Strange Past Experiences

[Illusory Self]

I don't really have that much memories of my early childhood years but I do have a few experiences that I do remember. I remember that I was always very afraid of the dark when I would go to sleep & would look at some posters on the wall and would remember seeing the eyes move on it. I used to have horrible dreams a lot of the time when I was a child to the point where I felt that I physically rolled out of bed in order to make the dream stop. It's strange, I had such a different state of consciousness when I was younger. Do these experiences mean anything? The main ones I do remember however are.. 

1. One night when I was laying in bed, I actually saw a very large ogre of some sorts, doing a walking motion. Not moving however. I got so terrified by it, that I got out of bed in fear & ran into my mums bed. I must of been around 5 then. 

2. I remember sleeping in some kind of cot and i saw an actual sheep, I think it was. Right next to me... That is all I remember from that situation, I kind of felt the feeling that it had my back & I was loved. 

3. This one was really strange, I was in a room by myself, with the lights off. So it was pitch black & I could see nothing at all. I was the only one in the room. I felt someone tapping on my back. I could never make sense of that memory. It really freaked me out at the time though. 

 

I honestly felt like I was a completely different person when I was younger, like I am the complete opposite now. I rarely dream, Not afraid of the dark or anything. I think when I was younger I had a lot more fear but seeing things made and feeling things maybe made it worse. 

 

Do these experiences I had in my past mean much? or indicate anything?

[Tim R]

9 minutes ago, Illusory Self said:

I had such a different state of consciousness when I was younger

10 minutes ago, Illusory Self said:

I honestly felt like I was a completely different person when I was younger, like I am the complete opposite now. I rarely dream, Not afraid of the dark or anything. I think when I was younger I had a lot more fear but seeing things made and feeling things maybe made it worse. 

That's quite normal, as we grow up, we can change a lot. Don't worry abut it, what you're describing sounds perfectly natural and healthy.

Most adults view children differently, they are much more forgiving of their deviations in consciousness and experiences, but also somewhat condescending. They often don't regard the experience of children as quite valid, they just think "oh well, they're children, they're not developed yet, who cares". Something like that. 

What your dreams mean, only you can know. Try to find out if, and how these things still influence you today. Incompletely digested childhood experience still tends to manifest itself in some way in our so called "adult" selves.

[Nahm]

Perhaps you’re taking a look at what fear actually is, and some dots are connecting as to when you first created it, as a means of seeing through it. 

[happyhappy]

On 12/31/2021 at 7:15 PM, Illusory Self said:

I don't really have that much memories of my early childhood years but I do have a few experiences that I do remember. I remember that I was always very afraid of the dark when I would go to sleep & would look at some posters on the wall and would remember seeing the eyes move on it. I used to have horrible dreams a lot of the time when I was a child to the point where I felt that I physically rolled out of bed in order to make the dream stop. It's strange, I had such a different state of consciousness when I was younger. Do these experiences mean anything? The main ones I do remember however are.. 

1. One night when I was laying in bed, I actually saw a very large ogre of some sorts, doing a walking motion. Not moving however. I got so terrified by it, that I got out of bed in fear & ran into my mums bed. I must of been around 5 then. 

2. I remember sleeping in some kind of cot and i saw an actual sheep, I think it was. Right next to me... That is all I remember from that situation, I kind of felt the feeling that it had my back & I was loved. 

3. This one was really strange, I was in a room by myself, with the lights off. So it was pitch black & I could see nothing at all. I was the only one in the room. I felt someone tapping on my back. I could never make sense of that memory. It really freaked me out at the time though. 

 

I honestly felt like I was a completely different person when I was younger, like I am the complete opposite now. I rarely dream, Not afraid of the dark or anything. I think when I was younger I had a lot more fear but seeing things made and feeling things maybe made it worse. 

 

Do these experiences I had in my past mean much? or indicate anything?

I think they don't mean anything other than a vivid imagination we have in our childhood. 

I too used to be a totally different person when I was young. now everything has changed ! 

 

[BipolarGrowth]

I had an alien abduction dream when I was about 8 years old. It was more real and vivid than reality. When I woke up, I felt a cold hand touch my arm. Belief is a powerful creator of phenomena in direct experience. Belief powered by intense fear in a low sensory input environment like the dark while being a child is like taking a natural psychedelic. When I was 25, I took ayahuasca in ceremony for the first time. Three days later, I got the strong intuition to contact the aliens who abducted me. I researched how, which was surprisingly easily, and it worked within three seconds. It was my first strong sober accessing of the crown chakra. That later turned into the foundation of my growth of my baseline state of consciousness, something 10 tabs of LSD or 5.87 grams of mushrooms and years of meditation was ineffective at. Within about six months, I gained a degree of mastery over the crown chakra and was able to use it to connect with many different archetypal representations of other beings, mainly divine ones, within my own mind. Practicing this eventually lead to my first heart chakra nuclear explosion. A couple months later, I had a dual heart chakra/crown chakra explosion which resulted in me reaching nirodha samapatti/cessation/fruition/whatever you’d like to call it. My baseline consciousness radically transformed day after day ever since. My ability to deal with suffering is exponentially better than it was before the events I described. 
 

So, these childhood fear experiences can be very beneficial if you recontextualize them into Love. The same aliens who abducted me were also the same ones who helped me to overcome my depression and many aspects of my bipolar disorder, whether they exist in any sort of objectively-verifiable way or not. If it’s real in your mind, it’s prime fodder to use in your awakening cannon. Transmute the childhood fear to adult love, if you can find a way to do that.