Game whithout premarital sex.

[Anders Saether]

Hi, first of all, I don’t hold any jugdement on those who choose to have sex before marraige. I’m simply saying, it doesn’t work for me. For me sex is too intimate to be had casualy and without devolping a strong bond with the person I’m having sex with, that’s how it is for me personally. That said, I still want to persue women in order to find the one that’s right for me, who I can marry and form a happy family with. So I’m curious if someone here is in the same straits, persuing women for marraige. Having persued women in a sexual way before, how do I now game without prospects of premarital sex? Some good advice on this would be helpful. 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiFMNOeczfM

[Anders Saether]

Thanks for the Video @Raze

Interesting video. Luckily/Unluckily my values are kind of inbetween somewhere being liberal and conservative. There no issue for me valuewise, going up to a woman starting a converstaion with her, giving her non-sexual compliments, telling jokes, giving hugs, holding hands etc, stuff I can do with any close friend of mine.  Though kisses and sex, are too intemate for me to be done outside of a holy promise to be together…yes forever. 

So i can definatly bring a lot to the table to many women and many women are definatly still interested in getting married. My question spesifically is what I can do that will make them feel that marraige is worth the wait, without resorting to sex and kisses. 
 

So what can be done with that? 

[Leo Gura]

It's a silly idea.

Just go have sex. A strong bond is developed over time and sex is a crucial part of that development process.

You need to look at the brainwashing you received which is sourcing your resistance to sex. Because it is brainwashing. You didn't come up with that idea by yourself. Someone lodged it into your mind and now you're running that mind virus. It's going to kill your results with girls and your ability to find a quality partner. No girl worth dating these days is gonna wait until marriage to have sex with you. She will just move on to a guy who knows how to fuck her properly.

Quality sex requires experience and training. It's gonna be very lame for you to dating girls who have way more sexual experience than you. And dating a girl with zero sexual experience is nothing good either.

The bottom line is that you want lots of experience, you have none right now, and your strategy is to keep your experience at zero. This is not a smart strategy.

If you don't fuck a girl within a few weeks of dating her, she's just gonna lose interest and leave you. You will actually deeply disappoint her because she will think, "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't we want me?" Eventually she's figure out that you're not man enough to fuck her and she will lose all attraction for you. A girl gives you a relatively short window of time to close her. If you hesitate to pull the trigger, the window will close and you will lose the girl. She wants a man who's clear about what he wants, and clear that he wants her, and willing to act boldly to take her.

It's actually healthy for you to stop putting sex up on a pedestal. Sex can be special but it doesn't have to be and shouldn't always be. If you treat it as something so special you will actually become way too needy and it will become dysfunctional.

Sex doesn't start off very special. It becomes special as you have it more and more with the same girl.

[Hardkill]

39 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It's a silly idea.

Just go have sex. A strong bond is developed over time and sex is a crucial part of that development process.

You need to look at the brainwashing you received which is sourcing your resistance to sex. Because it is brainwashing. You didn't come up with that idea by yourself. Someone lodged it into your mind and now you're running that mind virus. It's going to kill your results with girls and your ability to find a quality partner. No girl worth dating these days is gonna wait until marriage to have sex with you. She will just move on to a guy who knows how to fuck her properly.

Quality sex requires experience and training. It's gonna be very lame for you to dating girls who have way more sexual experience than you. And dating a girl with zero sexual experience is nothing good either.

The bottom line is that you want lots of experience, you have none right now, and your strategy is to keep your experience at zero. This is not a smart strategy.

If you don't fuck a girl within a few weeks of dating her, she's just gonna lose interest and leave you. You will actually deeply disappoint her because she will think, "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't we want me?" Eventually she's figure out that you're not man enough to fuck her and she will lose all attraction for you. A girl gives you a relatively short window of time to close her. If you hesitate to pull the trigger, the window will close and you will lose the girl. She wants a man who's clear about what he wants, and clear that he wants her, and willing to act boldly to take her.

It's actually healthy for you to stop putting sex up on a pedestal. Sex can be special but it doesn't have to be and shouldn't always be. If you treat it as something so special you will actually become way too needy and it will become dysfunctional.

Sex doesn't start off very special. It becomes special as you have it more and more with the same girl.

So, you don’t believe that the sacred religious tradition of “waiting until marriage” or “abstaining from sex until you find the right one” has any merit to it?

Edited January 8, 2022 by Hardkill

[Lyubov]

When you are just meeting a woman keep your frame about “no strings attached” sex. No need to look at sex as if it’s so sacred you can’t engage in it with a woman you haven’t married . There is so much for you to learn. What you are wanting is just incredibly impractical today. No one has time for this. 
 

Getting really good in bed is actually more important IMO than technical game / pick up. You can reach “intermediate” level in pick up and do better than most of these so called “advanced” guys if you have also consciously started walking the path towards sex god statues. Women can feel when you are incredible in bed. Super intimate sex and relationship surfaces all sorts of stored traumas and can be incredibly healing if you work with a partner through them. It’s why finding a ling term partner to get good in bed with is crucial to become a sex god. One super deep long term sexual relationship with a beautiful woman will heal almost every issue you have with attracting women if you consciously take advantage of this opportunity in the relationship. I would rethink everything you’ve written here and consider having casual sex with women. From there you can find a girlfriend. 

[Federico del pueblo]

9 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

Getting really good in bed is actually more important IMO than technical game / pick up. You can reach “intermediate” level in pick up and do better than most of these so called “advanced” guys if you have also consciously started walking the path towards sex god statues.

Are there any resources you recommend for attaining sex god status?

Also what is this mostly about? Knowing how to "fuck" her mind or more like techniques or just everything?

[Leo Gura]

44 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

sacred religious tradition

Lol

[Thought Art]

Sex is Sacred... waiting until marriage for sex is bad... what if you two aren't a sexual match? You need to figure out what types of sex there are and what you like before you settle down forever.

Edited January 8, 2022 by Thought Art

[Hardkill]

Yeah, I agree with you guys. Ever since I first started my college years, I've never believed in the old-fashion idea of waiting until you find that "special one." I am all for casual sex and experimenting sexually with different kinds of women.

However, what if you are a religious person who truly believes in just finding genuine romantic love with someone just because of the way you have been brought up?

Also, does having a lot of casual sex have a risk of causing one to lose a sense of strong family values and having a meaningful genuine connection with a partner?

[hyruga]

It also depends on which country and state you are in. If you are in a conservative country, you might even get charged for molesting or insulting modesty of a woman. (Of course this can also an ego trick made by your mind). Do whatever you think or feel is right!

Edited January 9, 2022 by hyruga

[Anders Saether]

@Leo Gura

With all due respect Leo, you are a wise man, and I agree with your thinking on many things. On this topic however, we just seem to come from two different POV. On that brainwhashing thing we just seem to have to agree to disagree. For me it’s more like a understanding I have gotten to in my older days, after sleeping with girls, getting attached to them after sex, for them to later leave, often never seeing them again, and when I did see them again, it was akward and sad exactly because we had slept together.
 

I’ve been thinking on it for a long time concluding that I get really emotionally and intematally attached during sex, and that that’s natural, and for me having sex casually with a lot of people, will end up breaking my heart, and making me numb to it. I think if I were to have sex with a lot of people, yes, then sex would not be a big thing anymore, and I would value it less. That’s not what I want however.  I do however beleive that sex in a life long partnership with mutal respect and trust, which both share the same spiritual foundation and intimacy, will be the best sex both for me and for my significant other. 
 

It seems you are saying that waiting for sex until marraige is devoiding me of essential experience needed in a relationship. That might be true, but there are other importaint type of abilities one can train up, like leadership skills, social skills, fitness, verbal skills etc. that will be of at least as much importaince. It’s not like I’m going to do nothing. I will be activly persuing women anyways, cold approaching, social circle, building a solid social media profile, and building up many importaint skills along the way. You also seem to say that a girl is going to leave me when she knows I’m going to wait with sex, I’m not certain if this is something you have experienced yourself Leo or if it’s something you asume. But let’s say that often is the case. Anyways, I will always be screening heavly for this with girls I’m dating. This will be something the girls will know allready on first or second date. I will probably have more than my fair share of girls rejecting me for this, but I only need one, and that’s good enough for me. I have time, I can even move to a more conservative area if I need to,  I’ll give it 5 years, if I haven’t managed to find my significant other until then, I might reconsider. I understand I might go into uncharted territory here and will have to discover things for myself as I move along. Anyways, still apriciate your other advice on dating, even if we happen to disagree on this other point Leo.

Anyways still open to advice from others on how to do game without sex before marraige.

[Yarco]

If you insist in not having sex, you're going to have to go for dating sites like Christian Mingle or something to have a chance.

According to 2011 to 2015 CDC data, women between ages 25 and 44 had a median of 4.2 sexual partners. The lower you go, the worse it gets. For just millennials the average is 8 partners.

Basically no one you approach is going to be saving themselves for marriage. I even know women who said stuff like that and then cave in after being with a guy for a couple months. Most women won't have the willpower to stick around and wait, even if they have intentions of respecting your wishes, unless they're cheating on you.

In real-life meetings you'll have to go to a church basically. Orthodox or Catholic, the more strict the denomination the better. Most protestant denominations won't cut it. There will only be so many women in each congregation that meet your requirements, so you'll need to exhaust each church of candidates before moving on to a new one. Better yet consider becoming a regular at a mosque or converting to Orthodox Judiasm. Move to Utah and date Mormons.

In secular women, you're not going to find women saving themselves unless they're asexual or have past sexual trauma basically. There's almost no non-religious incentive to do it. Then you have problems once you get married and you want to start having sex. You're basically committing yourself to a sexless life if you go this route, even once you're married. Maybe she'll let you hit it once a year on your anniversary. Maybe you're okay with that. But maybe once you have sex it'll open the floodgates and you'll realize you can't go back to life without it.

If you do get a nice religious girl who will wait till marriage, something will almost certainly be mentally messed up with her. Like full of repression and shame that you will never be able to overcome. Submissive to an annoying level. Or at least she will always love and put god as #1 before you.

Edited January 9, 2022 by Yarco

[Thought Art]

It's not like sex isn't as good the second time you have it lol

[Gili Trawangan]

@Anders Saether Online dating seems like a good option for you.

There are lots of women online who are "desperate" to find a guy who isn't just looking for quick sex.

Online, people are very upfront about what they want and you can screen girls early by telling them the truth, you want to wait until marriage.

I don't think you have it too difficult, on the contrary. Just choose wisely who you end up with. 

[Cleopatra]

@Anders Saether be careful who you ask advice from. There's nothing wrong with your worldview, you just have to understand the consequences and decide if it's still worth it. It might be, it may not be. Also, you obviously will need to pursue women who also hold the same conservative values of waiting till marriage. 

Leo and some of the guys here have a lot of knowledge but they are not on the same "life track" as you. There's no videos on actualized about how to find a good wife/be a good husband, because that not what a lot of the people here are after, Leo included, so you should already know what kind of advice you are going to get. 

Edited January 9, 2022 by Cleopatra

[Leo Gura]

@Anders Saether Do it your way and see how far you get.

[Hardkill]

17 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Anders Saether Do it your way and see how far you get.

So, it take that you think that women like this one don't know what they are talking about:

 

[StarStruck]

If you find a good christian girl she might have the patience.

[stefm5]

bad idea. i did that for religious reasons.

after a couple months married i didn't want to touch her. i didn't like her in that domain. sex chemistry is very important.

i divorved after 1 year married.