Posted January 2, 2022 4 minutes ago, tashadwoodfall said: He's not being selfish I don't think The selfishness is in the fact that you said he wouldn't be open to learning about how to make you cum, to not invest time in that. He should be eager to invest time in that. Why hasn't he been using his fingers to make you cum? This is just negligence. The deeper problem here is that it doesn't sound like he's interested in investing energy into growing the relationship. This is a deal-breaker. You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 (edited) 8 minutes ago, tashadwoodfall said: He doesn't have problems finding women, he has money and well you can fuck almost anything with enough money. It doesn't turn me on don't ask why lol As far as integrity goes I DO see a contradiction with my value of honesty so you got me there. He's not being selfish I don't think, he wants to make me cum he gets hard again afterwards and at that point it's hard for me to be turned on. The solution seems to be to bring a toy into the mix and I should cum first or maybe after and TA DA! Now doing that in a way that doesn't hurt his ego I'll work through it lol. Ahaha, money… sounds like you have a plan. He CAN learn to last longer and toys are great. Work things out and enjoy it. Why don’t you or… maybe you two go into a sex shop for inspiration… check out the toys… check out the books.. who knows.. even if I cum early it’s like… I’m eating you out, fingering… massaging your thighs.. kissing your ears all the while waking up the Willy to keep going… he needs to learn to maintain the sexual energy even after he cums… he needs to feel into and become you… assuming you two even have a lot of sexual chemistry. Edited January 2, 2022 by Thought Art "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver ◭"89"◮ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 I decided to date a workaholic who wakes up at noon at works until midnight. What do I like about him? His personality, how smart he is, how we get along, how he looks, how he talks, the music he listens to, the beautiful energy he brings when I see him, his perspectives, the fact that he's successful and not too old, the fact I can see a future when he gets through setting up this new business etc. I've dated a lot and know I need to at some point make some compromises and his so far are not as extreme deal breakers as other guys with big dicks and sex that leaves you up at night… Is he selfish? Perhaps but I don't think that's a deal breaker. I'm selfish too if not more. We are attempting to do this dance. He's not as into sex as I am, he's more into other things and that's cute. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 @Thought Art Money is a good thing. Perhaps should even be a standard. Try not to be be so quick to judge women. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 @tashadwoodfall 1 hour ago, tashadwoodfall said: So I love my bf, he checks all the boxes except one. His dick isn't very big and he doesn't last long. Instead of cheating I'm considering asking him if he wants to explore like me having sex with someone else in front of him. Bad idea? If I ask him I'm not sure how he would react so I don't ask but at the same time I'm finding myself thinking about getting my needs met with someone else behind his back but we all know that isn't a good idea. Bad idea generally speaking. Maybe explore spicing up the sexual experiences, like scented candles, scented oils, toys, maybe role play or a vid 5-10 mins before the actual sex. Explore ways to tease him along with you, build up the tension, The little 1% improvements on how you build up to sex, and actually having sex is helpful. Now, going back a bit on you considering asking him to watch somebody having sex with you, well you could set aside some time to imagine that in your mind. visualize it and see how you think and feel at the end. Set aside what we are telling you what to think or do, and observe how you feel in the visualization. It might be a possibility that this could be related to your sexuality, kink, or you fetishizing some aspect of reality, which is worth doing some self introspection on, or talking to either a Psychoanalyst or a therapist if after self introspection you noticed this is a pattern that is rooted in your teens or even in your childhood, which could be related to sexual suppression. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 (edited) @tashadwoodfall Money is a good thing. I was laughing because I think for a lot of women it isn't a turn on. I wasn't saying anything about it really. It's good you are with a good provider or whatever. Not judging. It's just, your here wondering if you need to cheat/ explore new options/ try new toys etc to get your needs met. So, in the context of sex money usually means little. You might not need to compromise though.... There are guys with money who are good passionate and interested lovers too. Edited January 2, 2022 by Thought Art "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver ◭"89"◮ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 7 minutes ago, tashadwoodfall said: What do I like about him? His personality, how smart he is, how we get along, how he looks, how he talks, the music he listens to, the beautiful energy he brings when I see him, his perspectives, the fact that he's successful and not too old, the fact I can see a future when he gets through setting up this new business etc. That's good. If you can genuinely see positives in him and you are actually emotionally attracted to him and not staying with him because he checks boxes then I guess maybe you can make it work? But frankly this dude probably needs a girl with a lower sex drive and you need a dude who has a higher one If you're at the point where you're asking internet strangers if it's ok to cheat on your partner because he doesn't want to put in any effort to make you cum then something has gone very very wrong and it's both of your faults Then again I'm 22, wtf do I really know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 20 minutes ago, tashadwoodfall said: I decided to date a workaholic who wakes up at noon at works until midnight. What do I like about him? His personality, how smart he is, how we get along, how he looks, how he talks, the music he listens to, the beautiful energy he brings when I see him, his perspectives, the fact that he's successful and not too old, the fact I can see a future when he gets through setting up this new business etc. I've dated a lot and know I need to at some point make some compromises and his so far are not as extreme deal breakers as other guys with big dicks and sex that leaves you up at night… Is he selfish? Perhaps but I don't think that's a deal breaker. I'm selfish too if not more. We are attempting to do this dance. He's not as into sex as I am, he's more into other things and that's cute. Except here's the thing: if a guy can't sexually satisfy his woman, none of that matters because she will end up cheating or leaving for another guy. All those are logical points but the bottom line is that you want a deep and proper fucking. Logic will not prevail here. If a guy can't give that to you, it's not gonna work out even if everything else is textbook great. What's sad is that this dude doesn't understand this. You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 (edited) Sometimes when we have something, at least it's something and it's scary to take the leap because we fear we will lose what good we DO have. You two can work on your sex life. Sex really matters. There are so many great guys out there as well. I think you like this guy. But, you also want a good fucking. This is a very important human need. It seems like you have 3 options 1. Remain unsatisfied.... which you can't for long imo... 2. Find someone who can satisfy you in an high quality or or low quality way. If you cheat, or as for an open relationship I suspect the ending of the current relationship. Or, you be honest with yourself at least that this matters and do something about it... 3. Develop a sex life that works with this current guy... Edited January 2, 2022 by Thought Art "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver ◭"89"◮ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 Well the good news is it went from an idea to not happening. We can work on the sexual relationship we have, it's all good. I also recognize that I either had this idea because of sneaky self sabotage or because more than just my sexual needs are not being met (he's extremely busy). Relationships are challenging. I'm also extremely hung over from New Years Eve so I'm feeling really needy/anxious (I drank A LOT). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 @tashadwoodfall https://www.youtube.com/c/CamFraserSexCoach -- Cam is a reallly good highly conscious sex coach for couples and men. I recommend you check out his work Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 (edited) 10 hours ago, tashadwoodfall said: don't see him spending much time learning about sex either When he realizes he’s bad in bed he will get his shit together. Sounds like he’s just completely unaware right now because you guys don’t communicate properly. It’s not about buying a sex toy and telling him to use it, there needs to be a full conversation on the topic, he needs to understand the entire situation. And all the options he has available to him to satisfy you. Another issue is that this topic is something you’re avoiding to communicate, it scares you to talk about and you have very pessimistic predictions of the outcome. Maybe this stems from not being able to communicate your needs or expecting your needs not to be met by a partner. Expecting a partner not to take your needs into consideration. Edited January 2, 2022 by integral How is this post just me acting out my ego in the usual ways? Is this post just me venting and justifying my selfishness? Are the things you are posting in alignment with principles of higher consciousness and higher stages of ego development? Are you acting in a mature or immature way? Are you being selfish or selfless in your communication? Are you acting like a monkey or like a God-like being? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 What would you think/how would you feel if your boyfriend made a post talking about how much he loves his gf but her face is kind of ugly and she's a starfish in bed, so he wants to fuck other woman in front of her or go behind her back to get with more beautiful woman? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 10 hours ago, Leo Gura said: You're not breaking up with him because of his dick. You're breaking up with him because he isn't interested in making you cum. Which is a very valid reason to break up with a guy. Why would you want date such a guy? That's not something you can just overlook. That's not some minor, superficial thing. He's being too selfish. Exactly this. Man, I resonate with this thread so much, not because of supposed size, but not being satisfied sexually. One of my exes, who was supposedly more experienced than me, seemed completely uninterested to make me feel pleasure as well. And when he did try, it was just so sloppy, I could sense he wasn't REALLY trying, he just wanted to get it over with. Which turned me off instantly. There was no real desire to make me feel good. And now I see that he was just selfish. And he was. Not just because of this, but because of many other things I can see now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 @Lyubov wrong Be-Do-Have There is no failure, only feedback Do what works Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 @tashadwoodfall Hey, I think I can relate to what you are saying. I think you can still work on it if you are open to that. When I was thinking about opening the relationship up with one of my exes, it was because I thought that if we had sex with other people, I would experience how it is supposed to be done and then teach her, and that she would maybe experience how it is when the other person is not trying and realize some things. This was naive to think though, direct communication is better. It might take time and patience though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 2 hours ago, QQQ said: Imagine a white male saying this in front vMEME Green folk LOL I don't get the joke lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 If you deeply hate and detest your boyfriend and want to humiliate him deeply, ask him if it's okay if you have sex with other dudes. If you don't hate him, try to explore ways he could satisfy you more, be open with him. If he can't, you should accept the situation as is, or leave him. RIP Roe V Wade 1973-2022 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 2 hours ago, QQQ said: However, the love and care being shared here to develop one another is unmatched xx ?❤ My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 15 hours ago, tashadwoodfall said: So I love my bf, he checks all the boxes except one. His dick isn't very big and he doesn't last long. Instead of cheating I'm considering asking him if he wants to explore like me having sex with someone else in front of him. Bad idea? If I ask him I'm not sure how he would react so I don't ask but at the same time I'm finding myself thinking about getting my needs met with someone else behind his back but we all know that isn't a good idea. Nobody else feel like this is a troll post? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
