How do I become a gentleman ??

[Vivaldo]

I am really curious about those people  who are complete gentlemen. Women love them, men respect them.

It's the perfect way to live in the outside world in my opinion. 

Can you people please tell some points I can integrate In my life to become a complete gentleman?

Edited January 13, 2022 by Vivaldo

[Vivaldo]

It's my opinion and observation not conclusion ?

[somegirl]

4 hours ago, Vivaldo said:

Can you people please tell some points I can integrate In my life to become a complete gentleman?

As a gentleman, your number one priority should be to make a girl comfortable and safe around you.

Help her put on her jacket/coat, pull a chair out for a girl if you're inside (restaurant, coffee shop etc.), if you guys are outside put your jacket on her shoulders to keep her warm. Or if you're sitting somewhere outside, on a cold, hard surface for example, put your jacket beneath her so it's comfortable for her to sit (I remember one time a guy did that to me and I was absolutely impressed.) Don't ask her intimate questions or questions abour her relationship past or her age and don't talk about sex on a first date. Be attuned with her emotions and if you notice something is making her uncomfortable, stop and change a topic. 

 After a date/meet-up, ask her if she got home safely. Don't leave her hanging.

Treat her like a lady and you will become a gentleman.

Edited January 13, 2022 by somegirl

[puporing]

Being respectful is a good trait when it comes to general interactions.., but I think with intimacy it totally depends on the woman, she might think that's what she loves due to moral conditioning but... deep down she might want someone who is able to make her feel all sorts of emotions. Just my take

[MarkKol]

check out gentlemans gazette on YT

don't start caring about aesthetics, approval, respect & luxury too much. 

[Preety_India]

Being responsible, brave, respectful and appropriate at all times. 

 

[Yarco]

Being a real gentleman vs a creepy white knight is a thin line to walk.

Don't ever think women owe you anything just because you're being gentlemanly. 

Being a gentleman isn't just about being nice and romantic to women. A real gentleman is a bro to other guys as well.

It's about being empathetic, considerate, and in-touch with all those around you. It's knowing when to offer a stranger a lighter, a coworker a ride home, or a classmate a pencil without them even having to ask.

Before you can be a gentleman, first you have to be a man. Someone with the mindset of a boy can't be a gentleman. I think Art of Manliness' old stuff is a good place to start. You need the confidence of a man to be a gentleman, and that comes with having a wide array of manly knowledge and skills.

[Terell Kirby]

9 hours ago, Vivaldo said:

Can you people please tell some points I can integrate In my life to become a complete gentleman?

Not being a creepy or needy with women goes a long way.

[PurpleTree]

you open the door for women

you don't take advantage of women who're completely wasted and don't know what they're doing

*tadaaaa gentleman*

[Vivaldo]

@Terell Kirby @somegirl amazing ? 

Tysm 

 

[Vivaldo]

@Yarco @PurpleTree and always pay the bills ? and pull the chair.....

Ok I understand.... But should I share my feelings with her or stay firm and not express much about me to her?

[Yarco]

6 hours ago, Vivaldo said:

@Yarco @PurpleTree and always pay the bills ? and pull the chair.....

Ok I understand.... But should I share my feelings with her or stay firm and not express much about me to her?

You have to evaluate it on a case-by-case basis. If it was as easy as just "share feelings" or "stay firm" all the time, it would be easy and there wouldn't be a huge pickup/dating scene. Once you're a true gentleman you'll be socially aware enough to know when to open up or not.

Generally though, the earlier on when meeting someone, the less you want to share. Oversharing tends to scare people off. But if you were a super confident gentleman, you could also be completely authentic without scaring someone off. So there is no cookie-cutter answer.

[integral]

Develop empathy and understanding, the gentle men is derived from that. Its not an act. 

[Gianna]

9 hours ago, Vivaldo said:

Can you people please tell some points I can integrate In my life to become a complete gentleman?

Develop objective perspective. Meaning you take the other's perspective completly as a part of your own (their experiences, pov, understanding, consciousness level, etc.) Now their perspective is also your perspective. Now you have two perspectives– yours and theirs. Any decision made after this expanded perspective will be gentleman-like. Especially when you integrate qualities of the devine masculine within it (protection, decisiveness, action, etc.) 

[NoSelfSelf]

Becoming something for others to get something from them is never a good idea, its like nice guys trying to be nice to get approval and likes from others..it comes from a weak mindset and frame...to become something of value you do it for self and to bring value to others just because and not to survive better with people just a causion to not go overboard its a balance you cant use just one tactic...

[museumoftrees]

On 1/13/2022 at 11:57 AM, Vivaldo said:

I am really curious about those people  who are complete gentlemen. Women love them, men respect them.

It's the perfect way to live in the outside world in my opinion. 

Can you people please tell some points I can integrate In my life to become a complete gentleman?

That's a movie-like perception of the dating and social scene

[Butters]

Forget about this holding the door open shit, especially if you're a young guy it just make you look goofy. 

Mainly my advice would be to create a life for yourself that you love and respect. With that and some self-love and confidence in your own abilities, you'll emit a type of swagger or confidence that implies the rest. 

Aim for something in between Ice Cube and Barack Obama. 

Don't take yourself too seriously but take your work and life purpose seriously. 

Have very clear personal boundaries. 

Be the king of your empire. 

Be a fucking gangster. 

Good luck

[Raze]

Don’t. If you just imitate behaviors of what you think is good it comes off as robotic and has other downsides. Your focus should be on expressing who you really are and your gentlemanlyiness should naturally flow from that.

[Nahm]

On 1/13/2022 at 11:57 AM, Vivaldo said:

Can you people please tell some points I can integrate In my life to become a complete gentleman?

The truth is you already are, and you feel every itsy-bitsy discordant thought, behavior and action to the contrary.