What's Your Attachment Style?

[BipolarGrowth]

I got secure. Probably used to be more anxious in regards to romantic relationships until the past year or so. 

[Danioover9000]

   Has anyone here found any value in taking this test in terms of cognitive line, moral frame work, values, and psychological value like discovering more of your personality? I'm assuming besides the obvious like relationship development, have any of you found other benefits to this test?

[bejapuskas]

@spiritual memes google some possible solutions  Its an underused tool

@Danioover9000 I find value after reflecting, not only after taking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Bojan]

Disorganized

Could it be possible that parrnts do not love their son? Could it be possible that they do not love one of their sons? Could it be possible that parents have conflict of interests, a bias, prejudice, cognitive dissonance?

[bejapuskas]

@Bojan what does disorganized mean for you?

[Bojan]

18 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@Bojan what does disorganized mean for you?

It means that I can be very attached to some people and fearful of them at other times or at the same time. I don't know. I just answered the quiz and that's what came out.

[Alex bAlex]

Anxious /
Preoccupied

The anxious/preoccupied attachment style (referred to as ambivalent in children) is created in the first 18 months of life, in a dyad with the primary caregiver, usually the mother or the father.

The roots of this attachment style are based in perceived neglect: the parents did not necessarily neglect the child actively, but the child perceived that his or her needs were not met.

Growing up, people with this attachment style start to neglect their own needs and to put the needs of others first. They expect that, if they are nice and caring to someone, he or she will like them and take care of them in return. This turns into preoccupation with the needs of others and leads to lack of self-definition and sense of self.

Score Mother/CG1: Anxiety: 4.33 | Avoidance: 6.17

Score Father/CG2: Anxiety: 4.00 | Avoidance: 4.67

Score Partner: Anxiety: 3.67 | Avoidance: 2.67

 

 

Edited January 13, 2022 by Alex bAlex

[egoeimai]

Anxious /

Preoccupied

The anxious/preoccupied attachment style (referred to as ambivalent in children) is created in the first 18 months of life, in a dyad with the primary caregiver, usually the mother or the father.

 

The roots of this attachment style are based in perceived neglect: the parents did not necessarily neglect the child actively, but the child perceived that his or her needs were not met.

 

Growing up, people with this attachment style start to neglect their own needs and to put the needs of others first. They expect that, if they are nice and caring to someone, he or she will like them and take care of them in return. This turns into preoccupation with the needs of others and leads to lack of self-definition and sense of self.

 

 

Score Mother/CG1: Anxiety: 2.67 | Avoidance: 4.33

 

Score Father/CG2: Anxiety: 6.33 | Avoidance: 6.67

 

Score Partner: Anxiety: 6.67 | Avoidance: 3.33

 

 

Common signs of your attachment style include:

Please keep in mind that, even if you have this attachment style, you don’t need to identify with all of the characteristics outlined below. Remember, everybody has a unique personality and life experience.

 

You lack a strong sense of self and tend to put others first. You take care of others and place more importance on them and their needs, instead of on yourself and your needs.

You have a hard time being alone; you crave relationships and intimacy.

You have a relatively low self-esteem and seek approval and reassurance from others – you need them to validate your own worth. Therefore, you often crave attention and try to impress people.

When it comes to relationships, you often exhibit clingy and needy behaviors. You seek attention and intimacy and can become too demanding. On the other hand, you are sensitive towards your partner’s needs and preoccupied with taking care of them, which might cause your partner to feel smothered or suffocated by you.

You fear that you will scare people away and that they will reject, criticize, or abandon you. You can get extremely upset when you receive disapproval (in any form). When your partner is unavailable and spends time away from your relationship, you can become jealous, frustrated, and resentful.

You overanalyze and worry excessively about relationships. At the same time, you easily ignore or misread signs of relational issues

[integral]

 

[Danioover9000]

@bejapuskas

On 1/12/2022 at 6:14 PM, Danioover9000 said:

   Has anyone here found any value in taking this test in terms of cognitive line, moral frame work, values, and psychological value like discovering more of your personality? I'm assuming besides the obvious like relationship development, have any of you found other benefits to this test?

 

On 1/13/2022 at 8:25 AM, bejapuskas said:

@spiritual memes google some possible solutions  Its an underused tool

@Danioover9000 I find value after reflecting, not only after taking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   I meant after taking the test and reflecting, and even while taking the test obviously.

   However, I have yet to find any value in the theory of attachment styles other than describing simple types of attachment styles to intimate partners based on one's relationship with the father and mother. Like how one is treated by the parents, is how one is informed of how to treat every other male or female figure out in the world is the gist I'm  getting.

[Danioover9000]

@integral

10 hours ago, integral said:

 

   Thanks for the video, good introduction to attachment theory.

[assx95]

Anxious/Preoccupied 

[Danioover9000]

   My question to some who follow attachment style, what do you do to develop yourself towards secure attachment style?

   Is it personal development, and which theory?

   Is it spirituality, and which practice?

   For me, I've done enough spiritual practices and personal development years back, to be able to score a secure attachment style.

   

[tsuki]

Anxious/occupied

 

[At awe]

Dismissive/avoidant. Makes sense.

Why does it almost always seem that question’s are weird in these type of tests??

 

[Espaim]

Secure.

I'd be surprised if the result were otherwise, considering both my routinely self-analysis and other peoples comments about my personality.

Edited January 16, 2022 by Espaim

[Insightful27]

Dismissive/Avoidant

[Rainy Sparkle]

Disorganized / Fearful-Avoidant

Score Mother/CG1: Anxiety: 4.33 | Avoidance: 2.67

Score Father/CG2: Anxiety: 6.33 | Avoidance: 6.67

Score Partner: Anxiety: 5.67 | Avoidance: 1.17

[BluntIbex]

Mother/CG1: Anxiety: 1 | Avoidance: 6.67

Father/CG2: Anxiety: 1 | Avoidance: 1.67

Partner: Anxiety: 1.33 | Avoidance: 1.67

General: Anxiety: 2.67 | Avoidance: 1.17

[John Paul]

i am not very good at quizzes because my mind is always trying to think "outside of the box". This really isn't what I expected. I'm almost certain my mom should be far into anxious but closer to the secure box than the others but they put her as secure, dad seems about right though.

I think maybe it's because i did open up and depend on my mom but almost by some sort of emotionally manipulative force. Can anyone relate Thoughts? Does anyone here have a codependent mother? Is anxious attachment and co-dependent similar?