Journal

[MovForward]

i believe guys will gang up on me and hurt me if i start talking to girls and start hooking up

[MovForward]

i believe guys will gang up on me and hurt me if i start talking to girls and start hooking up

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all those times i made people uncomfortable by being around and making people dislike me

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looking for social p but when i got it its just another p its not going to change my life 

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it's almost like fucking a chick you jam it in and you pull it out

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been taught i should hate myself to the point kill myself by my parents

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i actually want to socialize and not hu

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today i felt that i can start it today watch one or two videos and continue it tomorrow like LP courses

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used to bel that opening a can of bottle with teeth may make my teeth fall but now its d/nt

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i might actually be able to heal this if cancer can be cured why not this

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the day i said i'll reach out

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becoming desensitized to hot girls its actually depressing now

i'll help me in the future but now i feel like i dont see the beauty in nature

[MovForward]

cause you don't feel like you are enough on the inside you look for outside things to fulfill you

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i dont feel strong or competent in this state or that i would be able to handle things

i think thats when my life will truly begins

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i wonder if the constant need to check social web will go away

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doing nofap 7 day 

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will be reporting on my productivity 

before:

want to sleep all day on bed and think about doing stuff or starting a lesson that will change me or make progress for me

won't work on python project

or start documentation

or lpmath or  

or journal my day to improve writing and communication

 

 

After:

[MovForward]

these is this part of my psyche that makes people not approach me or talk to me

even in f may be its the way i express myself

words convey a lot of if you are open to a discussion and even in an argument most arguments aren't about changing other people mind its about expressing their views

[MovForward]

i'm tired of being hated 

i'm tired of being the cause of all my problems

i'm tired of feeling disconnected from people and everything and in life

[MovForward]

how comfortable do i feel in my body?

well my fears has decreased and belief that most people have good intentions 

i feel that hot who dress well reject me by how i dress or i believe that they think they are better than me

i'm lonely and i want to connect with other people 

i'm worried about my future cause i don't have above 3 gpa and to get that gpa i would need to get 3.8 gpa on two semister and both semister have math class and which i have gotten D before