I reached the end of a journey + What's the point of life?

[zunnyman]

Hey guys, 

I don't think I've posted in maybe a year, but I could really use some help. 

I was really in love with this girl. She was really in love with me. We dated for 6 months, known each other a little longer. I saw our relationship as this beautiful, magical journey, as corny as that sounds. It was the most meaningful thing in my life. All I did was love her, care for her, protect her. We had amazing adventures and everything. I reached a point where I was surprised that judgement was none or minimal at max. Everyone judges other humans, themselves, etc. quite a lot. But with her, I just couldn't. I didn't see any flaws in her. **Love** was a core component. 

Now I'm not claiming this was some pure magical fantasy and I'm some deeply spiritual person or anything like that. I know I'm not. But that is really the best way I can describe our relationship. 

Everything else in my life was hollow. But our relationship was a source of *waking up* sorta for me. I was shown, after many years of hollow working for money, chasing girls, etc. that life can really be beautiful, passionate and magical. That you can reach happiness. 

We hit a peak in our relationship, and it all went south in just 1 moment. We made 1 small mistake that led to a downward spiral. For protective reasons, I don't want to get into that. 

Everything was going good. I wrote her a poem, gave it to her. We were outside, playing in the leaves, in the sun. Suddenly, 6 hours later, it turns into one of the hardest days of my life. 

Fortunately, everything is fine now. We're healthy, fine, everything is fine from a survival stand-point. But now our relationship ended. 

She is muslim and her parents are very religious. I am not religious, but I used to be Hindu. That day, when they found out she has a boyfriend, they engrained in her that I'm some extremist religious person (im not religious at all), hating on her religion. (I understand their pain. They just had to see me in that way as a survival mechanism to separate me from her). My ex, now, didn't take that to heart. But she really cares about her parents approval. She broke their trust that day more than she ever did in her life. And out of all this fear, and acceptance-seeking, and her wanting to go deeper into her religion, she broke up with me. 

Now it feels like the end of a journey. I'm partly, hurting a lot emotionally because of the breakup, and losing something and someone so meaningful to me. I'm also excited, it's a new year, and I've been self-actualizing a lot lately. Really getting back into life purpose, solidifying my habits even more, etc. 

But after the breakup, I asked her: "What was all this for?" "What was the point of all this?" 

And I genuinely got curious of why we're here on this planet. Like seriously, what is the point of good memories, good emotions, good food, contributing to humanity, magical moments, actualizing one's life even ..... if it's all going to go away one day? Like what is the point of all that? I'm still pursuing all this, but for what? Why? 

What is the point of anything at all?

And it's not just, what is the point after it's gone, but also, what is the point in the moment. Yeah it all is nice, but why have nice things? 

I've watched most of Leo's videos, had a variety of spiritual experiences, read tons of books, actualized myself in many ways. I, of course, know how really little I truly did though. But I still don't get it. 

Also I know I could hear an answer from you guys saying something about god, or enlightenment, or waking up, or something like that. I don't deny any of that. I am in pursuit of that experientially. But anything you or Leo would say is just more ideas or ideology that I could hold on to. And to be honest, I'm not even so keen on "waking up" right now. It scares me. I'm going about this gradually, through yoga, until I am more receptive to spirituality in that way. And first meeting my basic needs.

I am still open-minded to what you have to say, even if it is spiritual of course. 

But I guess really I want to know, on my current level, what the heck is the point of all this? What's the point of pursuing my deepest passion in life purpose if I know it's not going to matter one day? Am I just doing it for feel good pleasurable emotions? Even if it does help humanity, they're going to die one day. Even if I do help humanity, in the bigger span of things it doesn't do much anyways. 

Things not only feel pointless right now, but I've felt life has been pointless for a long time now. Despite pursuing self-actualization holistically, being curious, having magical moments, and all that, the underlying "What is the point though?" has lingered throughout my life, in all that I pursue. 

Really I guess, the essence of this post is: What is the point of life? What is the meaning of life?; It sounds like a cliche question. I've asked this before, with varying degrees of curiosity. But after this breakup, and after years of soul-less money chasing, I just want to pursue something deeply meaningful. I want to know that my actions, the life I live, means something at all. And of course I want to be passionate, and live a passionate life and be in tune with deep love for life, but I still don't know what the point of all that is. What is the point of passion and love even? 

Didn't know where to place this because this is relationship related, life purpose related, spiritual related, life related. 

And @Leo Gura if you have any insights, I would greatly appreciate that as well. 

[Vincent S]

Sometimes Things Happen In Your Life, To Point You To A Different Direction. To Push You To The Next Chapter.
Her Entering Your Life, Was A Taste-Test Of Something Larger. A Jolt To Jumpstart Something For You.
This Doesnt Only Happen With Pleasure. Sometimes It Comes In The Form Pain And Suffering.
But Really, They Are All The Same: Jump-Starters.

Lets Say You Are In An Infinite Dream, With Infinite Layers (That Never Ends). Waking Up And Sleeping: Are The Same As A Begining And End.
Jolts Of Pain And Pleasure Occur, To Give Meaning To The Meaningless. To Give Meaninglessness To Meaning.
Life Is Without Meaning. Lifes Meaning Is The Meaning You Give It.
But For The Character You Are Playing Within This Dream. Things Happen, That Will Make Everything Just Freeze-Frame For You.
In These Moments: You Start To Question Things. The Jumper-Cables Did Their Job.
Continue With The Different Leads You Have Been Given, And The Upcoming Ones That Are Coming Your Way.

Its All Nice To Listen To Others Like Me: To Talk Spiritually And Being All Philosophical.
But At The End Of The Day: Whats Most Important For You, Is To Be Honest With Your Life/Dream. Because: Only You Wake Up The Way You Are Ought To Wake Up: In Your Own Unique Way.

Edited January 8, 2022 by Vincent S

[Stephen]

watch this 3 times and REALLY LISTEN to Ram Dass

 

https://youtu.be/F-_A_CUwiVk

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6et8_aLLG0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLH7yUwkBPg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpQMgQtzDRA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZnhuJL_-Ss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4lk2ivhiEk

 

Edited January 8, 2022 by Raze

[KatiesKarma]

As far as I can tell there is no meaning to be found. It's just this elaborate piece of art, you are the artwork and the painter all the same

[Space Lizard]

8 hours ago, zunnyman said:

Really I guess, the essence of this post is: What is the point of life? What is the meaning of life?; It sounds like a cliche question. I've asked this before, with varying degrees of curiosity. But after this breakup, and after years of soul-less money chasing, I just want to pursue something deeply meaningful. I want to know that my actions, the life I live, means something at all. And of course I want to be passionate, and live a passionate life and be in tune with deep love for life, but I still don't know what the point of all that is. What is the point of passion and love even?

Don't ask me dude, I'm basically a nihilist. I pursued many of the common paths and philosophies and never found any point. I found a lot of stories, myths, fantasies and delusions, but no convincing answers. I got into physical and outdoor pursuits like hiking and bicycling because they're fun, healthy, and don't require an answer to your questions. Living is the point of life, as far as I can tell. Why do you need some big story beyond that?

Edited January 8, 2022 by Space Lizard

[mememe]

@zunnyman would you become a muslim for her if that would give you the chance to be with her again?

your question for me is very much related to your own experiences - the point of life is for so many people a different one and for some it changes in the course of a lifetime maybe even several times. some seek truth, some hedonism, some seek money, some seek freedom, and for many people love is one of the most seeked but also most challenged aspects of life. i sometimes am surprised that we live in the 21 century and still have all these rules that keep us from free choices - but even if you are that open minded and able to love without prejudice and find someone who is the same as you, it does not mean the whole world arrived with you in 21 century. you might need to time travel for that or change religion. if you really want to be with her - if that’s your point of life. i don’t know if her parents would accept you then or what your parents would say - but maybe you would gain freedom within another religion.

regarding the point of life, i guess it’s life itself. so many people have realized that through experiencing suffering for a better future, but those who reach that future sometimes seem to miss that challenge.

Edited January 8, 2022 by mememe

[SelfHelpGuy]

This was so beautiful to read, I teared up a little reading because I can relate so much.

This question lingers for me too, I have no advice to offer - just company 

[Epikur]

I would say there is no real point in life but there is some sense. Our senses give us emotions and that creates a feedback loop of having sense. It is like having real meaning but it is a simulation of it.

It is a survival machine doing what it is programmed to do.

[Tristan12]

These videos of Leo's may be helpful to you:

https://youtu.be/zGDGobqibDc

https://youtu.be/Jar8Pd5oo_s

https://youtu.be/9PjZB9CoFfs

 

[flowboy]

@zunnyman  The point of life is to have a human experience, and to face the most challenging aspects with as much love as we can. Go towards the fears that feel the most meaningful and insurmountable to you, and face them. Overpower those fears with love. Spread love in whatever you do. It's really hard, but that's the point.

So do what you want and what you think is meaningful. And love the most difficult aspects of life. And confront your deepest fears.

[Gregory1]

There is no point in life. If there would be a point or a purpose, life would be very shallow.

Imagine there would be a god-given purpose and you would reach it, what would you do after that? Right, there would be nothing more to do and you would be in boredom for eternity.

The beautiful thing about life is, that there is no point to it. Therefore life becomes deeply meaningful and life becomes a creation, rather than just fulfilling a plan.

[Epikur]

3 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

There is no point in life. If there would be a point or a purpose, life would be very shallow.

Imagine there would be a god-given purpose and you would reach it, what would you do after that? Right, there would be nothing more to do and you would be in boredom for eternity.

The beautiful thing about life is, that there is no point to it. Therefore life becomes deeply meaningful and life becomes a creation, rather than just fulfilling a plan.

Nice perspective. Life may become an art.