Stuck in mental loop against productivity

[zenviolet]

So, I have a real issue with creating positive change in my life because I react poorly to any sort of pressure or judgment. Basically in my head it goes like this:

“You should (insert non-habitual activity here, exercise, dance, paint, write a story, learn a skill).”

I don’t do it because I don’t feel any sort of motivation to do it. I feel guilty for not doing the thing. I loathe the side of me that doesn’t want to do it. The side of me that doesn’t want to do it loathes the side of me that’s putting pressure on it. Rinse and repeat.

How do I fix this? Any attempt at “forcing” myself creates an equal and opposite reaction. The harder I try to force myself, the more I balk at the pressure. So the side that doesn’t want me to do the thing wins most often and the side that does want me to do the things hates me (itself).

[hyruga]

There's a book called The Productivity Project which will help you to reduce procrastination and become productive.

Edited January 9, 2022 by hyruga

[Michal__]

Read atomic habits. And contemplate which goals are the most important for you.

[flowboy]

@zenviolet  First you need to resolve the hatred, self loathing and guilt.

After that, doing positive things for yourself becomes easy and natural.

If you feel zero motivation to do a new positive habit, it's because either:

1. It's not authentic. You read it on a blog / book, and now you are using it to 'should' yourself, but it doesn't fit you and you need to choose an alternative practice that you actually like more, that accomplishes the same outcome.
2. You are not motivated, even though you know it's really the right thing, because you don't feel a lot of love for yourself.
   Ever notice how loving someone make you want to take care of them?
   Well, same goes for loving yourself. Makes you want to take care of yourself.
   If you're not feeling self-love, you don't have motivation to do positive things for yourself, and "should"ing and forcing don't work long term.
    

[itachi uchiha]

u should love doing it.i have a rule that if i cannot lovin doing my art  , i will not do it. this act of doing everything with love is totally possible. u should contemplate on doing everything with love for 3 min a day. in  2 or 3 or 4 years u will have the ability to love  doing everything. but u neeed to contemplate 3 min a day everyday to love what u do or contemplate 3 min everyday on the book mastery by george leonard. today i can do everything with happiness and joy. i am no longer stressed

[Vincent S]

@zenviolet Thanks for posting this. Kinda there myself. 
 

4 hours ago, flowboy said:

@zenviolet  First you need to resolve the hatred, self loathing and guilt.

After that, doing positive things for yourself becomes easy and natural.

If you feel zero motivation to do a new positive habit, it's because either:

1. It's not authentic. You read it on a blog / book, and now you are using it to 'should' yourself, but it doesn't fit you and you need to choose an alternative practice that you actually like more, that accomplishes the same outcome.
2. You are not motivated, even though you know it's really the right thing, because you don't feel a lot of love for yourself.
   Ever notice how loving someone make you want to take care of them?
   Well, same goes for loving yourself. Makes you want to take care of yourself.
   If you're not feeling self-love, you don't have motivation to do positive things for yourself, and "should"ing and forcing don't work long term.
    

Thanks ?? ?

[RedLine]

-forgive yourself, for not be perfectly aline with your goals, nobody is perfect, it is ok

-relax the thinking about duties and goals, you already know what your goals are, you don´t need to think about it all the time

-just take action; and if you don´t take action don´t think about taking action, do it or don´t do it but don´t create stories in you mind about that

Edited January 10, 2022 by RedLine

[Bogdan]

 i relate to this. For me it took several years. Although it's an ongoing journey, i feel like the hardest part is the beginning, when you're not used to how things work.

In the beginning, about 8-9 years ago, i read Eckhart Tolle for the first time and i had a strong intuition that this was really important. I sort of made up my mind right there and then that i will understand this stuff COMPLETELY. 

Since then, life has been throwing me around in so many directions,  it often seemed random and chaotic.

But what i would say that i did right, was keeping this curiosity and that commitment to fully understanding this "problem" of life.

The most value for me was studying a shit ton of spiritual teachers and masters, different perspectives, as well as basic self-help and contemplating, visualizing, psihedelics, all the good stuff.

Basically all the stuff Leo recommends. Actualized.org basically is an awesome catalog of all the stuff you need to live the good life. And if you follow it properly, you will develop your own strong, successful, charismatic, intuitive, wise, loving self.

It just takes more time than you think, and it's harder than you think. Once you understand and accept that, and fully commit to the journey, it becomes 50% easier, and infinitely more enjoyable. Which also comes slowly, over time  

Good luck! 

Edited January 11, 2022 by Bogdan