Parents pulling me back

[teraflu]

Starting that my family is stage blue/orange and I think and interact with stage green, yellow and even turquoise people. I've always read books from higher stages and they don't read at all, they are just involved with their 9-5 jobs for government.

I introduced them with spiritual growth, but they are scientific minded, they are not willing to accept it.

I live on my own far from them, but they still want to influence my decisions. Especially when I decided quit university and seek more spiritual nomad lifestyle. I am into energetic healing and for the past year I have been just quiet around my parents. Because sometimes comparing to my old environment my new lifestyle and thought sounds crazy in front of them. I am afraid to speak up, because they will not accept my true self. In the past I tried to speak with them their own language about scientific facts, but now it triggers me. 

Now this is tricky situation, because they REQUIRE to explain myself what I am doing with my life, but if I start to speak, the gap between me and them becomes even bigger, they see I have changed. They want me to see psychologist, they think I got mad or something (they are separated). 

I clearly see their traumas and I want them to heal. I healed myself from family line trauma, but they are still into it. It hurts for me to see them trapped in their own minds. And it hurts even more that they react very personally to my every single life decision, their happiness depends on it. They want me to continue my old job in bank. But my dream is to heal people and also be hairdresser and I am seeking it very passionately. But I do not have a proof of clients and cashflow yet and it will take time to look stable for them. For me, I already feel stable. 

Do I just leave my parents behind? I want to be with them and spent time, I am really family and 'moms' person (i love my mom very much). But we are from different worlds. I know I cause them stress, because they have never travelled and tried so many things as I did. I do not want my mom to get disease from stress. She has sleepless nights and her skin sometimes looks too pale. And all of it is because of me.

I will also mention that I have a fear to speak up. No problem with same stage people, but I will not open up to anyone who is lower stage. (fear of judgement?)

What do you choose to do with your family when you outgrow them and seriously seek spirituality? Anyone in similar situation?

[Terell Kirby]

28 minutes ago, teraflu said:

I introduced them with spiritual growth, but they are scientific minded, they are not willing to accept it.

This might be hard to hear, but you need to begin to take seriously the chance that your parents will never accept your worldview/belief system.

This does not mean you can't love them.

Your desire to get their validation is what is truly holding you back.

[puporing]

I have been/am in a similar situation. I had to let go of the idea of a close or supportive relationship, or getting approval from them.. You can still love them and have compassion for them, but you would be disappointed at trying to change them or make them see things the way you do. They may or may not in the future, but be detached to it and continue to pursue what's important to you regardless. This can feel like eating glass in the beginning, but it will get better and you will be glad to have stuck to what's important to you. 

On a practical level...you will probably have to talk to them to set boundaries. Like being explicit about you have different values and that you do not want to share everything going on with you now, that you need space, etc. I know it's hard if you have authoritarian or controlling parents. But they have to back off... I hope you can find an ally and/or the inner strength to confront them on this.

Edited January 14, 2022 by puporing

[StarStruck]

Perhaps you shouldn't expect them to understand you. It is not because they don't want to, they aren't capable. You have to show them you are happy, that is the most important thing you can show them. If they can sense you have no boundaries they will try to trespass your boundaries and try to control you.

[Snader]

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