Going through a confusing/uneasy period

[Human_Discipline]

Okay, so kundalini energy is really nothing to mess around with. I had it explode about three years ago (long story).

 

Fast forward three years and it's coming back. I can feel different chakras opening with energy. The most notable one has been the third eye. I feel pressure there daily, and also I've started noticing my crown and throat gaining energy. What's scary, is how powerful the root Chakra can get. This past Saturday it felt as though I was going to lose control of myself again, as it happened previously. I had a spontaneous awakening three years ago from practicing sex energy retention.

 

What's been happening now is no matter what I do, if I release this energy or not (most times will happen in my sleep) I can feel kundalini getting stronger. I have been meditating for about 5 months and my body will do spontaneous movement where my head will swirl around and I will rock back and forth or side to side. I've been scrambling to try and figure out what I should do to prevent or prepare for something explosive again, because I'm experiencing the same sort of sensations and feelings as I did three years ago. There was a period of time where I got put on really strong anti psychotic medication, and I've been off them for around a year and a half. No one should have to live with those medications, as they make one a zombie and suicidal.

 

I guess what I'm getting at is, do I try to work on the other Chakra centers? I've started guided meditations for each one. But for some reason I feel that they are opening up by themselves. Synchronicity has been ramping up as well, and from my experience, this means that something big is going to happen right around the corner.

My biggest fear, is ultimately myself. Because kundalini is just you, realizing yourself. If I said I wasn't scared, I'd be lying. Literally no one I know other than myself has had such a scary, powerful awakening. Any advice or input would be great.

 

Thanks.

 

Edit: I will often get spontaneous arousal, and I've had moments of erotic bliss. From what I've read I have to hold the sexual energy in to allow kundalini to rise. But who knows? The internet is a double edged sword and the little information o find tends to be vague.

Edited January 5, 2022 by Human_Discipline
Added more information

[tlowedajuicemayne]

I don't know. I don't think that its skillful to turn to internet forums for things like this. There's too much mental illness disguised as spirituality here if I'm honest. 

When you say 'lose control' what do you mean by this exactly? Also, when you say that you had a spontaneous awakening, what do you mean by this? 

Given what you've written here- It might be time to go and visit an experienced Teacher who is familiar with the territory of what you're going through. This way you can get some guidance on what to do next, or if these experiences are spiritual in nature at all. It could be possible that you're experiencing mental illness of some sort which could be causing this. I'm no expert but I can say for sure that before you continue going down the road you're going down- you might want to go out of your way to be 1000% sure that what you're experiencing is in fact what your ego thinks its experiencing and not some sort of psychotic break. Like I mentioned earlier, there is a ton of mental illness disguised as spiritualty here on Actualized.org, and many other forums. Taking spiritual advice from anyone online is gambling with your mental health and your sanity. Go and see someone who has traversed this territory, and maybe put a stop to all spiritual practices that aren't basic breath practices or mindfulness practices until you've visited such a teacher who can determine whether or not what you're experiencing is in fact kundalini and not some sort of psychotic or other mental issue. 

[Space Lizard]

I used to do kundalini style yoga, and it did seem to unleash some powerful energies in my life that led me into a pretty insane place and almost destroyed me. I'm not sure it was worth it, but it was interesting. So I agree that it's nothing to mess around with. What are you trying to achieve? Are you a monkey playing with matches just to see what happens? Maybe there is a guru somewhere who can keep you from going off the deep end? I don't know, I don't do it any more because I realized that I had no good reason for it, any more than I have a good reason to play with matches in a fireworks factory.