WaveInTheOcean has died

[Sine]

I want to share with you that WaveInTheOcean, user of this forum, my best friend, soul-twin and partner through many rounds, has died.

He committed suicide on the 8th of december. 

He shared a great deal of insights, advice, trip-reports and good vibes in here and I know many other users have expressed gratitude towards him and some have reached out to him in private messages. I believe he was a big part of this place. 

I can not tell you, why he choose to end his life. This post is extremely difficult for me to write and I feel like nothing I could say would perfectly capture what has happened. I know he had trouble sleeping during long periods and was deeply tormented by this and I know he have had suicidal thoughts periodically through many years. 

It is so difficult for me to comprehend this, because if anyone loved life, it was WaveInTheOcean, and if you have read any of his writings in here, you will know.

He was the most beautiful expression of love and he shared it with so many.

He had so many friends and was close with his family, I know he met with people and had conversations on the phone up until the last day. He knew he was loved, I am sure of it, however, he still made this decision, and no matter how many times i try to turn it around, looking at it from different perspectives, it was his decision to make. 

The last thing he wrote in here was:

"Truth you don't find. Truth finds you. Sooner or later. What you then do, no one knows. If you knew, it would already have found you."

Since all of the days I knew him, he was fascinated about discovering the Truth. It could be a pain in the ass but I also loved that about him.

He was the smartest and most openminded person you could imagine. He shaped my personality and my life in such ways that I will be forever grateful.

He discovered life, he discovered love and now he has also discovered death. 

I love him so much and I will do so for ever, I hold him in such deep admirations that it must go through all times and spaces. 

Not too long a go someone narrated one of his trip-reports and made it into a beautiful video. I want to share that one with you: 

And also one of the songs he used to like:

 

[Raptorsin7]

Dam RIP. I wonder is this an attempt to bypass the suffering of being a human and going straight to the truth?

During suicidal times of my life I wondered why shouldn't I just commit suicide and go straight to the truth and then simply restart the game and bypass this unnecessary suffering and torment.

This reminds of @SoonHei. On the surface he seemed to be a happy and integrated guy, but I wonder why both of them felt the desire/need to commit suicide.

Maybe this is mahasamadhi, a conscious choice to leave the body?

One thing I can say from experience is the desire to help other people and share spiritual insights etc may be rooted in a desire to transcend one's own suffering. So they try their best to help others with the hope that they may in turn help themselves. 

I think he thought death was the path to bliss. It's tough because I also believe this, but I know you can experience divine bliss and peace without death so I don't feel an argue to off myself, but maybe if you haven't experienced that you would see that as a viable option?

Edited January 4, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Fearless_Bum]

RIP ?. 

I'm sure he was a good guy. 

[Sine]

Yes I have been thinking about SoonHei too.

But I feel this has so many dimensions to it. I don't want to go much into what his reasons was because it's only WaveInTheOcean who can know and that is okay.

I'm just sure it is not just one single thing but many factors that played together. 

[vizual]

Let's not sugarcoat this by saying 'oh he willingly and gracefully left this plain of existence so he could experience eternal bliss'. No that's nonsense, he killed himself because he was in hell and saw no other way out. He was drowning in his own misery and thought psychedelics and non-duality was his way out. It wasn't. 

I feel bad for him, very bad. And he won't be the last. Because non-dual teachings are not geared toward leading a happy and fulfilling life. You aren't going to magically 'ascend', that's just ego illusion.

[Someone here]

RIP. He was truly an inspiration. 

[Fearless_Bum]

I notice on this forum that people believe that life is some petty thing, and that the "infinite consciousness state" is the only thing that matters. 

This sounds like escapism to me, quite harmful too. 

[captainamerica]

Rest in Peace _/\_

He had a lot of insight into Psychedelics. 

@Sine Please take care. <3 

[gettoefl]

he was a beautiful and gentle human being, loved his presence and insights shared here, the world is a poorer place for his departure

[Fleetinglife]

I saw who he was but I, unfortunately, didn't follow his posts during the time I was on this forum.

_/\_ RIP.

Sorry for your loss and best wishes to you, his friends, and his family, and hope you will be okay!

Edited January 4, 2022 by Fleetinglife

[Roy]

I remember sharing some messages with him quite a while ago, I got the sense he was very caring and personable. I am sorry.

[PurpleTree]

sorry for your loss ?

[Salvijus]

Blows my mind...

Rip to your friend ?

[SgtPepper]

RIP.

I hope if anyone here is having suicidal ideation right now they will reach out to someone. 

[Leo Gura]

Sorry to hear this news.

@Sine Did you know him in real life?

[happyhappy]

4 hours ago, Sine said:

Truth you don't find. Truth finds you. Sooner or later. What you then do, no one knows. If you knew, it would already have found you."

loved every word of it!? he was definitely a beautiful soul!

 

5 hours ago, Sine said:

love him so much and I will do so for ever, I hold him in such deep admirations that it must go through all times and space

.@Sine It must surely be a hard time for u as well. such is life huh!

can offer no advise. just my Love ,just my heart reaching out to all his loved ones

Peace and love!

[Javfly33]

Oh no ? He was one of my favourite members of the forum. This is so unexpected . Rest in peace my friend

[vizual]

I really wish people would be careful while trying to find the 'Truth', especially when psychedelics are involved. Because your insights can be completely misinterpreted which can slowly send you in a downward spiral toward depression and suicide. You can go on train of thought which goes only one direction, which is down.

It's important to stay grounded in reality. Make sure your insights actually have some kind of basis and fundament to it. Take baby steps, don't try to aim for full enlightenment immediately. It's like when people just learn to drive they immediately want to drive a sportscar with 2000horsepower and test its limits, while on drugs.  The chances if you getting hurt are extremely high.

Cross-check your insights with other experienced and grounded people. And if you feel you are on a downward trajectory, seek real help.

Edited January 4, 2022 by vizual

[lmfao]

Rest in peace. I remember this guy, he was pretty cool. Forum OG

[Gesundheit2]

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