Journal

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why does the world fucking hate me?

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l'm quick to anger and i still don't understand why people behave the way that they do?

like why did leo gura not resond to the thread i created about asking how to articulate thoughts like it is so easy 

"do this and this and if you do this you will improve in this amount of time and this is how i did it"

isn't that easy i'm confused about people's behavior why they do certain things

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i feel alone and weak

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realised i'm less reactive to pranks

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philosophy if a guy lived his life in the proper way going to college and meet 2 or 3 girls and spent working and making money 

and then having children and a stable home and then lived life till his 80s

but a guy increases his consciousness and his bad habits and beliefs and lived life till he was 29 

which one lived the good life?

well the cause of this question is fear but what fear fear of what?

comparing ourselves to others  subconscious or we have been told that most humans can live up to 80 years old and we want to achieve that goal

 

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fear of cofn cause i believe i will l

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i actually understand how others feel 

i saw a guy that looks good and i immediately assumed that does he think he is better than me 

it was fucked up and he didn't do nothing

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god taking responsibility for your life is hard

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you have to activate your will to fight if someone disrespects you or tests you 

thats when you will be tested

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simply funny comment

 

This man breathing so hard it's interrupting my own breathing cycle. I almost choked.

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how detached do you have to be successful?

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i'm not interested in watching movies anymore 

i'm more interested in social situations like friends, outsourced and funniness and positiveness

and group dynamics how people work together, after a fight and they still come together or is that only in movies 

i dont even know i don't socialize much

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what happens or what generally happens when people don't get tested by other people anymore or try to take their stuff?

or is that just an imagination of me a story i made up in my mind

 

i also want to understand people hate or how not to be hated and accepted by others

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isn't it weird how the mind is wired other people feel happy when people sing happy birth day to them and

i think if people did that to me i would feel anxiety

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my thought process right now

why finish watching supernatural or watch the witcher what is the point? i dont even enjoy it

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i told someone that i thought they look competent

and said they its cause her parents showed around and went around with

an inability to agree with a simple point yeah simply saying yeah 

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stage red heavy resistance

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i want all my fears to go away

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it seems that i am not getting what i want in life

a forum where i asked for a course needs me to be active

someone i asked for document ghosted me and stopped responding

well it seems that you need to build rapport to ask people to do something for you most people aren't willing to help a classmate or someone they have met a couple of times they simply don't care

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the more i work on myself the more i see that people are so hungry for power, money ,sex and that most people are comparing themselves to others

and looking for outside solutions for inside problems