How to let go of ex gf

[Leo Gura]

51 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

So then how can a guy ever get his self-esteem healed if after approaching thousands of girls he still couldn’t even get one of them?

How does a girl ever recover her self-esteem if she could never get a boyfriend or husband throughout her entire life even by the time she reaches 60 something years old? 

In practice many people kill themselves each year thanks to low self-esteem and lack of self-love. Or they suffer depression, anger, and other issues.

But also don't kid yourself. You have not approached nearly that many girls. If you did, you would be getting laid. And most girls have no problem getting laid.

[Karmadhi]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

In practice many people kill themselves each year thanks to low self-esteem and lack of self-love. Or they suffer depression, anger, and other issues.

But also don't kid yourself. You have not approached nearly that many girls. If you did, you would be getting laid. And most girls have no problem getting laid.

May i ask why women have less difficulties finding a guy commiting to them compared to a guy getting laid? Even low quality ones. So why women's sexual agenda (to get a guy to commit to them) is usually more often satisfied than a guy's agenda (to get laid). And here i am not talking about quality. A guy usually struggles to attract or sleep with ANYTHING, meanwhile a girl always has some options for relationships but struggles to get the best ones. Why this assymetry, i never understood it.

Ps: I am not talking about hermits here but more like "normies" including "introvert" normies.

[Hardkill]

22 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

In practice many people kill themselves each year thanks to low self-esteem and lack of self-love. Or they suffer depression, anger, and other issues.

But also don't kid yourself. You have not approached nearly that many girls. If you did, you would be getting laid. And most girls have no problem getting laid.

So, if a guy approached 1,000s girls then it would be impossible for him to not get laid?

I know that practically any girl can get laid if they wanted to, but that doesn’t mean that she is guaranteed to ever get a boyfriend or husband in her entire life if she doesn’t try her best unless she is hot.

[Javfly33]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@actually Channel that mental energy into making yourself a stronger man for other girls.

The truth you're avoiding here is that you're not as strong a man as you thought you were. Okay, that's good feedback. Take that feedback and go make yourself stronger.

In more practical terms, what does mean "strong" in this context ? @Leo Gura I know you don´t mean having big muscles. 

Self-Love/Confidence? 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

Even low quality ones. So why women's sexual agenda (to get a guy to commit to them) is usually more often satisfied than a guy's agenda (to get laid). And here i am not talking about quality. A guy usually struggles to attract or sleep with ANYTHING, meanwhile a girl always has some options for relationships but struggles to get the best ones. Why this assymetry, i never understood it.

Because a woman's sexual value peaks early and is displayed externally. Women are also extremely social. This strategy allows women to play the buyer role while guys play the seller role.

Women have to be much choosier because they are only looking for one guy. Guys are looking to sleep with dozens of women.

It's fundamentally asymmetrical. A guy's survival is enhanced from sleeping around, a woman's survival is threatened. The one who needs sex less has the higher leverage. Women need it less. Unless the guy is sleeping with multiple women. So the hottest women implicitly want men who sleep with lots of women. The more women a guy sleeps with, the more attracted she gets to him. The hottest women are attracted to guys with crazy sexual abundance because hot women have crazy sexual abundance.

[Striving for more]

@Javfly33 Listen to your intuition what strong is, feel in to it. 

Go back in to all the times u were ever strong or weak, feel in to those moments, visualize them.

Think of an inspiring movie, think of a strong character, like the protagonist of Shawshank redemption, or some slave rebellion film, or just any character that represented "strong" or anything synonymous to you. 

I would say being strong is related to dealing with adversity, & holding your ground, it's sort of like phsyical strength but instead your mind physically pushing against the force of weakness, which may be desire to quit or to give in to impulse. 

U can observe what strength is, visualize it, see it in yourself & contrast it with what weakness means or feels like to you. 

 

Edited January 8, 2022 by Striving for more

[Javfly33]

1 minute ago, Striving for more said:

@Javfly33 Isn't it pretty obvious?

Listen to your intuition what strong is, feel in to it. 

Go back in to all the times u were ever strong or weak, feel in to those moments, visualize them.

Think of an inspiring movie, think of a strong character, like the protagonist of Shawshank redemption, or some slave rebellion film. 

U can observe what strength is, visualize it, see it in yourself & contrast it with what weakness means or feels like to you. 

 

Nice, thanks, that helps to clear things out.

Yeah I can see it´s definetely Love vibration vs Hate vibration.

Simplyfing things:

Love = strong

Hate = weak

 

[Hardkill]

16 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Because a woman's sexual value peaks early and is displayed externally. Women are also extremely social. This strategy allows women to play the buyer role while guys play the seller role.

Women have to be much choosier because they are only looking for one guy. Guys are looking to sleep with dozens of women.

It's fundamentally asymmetrical. A guy's survival is enhanced from sleeping around, a woman's survival is threatened. The one who needs sex less has the higher leverage. Women need it less. Unless the guy is sleeping with multiple women. So the hottest women implicitly want men who sleep with lots of women.

So, if a woman’s survival is threatened by sleeping around then why are a lot of women these days sleeping around?

[Leo Gura]

9 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

So, if a woman’s survival is threatened by sleeping around then why are a lot of women these days sleeping around?

They sleep around but hide it. The loss of value is largely a perception game.

[Hardkill]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

They sleep around but hide it. The loss of value is largely a perception game.

Oh yeah. True.

So, if a guy approached 1,000s girls then it would be impossible for him to not get laid?

[Roy]

19 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

So, if a guy approached 1,000s girls then it would be impossible for him to not get laid?

I use this language comedically, not to make fun of you - but bro, what the fuck do you think lol?

You can probably get laid dozens of times just from approaching 100 women, not thousands.

Since I moved to Van Island (which only has 1 million people), I've gone like 8/50 out of the women I've met, and my value compared to Leo's is probably not even a quarter of his.

You can do it too, easily. Unless you look like a meth addict or a serial killer. Just get outside!

[Karmadhi]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

They sleep around but hide it. The loss of value is largely a perception game.

Honestly i am 23 years old and i can tell you that my generation is much less judgemental about this shit. A girl will not be judged that harshly anymore about sleeping around and stuff, especially around more liberal people. These days calling a girl a slut automatically makes you sexist. This assymetry between guys being good for fucking a lot and girls being bad is slowly being reduced. It does exist but i am sure a lot less than it did for your generation (we have like 13-15 year difference i think). I am talking here about western developed countries where we both live.

In a stage blue country, it is a totally different story.

Now of course if you are totally totally permiscious and sleep with like 100 guys before 25 then yes people will judge, but if a girl has a one night stand or friends with benefits or casually sleeps around is not judged that much.

Edited January 8, 2022 by Karmadhi

[Hardkill]

2 hours ago, Roy said:

You can probably get laid dozens of times just from approaching 100 women, not thousands.

It’s certainly possible, but unlikely for it to happen for a newbie.

It actually took me several hundreds of approaches over the course of 3 years to get my first lay from cold and warm approach. I got to the point where I wanted to give up all hope and just kill myself even though I’ve always been physically attractive. Yeah, I finally got one, but what if I still didn’t get lucky even after those hundreds I made? What if I never ever got lucky in my life?

Leo said that it took him 450+ approaches to get his first lay ever from cold approach.

Edited January 8, 2022 by Hardkill

[Roy]

@Hardkill Is this from starting at literally ground zero? Like never having interacted with girls even in middle school? What age was your first kiss? I'm not judging here I just want to get an idea of level you were at exactly experience wise.

Like when Leo refers to the start of his journey as being "the worst of the worst" and had "zero experience", I'm taking him at his word and assuming he's never made out or been to 2nd base at that point.

[Hardkill]

6 minutes ago, Roy said:

@Hardkill Is this from starting at literally ground zero? Like never having interacted with girls even in middle school? What age was your first kiss? I'm not judging here I just want to get an idea of level you were at exactly experience wise.

Like when Leo refers to the start of his journey as being "the worst of the worst" and had "zero experience", I'm taking him at his word and assuming he's never made out or been to 2nd base at that point.

Well, I got my first ever when I was 19 years old. However, there were a lot of girls during my middle and high school who came on to me. A few even asked me to be there boyfriend. Though I wasn’t attracted to any of them so I respectfully declined all of them.

[Roy]

Well yeah, 19 that's quite late, so don't feel bad.

It's basically like this, everyone has been running a race and started back when they were pre-pubescent, and all those left over only started the race years later for whatever reason.

The key to keeping a good attitude though is remember there are no winners and losers in this "race". You don't even need to pay attention to the other runners. Just focus on yourself and your own pace, and what milestones you want to reach.

[Hardkill]

3 minutes ago, Roy said:

Well yeah, 19 that's quite late, so don't feel bad.

It's basically like this, everyone has been running a race and started back when they were pre-pubescent, and all those left over only started the race years later for whatever reason.

The key to keeping a good attitude though is remember there are no winners and losers in this "race". You don't even need to pay attention to the other runners. Just focus on yourself and your own pace, and what milestones you want to reach.

So, if I had started even earlier than I did then it would have been impossible for me to not get laid much earlier than I did. Same with other guys like Leo too, yeah?

[Roy]

9 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

So, if I had started even earlier than I did then it would have been impossible for me to not get laid much earlier than I did. Same with other guys like Leo too, yeah?

Yes it generally just comes down to how much time is invested and when you started. A guy who goes through traditional socializing starting to chase girls at 12 years old is going to be in another fucking stratosphere than someone who is still a virgin at 25.

This is why normies are always in relationships and don't even have a concept of what an incel is if you ask them. They can't even comprehend it. To them an incel is basically like an infant who never learned to walk and has to use a wheelchair.

The point being everyone has to start somewhere. The only thing that matters is if you start or not.

 

[Hardkill]

9 minutes ago, Roy said:

Yes it generally just comes down to how much time is invested and when you started. A guy who goes through traditional socializing starting to chase girls at 12 years old is going to be in another fucking stratosphere than someone who is still a virgin at 25.

This is why normies are always in relationships and don't even have a concept of what an incel is if you ask them. They can't even comprehend it. To them an incel is basically like an infant who never learned to walk and has to use a wheelchair.

The point being everyone has to start somewhere. The only thing that matters is if you start or not.

 

I see. Okay, that helped me feel better and see thing more clearly. Thank you.

Edited January 8, 2022 by Hardkill

[Roy]

That is fundamentally why Incels are so bitter. They haven't even tied up their running shoes, and are wondering why people are so far ahead of them. Then they expect the same results as someone who has been running for 10+ years longer than them, which is obviously just delusion and pure selfishness.

But it's not about other people, it never was. It's only really about themselves. They are focused outward rather than inward.

4 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

I see. Okay, that helped me feel better. Thank you.

I'm glad. PM me if you ever need anything.