Emotions part 1

[Preety_India]

I feel like I have hit emotional puberty. 

Sexual puberty is reached at 16-18 and I think emotional puberty is something that takes years after that. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Update 1 January 3, 2022. 

This sense of emotional puberty feels great. 

I still haven't recovered from the flu. It feels absurd because it never lasts this long. Although it feels better than couple of days ago, my head still feels stuffy and warm. I don't like this feeling. I feel very weak. The only thing that feels better is sipping fruit juice. 

Coles, Flus take out all your energy and cause malaise and weakness. 

I feel I can hardly walk. 

I managed to clean some portion of the garden. But i couldn't complete it. I felt tired and I experienced difficulty in breathing. 

 

Edited January 3, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Update 2 January 3, 2022. 

At the same time despite the challenges of the flu (my face is swollen), I feel the feeling of emotional puberty as the greatest joy of my life. I couldn't have asked for anything better. 

Update 3 January 3, 2022 

I don't feel like participating in the forum again. It feels boring and too many trollish threads. It seems like this forum will be taken over eventually. Feels like it went to shit. Obviously there is nothing new to talk about. The same topics again and again. Leo doesn't come too often either. It's basically gone. Also I never see threads being locked like it used to be before. Now even the worst threads continue on and on. Most people who write substantial answers left the forum long ago, never to return back. In the past 24 hours I saw many trolly threads. I give up. Maybe this is just a phase. But I really intuitively feel this won't last. I give this forum 2 years max. After that it's gone. Because many veteran users left. 

 

Edited January 3, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

This is the best yoga position. 

https://youtube.com/shorts/m4RUCl2RANc?feature=share

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 3, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I have to work in the night now to escape detection. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Put on the music. Put on the light and start painting. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Update 4 January 3, 2022 

 

So 4 hours ago in the middle of the night I began painting the floor. Pictures are here. 

I sat on the floor patiently painting every corner of the portion of the floor that has been used for the garden. It was back breaking (especially given my flu), but at the same time it was very satisfying. 

 

Reminders - 

 

 

 

Put a clip on the curtain (need one more) ♦️

Place a chair in the garden ♦️

Place a mat ♦️(I have placed a small red mat() but not a yoga mat. I need to search for the yoga mat too. ♦️

Clean the place once again✔️

Refill small bottles everyday ✅

Throw away accumulated water ✅

Throw away Pooja waste ✅

Make a dumpster for Pooja waste. Like a rectangular box bin♦️

Remove the chair in the evening ♦️

Clean the area again ✅

Place Holy water ♦️

Place copper pentacle cup next to Goddess Hecate✅

Start worship. One jar used for holy water that is "intention water" to be drank every morning after reciting intentions and another jar for keeping jewelery in intentioned water or talismans or lucky charms energization. ✅

 

 

Edited January 4, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

There are just things that one will never understand. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

On 28/12/2021 at 4:27 PM, Preety_India said:

 

Update 3 December 28

 

I'm feeling much better now. The anxiety has cleared up. Surprising. The anxiety was pretty strong earlier and I was feeling very uncomfortable as though I was going to have a panic Attack. 

And now I feel so much better. 

 

I don't feel as anxious. The guests have left. It's 4.25 pm. 

I want to work on my depression and the void of feeling unaccepted. 

Also I have renewed my spiritual values 

 

It's compassion 

Wisdom 

Judgement 

Maturity. 

Embracing Reality 

 

 

Update 4 December 28

A damask rose and a floribunda rose. 

 

 

 

Time to renew my spiritual values

Compassion and empathy 

Wisdom 

Judgement 

Maturity (general) 

Awareness 

Emotional Maturity 

Embracing Reality 

Supreme Understanding 

 

 

[Preety_India]

These two insights were pretty brilliant. 

On 27/12/2021 at 11:24 PM, Preety_India said:

Also I feel like a lot of stuff that Leo says doesn't make sense or that it creates confusion. And that's unhealthy. 

Because it doesn't look practically applicable. 

This is a form of delusion. Because it makes you believe that something is possible but when you try to apply it to real life situations, it doesn't work. 

This is what I meant by "freeing myself from Delusions." you simply cannot go on with an idealogy in life like I always used to. It clashes with reality at some point. You'll have to acknowledge aspects of reality that are simply unchangeable. 

You cannot magically make your past disappear. 

It won't go away. It won't change. 

Living in denial is living in falsehood. 

At some point this delusion has to break. 

You need to outgrow your ideological state of mind that believes that anything and everything is possible. 

This thought came to me yesterday that I lived in an ideological state for so long. I simply didn't want to break out of it because reality was far too uncomfortable to deal with. So yes ideology made sense. 

Yet when I pondered deeper into it, I asked myself this question — what if I never acknowledged reality for what it is, and what would happen if reality kept continuing in its own way. Wouldn't that be like deluding myself? 

How would survival make any sense if I kept running away from it? 

There were suddenly aspects appearing in my mind like - someone falling ill, someone becoming victim of corruption, someone being punished for being honest. 

Can my ideology accommodate these realities? 

And then suddenly whatever Leo said did not make any sense at all. 

Leo talked about love. But how would love make any sense in a world full of division? 

Yea you have lots of thoughts in your mind on how things should happen, what good you can create in this world. Yet.... It doesn't exactly go according to plan. 

Things finally unfold as reality becomes crystal clear and sharp and eventually events unfold in such a way that you start to see the Brutal face of reality and it dawns on you that all that you thought and all that you planned has simply turned into a futile adventure / it was only in your head after all. What's the point if reality had to completely invalidate all your theories and dreams and beliefs. 

This is where you delude yourself into thinking about all sorts of things that will change reality 

I'm not saying that reality can't be changed. 

For example, there are more vegans today than let's say 300 years ago. Yes reality does change. Reality has changed with respect to veganism.

But you have to see context. Reality is only changing when you see the roots of such a fundamental change. 

 

Reality does not change if there is no context. If you don't see a Foundation. You can literally see that things are either stagnant or very bad. 

 

I almost came to my last spiritual concept. And that is acceptance of reality. 

My spirituality Ascended into different stages. 3 stages particularly. 

The first stage was empathy and compassion and they were absolutely the most important spiritual qualities to have.. 

The second stage was when I realized that wisdom and judgement were the top spiritual values and not compassion.. 

And the last stage is where I realize that without embracing reality, true spirituality is incomplete. 

So you got 3 

• Compassion (obviously there is no denying that compassion is necessary)
• Wisdom and judgement
• Accepting and embracing reality rather than fighting it. 

This makes a lot of sense spiritually to me. 

 

 

 

 

On 28/12/2021 at 1:11 AM, Preety_India said:

I had a wonderful insight just now 

This will go well with my spiritual concepts 

 

It is about the nature of reality. 

I think that there are two types of realities - one is constructive reality and the other is destructive reality. 

Lets explain with an example. 

Lets say you have an item dispenser in a room. Imagine the room to be a huge place. Now if you lose anything here it's hard to find. The easier option is to use the dispenser machine. Press the button on the machine and you instantly get whatever you were looking for. This is scenario 1.

Scenario 2 is that the dispenser button doesn't work. So you keep pressing it, and nothing happens. In this case, you have to fetch the item yourself by looking for it throughout the whole room. Or you keep trying to repair the dispenser and wait for your item, but any of these is simply waste of time. 

How you adjust and adapt to these realities is all up to you. 

There are 3 components here 

• Awareness of reality 
• Understanding of reality 
• Adapting to reality 

You have to first be aware that a certain reality exists. A certain frame exists. You have to be able to perfectly recognize and grasp this reality. This is the awareness stage. 

The second stage is the understanding stage. In this stage, you have to understand and differentiate between constructive reality and destructive reality. You have to understand what kind of reality you're exactly dealing with. 

 

The third stage is where you need to adapt to this reality. 

 

In this stage you learn to either adapt to your constructive reality or you dissociate from destructive reality. 

You're foolish if you don't adapt to constructive reality. You're unaware and naive if you don't dissociate from destructive reality. 

Foolish means you're simply not using enough common sense. 

Naive means you're not well aware of certain things. You probably could have done better if only you had known better. 

 

Now consider scenario 1. 

The reality is that the dispenser works.  But if you don't recognize  this, you might end up wasting your time searching the whole room for the item. It would be foolish to not try the button at all.  Maybe it could have saved all the effort. So not using the dispenser button is not adapting to reality. It's a constructive reality and getting along with constructive reality is wisdom. Getting away from constructive reality is detrimental and a waste of time. You're doing things that you shouldn't be investing your time and resources into. This is very harmful and it's stupid. 

Now consider scenario 2

The dispenser doesn't work. In this case,  if you keep trying yo work with it, that's like not being able to properly adjust to reality, not realizing that you're constantly trying to adapt to it, when such an option won't work at all. You're constantly trying to repair something that simply won't work. That's a waste of time. And it's detrimental. It's like trying to fix an abusive relationship thinking that it would be alright one day,  hoping that things will be better, this is a false hope. This doesn't work. You continue to lose more time ending up with nothing and things keep getting worse.  Instead you could have used this time to better other areas of your life. It's a snowballing effect. You're engaged with something thats a permanent source of negativity and the more you engage with it, the worse it gets. It's best to dissociate yourself from trying to fix the dispenser and wasting time on it.. 

You have to realize that trying to adapt to it is a waste of time and effort and is eventually a lose lose game. It leads you downspiralling into more chaos and problems. You are frustrated that you just can't fix it. You keep spending more time trying to fix when the real solution is not "trying to fix it, " but to understand and see how much damage it has already done and how much more damage it can cause if you continue thinking that you can fix it. 

Another example that I can come up with is that of - a government bank that just does not do it's job and continues to  make you wait till eternity versus a private bank that easily and quickly handles the task and delivers you a result. 

You have to switch from the government bank to the private bank to get peace of mind. 

In short change your reality. 

Learn when to adapt to it and when to dissociate from it. 

 

This was an important spiritual lesson. 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Another spiritual value 

• Aligning with goodness and healthy/health 

 

✿۞✿•.¸¸.•*`*•✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

 

 

Compassion and empathy 

Wisdom 

Judgement 

Maturity (general) 

Awareness 

Emotional Maturity 

Embracing Reality 

Supreme Understanding 

Aligning with goodness and healthy/health 

 

 

Edited January 4, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Update 1 January 4, 2022 

I'm feeling sick and tired again. It's Jan 4 already. I'm too exhausted and feeling weak. My nose was bleeding again. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Chose some words

• fluffyöy fluffling
• My delightful adorable hippling
• My happy hippling
• sun-kissed suppling
• Duckworthy duckling
• marcellus muppling
• Charming chunkling
  Marmalade mumbling
  Cuddly Canoodling
  Honey humpling
  Yummy lovepudding
• My adorable chunkling
• My apple sapling 
•  my sweet mumbling
• .. 
• Herzblättchen pudding
• Sweet pudding
• sweet creative lovepudding
• Sweet suckling
• Darling dumpling 
•  

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

*Chooses all of them because they are super sweet and makes a verbalistic mess  trying to say all of them at the same time 

[Preety_India]

I have to make two distinctions. 

• Ideology (that my mind usually gets stuck in) 
• Reality (completely different from what I'm thinking) 

 

[Preety_India]

One way to differentiate reality from ideology is to come home and ask yourself —

Is this real? 

Does this correlate with reality? 

How is reality in relation to what is being described? 

This questions and the answers to these questions will cut down a lot of bullshit that comes with idealizing and philosophizing. 

Philosophizing is a bit like mental masturbating. You concoct stories and they serve your mental purpose/dissonance/conundrum. Yet they are not present in reality.. 

A good example to easily separate ideology from reality is this thread —

One can see layers of deception here. The deception lies in convincing oneself that things should be a certain way. That we need to show compassion for pedophiles. Yet does that correlate with reality? 

Absolutely not. Because in reality pedophiles go to prison. So all these whimsical ideas do not hold any foundation or ground in reality. 

You see? 

This becomes philosophizing. It's fiction. 

A very good example of what real is this —

This makes sense because the racial wealth gap in the United States is not an invention of the mind, its not philosophy or ideology. It's not just a thought. It's an actual fact, an actual phenomenon and an actual reality. It has happened and it's happening. 

Often when we start talking about an issue or begin to debate the public perception of such an issue, we're mentally masturbating and not drawing any parallels with reality. We get lost in our worldviews and paradigms and lose touch with reality. Not realizing that whatever we think might (or might not) be a great idea yet it has absolutely no ground in reality. Reality will continue as it has always been and very little will change about it, whether we like it or not. Embracing and accepting it is a part of humbling our pride and ego.

Edited January 5, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Almost every thread on this forum can be divided into — ideology and reality. Reject the ideological component of every sentence I read here and accept the reality component. 

 

[Preety_India]

For example this thread has elements of both ideology and reality. 

Reality says that's its absolutely essential to brush your teeth. 

Ideology tries to convince oneself that it might not be. 

We weave ideologies to satisfy the conflicts in our mind. 

The fact that something "should be this way" is far more satisfying than "this is how it is and deal with it." 

But this is a huge trap. I'll call it the ideological trap. 

One way to get out of this trap is to simply correlate more with reality than a bunch of expectations and desirable outcomes in your head.

 

Edited January 5, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

One way to easily spot and perhaps even overcome the ideological trap is to ask a very simple question at every piece of information or thought before it's processed and ingrained. 

The question is —

Does this become meaningful and worthwhile in the context of reality? 

This easily separates oil from water, wheat from chaff. 

It separates a thought from a phenomenon and helps to achieve clarity while entertaining too many issues/opinions /ideas in the mind. 

And finally it doesn't stop to only asking if things correlate to reality but to even see how absolutely essential something is to you. And if it's not, just discard it  into your mental bin. 

That's where it should go. 

 

 

Employ this simple technique to declutter your mind.

 

Edited January 5, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

18 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

Update 4 January 3, 2022 

 

So 4 hours ago in the middle of the night I began painting the floor. Pictures are here. 

I sat on the floor patiently painting every corner of the portion of the floor that has been used for the garden. It was back breaking (especially given my flu), but at the same time it was very satisfying. 

 

Reminders - 

 

 

 

Put a clip on the curtain (need one more) ♦️

Place a chair in the garden ♦️

Place a mat ♦️(I have placed a small red mat() but not a yoga mat. I need to search for the yoga mat too. ♦️

Clean the place once again✔️

Refill small bottles everyday ✅

Throw away accumulated water ✅

Throw away Pooja waste ✅

Make a dumpster for Pooja waste. Like a rectangular box bin♦️

Remove the chair in the evening ♦️

Clean the area again ✅

Place Holy water ♦️

Place copper pentacle cup next to Goddess Hecate✅

Start worship. One jar used for holy water that is "intention water" to be drank every morning after reciting intentions and another jar for keeping jewelery in intentioned water or talismans or lucky charms energization. ✅