Is personal development just the next hamster wheel?

[Federico del pueblo]

I've been wondering this because since I know that self help and personal development exist I have definitely achieved great improvements for myself but I'm also realising that at the same time I have simply raised my standards for what is good enough and when I'm achieving etc.

So basically when before self help I would have been ok with slightly above average results, now, because I have all this knowledge I need exceptional results.

Earlier I probably would have been ok with a cute girlfriend, now the girls must be amazing.

Earlier I would have been ok with a normal job, now I'm gonna "have to" become a successful entrepreneur or something like that.

Earlier I would have been ok with a reasonable level of confidence, now I'm striving for James Bond level confidence, and so on and so forth...

 

From what I've heard spirituality is what's supposed to help you solve this problem, but even here I'm wondering if I'm not just gonna be chasing more awakenings and still deeper awakenings and enlightenment etc.

So what's your take on all of this?

 

[vizual]

You are on a hamster wheel regardless, might as well pick the best one, right?

[Federico del pueblo]

17 minutes ago, vizual said:

You are on a hamster wheel regardless, might as well pick the best one, right?

Which one is the best one, in your opinion?

[Space Lizard]

@Federico del pueblo Yes, I have a similar perspective. This kind of spirituality, that emphasizes becoming, progress, "harder, better, faster, stronger" is part of the pathology of this age. It fits well with the ethos of neoliberalism so it is encouraged by the powers that be. The idea of just being, that you are already fine, is almost heretical--like being content with not owning a Mercedes or not getting plastic surgery or whatever. For me higher consciousness includes becoming aware of this "hamster wheel" mentality, and not buying into it (literally, in many cases).

Edited January 11, 2022 by Space Lizard

[Asayake]

I've thought the same thing but what's the alternative? To become weaker, dumber, fatter, more alone. I wish those things wouldn't bring me suffering but they would...

[Emrie]

I think you're probably realizing some of the limits of Stage Orange there, actually.

From your post, I get the impression that you're finding material success not really all that meaningful. This is great news because you're realizing that a "Stage Orange All The Way" isn't going to make you happy and fulfilled in the long run, you're moving up the spiral. Perhaps cultivating deeper relationships with others, and growing yourself spiritually will feel more fulfilling to you.

Maybe I'm completely wrong about where you're coming from.

[Federico del pueblo]

4 minutes ago, Asayake said:

I've thought the same thing but what's the alternative? To become weaker, dumber, fatter, more alone. I wish those things wouldn't bring me suffering but they would...

Yeah that's no alternative for sure.

Maybe what I still need to learn is how to strive in an unattached way. Because in a sense this is all still just a comparison game, just that now I compare myself to some standard that exists in my mind. 

[Roy]

6 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

So what's your take on all of this?

After all the personal development stuff I've read, heard, and seen - it feels like the core message of it is to not take your life for granted. Most people find a comfortable place for themselves and coast through their entire lives, until they die.

Look, you don't need to become the next Steve Jobs. Realize it's ultimately only you who sets expectations and goals for yourself. Nobody else. Stop listening to what everyone else is telling you and find out what you really want.

I've always wanted to use this quote because it's vulgar but true at the same time lol;

"You see there's leaders, and there's followers. But I'd rather be a dick than a swallower." - Kanye

[Federico del pueblo]

2 minutes ago, Emrie said:

I get the impression that you're finding material success not really all that meaningful. This is great news because you're realizing that a "Stage Orange All The Way" isn't going to make you happy and fulfilled in the long run, you're moving up the spiral.

Actually it's precisely the stage orange goals I have that still make me feel what I described in my first post.

So if I didn't care about any of these stage orange things I'd probably be liberated from these feelings, but it wouldn't feel true to myself and to where I'm at in life right now.

 

[Thunder Kiss]

I feel like everyone’s into personal development now.  It’s trendy.  Personal development used to be for people 30+ Who had exhausted their party years and ready to settle down and do some soul searching. now 12 year olds are doing personal development and I’m over hearing conversations on public transport about how he/she/they are into personal development and working on themselves. it’s the new normal. Everyone feels like they need to ‘be somebody’ to prove something.  I know it’s always been that way but just seems like it’s going to an extreme now with social media etc. and to some degree it’s nice that people have all this information now and want to be the best version of themselves, but then to some degree it’s also making people more neurotic and creating more perfectionism. Perfectionism will never bring you to peace. I wonder what’s next. 

 

[Yarco]

You need personal development to get to a certain point in life where you have the basics handled. Past that, be careful not to fall into the trap of perfectionism. Your intuition is right that you can spend a lifetime trying to optimize everything. It's very easy to make big gains in the beginning, but you quickly hit a point of diminishing returns. 

Set a point where things are "good enough" and try to be at peace and content once you reach it, then you can move on to improving some other area of life 

Edited January 12, 2022 by Yarco

[Brittany]

Personal development is a hamster wheel if your end result is:

- becoming whole

- becoming loved

- becoming worthy

- having more value

You ALREADY are whole, loved, and worthy.

And your value doesn't increase or decrease with what you do. 

Achieving things doesn't increase your worthiness, value or lovability. Those things were innate since the day you were born.

[Leo Gura]

Yes, it's a hamster wheel, but at least in this case you're investing in your life and creating something personally meaningful. Of course this is not some ultimate solution to life, but it's way better than what most people are doing -- which is pissing their life away.

The ultimate solution is found within spirituality by discovering BEING and learning to bask in it via something like Satisfaction Meditation (see video).

BEING is the end of the road.

[Epikur]

Self improvement can also mean to find out when it is enough. Then to do the exercises to accept it.

[Kksd74628]

Like Leo itself said "BEING is the end of the road." I would add that think about why would you do anything and the reason after you contemplate enough would be to be happy and have fun and that's the reason. Do things for the sake of it being fun for you. If you have never thought about it only reason you do self-help right now is that you want to build more fun out of life. You make business or learn to interact with people with ease only so everything would be as smooth as possible. 

If you have played video games like most of us have then think about the reason you play the game and progress in it. The reason is that the gameplay is fun afterall. After you have completed the game you move on to another and so on. Point is that trying to improve yourself is just another game you can play, but it is different by the way it is more challenging and that's why you get more pleausure Playing this.

Best joy that can possibly be is that you can just sit down and be in peace knowing that there is nothing that you need to do right now except to be. That's the reason you work all your demons, karmas and other self-help things that you can relax.

I would call that an answer. Thank you for reading it. Love you <3

[Federico del pueblo]

4 hours ago, Kksd74628 said:

I would call that an answer. Thank you for reading it. Love you <3

That absolutely was an answer. Thanks for writing it! ♥️

[Federico del pueblo]

13 hours ago, Brittany said:

Personal development is a hamster wheel if your end result is:

- becoming whole

- becoming loved

- becoming worthy

- having more value

You ALREADY are whole, loved, and worthy.

And your value doesn't increase or decrease with what you do. 

Achieving things doesn't increase your worthiness, value or lovability. Those things were innate since the day you were born.

This one here is a bit tricky though.

I agree that this is how you "should" view things, though all the outside world basically tells you the opposite, so you have to establish these beliefs against the resistance of society.

Because for an employer my value is whichever job related qualities I have, for girls my value is all kinds of things that make me attractive, for others my value is my knowledge and so on.

Getting to that point where you feel like you always just have some innate value independently of what I can offer to others is a challenge (for me at least).

[ZenSwift]

@Leo Gura

How much time do you bask in Being during the day? 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, ZenSwift said:

@Leo Gura

How much time do you bask in Being during the day? 

Varies greatly depending on how busy I am with survival and business.

[blessedlion1993]

On 1/11/2022 at 7:33 AM, Federico del pueblo said:

Earlier I probably would have been ok with a cute girlfriend, now the girls must be amazing.

Earlier I would have been ok with a normal job, now I'm gonna "have to" become a successful entrepreneur or something like that.

Earlier I would have been ok with a reasonable level of confidence, now I'm striving for James Bond level confidence, and so on and so forth...

And the problem here is.... ?

Do you want to go back to being mediocre? Would you really rather have that been how your life turns out?

It would eat away at you regardless of personal development knowledge. Fuck that, get the amazing looking girl, become a successful entrepreneur and rock that James Bond confidence with full cock and balls in hand. 

Personal Development makes it fun to have something to work for, a vision of your highest self. Wtf else is there to do? Go to your normal job with your reasonable confidence and ugly girlfriend, shoot me. Stop limiting yourself