Stuff coming up on surface

[roopepa]

A LOT of the suffering in the past few years has been due to me being insecure about my body.

I haven't felt my body attractive so I've been looking for that quality somewhere else. Been trying to be intelligent, highly conscious, whatever to make people, especially women, find me interesting.

My body doesn't look at all what I think a beautiful male body looks like. Especially my chest. It's all fatty and soft.

Weird how this just now came up. I've been pushing it away so that I didn't realize I was insecure.

I can remember when I was 11 years old and already making judgements about my body. For some reason I developed this judging mentality quite young. I've always held kind of high standards about my looks and attractiveness.

Welp, at least now I realize what I've been pushing away so intensely.

[Cathal]

well it's just about radical acceptance and awareness. you know you are not this body yet you experience so much attachment to it, it is just a process of surrendering into the feeling to all that unpleasentness (not being beautiful enough, strong, muscular) and letting it go properly by not getting identified with the thoughts of 'improving, changing, becoming more'. you just let it be. 

all that shit is in your head because somehow in the past you have developed beliefs that you are not worth to be loved the way you are, the great sickness. i had them since i was 6 lol

[Flowerfaeiry]

7 hours ago, roopepa said:

For some reason I developed this judging mentality quite young.

The world will always tell you you're not enough in some regard. Whether it's your body, your fashion choices, the money you make, the creations you create. 

7 hours ago, roopepa said:

I've always held kind of high standards about my looks and attractiveness.

Good!! I think it's great to have high standards. It means you respect yourself and want more for yourself. 

[roopepa]

2 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

The world will always tell you you're not enough in some regard.

I'm not gonna blame the world.

2 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I think it's great to have high standards.

Not when it leads to drug addiction and mental health crisis.

[flume]

I've dealt with that for years, and even in psychotherapy I couldn't really find out what the root was. Social expectations? Nah... It felt deeper.

When I did primal therapy it all finally came up. In the most twisted way... My mother never "nourished" me, she (gave me the feeling she) never wanted me. Like I'm "too much". I didn't know what I was doing wrong. 

I thought I did something wrong taking up space in this life. I literally didn't want to grow. I was sorry for all the resources I needed. As I inevitably grew though, I thought: Well, at least I have to be perfect in order to make up for all the harm I'm causing just being here. I was the best student, best girlfriend, best spiritual practitioner, best looking, best everything... All of that while taking up as little space as possible by being thin and being a people pleaser. And really, deep down I still felt like shit.

Not saying this needs to have anything to do with your situation, but just saying that these things can run deeper than we realise sometimes.

I talk about it a little bit in the video I just made. You might want to check it out:

 

[mememe]

@roopepa what are your plans on changing that?

i mean whatever psychological issues might be connected to that - the more easy part is changing your appearance. 

what kind of sports would you like? consider the fun factor, consider that it should be one targeting your main problem zone. don’t expect overnight changes, but your mental state and self confidence will change step by step achieving training goals.

if not in a journal you can even post your training plan in this thread - just do it! plan ahead for the next six months, envision how you want to look in the summer realistically.

[Breakingthewall]

The easy solution, the one that most applies, myself included, is: get strong. Is your ideal of how you should be? Get as close to that ideal as possible and you will be happier. it is true in a way but it is a patch,  and a surrender to social pressure . You say you don't blame the world, it doesn't cause your problem. Well, it does in my opinion. the reinforcement of how you should look to be correct, and how incorrect (unworthy of love) you are for being far from that archetype, appears every day, especially in adolescence. we want to be completely free of all that. It is very difficult, it is like swimming against the current. Like to be gay in saudi arabia. imo you have to understand that you are fighting against the system, if you don't perceive the pressure of the system, and how it affects you, you will be crushed. But honestly, I'm far of win this fight

[HypnoticMagician]

If it is not something you can acquire, just devalue it, pay attention to your hobbies, find other things you can enjoy in life, forget about it. Don't worry about the stuff you can't change. Life is not about sex. So forgetting the opposite sex is something I considered until recognizing I can solve my own insecurities about my look. If it is something you can fix or, at least, improve, do not think the same things so much besides caring about it only for certain, short amount of time. You can exercise for 30 minutes, eat more wholesome nutritious food in lower amount, do semen retention both to boost your brain and groom your appearance. These don't take too much time if you don't do mirror checking or constantly remember how unattractive you are. As you can see, the remaining time doesn't change very much. So you have similar amount of time again to pay attention to the same hobbies you like. So you are gonna enjoy the life anyway. I too suffered from the similar situation. Too much masturbation was what screwed up my dopamin receptors in my case. So I recommend you do semen retention if your situation is similar to this. Do what I say, you'll get great results both in your appearance and mental performance. Your meditation trips are also gonna get better. I highly recommend you meditate if you don't.

[Loba]

Rest your consciousness on your unease and get back into the moment and then view the feelings from a third person perspective and inquire.
Do this until all you have to do is rest your consciousness on it and eventually those feelings will fall away.

[Nahm]

On 1/5/2022 at 0:23 AM, roopepa said:

I'm not gonna blame the world

?

Anger & blame naturally inspires physical activity & general asskickingness. 

For two decades the collective has conditioned you, while all but ruining the planet you’re awakening to. 

It’s literally right outside your door. Express. Testify. Rage is good, no man is an island. 

 

[Asayake]

This thread hit home for me. I've been insecure about my chest and crooked upper back for a long time now.. But just recently realized it is one of my major mental blockages. It seems rough but it is what it is. Could've been worse. Atleast we realized it and can tend to it, some people live with their insecurities their whole life and never move an inch as a result of it :(... 

[fopylo]

14 hours ago, Nahm said:

?

Anger & blame naturally inspires physical activity & general asskickingness. 

For two decades the collective has conditioned you, while all but ruining the planet you’re awakening to.

@Nahm
Hey that's exactly the message you sent me

Edited January 12, 2022 by fopylo

[roopepa]

On 12.1.2022 at 1:39 AM, Nahm said:

?

Anger & blame naturally inspires physical activity & general asskickingness. 

For two decades the collective has conditioned you, while all but ruining the planet you’re awakening to. 

It’s literally right outside your door. Express. Testify. Rage is good, no man is an island. 

 

Inspired by it, just not feeling it. ? At least not regarding the body insecurity.

[Nahm]

@roopepa

Well, what about taking responsibility for what you focus on, and therein, how you feel? In a nutshell, less judging, more loving. That’s within your power & always entirely up to you. It also doesn’t require any action or effort. I’d do so simply for how it feels, since all you want is to feel great. Nothing about the body needs to change for you to change your opinions, perspectives, etc. 

Daily meditation, for some space around old patterns of thinking could be most helpful. Also, don’t underestimate how the simplest of changes has a profound change in orientation and momentum ensues. Hypothetically, things as simple as writing down today, that tomorrow you’ll do five push ups in the morning, and cut one thing from your diet. Then tomorrow there’s less tendency toward thinking because you know what you want to do, since you wrote it down. Small steps really do add up.