Weird relationship with women

[Yoremo]

Hey, so where I grew up the girls and the boys were completely separated (decided by ourselves), and because I didn´t really think that I could be with girls (my parents made me feel very weird about being with girls and I accepted it, I was a child) and so I wasn´t.

So here comes the fucked up part (maybe not as much as I think but whatever)— I can´t really have a good conversation with a girl (nor nonsexual or sexual) without it feeling really weird, it just feels wrong. I feel so separated from girls in a way. Maybe I just need to socialize more with girls but I feel this very weird feeling of non-presence with girls. And this is not insecurity, I think. I just feel really odd with women, I can´t be present and enjoy their company as I can with a guy. I think this is definetely because the lack of socializing with girls in my childhood.

Maybe this is just that I need to be more with women but I would really appreciate your opinions on it.

Edited January 1, 2022 by Yoremo

[Etherial Cat]

@Yoremo

Your situation seems quite normal due to the context you're describing. I suppose you also don't have any female siblings?

I would suggest you to start socializing/befriending women, just as you say. 

 

[Preety_India]

Talk to more women. 

 

[Yoremo]

Well, I have a sister of 9 yrs so yes I do.

I will start to socialize with girls but just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing to just start socializing with women, doesn´t always feel so good to do that for me atm.

[Roy]

20 minutes ago, Yoremo said:

Maybe this is just that I need to be more with women but I would really appreciate your opinions on it.

Sounds like you already know the answer , you're just seeking a little more validation on it.

You're exactly right! You just need to socialize with them more, maybe download some dating apps just to practice talking to them (you don't have to ask to meet them if you don't want). When you're out in public, try to talk to women of all ages, doesn't matter if it's sexual or not. Just interact. Reflect on any avoidant behaviors you have to get away or escape females, and make an effort to stamp those behaviors out.

Trust that, that feeling of "separation" will wither away as you get more experience. Believe me it will.

You don't need to be scared of women either, they don't bite............. well except for a few haha.

[Yoremo]

@Roy yep, probably just seeking validation. A bit scary to throw myself out there but I am so looking forward to it too! Because I am so lonely that the pain of being alone is just a lot more than the pain of socializing at this point. Thank you!

[Roy]

5 minutes ago, Yoremo said:

A bit scary to throw myself out there but I am so looking forward to it too!

The fear is usually prior, once you're actually doing you'll realize it was never really there.

[Username]

@Yoremo I feel disconnected from females too, despite have sisters.

I suppose that it's not really a gender thing. There are females that I'm comfortable taking to. My guess that it's mostly related to personality type. It might be easier to bridge a gap if you talk to another male, but with a female differences become more pronounced.

[Espaim]

Idk I can talk extremely easy to some and it's a hill-climbing task when talking to others. I just stop talking to the ones that are too hard.

And yep, you need to talk to more women to know how to talk to women. That's the way

Edited January 1, 2022 by Espaim

[flowboy]

On 01/01/2022 at 10:06 PM, Yoremo said:

I can´t really have a good conversation with a girl (nor nonsexual or sexual) without it feeling really weird, it just feels wrong

Effect.

On 01/01/2022 at 10:06 PM, Yoremo said:

I think this is definetely because the lack of socializing with girls in my childhood.

Phantom cause.

On 01/01/2022 at 10:06 PM, Yoremo said:

my parents made me feel very weird about being with girls and I accepted it, I was a child

Real cause.

 

Your parents' influence on you doesn't stop when you move out of the house. It's still very much controlling you from your subconscious.

That's where this weird feeling comes from that you can't quite pinpoint.

It's hard to pinpoint because it's part of your shadow, it's coming from your subconscious.

Releasing your childhood conditioning will resolve this.

Shadow work is one way to do that.