Not Doing Anything For A Kid If He Lose Himself

[Raphael]

Back when I was a kid I was on the bicycle accompanied by my dad who was behind on his motorcycle when I took another road than expected. After maybe 10 minutes I got home successfully. After another 10 minutes, my dad got back home too. He was angry and afraid at the same time and told me that if I ever lose myself he would not do anything for me.

What could be the reason why a parent would say something like this to his kid? And what would be the impact on the kid?

So far I have difficulties finding the reason, however, when it comes to the psychological impact I'm thinking about:

• Feeling of abandonment
• Distrust of my dad and other adults
• Feeling of unsafety
• Feeling of rejection
• Distrust of masculinity
• Feeling of being alone to face the challenges of life

[SamC]

Sounds like his way of trying to ensure that you wouldn't do it again... ( go another way)  eventhough it just created more problems and fear. Are you also afraid of people that are close to you dying?@Raphael

 

Edited January 13, 2022 by SamC

[Nahm]

18 hours ago, Raphael said:

What could be the reason why a parent would say something like this to his kid? So far I have difficulties finding the reason

“He was angry and afraid”.

18 hours ago, Raphael said:

, however, when it comes to the psychological impact I'm thinking about:

Feeling of abandonment

Distrust of my dad and other adults

Feeling of unsafety

Feeling of rejection

Distrust of masculinity

Feeling of being alone to face the challenges of life

18 hours ago, Raphael said:

 

With these interpretations, you will be too. Can’t resent enough to make him happy. 

[Raphael]

21 hours ago, SamC said:

Sounds like his way of trying to ensure that you wouldn't do it again... ( go another way)  eventhough it just created more problems and fear

It also felt like a controlling behavior for me.

21 hours ago, SamC said:

Are you also afraid of people that are close to you dying?@Raphael

I'm not abnormally afraid of people close to me dying even though I would be sad if it happen.

4 hours ago, Nahm said:

With these interpretations, you will be too. Can’t resent enough to make him happy. 

I'm aware of it and I'm doing some progress.

[Nahm]

@Raphael

Hopefully not saying too much here, but have you considered he was just angry and spoke from anger, and it’s that simple… and it has nothing to do with you, and there’s nothing to work on? 

[flume]

4 hours ago, Nahm said:

Hopefully not saying too much here, but have you considered he was just angry and spoke from anger, and it’s that simple… and it has nothing to do with you, and there’s nothing to work on? 

That's probably true. The problem is that we don't have this kind of awareness as children and all we hear is "I loose support when I go my own way." Children can't put things into perspective yet and they unfortunately always make themselves wrong. 

[Nahm]

@flume

Well I’ve learned two things today, there are children on this forum, and kinds of awareness. 

[Raphael]

@Nahm Yes and I agree with you @flume too as emotions got stuck in the body and need to be understood, unblocked, processed, and released.