Introduction

[Cutie3141592]

Hello! Welcome to my journal. I recently signed up for the Life Purpose course.

I found Leo’s videos on Youtube and many of them resonated with me, especially his explanation of God.  I’m a recovering alcoholic (over 4 years sober now). I did go to AA and like many newcomers, I balked at the higher power concept. I was agnostic and I felt that all rational people should draw the same conclusion. To use spiral dynamics terms, I was very orange and perceived all believers as blue. An Ivy League educated lawyer, I was extremely arrogant. I couldn’t even fathom that there might be spiritual people who are more advanced than me. Well, maybe I could concede that Buddhist monks might be ahead in the game of life but certainly not anyone who earned a chair in AA.

Spirituality kept alluding me and I couldn’t’ understand why. Then by accident, I was listening to a lecture by a very spiritual woman who ran for president. At the first Democratic primary debate, she talked about fighting Trump with love. I then suspected that she might be crazier than me. I am bipolar. But in this lecture, she was making sense.  She talked about how she used to hate the idea of God, the idea that there is a man much smarter than her controlling her life. Her observation gave me chills and I finally realized that my pride and arrogance were roadblocks.

I’m looking forward to this journey. I did read that this community is not about helping people with addiction or mental illness, but that’s not why I’m here. I know my life will always be a struggle, especially when I experience very intense lows- that’s bipolar, but I feel like I finally have a grip on those things. I’m ready to find my purpose. I’m ready for happiness. Thank you in advance for your support!

That photo actually wasn't staged at all. I was meditating and I felt my Bengal kitten, Melissandra, burrow into my legs. When I opened my eyes, I saw her in the cutest version of a child's pose imaginable.