What's Your Attachment Style?

[Holygrail]

Avoidant... My best friend was anxious attachment style and literally the opposite of me. It's best to learn the others' love language and reassure them with that to bring them into secure attachment.

[Consilience]

Confused because part of the assessment is about parental upbringing. But if we’ve healed our relationship with parents even though we felt insecure *as children* these answers are contributing to a non-secure attachment style. 

[Lyubov]

I got secure. I did a tremendous amount of inner work to get here. Secure doesn’t mean a relationship without problems. You can still face some very challenging issues. 

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

Did it. I love you 

 

So cute. I love you. 

 

[Danioover9000]

@Federico del pueblo

4 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

But who really does that? I'm also not gonna express my intimate, deep emotions to people I only met 5 minutes ago.

   The main problem I find with this test, is it's too simple and sometimes too open for me. In the test it gives a statement and below that a disagree neutral and agree metric system. While answering I felt unsure if I picked the right one, because I sometimes re imagined the context of the statements. Also, when it started to cover for each parent I immediately felt defensive about the test even more, and now I was having recall more distent series of memories relevant to that statement. When it got to covering for the intimate partner, I don't have any intimate relationships before, so I was caught in a cognitive dissonance there that I had to use Crysty as a stand in for that, and how I rated each statement was more frequently to strong or very than an agreement or weak agreement. I think that's what it would feel like and think like to have an intimate relationship.

   I think the exposure to and practicing spirituality, and experiencing no self may have skewed how J answered the emotions part, because I didn't feel as strongly emotionally anymore. It's not just regarding people but even friends and family.

   Another kew factir, I don't know about attachment styles at all. I know developmental psychology, the big five personality test, C.B.T, R.E.B.T, Myers Briggs personality typing, Spiral Dynamics, Integral theory, ego development. However I literally don't know Attachment style, and I think this too is what could have skewed my results a bit to 'secure'

Edited January 4, 2022 by Danioover9000

[V_Love]

Was Anxious - preoccupied (Anxious - ambivalent in childhood). 

With spiritual and personal development work changed to Secure...and of course there is always room for improvement

[Rishabh R]

Anxious/ Preoccupied

[kireet]

Secure

[PurpleTree]

6 hours ago, Roy said:

I got "Anxious/Preoccupied"

 

6 hours ago, SamC said:

Anxious/preoccupied 

 

5 hours ago, Judy2 said:

Anxious/Preoccupied.  

same

 

Edited January 4, 2022 by PurpleTree

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Consilience said:

Confused because part of the assessment is about parental upbringing. But if we’ve healed our relationship with parents even though we felt insecure *as children* these answers are contributing to a non-secure attachment style. 

If you've healed it, then now you're Secure, or at least closer to Secure.

[Twenty]

Getting into the third page, 

"Who's father figure?" , which mother figure? I could barely answer some questions as it is something that I never think about. 

But mine was     dismissive/avoidant

I had a few stages growin up that it wasn't  all just one phase. I could barely remember by now...

[DManKee]

Disorganized /

Fearful-Avoidant 

 

 

[Harikrishnan]

6 hours ago, Consilience said:

Confused because part of the assessment is about parental upbringing. But if we’ve healed our relationship with parents even though we felt insecure *as children* these answers are contributing to a non-secure attachment style. 

If its completely healed then you would have compassion and empathy to your parents. It was like that for me. while doing the test my father was walking through my room,  He was avoidant type, but I felt compassion and love for him, he did best to his capability. And good memories of him came, that I didn't even know happened. (like they say Your past is happening now)

[Norbert Somogyi]

Disorganized/Fearful-Avoidant. Totally makes sense unfortunately

[TheAlchemist]

This was an uncomfortable slap of truth, a wake up call. It's spot on. 

I run away from any signs of deep intimacy in fear of losing my autonomy. And consequently the women I have had some relationship with have been anxious attachers, who get interested because their belief in their unworthiness is enforced by my dismissiveness. And I push them far away because of all the neediness I sense. Painful. 

[How to be wise]

@Miguel1 It’s on the blog.

Edited August 27 by Miguel1

[Mz Hyde]

Dismissive / Avoidant ✌

[Salvijus]

Got secure.

Never had a relationship. Nor do I have friends.

Nice.

What good is that. ?

not that I care tho.

#PersonalityTestsAreLame

 

 

Edited January 4, 2022 by Salvijus

[Staples]

Lots of avoidants here, me too!

Knew it before even taking the test. Whenever someone asks me a question about myself I just answer quickly and change the topic. But I'm pretty good at talking to others about themselves at least.

Realizing now it's actually selfish to avoid talking about yourself, the other person deserves to know who they're taking to. Working on that...

Edited January 4, 2022 by Staples

[DavidK]

Secure (Surprisingly?)