Posted January 2, 2022 So I love my bf, he checks all the boxes except one. His dick isn't very big and he doesn't last long. Instead of cheating I'm considering asking him if he wants to explore like me having sex with someone else in front of him. Bad idea? If I ask him I'm not sure how he would react so I don't ask but at the same time I'm finding myself thinking about getting my needs met with someone else behind his back but we all know that isn't a good idea. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 You need to communicate better with your bf what you want. What you said sounds humiliating for him and unfulfilling for you. Tell him what’s missing. Don’t be so scared and run around like that behind his back. that’s going to be worse for your self esteem and reputation in the long run than just working on this or leaving him because you aren’t satisfied. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 if he can also have sex with other women in front of you maybe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 @PurpleTree Yeah not happening. I'll figure it out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 @Lyubov Leaving him for this reason seems stupid. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 But thank you. I will not ask. Bad idea. I don't want him feeling humiliated. I will just have to figure out how to be satisfied once per week for a few minutes or turn up the foreplay and call it "making love" at the end or something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 31 minutes ago, tashadwoodfall said: Instead of cheating I'm considering asking him if he wants to explore like me having sex with someone else in front of him. 11 minutes ago, PurpleTree said: if he can also have sex with other women in front of you maybe 8 minutes ago, tashadwoodfall said: @PurpleTree Yeah not happening. Lol. If you don't break up with him I hope to god he breaks up with you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 @tashadwoodfall I'm guessing what you really want is not a big dick, but for him to deeply satisfy you in bed. A big dick is not necessary for that. How many times does he make you cum per session? Zero? Then that's the problem, not the dick. Lasting longer is something that he can develop. He can also employ other methods to make you cum deeper. The physical size is not what makes you cum hard. A guy who knows what he's doing can make you cum deeper via text messages than you ever came from a big dick. The mind is what makes you cum, not the dick. It sounds like you just need to communicate to him that you're not feeling fully satisfied sexually and you want to explore WITH HIM deeper ways of satisfying you. Encourage him to learn how to satisfy you better in bed. There are so many ways. You can suggest methods, books, courses, videos, toys, tantric techniques, etc. Also you need to be explicit with him about what makes you cum hard. So he understands your needs. Be specific with him. Of course you can also tell him that you want to work on satisfying him deeper in bed too. He will like that part. You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 41 minutes ago, tashadwoodfall said: Bad idea? Yes. - Cheating on him is a terrible thing to do, for yourself and definitely for him. You don't want to carry that with you, and you don't want to leave that with him if he found out. - You don't break up with him because of his size either. That will absolutely crush his self-esteem for many years, and is humiliating. - You also don't suggest to open the relationship or guilt him into being a cuck. That's also humiliating and will have him questioning himself for the remainder of the relationship. You don't really have any of those as options if you have any respect for yourself, him, or the relationship, so don't be a coward and do any of the above. If you really love him what you CAN do is explore other options, and you don't even have to bring them up in a way that says "hey I'm not satisfied". What Leo said is good. Bring toys into the bedroom, learn about different positions, do more foreplay, have slower more intimate sex, have sex more frequently so he lasts longer. He will WANT to get better and learn if you show him. There are a lot of possibilities to remedy this, you don't have to jump to the worst options that will leave him hurt. hrhrhtewgfegege Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 I don't have problems with self respect, perhaps consider that cheating could save the relationship. The problem is our intimacy and perhaps not his size. He is very busy running several businesses and so the lack of time makes it hard for me to get emotionally turned on. And no I have not cummed with him and that's not okay. We will explore but at this point I probably need to bring toys into the mix or something. He's open minded and loves talking about sex but he cums way too quick no matter what so perhaps over time it'll change and I really don't see him spending much time learning about sex either so it feels like the responsibility is mostly mine. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 I wouldn't carry much with me after cheating to be completely honest besides getting my kick out of it and calling it a day. Do you have tons of hot women wanting to have sex with you and a partner you haven't cummed with? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 (edited) He can actually train to control his ejaculation and last longer. ive had this problem in the past and usually experience it if there hasn’t been sex in a long time. There is a skill set here. also, thicker condoms with numbing solution were my go when I was first developing sexual experiences. I’m bisexual and Personally cant be with a guy if he has a small dick… so I feel you there. But, he can still become a wicked lover. Mantak Chia has a book called “The multiorgasmic couple” you two can do the practices. he can learn to last longer and you two can experience more orgasms and full sensuality. ultimately, sex matters in a relationship. Cheating is gonna really hurt him when he finds out… more than a break up. So, leave if you want. Or fix the problem WITH him. Edited January 2, 2022 by Thought Art "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver ◭"89"◮ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 9 minutes ago, tashadwoodfall said: I don't have problems with self respect, perhaps consider that cheating could save the relationship. I'm going to suggest you do have problems with self respect, otherwise you wouldn't be rationalizing that cheating could save the relationship. To respect yourself means that you don't willingly violate your own integrity. If he is busy you could suggest or hint to him you want to spend more time together to build that intimacy and tension up so you can cum and get that release. Why not plan a holiday somewhere private? Or set up a weekly date night so he can't fill it up with work? hrhrhtewgfegege Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 1 hour ago, tashadwoodfall said: His dick isn't very big How big is it? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 12 minutes ago, tashadwoodfall said: And no I have not cummed with him and that's not okay. So the answer here is very simple: Either he gets interested in making you cum on the regular, or you break up with him. You're not breaking up with him because of his dick. You're breaking up with him because he isn't interested in making you cum. Which is a very valid reason to break up with a guy. Why would you want date such a guy? That's not something you can just overlook. That's not some minor, superficial thing. He's being too selfish. You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said: So the answer here is very simple: Either he gets interested in making you cum on the regular, or you break up with him. You're not breaking up with him because of his dick. You're breaking up with him because he isn't interested in making you cum. Which is very valid reason to break up with a guy. Why would you want date such a guy? He might was well be a friend at that point anyway. girl, you deserve to cum like CRAZY. ? but, do so with integrity ? if you ask me ✌️ making a girl cum was a major interest to me since I was in highschool… it’s my favourite part and is super hot if she really cums with her entire being… Guys, get with it lol Edited January 2, 2022 by Thought Art "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver ◭"89"◮ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 (edited) Here's my brutal low consciousness answer: Just do what most people do these days: #1) ask for an open relationship to "explore yourselves" more #2) find big dick guy and fuck his brains out #3) if your man is too busy/not attractive enough, he probably won't find a woman to fuck, so you won't get jealous #4) go back to a monogamous relationship once you get it out of your system or you think you're over it TA-DA! Relationship saved. Cheating is usually the only option if you want the best bang for your buck and want that dopamine rush of doing something bad. However, this depends on how much guilt you will feel and or if you want that looming in your head when you two are having a great time doing something together. Or, you might fall for the big dick guy and dump your current boyfriend and you get best of both worlds? Edited January 2, 2022 by hoodrow trillson Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 (edited) 6 minutes ago, hoodrow trillson said: Here's my brutal low consciousness answer: Just do what most people do these days: #1) ask for an open relationship to "explore yourselves" more #2) find big dick guy and fuck his brains out #3) if your man is too busy/not attractive enough, he probably won't find a woman to fuck, so you won't get jealous #4) go back to a monogamous relationship once you get it out of your system or you think you're over it TA-DA! Relationship saved. Cheating is usually the only option if you want the best bang for your buck and want that dopamine rush of doing something bad. However, this depends on how much guilt you will feel and or if you want that looming in your head when you two are having a great time doing something together. Or, you might fall for the big dick guy and dump your current boyfriend and you get best of both worlds? Yeah, man but… he’s not gonna be happy with that… jealousy would destroy the relationship in all likelihood and why the fuck would she stay with him? if there’s a hotter, cooler guy with a nice cock why not just date him? I know she likes this guy. But, like she said he just isn’t cutting it sexually for her. To me sex is a large part of a relationship. I’ve had to admit that to myself. I have to find you hot, The sex has to be good and we have to be able to be functionally balanced and reciprocal and the other major areas of balance in a relationship…. And we need to be friends and like each other. I want love, conversation, playfulness, joy, cultivation of something… Edited January 2, 2022 by Thought Art "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver ◭"89"◮ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 He doesn't have problems finding women, he has money and well you can fuck almost anything with enough money. It doesn't turn me on don't ask why lol As far as integrity goes I DO see a contradiction with my value of honesty so you got me there. He's not being selfish I don't think, he wants to make me cum he gets hard again afterwards and at that point it's hard for me to be turned on. The solution seems to be to bring a toy into the mix and I should cum first or maybe after and TA DA! Now doing that in a way that doesn't hurt his ego I'll work through it lol. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 2, 2022 Why are you still with this dude out of curiosity? Like what traits does he have that you find attractive? Presumably there are some Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
