I think she might of been a virgin. Thinking about it I probably should of brought that up at the time, but was in a real state of shock when she just wanted me to leave. 
 

I don’t understand how I even attracted her, I felt the conversations were very logical & non emotional since I am so new to game. I did not really flirt with her. 
 

I do feel quite bad now though, what if she was a virgin & I ruined her first time. Also when we were on the bus to hers, I saw her friends messaging her really angrily because she left them. It was only at 1:30 when we left the club. I am kind of putting blame on myself for ruining her night because she ditched her friends etc… & I still don’t even understand how I pulled, it felt way to easy. I did learn some stuff though I guess. 
 

going to go out tonight also, this time I need to work on more approaches. 2 was not enough & I was in my head a lot. I even get girls giving me such obvious Indicators of interest on the dance floor but still to chicken to say hi a lot of the time I lack good inner game, I was thinking last night it was just reinforcing my lack of a person by not approaching which made me feel bad, kind of like a loop. This was all before the approach though. 
 

I work on the tills at a supermarket & had a convo with every customer before the night for 4 hours, at the supermarket, I got into an amazing state, I was basically making every customer laugh as if things were just magically coming into my mind. After that I went to a Meetup Group for 3 hours & talked to a few people there. I found after around 1 -2 hours of talking to people at the Meetup group, I started to feel very socially drained like I was very burnt out socially. I got a girls number there though & made a few guy friends ( one who went to club with me ). Also after the night I managed to get another girls number who was at the bus stop after I got kicked out. 

I think overall it was a good night but, a part of me feels bad for this girl for her own sake. 
 

so yeah I think that was the whole summary of my Friday

i do need to learn to be more emotional with attractive women, I found it easy to make people laugh after a while at my supermarket but there is more tension with women I find attractive. 
 

even projecting my voice & talking to people feels weird, I’m so used to being in my head & never even project my voice. Don’t even have any guy friends really. 
 

 

 

[Roy]

Maybe she was a virgin, but how were you supposed to know that? I wouldn't blame yourself for her response and wanting for you to leave. She was just extremely embarrassed, shut down, and didn't want to deal with the situation. The only thing it sounds like you did wrong was asking her "why" she was being the way she was, which implies there is something wrong with the way she is feeling. Even if you didn't intend to do that, that's how it comes off. That probably confirmed her decision to ask you to leave.

The proper response to have made her feel safe and given you a chance to let you stay would have been to;

- Give her some physical and emotional space (shut up for a minute lol)

- Let her know it's okay to be embarrassed, assure her you aren't judging her in any way

- Let her feel and express what she's feeling, don't question it

- Take charge of the situation and let her know you're there to help if she needs it (cleaning up/just listening)

Ultimately though if she wanted you to leave, you have to go. With this situation I would do the "nice guy" thing and send her a text sooner than later. Let her know what happened isn't a big deal to you, you've already forgot about it, and would like the chance to see her again.

If she wants to erase the whole thing from her mind though and not see you, I wouldn't hate yourself for it and just move on.

 

[Terell Kirby]

You are doing a great job OP.

I would say don’t let it bother you too much, you were most likely in your head during physical escalation, and the attempt at sex. The reason for you getting rejected, whatever that reason is, doesn’t matter.

Keep making attempts, just like any attempt to master a field..deliberate practice, get the feedback and fine tune your approach. Do this enough times and it’ll will get easier..and you’ll be more out of your head/confident.

[Illusory Self]

45 minutes ago, Roy said:

Maybe she was a virgin, but how were you supposed to know that? I wouldn't blame yourself for her response and wanting for you to leave. She was just extremely embarrassed, shut down, and didn't want to deal with the situation. The only thing it sounds like you did wrong was asking her "why" she was being the way she was, which implies there is something wrong with the way she is feeling. Even if you didn't intend to do that, that's how it comes off. That probably confirmed her decision to ask you to leave.

The proper response to have made her feel safe and given you a chance to let you stay would have been to;

- Give her some physical and emotional space (shut up for a minute lol)

- Let her know it's okay to be embarrassed, assure her you aren't judging her in any way

- Let her feel and express what she's feeling, don't question it

- Take charge of the situation and let her know you're there to help if she needs it (cleaning up/just listening)

Ultimately though if she wanted you to leave, you have to go. With this situation I would do the "nice guy" thing and send her a text sooner than later. Let her know what happened isn't a big deal to you, you've already forgot about it, and would like the chance to see her again.

If she wants to erase the whole thing from her mind though and not see you, I wouldn't hate yourself for it and just move on.

 

Yeah, I know for the future now.  It's hard when you are new to these situations. I did say stuff like "there is nothing to be embarrased about" to reassure her but I don't think it was enough. Yeah I noticed last night I had a problem with leading right, I guess this is all the part of developing yourself into a stronger man. 

[NoSelfSelf]

You sound so down but thats impresive dude you manage to pull a girl and you never did it...and with mind that produces panick attack thats like homeless guy owning a villa all of a sudden ?

[Leo Gura]

You did nothing wrong. Shit like that just happens sometimes. Just bad luck. Don't beat yourself up over it. Move on to next girl.

If a girl is eyeing you in the club, it's pretty much always gonna hook and hook hard. Always approach an eyeing-you girl and expect it to be on fast. She's not eyeing you accidentally.

[mememe]

@Illusory Self yes just make a scratch on your bedsocket tally. no reason to get poetic.

[Thought Art]

Next time, if it doesn't go in don't worry or force it. You can still have a good time with oral, and most of her nerves are on the surface and 3 inches of her vagina. If it doesn't fit, change the game plan and enjoy touching, making out, oral, etc

Was she wet?

Edited January 15, 2022 by Thought Art

[Illusory Self]

6 hours ago, Thought Art said:

Next time, if it doesn't go in don't worry or force it. You can still have a good time with oral, and most of her nerves are on the surface and 3 inches of her vagina. If it doesn't fit, change the game plan and enjoy touching, making out, oral, etc

Was she wet?

Yeah we had a good bit of foreplay. I will keep it in mind for next time, you learn from your mistakes. 

Edited January 16, 2022 by Illusory Self