What's Your Attachment Style?

[Leo Gura]

Take this free 10-min attachment style assessment and report your results below.

The 4 options are:

• Anxious
• Avoidant
• Disorganized
• Secure

More info here: https://www.actualized.org/insights/whats-your-attachment-style

[How to be wise]

Dismissive/Avoidant

[Terell Kirby]

Disorganized- thanks for sharing the survey and reading material. Very insightful for those of us on the spiritual path.

[ValiantSalvatore]

I dunno I heard about so much relationship material I've read and re-did the quiz so many times after implementing p.d stuff and working on my emotionality. (Couple of years back)

 

Secure I was avoidant before I worked on this a couple of years back...

 

Score Mother/CG1: Anxiety: 2.67 | Avoidance: 1.67

Score Father/CG2: Anxiety: 2.67 | Avoidance: 6.00

Score Partner: Anxiety: 3.00 | Avoidance: 1.67

Edited January 3, 2022 by ValiantSalvatore

[Roy]

I got "Anxious/Preoccupied", doing a bit of self-psycho-analyzing - I guess even though I got everything I needed materially/emotionally and my parents were always there and provided for all my needs, I STILL feel a general angst and slight but consistent background paranoia. That I'm always doing something wrong, or I'm not normal.

Even though my past 3 relationships have been very healthy, I guess I just have low self-esteem even if everything seems to be going perfect.

Tis a curse.

[iceprincess]

disorganized/ fearful avoidant 

[Waves]

Currently reading Attached by Levine & Heller, good read in this context, they talk about these attachment styles. 

I'm mostly Anxious/Preoccupied, but also have Secure features. Feeling needy af especially when starting to date someone and it doesn't go away by having more girls to give attention to. I crave intimacy, I'm over-sensitive to rejection and often worry about the state of the relationship. It's like I need frequent confirmation that it's going well. 

[Pavement]

Secure.

[SamC]

Anxious/preoccupied 

[Jacob Morres]

I noticed these models were getting a ton of attention in the past years 

[Federico del pueblo]

I scored a "secure".

[Danioover9000]

   I got the attachment style secure. However, I felt like it's inaccurate to me because I don't socialize and express a lot of emotion to other people outside my circle, family and friends. I guess because I got most of my needs met, but not the higher needs. I also went fast with this quiz to answer as close to instinct.

   Gonna be taking this quiz multiple times to be sure my attachment style is actually secure. Something's off lol.

[Value]

Overall Disorganized/Fearful Avoidant
Got fearful-avoidant for both my parents, but got secure for my partner.
 

[Federico del pueblo]

6 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

I felt like it's inaccurate to me because I don't socialize and express a lot of emotion to other people outside my circle, family and friends.

But who really does that? I'm also not gonna express my intimate, deep emotions to people I only met 5 minutes ago.

[Pavement]

Nice to see Leo posting about attachment styles.  I’ve seen a lot posted here from the girls on the forum before regarding this topic.  
It’s an important part of shadow work that shouldn’t be ignored.  Amazing if you can work on this area. best way to make yourself more secure is by being in a relationship with someone who has a secure attachment type.
basically secure people don’t freak out or feel uncomfortable dealing with a partner/friend who is anxious.  They are comfortable being a rock and grounded.  They also have strong boundaries so can handle these situations well. 

Edited January 3, 2022 by Pavement

[Thought Art]

 I already know this is an area I am working on and will be for the next 5-10 years.

"Every night a new lonely tower looking down at all the wreckage... and you say 'Maybe we don't deserve love...'"

Edited January 3, 2022 by Thought Art

[ndm678]

Disorganized/fearful avoidant. Go figure. 

Edited January 4, 2022 by ndm678

[Chew211]

Secure.

My issues don't have much to do with friends, family, and lovers. Or coworkers. Or people in general. 

[integral]

Secure

[soos_mite_ah]

Both of my parents were absolute messes when raising me. These results show both dots on top of each other but I would say irl my mom is much more anxious with dismissive tendencies while my dad is on the extreme end of being both anxious and dismissive avoidant. (but at the same time I wouldn't characterize either of them as with disorganized attachment tbh). 

As for the partner section, since I've never been in a relationship I used a relationship I have with a couple of really close friends. I'm guessing the black dot is me regardless of who I'm dealing with in that case?

I know that a few years ago I was a mix between anxious attachment and dismissive/avoidant. In the last couple years I definitely leaned more towards the dismissive/avoidant. I would say that rn I'm mainly secure but in the last month or so I've been having these anxious spirals every now and then which I'm working on. The reason why I didn't score higher on the anxiety spectrum is because when I do catch myself on these spirals, I am pretty good at coping with them and I'm good at discerning the anxious thoughts and the reality of my relationships both through self reassurance and self soothing but as well as having conversations with others.

 I feel like when it comes to healing issues with attachment styles that this can take a while and that there are lots individual nuances that can come into play regarding the different relationship dynamics that were present in childhood. 

Edited January 4, 2022 by soos_mite_ah