I want to get a book thatll help me understand women better

[pfletcha]

Nothing that centers around pickup or dating methodology , not just yet...think something more along the lines from "women are from Venus ..." , But even more technical and deep . And modern. Also the authors gender could be an important factor..my intuition tells me it would be more effective from a male perspective, at least for me.

My hope is that the more I can learn, the more I could channel all the resentment and bitterness that's built through the years into something more akin to love and understanding!!!

 

Edited January 8, 2022 by pfletcha

[flume]

David Deidas books are great!

[Lyubov]

the man's guide to a woman by john gottman is really good. this is a very practical book and I actually found applying the information in this book very easy to do and very helpful in life.

way of the superior man by david deida is really good for getting one interesting perspective on the masculine/feminine but it’s kind esoteric and airy fairy. I don’t necessarily agree with how he conceptualizes everything but it’s a great book for understanding women to a degree. I’ve read it twice now. It’s more for understanding your masculine side.

Edited January 9, 2022 by Lyubov

[Raze]

The Man's Guide to Women by John Gottman

[AlterEgo]

There's an updated version of Mars and Venus 

Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Today's Complex World

[museumoftrees]

I find that most books only cover a fraction of the whole picture. Try reading 5-10 books that center around dating and you will only get half the picture right. But absolutely do that. You can get them on Leo' book list. Books like the selfish gene can also help, you know. Books that cover evolutionary psychology and principles and such.

Listen to Leo's videos on how to get laid and also listen to the videos on survival. Dating is a surviving activity. Get involved with contemplating and understanding survival on a deeper level.

Also, stay away from redpilled YT channels.

Also, read this blog : https://mikemehlman.net/

Ultimately, it will be hard for you to not understand women partially unless you incorporate all these sources of information into your model and more.

[pfletcha]

5 hours ago, museumoftrees said:

I find that most books only cover a fraction of the whole picture. Try reading 5-10 books that center around dating and you will only get half the picture right. But absolutely do that. You can get them on Leo' book list. Books like the selfish gene can also help, you know. Books that cover evolutionary psychology and principles and such.

Listen to Leo's videos on how to get laid and also listen to the videos on survival. Dating is a surviving activity. Get involved with contemplating and understanding survival on a deeper level.

Also, stay away from redpilled YT channels.

Also, read this blog : https://mikemehlman.net/

Ultimately, it will be hard for you to not understand women partially unless you incorporate all these sources of information into your model and more.

Thanks, thats a lot of useful info I'd say ...yeah I already read roughly half of the first book that guy suggested above you ...still doesn't address a lot of the struggles I deal with ...here's a good example 

 

This scene was absolutely gut wrenching the first time I saw it ...this fucking inability to differentiate between feigned and genuine interest .

Even worse is trying to tell if theyre super excited and happy talking to me because theyre attracted, or just excited to meet a new like-minded friend . And in the end there is no way to really gauge what I did to fuck up , or if it was even my fault to begin with, etc ...

 

 

 

 

Edited January 10, 2022 by pfletcha

[Roy]

A lower investment way of understanding (and getting better) with women without having to buy a book, is dating apps.

You don't even have to meet anybody, just practice talking to them and see what sticks. Study their reactions.

[Hardkill]

There is this book called The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature by Matt Ridley. I haven’t read it, but I’ve heard that it is a good book to read on why women are wired the way they are from a scientific evolutionary perspective.

There’s also Rollo Tomassi’s book called The Rational Male which discusses in depth the sexual market value of both men and women. I haven’t read that one either, but it’s been pretty popular within the Manosphere.

[Nightwise]

On 8-1-2022 at 8:24 PM, flume said:

David Deidas books are great!

I was about to say. The odds literally just so happen to be that I'm literally at this point reading "Dear Lover" from David Deida, which is basically a guide for women how to relate to men and their feminine sexuality. Even though I'm a man, I enjoy learning from different perspectives than my own. "The way of the superior man", which i've also read, is just the opposite; That is a book for men about how to relate to women and a man's sexual essence.

But in essence, if you really want to understand women to the fullest degree, it means you need to become more familiar with your own feminine side, your own 'inner woman'. This may be a pretty radical suggestion here, but you may even experiment with becoming submissive in the bedroom or in an intimate relationship to understand the feminine point of view to its fullest degree, if you can stomach it.

I'm not saying I'm above any of this, though. There's still a lot I have to learn to with relating to women. I lack a lot in experience, but I would say I have a fairly decent (but still limited) intellectual framework regarding this topic, because I've studied it quite a lot. Experience is key though, i know that. So I need to go out and have a lot more experience.

Edited January 10, 2022 by Nightwise

[pfletcha]

most of my humor and way i express myself seems to go over the majority of the ladies' heads...or they get offended..or both. not sure how much to compromise myself , meet everyone in the middle (mental note: I refuse to compromise myself!)

Edited January 13, 2022 by pfletcha

[Tudo]

On 08/01/2022 at 6:06 PM, Lyubov said:

the man's guide to a woman by john gottman is really good. this is a very practical book and I actually found applying the information in this book very easy to do and very helpful in life.

way of the superior man by david deida is really good for getting one interesting perspective on the masculine/feminine but it’s kind esoteric and airy fairy. I don’t necessarily agree with how he conceptualizes everything but it’s a great book for understanding women to a degree. I’ve read it twice now. It’s more for understanding your masculine side.

Deida's touched me so deeply that I think I think I agree with everything he says tbh.

Kind of weird that a man's work can have so much effect on another man's life.

Edited January 19, 2022 by Tudo

[Lyubov]

42 minutes ago, Tudo said:

Deida's touched me so deeply that I think I think I agree with everything he says tbh.

Kind of weird that a man's work can have so much effect on another man's life.

I actually kinda at one point felt the same. I’ve gotten a ton of experience since then, life changing amounts. His book just doesn’t resonate with me as much as it used his. I’ve actually read his main book twice and then his other shorter version of it 2/3 times. It’s must read material for sure, I just find it not in the words I’d like it to be in or as in alignment with my current path. I’m sure I’ll read it a third time in some years from now to see if there is anything else I can get from it at a different stage. 

One poster said getting in touch with your own feminine. This is actually a really good idea. I’m kinda in the midst of doing this myself and learning A TON. I’ve come to realize that a long term relationship with two developed people is going to have both people bouncing back and forth and playing a masculine or feminine role at times. Usually the center of gravity of the original dynamic stays the same though.