Madness Or Almost Enlightenment? Please Need Advice

[Emerald]

Just now, Visionary said:

@Emerald Wilkins

Yeah, 

I don't know if it is a healthy relationship, you know? I have a refugee background, all the struggle she went through as a lonely mom, for me and my sisters, all the tough times and crying. I have the feeling i can never repay her for all those hard times. I almost made it my life mission to keep her happy until she dies. How can i detach from that?

Would you advice me to stop meditation completely for a while? My body also feels very tired after this fever. Completely drained.

 

You could give meditation a break for a few days. But if you want to continue with meditation to remain consistent, I recommend doing body scan meditations. This will help you ground your awareness more in your physical experience. It seems to me that you've gotten to a place where your mental experience is becoming difficult to control, so you want to starve that of attention and energy for a while. There is a saying (very clumsily paraphrased) "Thoughts are like paper tigers, they seem real and scary. But they can't harm you and if you don't feed them, they die a natural death." Give yourself some rest and allow yourself to heal from your fever. And get out in nature a bit. There is a process called Earthing where you walk barefoot on the ground to balance your charge out. The idea is that daily life and getting caught up with the mental life (and being around technology, radio signals, etc.) produces a lot of positive ions in a person's electrical field. So, because the ground has negative ions, this helps ground you and balance out the charge by pairing off the positive ions with negative ions. So, you're essentially grounding yourself in the same way that you may ground any other conductor of electricity. This is helpful in modern societies because most people never go outside with their shoes off, when in the past it was more common to walk barefoot from time to time. 

[abrakamowse]

@Emerald Wilkins Cool!!

:-)

[Emerald]

8 minutes ago, Visionary said:

@Emerald Wilkins

Yeah, 

I don't know if it is a healthy relationship, you know? I have a refugee background, all the struggle she went through as a lonely mom, for me and my sisters, all the tough times and crying. I have the feeling i can never repay her for all those hard times. I almost made it my life mission to keep her happy until she dies. How can i detach from that?

Would you advice me to stop meditation completely for a while? My body also feels very tired after this fever. Completely drained.

 

Oh... and also (I forgot to put this in my last message) when it comes to letting go of this mission to keep your mom happy, you'll want to try to let go of those beliefs. So, if that thought comes into your mind, you should actively question its validity from all angles. Then allow it to be there, but don't pay it much attention. It too, is another paper tiger. But I wouldn't get into this right now. If I were you, I would take a break for at least a week or two before doing any mental or spiritual contemplations. But when you feel sufficiently grounded, you can come back to this issues and systematically become aware of, question, observes, and let go of unhelpful beliefs. 

[Guest Annetta]

@Visionary Good luck!!  <3

[Visionary]

7 minutes ago, Emerald Wilkins said:

Oh... and also (I forgot to put this in my last message) when it comes to letting go of this mission to keep your mom happy, you'll want to try to let go of those beliefs. So, if that thought comes into your mind, you should actively question its validity from all angles. Then allow it to be there, but don't pay it much attention. It too, is another paper tiger. But I wouldn't get into this right now. If I were you, I would take a break for at least a week or two before doing any mental or spiritual contemplations. But when you feel sufficiently grounded, you can come back to this issues and systematically become aware of, question, observes, and let go of unhelpful beliefs. 

Thank you very much Emerald, much much appreciated! Blessings. Will follow this advice.

 

4 minutes ago, Wormon Blatburm said:

@Visionary There's nothing wrong with attachment. You just can't take it too seriously. It's a paradox I think, because even after you've seen that it's all just a game, you need to keep the game going.

Maya doesn't disappear, only the ignorance is undone,  as Rupert Spira said

You are right my man. Also about the ego: i have ignored it for a very long time. I was afraid to apply self-love, because this could strengthen it. Even though everyone said you need a healthy ego to detach from everything, Very neurotic behaviour because of this. Time to take the foot of the pedal.

[Bob84]

Dont forget that you are also attached on detaching from ego. The whole search for enlightenment is ego and attachment. Which is fine (hence the reason your searing) but simply being aware of this fact and being honest with your "self" does help.

Also this might sound silly but, wanting something and being attached to something is not the same. "I want to go on vacation dammit!", but its fine if i don't go because i am not attached to that thought (that thought is a thought and i am its observer, that doesn't give a shit).

[Arman]

On 1/4/2017 at 0:13 PM, Visionary said:

 

@Arman my man you've had experience with this before didn't you? How did you handle this? I can recall you warned me about this. I did nothing unusual to trigger this. Meditate an hour a day and just got "sick"

Simply did the best I could, hehe. What else can be done brother? 

Energetic experiences like this are rough and can be devastating. There is temporary upset and then it's like being rewired - in my experience, it is for the best. 

Not to worry. Sometimes it seems that these things can't be avoided. 

My suggestion is to forget trying to find insight in the experience. There's no need to play witch-doctor, how much use can we hope to find trying to decipher fevered dreams and visions? The psyche can be a mess at the best of times. During energetic experiences, it can be insanity. Sure maybe it was related to some deep inner truths and potent understandings... but, if there is clarity and insight to be had, it will come naturally, and when it does it will be more clear, peaceful. This comes with time. Allow the experience to do what it was meant to do, and release the need to know why/how/what. Take reassurance in knowing others have gone through similar experiences and come out healthy and happy. 

Forget anything other than basic well-being. Make yourself a cup of tea. 

@Emerald Wilkins Gave good advice imo. Practical stuff is the best stuff in these circumstances. Take barefoot walks, eat clean, stay rested, do things you enjoy. Avoid over-digestion of spiritual material. 

As for your meditation - 

I suggest that it is optimal to scale back sitting practices. Avoid pranayamas and practices that focus on third eye or crown. 

Pacing: 

If you wish to meditate, try 15 minutes once or twice a day of breath based meditation or simple mindfulness. That is my recommendation. You then see the effects it had on you. The reason we start small is to check for sensitivity. After experiences like this it can be common to be oversensitive. Sometimes it's referred to as over-purification. 

If the meditation caused discomfort, imbalance, difficulty sleeping, etc - then scale it back. Eg. 5 minutes. If you found it didn't leave you unbalanced and uncomfortable, then maintain the amount for 2-3 days - see if it is still balanced, and then increase by 10 minute increments, and test to see how that makes you feel. If it's ok, then maintain that amount for another 2-3 days. Rinse and repeat until intuition says to stay. 

If even 5 minutes is causing difficulty, avoid sitting practices for a while. 

You get the general idea - pacing, patience, and don't dive right back in. Eventually you can resume all practices.

So not to worry. Bit of a challenge, but good things ahead. How are you feeling now? 

Edited January 7, 2017 by Arman

[Visionary]

On 07/01/2017 at 3:36 AM, Arman said:

Simply did the best I could, hehe. What else can be done brother? 

Energetic experiences like this are rough and can be devastating. There is temporary upset and then it's like being rewired - in my experience, it is for the best. 

Not to worry. Sometimes it seems that these things can't be avoided. 

My suggestion is to forget trying to find insight in the experience. There's no need to play witch-doctor, how much use can we hope to find trying to decipher fevered dreams and visions? The psyche can be a mess at the best of times. During energetic experiences, it can be insanity. Sure maybe it was related to some deep inner truths and potent understandings... but, if there is clarity and insight to be had, it will come naturally, and when it does it will be more clear, peaceful. This comes with time. Allow the experience to do what it was meant to do, and release the need to know why/how/what. Take reassurance in knowing others have gone through similar experiences and come out healthy and happy. 

Forget anything other than basic well-being. Make yourself a cup of tea. 

@Emerald Wilkins Gave good advice imo. Practical stuff is the best stuff in these circumstances. Take barefoot walks, eat clean, stay rested, do things you enjoy. Avoid over-digestion of spiritual material. 

As for your meditation - 

I suggest that it is optimal to scale back sitting practices. Avoid pranayamas and practices that focus on third eye or crown. 

Pacing: 

If you wish to meditate, try 15 minutes once or twice a day of breath based meditation or simple mindfulness. That is my recommendation. You then see the effects it had on you. The reason we start small is to check for sensitivity. After experiences like this it can be common to be oversensitive. Sometimes it's referred to as over-purification. 

If the meditation caused discomfort, imbalance, difficulty sleeping, etc - then scale it back. Eg. 5 minutes. If you found it didn't leave you unbalanced and uncomfortable, then maintain the amount for 2-3 days - see if it is still balanced, and then increase by 10 minute increments, and test to see how that makes you feel. If it's ok, then maintain that amount for another 2-3 days. Rinse and repeat until intuition says to stay. 

If even 5 minutes is causing difficulty, avoid sitting practices for a while. 

You get the general idea - pacing, patience, and don't dive right back in. Eventually you can resume all practices.

So not to worry. Bit of a challenge, but good things ahead. How are you feeling now? 

Blessings bro. Thank you very much for the useful advice. Just starting to pick up the meditation habit slowly again (after 3 weeks or so). Feel kinda grounded more or less. Though during my meditation session the energy in the crown kinda got wild again. Annoying and a bit painful at times.

I think i'll focus on shadow work the next period. Been neglecting my ego for faaaaar too long brother. Time to fully accept and love the wounded bastard

Peace bruv