If looks for guys are not that important why pretty girls tend to date attractive guy

[Federico del pueblo]

It is all fairly simple. Looks do matter to girls or make a difference, but not as much as they do for us guys.

So of course girls ideally want a guy who is good looking, especially if they are good looking themselves. If the girl is not so good looking herself she will at some point end up realising that she (usually) can't have the hot guy, so she'll lower her standards and take a guy who's about as good looking as her.

The girl who is good looking herself can have all kinds of guys, including very good looking ones, very successful ones, popular ones etc.

So if she can have good looking ones why would she not choose them most of the time? She can so she does.

And then you have the guys who are not as good looking but still can have good looking girls. If they don't have the looks, they must have something else and this is either good game or high status or similar things (like being a popular guy etc.) or a combination of these things.

If you don't have the good looks then basically you have to compensate and develop a personality that is extraordinary which encapsulates things like good game, humor, confidence, charisma etc.

And it shouldn't come as a surprise that doing this is not easy, given that because of your average looks you don't get a lot of positive social feedback from the attractive girls. You must develop the level of confidence of someone who's received positive validation his entire life, like one of these children actors, without ever having received a whole lot of it, so naturally this is not gonna happen for a lot of guys.

So the not so good looking guys do what their female counterpart does, they assume they can't have the attractive girls, lower their standards and settle for girls who are less physically attractive.

That's it.

[Lyubov]

Looks are super subjective. I’ve seen lots of hot girls with physically average looking guys but here is the thing… the guy looks good because he dresses nice, takes care of himself, has a sense of fashion, looks confident cause he has a hot woman, etc. So usually I find it’s very hard to find a guy unattractive if he has a hot gf cause he takes care of himself and looks happy. I’ve rarely if ever seen a truly unhappy horribly maintained guy with a hot woman. Even the most chubby guys I’ve seen with a hot gf look happy and handsome and take good care of themselves. 

Edited January 1, 2022 by Lyubov

[Leo Gura]

15 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

@Leo Gura I am not talking about wings i am talking about normal life. Experienced wingmen are outliers, anomalies, trained warriors, they are not the norm. If you talk to 2000 girls of course you will manage to get some of them. I am talking about your university, your circle of friends, your workplace or your mall. Everyday places basically. Plus you know you can be short, asian, black etc and still be super good looking. Zac Efron is like 5 7 or something (just saying).

Look, the reality is that there is a sexual marketplace. Every actor in this marketplace is trying to maximize value. This being the case, of course the highest value actors will tend to hook up with other high value actors.

If you got no game and low social value, then yeah, your looks matter more because you got little else of value to offer.

For looks not to matter so much you gotta develop either game or social value. Ideally both.

The real question here is: How much value are you bringing to the negotiating table as a man? This value can take many different forms, from status to friends to leadership skills to spiritual connection to looks.

When people hook up through dating apps they are basically sorting themselves by looks.

[Preety_India]

43 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Look, the reality is that there is a sexual marketplace. Every actors in this marketplace is trying to maximize value. This being the case, of course the highest value actors will tend to hook up with other high value actors.

If you got no game and low social value, then yeah, your looks matter more because you got little else of value to offer.

For looks not to matter so much you gotta develop either game or social value. Ideally both.

The real question here is: How much value are you bringing to the negotiating table as a man? This value can take many different forms, from status to friends to leadership skills to spiritual connection to looks.

When people hook up through dating apps they are basically sorting themselves by looks.

Lmao you should have given this answer long ago. Much time would have been saved that way. 

You always come to the point in the end. 

[ertopolice]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Look, the reality is that there is a sexual marketplace. Every actor in this marketplace is trying to maximize value. This being the case, of course the highest value actors will tend to hook up with other high value actors.

If you got no game and low social value, then yeah, your looks matter more because you got little else of value to offer.

For looks not to matter so much you gotta develop either game or social value. Ideally both.

The real question here is: How much value are you bringing to the negotiating table as a man? This value can take many different forms, from status to friends to leadership skills to spiritual connection to looks.

When people hook up through dating apps they are basically sorting themselves by looks.

f.e those still young shy gym hotties that are on the process of becoming their bestselves (at least physically, i guess). I.ve always thought there should be something with them going on internally.

Regarding females, we females on here appreciate your input @Leo Gura hahaha.  I recently met a guy with good game (intellectual material game..) nice physique (been improving it during the last years and got some issues with his weight in the past) and low social value (bit of a loner, bit pissed off with society, still living at mum's because he plan to change his job..someday in near future..). I liked him because of his "theoretical" mindset and views, though...but it has had still no result in practical life. In addition, he claims to have been lied regarding physical appearance and that always asks for 10s hahaha.

What advice would you give to an independent (finances herself but also enjoys her own company), ok looks (people say attractive, slim, nice looking), fitness/health concerned, mind-body-soul oriented female reading these...."on the process" guys? this guy is 35, btw. I am still on my process but come on..i always tend to dispatch with most guys of my age. 

Are we lost regarding finding someone compatible?

 

[Javfly33]

On 1/1/2022 at 5:11 AM, Preety_India said:

Looks are important just like looks are important to men. 

This applies to every gender. 

 

Obviously this is incorrect.

I Will Absolutely fuck a Girl if its enough Hot physically for me, no Matter how nazy, stupid, or trump supporter he is, LoL.

This doesnt happen to Girls. 

You can be good looking But if you behave in weird, creepy,akward, beta ways etc most Girls wont be attracted to you to sleep to you.

 

[Preety_India]

14 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Obviously this is incorrect.

I Will Absolutely fuck a Girl if its enough Hot physically for me, no Matter how nazy, stupid, or trump supporter he is, LoL.

This doesnt happen to Girls. 

You can be good looking But if you behave in weird, creepy,akward, beta ways etc most Girls wont be attracted to you to sleep to you.

 

What I meant to say is that looks are important either way. This is not to discount character. If the guy is great in other ways but lacks in looks, the girl is most likely not going to be attracted. This does not imply that other traits aren't important, yet looks go with them and get factored in as well. In other words, complete package. 

 

[Federico del pueblo]

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

I Will Absolutely fuck a Girl if its enough Hot physically for me, no Matter how nazy, stupid, or trump supporter he is, LoL.

Which is something you absolutely need to change.

[Javfly33]

38 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Which is something you absolutely need to change.

 

If you are in abundance, you might have the benefit of being able of being selective and including a certain level of Consciousness requirement to date or have sex with anyone.

I am.not in that level though yet, so give me a break dude, handle the shame or guilt you want to project onto my desires yourself. Cause aint taking It, I completely accept myself.

[Federico del pueblo]

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

 so give me a break dude

Ok, I give you a break Take it slowly my man!

Quote

handle the shame or guilt you want to project onto my desires yourself

Maybe you're projecting something onto me yourself?!

 

Anyway we don't need to get in a little ego war here, ok? So let's calm down. I'm just telling you that as a long term strategy it will help you to you raise your standards to improve your results, but do whatever is necessary for you now.

[Javfly33]

2 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

 I'm just telling you that as a long term strategy it will help you to you raise your standards to improve your results, but do whatever is necessary for you now.

How so? ?

[Federico del pueblo]

1 minute ago, Javfly33 said:

How so? ?

For several reasons.

First of all it can be used as an attraction technique, because if you have standards it communicates to a girl that you must have abundance, because without abundance you wouldn't be able to be picky (which is why qualification is a thing in pick up too, it's basically pretending to have standards).

Ideally though you don't just pretend to have standards but actually develop them.

Because without real standards you're constantly gonna have to put up with shitty behaviours from girls or girls who are just boring or lame or nasty, drama queens etc.

This is closely linked to having boundaries too. Boundaries are basically your standards for the behaviours you are willing or unwilling too accept from others.

And linked to this is your willingness to (actually) walk away from a girl. Because you can't force anyone to accept your boundaries, nor to meet your standards, so you might have to choose to quit the interaction/relationship if it's not satisfactory for you, which ironically can make you more attractive again so that the other might then actually adapt their behaviour.

If a situation calls for it I might say something like "Well, you and I just talk, and the moment it's not fun for you anymore, feel free to leave, as will I, ok?"

[ertopolice]

1 hour ago, Federico del pueblo said:

For several reasons.

First of all it can be used as an attraction technique, because if you have standards it communicates to a girl that you must have abundance, because without abundance you wouldn't be able to be picky (which is why qualification is a thing in pick up too, it's basically pretending to have standards).

Ideally though you don't just pretend to have standards but actually develop them.

Because without real standards you're constantly gonna have to put up with shitty behaviours from girls or girls who are just boring or lame or nasty, drama queens etc.

This is closely linked to having boundaries too. Boundaries are basically your standards for the behaviours you are willing or unwilling too accept from others.

And linked to this is your willingness to (actually) walk away from a girl. Because you can't force anyone to accept your boundaries, nor to meet your standards, so you might have to choose to quit the interaction/relationship if it's not satisfactory for you, which ironically can make you more attractive again so that the other might then actually adapt their behaviour.

If a situation calls for it I might say something like "Well, you and I just talk, and the moment it's not fun for you anymore, feel free to leave, as will I, ok?"

It's literally the case of the last guy i contacted with

She seemed so damm attractive because of this of his "high standards"

[Javfly33]

@Federico del pueblo I get you. I agree. But I think you can´t fake high standards. They will be developed as you have more sex, feel / create more Love energy around your aurea, stop idealizing women so much...etc.

 

[Federico del pueblo]

@Javfly33

It's definitely a long term process, that's for sure.

[Arcangelo]

OMG!

Here

we

go

again.