Black America Ravaged by Feminism

[Raptorsin7]

14 minutes ago, Fearless_Bum said:

@Raptorsin7 yes. All of our political actions are usually born out of fear, which is why we are always in a state of "everything is barely holding on but we are okay! ?". 

It's so simple, just move from a place of Love, but the masochistic-self needs to prove that pain makes gain. So on and on goes the cycle. 

I agree, I just wanted to see if you were ideologically consistent.

 

[Opo]

On 30/12/2021 at 7:53 AM, Raptorsin7 said:

Single motherhood, incarceration rates, violence and incarceration, wealth gap, etc. 

1 hour ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Once you acknowledge that individuals have some choice and power in determining their own lot in life then asking questions about why people are making certain choices and how to change those individual choices and beliefs, will necessarily prove some conservative talking points have some truth,

Why are black people choosing all that stuff at the beginning? 

[Raptorsin7]

@Opo Ask god idk

[Opo]

5 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Opo Ask god idk

Then what did you mean by "asking questions about why people are making certain choices and how to change those individual choices and beliefs, will necessarily prove some conservative talking points have some truth" 

[Raptorsin7]

3 minutes ago, Opo said:

Then what did you mean by "asking questions about why people are making certain choices and how to change those individual choices and beliefs, will necessarily prove some conservative talking points have some truth" 

Oh. Well idk why people hold discordant views. It's like when the christians burned witches or killed native amercians in the name of christ. Idk why they held those beliefs and attitudes, but ultimately they were responsible for changing those beliefs and behaviors.

No one would say that those christians crusaders were only part of a system and they held no accountability for why they were how they were

[Opo]

35 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

No one would say that those christians crusaders were only part of a system and they held no accountability for why they were how they were

Why not? 

[Raptorsin7]

3 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Well, that's because these are situations black people/black women have been put into by other collective forces. 

Single motherhood, incarceration rates, violence and incarceration, wealth gap, etc.- are not solely the problem of black women and black men in general. Which is why it warrants a collective response.

I am not arguing that we should completely stop any kind of collective response.

4 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Black women do not chose single motherhood. Children are made by both men and females as far as we are aware. And a man can impregnate 100 women a year while a single woman can only make 1 baby. Where is the accountability asked for those black men getting these girls pregnant? And where is the accountability asked for those who've been incarcerating black men?  Is it so difficult to understand that a teenage girl who grows up without a father figure, and is sent back to a hypersexualize image of herself by society has higher chances to find herself pregnant?

Okay so this is where I would disagree because I think this is an incomplete view. I agree men should be held accountable too, but I think society doesn't have any sympathy for dead beat dads who run out on their children either. 

Woman also have more responsibility for having children because only they have control over whether the child is carried to term, and they are the one's who choose and allow which men have sex and which one's have children.

And as far as woman not choosing single motherhood that's not true in all cases, and maybe not even in most. This comes back to Kevin Samuels. There are countless woman on his show who knowingly and willfully had children with a man, and then decided that the man wasn't good enough for whatever reasons, and chose to become single mothers for a number of reasons.

My main point is your perspective is skewed in such a way that accountability and responsibility are being absolved. And so no collective solution can work because the issues are not being assessed in an objective way.

But I concede that my view is also partial and lacks empathy for disenfranchised groups, so what I'm saying isn't complete either.

[Raptorsin7]

@Opo Well if we want to say no one is responsible for anything and everything is outside forces that warrant collective responses then that's a different conversation.

But where is the room for personal responsibility and individual beliefs and decision making in this conversation? 

I could go impregnate 10 woman tomorrow and then say it's all collective forces and why is anyone looking at me like I did anything wrong. Idk.

[Raptorsin7]

12 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

You've got to love these conservatives for switching the narrative of calling black women welfare queens to emasculating career achiever. 

The double standards and inconsistency is unfortunately a necessity for them to hold their ideologies.

What do you think of the specific example I gave in the OP?

Woman are placed in positions of economic superiority over men in the community. Woman want men of equal or greater economic prospects, whereas men are more comfortable partnering with woman of lower socioeconomic status, and so you have a large number of woman with poor mating prospects because they expect men to value their career achievement and economic stability in mate choice when they don't.

What is not true or incomplete about what I wrote above given the way people choose mates and form relationships today?

[Opo]

8 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Opo Well if we want to say no one is responsible for anything and everything is outside forces that warrant collective responses then that's a different conversation.

What do you mean by "warrant". 

8 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

But where is the room for personal responsibility and individual beliefs and decision making in this conversation? 

Your personal beliefs are shaped by your environment. You didn't come uo with some idea in a vacuum. 

8 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I could go impregnate 10 woman tomorrow and then say it's all collective forces and why is anyone looking at me like I did anything wrong. Idk.

You couldn't because you grew up in a place where that's not acceptable and assuming that you are not a psychopath that shit is too deep in your psyche to act against. 

14 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Woman are placed in positions of economic superiority over men in the community.

Can you show what specifically are you talking about? 

14 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Woman want men of equal or greater economic prospects, whereas men are more comfortable partnering with woman of lower socioeconomic status, and so you have a large number of woman with poor mating prospects because they expect men to value their career achievement and economic stability in mate choice when they don't.

What is not true or incomplete about what I wrote above given the way people choose mates and form relationships today?

Their values will change over time. 

That need for a man that earns more is not genetic but environmental and when environment changes so will their needs. 

[Raptorsin7]

33 minutes ago, Opo said:

What do you mean by "warrant". 

I don't understand. I mean the definition of warrant.

33 minutes ago, Opo said:

Your personal beliefs are shaped by your environment. You didn't come uo with some idea in a vacuum. 

I agree, but changing them and addressing them is individual. If I want to change my life, who else is going to do it?

33 minutes ago, Opo said:

You couldn't because you grew up in a place where that's not acceptable and assuming that you are not a psychopath that shit is too deep in your psyche to act against. 

I could. I have the ability to do, but I don't because I have such a strong negative judgment of single motherhood and the effect on society.

33 minutes ago, Opo said:

Can you show what specifically are you talking about? 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4465800/

This isn't specifically a black woman issue, it's a societal issue, but the effect is more dramatic on the black community because it lacks the foundation and structure of other communities. So with affirmative action and a push for gender equality, black woman have an advantage in getting into university, getting corporate jobs etc. But because of legislation like tidal IX in the USA you can't give priority to men, so you have a large number of economically successful woman compared to men in the community. But it's not leading to an increase in solid families and communities because of differential mate choice between men and woman.

If you gave some priority in those positions to black men my claim is it would lead to more families because you would have more economically attractive men and so they would have greater ability to start families. The same is not true for woman.

Edited January 1, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

21 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

What I am still reading is that great black father are being left by bad black women. That they "knowilingly and willfully had children" and then decided these men weren't good enough. I'm curious in knowing what are the "whatever reasons" you're mentioning? Let's see what pushes these women to leave these men? Surely, it isn't because these men are flawless?  The truth is, you are making of these men victims. Which has been my point all this time. You don't talk about what make black women/ black men relationship fail, but put the onus solely on black women.

I have seen this countless times on his show. It's shocking. We can argue his show is not representative of the entire population, but I had never even considered this as a reason for single motherhood before watching Kevin Samuels.

I think it's something like 80% of black divorces are filed by woman. So yes, I am placing more responsibility on woman in this case.

21 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

I'm not sure where you're getting from that my perspective is skewed in a way that accountability and responsibility is being absolved. On the contrary, I am advocating for everyone to take their own share of responsibility in this problem and not deflect it excessively on black woman.

But the point is that when it comes to single motherhood woman do deserve a greater spot light because they have full reproductive control once they are pregnant. And woman choose who they have sex with, so if woman are choosing men who are abusers, leave them etc then there is greater onus on woman in this case.

21 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Black women as a demographic shows a high level of teenage pregnancies. I am not sure about you, but I have a strong dislike in granting full responsibility and credibility to young adults. So does the legal system in general. There are reasons why in the US, age 20, you're denied club entry or purchasing alcohol.

I think it's actually woman in the age of like 25-35 that are the highest populations of single mothers in the black community right now. 

 

21 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

What I am still reading is that great black father are being left by bad black women. That they "knowilingly and willfully had children" and then decided these men weren't good enough. I'm curious in knowing what are the "whatever reasons" you're mentioning? Let's see what pushes these women to leave these men? Surely, it isn't because these men are flawless?  The truth is, you are making of these men victims. Which has been my point all this time. You don't talk about what make black women/ black men relationship fail, but put the onus solely on black women.

If you choose to have a child with a man, then the bar to leave the man has to be very high or else you end up with a situation like we have now. Obviously black men are not perfect because they struggle with the same issues as black woman, but what i'm seeing is black woman have an incentive to leave their men because of child support and government support for single mothers, so the bar to leave has been lowered which reinforces the issues.

This is about the transition from SD red to SD blue. So imo some conservative talking points should be taken seriously and not dismissed out of hand simply due to their conservatism. It would actually be great progress if there were more black republicans and "negative" black stereotypes like Kevin Samuels, because it would be an evolution of the culture and group.

This video is a good description of what I think is a huge issue that I don't see addressed. This woman called in getting angry at him for shaming woman for being single mothers. Then she said that neither of her children's fathers were good enough to marry.

I would argue that this mindset is rampant in the community. Woman who do not want to see their actions as a negative, who have an opportunity to be with a man (maybe not of high value but I don't think these woman are high value either), which then creates a vicious loop of single motherhood and single woman who cannot find men because single mothers are not attractive options to single men.

Edited January 1, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

@Etherial Cat Okay. I think we are at a place where we can go back and forth all day on these points. I think in the future I'll have to a find a way to distill the essential points of what i'm saying so it's easier to follow and address the controversial points. 

I think I'll make another thread in the future and pick a specific point that I think is most important. 

[Raptorsin7]

4 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

I'm reading this post as another complain about women not finding men enough.

Do you think women do not find you good enough? Are you afraid women are going to leave you for someone better? Do you think you aren't good enough next to other men?

Lol. I am not concerned about woman finding me desirable or maintaining a stable relationship.

I am worried about a population of people where you have children being raised without men in the family/community, and the societal consequences that are unfolding/will continue to unfold.

Edited January 1, 2022 by Raptorsin7

[Raptorsin7]

3 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

I'm wondering if you'd find it normal if I were to write 3 threads about Indian relationships, writing stuff as such "I am worried about a population of people for X reasons and the societal consequences that are unfolding/will continue to unfold, to explain my behavior?

Haha. Yeah I am not denying that there are shadow elements motivating the posts. But I could make that same argument for pretty much anyone who posts about anything on this forum.

The truth is black america is at the forefront of the culture war that has completely polarized the United States. If Indian people were such a divisive topic then I could see why people are interested in discussing them.

I am interested in this. I can lie and just accept what you're saying and smile and nod. But as long as I'm interested I'm going to think about it and follow up, and see where it ends up.

[Raptorsin7]

@Etherial Cat ?

[captainamerica]

On 31/12/2021 at 6:23 PM, captainamerica said:

@Raptorsin7 I was inspired by Ray Dalio's work and his Stage Yellow thinking to look for the middle of the road solutions and conversations we can have to resolve our differences. 

I found that there is so much possibility in the middle that it even includes abundant possibilities of collective exponential growth beyond the imagination of most people. This may be counterintuitive. Looking for extreme paths is not needed, in fact, we will reach the limits of Physics before we exhaust our full potential in this manner and are forced to go down some extreme path. It is also clear to me now that 70 percent of the country will rather go with middle-of-the-road solutions despite all the apparent differences and divide created by the media and social media organized narratives as well as eco-chambers. 

Research focuses on understanding and discovering this potential and includes topics of Racism, Feminism, Communism, or Communism disguised under "Socialism", Sane Economics, etc. A wide range of topics also because a holistic understanding is needed even if solutions are required in any one narrow domain at a given point in time. 

There is a wide range of solutions available to us. Like for Wealth Inequality just stoping the reckless printing of money and dealing with the residual effects from the decades of printing money will give the results people want, no communist revolution or extreme (counter-productive) tax policy is needed. Or for at scale addiction recovery of homeless people, there are EEG training protocols that cost like 250-500 USD per person. Education costs can be reduced quite significantly making world-class education avail. to a majority of the population using technology. We are already rapidly solving our Climate Change problems regardless of the narrative by the far-left, in fact with an orange-green spike we will make such progress that is impossible with a Solid Green spike as of today or for the next 100 years. In terms of narratives and ideologies as well it is actually somewhat easy for us to avoid both the extremes of any ideology (like victim shaming or victimhood worshiping) as a society and choose healthier beliefs and narratives, on Social Media it looks like an impossible task but talking to real people gives ample hope about the possibilities in this direction. 

How Middle-of-the-Road solutions are like for the Collective in reality:

How Progressives in America paint Middle-of the-Road solutions (or simply technically balanced approach to complex systems): 

 

Edited January 2, 2022 by captainamerica

[Fleetinglife]

On 1/1/2022 at 8:47 PM, Etherial Cat said:

college-educated women (Green+)

I am from time to time seeing much loose use of SD theory in a generalizing qualifying manner as a rule and not as an exception on the forum in arguments for some people to justify their own idiosyncratic assessments of their own personal worldviews, living experiences, and accordant ideologies that they feel that most resonate with their own formed political 'self' to stage one-upmanship on those that they perceive are criticizing and arguments coming from below.

No, being a college-educated woman is not a sure-fire ticket for you to becoming stage Green and with all that intellectually entails, for the qualifier that you are a woman and therefore immediately transition to stage Green based on your college education, there is not a small tint of a shadow of an Orange value-based assessment in terms of success in this generalizing statement in putting forward this binary of more or lesser developed.

Solid Green embodiment and foundation requires empathizing, understanding, and treating other perspectives as part of your own and being mindful of structural causing of yours and their perspective in your day to day life and experience, and not shallow and not deep adoption and memorizing of stage Green theory, concepts, and worldview in your vocabulary and projected lifestyle and expression unto others in a consumer manner in order for the justifying of career climbing and successes in a new environment - this eeks of a progressive veneer and postmodern coating going along with that type of education of what just keeps you down in wanting to personally succeed, get opportunities and climb up more the social ladder in the demands of a knowledge-based and service type of economy.

I argue what I am seeing being displayed mostly there is a coating with Green language, values, terminologies, and concepts using the dominant ideological language of postmodernism as a justification for the need for a stage blue deconditioning and orange transition of a group of people for the purpose in dealing with historical legacy and baggage carried over so they can be integrated into this new form of a revised and more self-conscious US capitalism while coasting off the new excesses and problems it brings forward with it for the sake of the success of those deemed they should now be the ones succeeding in order to fit in the new paradigm and image the system has created for itself.

IMO, this is my own take and opinion for what I am mostly seeing in the media, it could be a perceived criticism from below due to personal current self-assessment reasons but I would deem that on a theoretical level that it's probably not completely since it is informed by some of my prior retained knowledge from theories from some of the sociological courses I took and while at University here.

Edited January 6, 2022 by Fleetinglife

[Fleetinglife]

15 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

So I'm questioning all together your understanding of Green.

 

15 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

So you seem to have a totally idealized perception of what Green is.  

Fair enough, you supplied from my current POV a valid description and explanation in so far as I am seeing, I could be very off, and wrong I am just again trying to get slowly and steadily into the SD model to modify and improve my interactions with people and with my living reality in general. Thanks for the heads up on what might be some of my errors in approaching.

Personal Note: I don't live an SD Green overall culture and wider environment given my countries, when looking it through and/or using the SD theoretical model/WVS on assessing my country dvlp overall and its dvlp areas and regions, I can only compare and contrast to examples I've seen in my own environment, be it the short term University one or elsewhere through on/off contacts I have and had. 

15 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

against a strawman argument built through negative intent. And this pattern is to be found in all the paragraphs you've written so far. So I'm not going to refute perspectives which are only held by me in your mind and do not depict my worldviews. 

15 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

I don't think your criticism is coming from above. If so, I don't understand why I would be on the receiving end of such a negative analysis when there are so many other fish to fry in this thread. 

I don't understand either why over all what's been written, you'd take one of my quote, strip it of all context and start serving me this analysis- which seems to be mostly made out of the fruits of your projections and resentment towards what is ultimately what  "you're seeing in media", and for what I seem to become a vehicle. Which explains the recurrent strawmaning/distortion of what I actually think of these subjects .

15 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

And also if you were criticizing from above- you'd be aware of the emotional labour/time invested by a POC who's been confronted to dehumanizing racist and sexist perspectives coming from Blue/Orange in a thread directed against black feminism and how it supposedly "ravages" society. And you'd be mindful not to add more pressure and constraint on someone like me, because you would understand where I would also come from. But instead you're letting me waste my time further, and push me to answer these fallacious argument one by one in what is a poor allocation of communal resources.

 

Correct, I apologize for that if it was interpreted that it was phrased and written that way, it was late last night and I was responding to some other threads on the forum and I was tired probably and have written it in a hurry before going to sleep, so I apologize for that if I came off rude or persecutory on my part. Was in a reactive mode last night due to some stuff that has happened family-related and I have probably written response in a hurry with a lack of emotional intelligence at that moment. I can usually sense when I am coming off aggressive, uncharitable, or rude to other people, but not at that moment so I sincerely apologized for that if it came off that way directed at you specifically. Sorry, MB I had some emotional vehicle expression issues and outburst problems during the last few days so that probably desensitized me as a result, not that I wanted to let off steam to a random or specific forum user online specifically in some sort of psychopathic manner but rather I really wanted to quickly refute what I perceived as exaggerations and adulations of what are women with college/university degrees like as it relates to SD terms that I quickly read in that quickly and broadly written simplistic compare and contrast binary comment in relation to men without any degrees, from my own life and living experiences, be it in the past in the immediate or broader family or my interactions with them in University from my own POV, personal experiences, interpretations, and knowledge of them up until that point. So I again apologize if I came off with negative intent or rude towards you in my attempt of a rebuttal of what I perceived and mentally conceptualized of what was being communicated.?

Didn't see at that moment this thread as coming off from a certain stage, Blue/Orange stage specifically as you said, just briefly interested in the questions being posed in it and arguments discussed since I have heard of them before in some media I briefly glanced on YT but nowhere did in detail see them specifically laid out so I got curious to see the sides regarding it since I've heard one version of it mostly in University but not completely the other, though it was mentioned in the forms of Charles Murray criticism of the ''nanny'' welfare state and the so-called underclass, structural functionalism, social biologism, and theory of labeling, stigma and social deviationism, etc. and not by the apocalypticist, moral panic, and connotations title and seeming intent behind the phrasing of it in the unfortunate way that it was.

• I agree it seems, that it was a poor allocation of communal resources on my part, and I apologize for that also, due to the affective and reactive way in which it seems I phrased my response, sorry again for that and I deeply apologize if I caused you deep emotional turbulence and harm that way as if you are being persecuted and attacked that way, I assure that was not my intention, and wasted your time in replying and responding to me. As they say, what unintentionally goes around and comes around might happen to me at some other seemingly unrelated post here or place these next few days. Karmic punishment 

15 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

What you are doing is likely to be projecting your main system of oppression (money/social class) as what should have priority. And you get annoyed on black feminism for leading toward a path which includes a road of economic advancement. And it would make sens in this context, that my way of dealing with reality would come to you as stage Green performance (" memorizing of stage Green theory, concepts, and worldview"). To someone with a hammer, everything looks like a nail. No wonder these type of intersectional lingo might appear to you as a baseless, thoughtless diversion.

I don't dismiss it nor deny it nor think that is useless or invalid if it was perceived intent that it was coming that way with way I phrased it, on the contrary, I have read some excerpts before from Angela Davis Theory on Intersectionality and the intermingling and interrelationships between oppressed groups and identities and the different layers of their oppression in regards to the status and identities they hold and that are defined as such by the societies that they are in (for the most famous classic example the intersection of various other oppressions existing within US society for black women in the feminist movements in contrast to white women or for POC women in the LGBTQ movement) for each to simplify it from the time that has passed since I read it and attended that course which featured the history of the waves of feminism and the feminist movement starting from the UK, Europe up to the US for some of my exams.

But to sum it up, there is a big value to such theories for college/University-educated women if taken to heart and embodied as a lifestyle and life principle, dare I say might have near future revolutionary potential here, in a deeply mostly stage Blue patriarchic, nationalist, religious traditionalist society taken as a whole for the population, where patriarchy is sometimes often heard used in positive connotations and qualifying value-judgemental sense in sentences of some people, especially for our own POC women in impoverished, mostly ghetoized and segregated Roma/Gypsie communities (which distinct national flags are also rarely featured in all the communities that they are located within the Balkan countries, though some famous public and popular figures that have risen out of their communities are in their own way popularizing for that to start more and more to change and shift around so they can proudly display and feature their own ethnic/national flag within the nation states on the Balkans where they are present as minorities)  of which as reports surface achieve a remarkable feat of getting a college degree despite their conditions and mutiple layers of oppression and discrimination that they face in their own mostly stage Red/Blue male-dominated heavily patriarchal communities and outside society because of the qualifying of their status and identity by those same forces in a normative, oppressive and hegemonic manner.

15 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

So I don't buy it. I see your post likely as leaning towards a brocialist perspective which has little understanding of intersectionality and its current challenge. In the current system (and not in the ideal world) race and gender based social advancement translates in upward mobility leveraging capitalistic means.

I understand your perspective regarding that I fit into that type the way it came off that way in my originally badly phrased post.

I agree in the current system here, where these famous public figures with no less Herculean feat and commitment and faith in themselves arise coming from those aforementioned racially, socially, and heavily economically discriminated in the start and in a lot of cases heavily impoverished and segregated minority communities in the ethnically majoritarian nation-states here, especially in a stage blue environment, this also seems like the only currently possible way forward, especially with the support of their communities living elsewhere in more progressive European states connected with this postmodern diversity and inclusivity advocacy and tolerant international commercial capitalistic popular culture as a great room and opportunity for their advancement which they can use the platform as those famous public figures to advocate against discrimination, and for more state economic help and boosting of them, justice and opportunities for the communities from whence they came and would also serve as great role models and representatives of those communities in order to reinforce a more broad and positive, and less stereotypically and discriminatory majority public perception of them.

Edited January 6, 2022 by Fleetinglife

[BlueOak]

First off I am white and english so don't speak with the same life experience that an american has. I came from middle class at a time that meant a priviledge upbringing, to poverty so i saw both. I come with an outsiders perspective. 

I would make the complete counter argument. There isn't a proportionally large number of successful people that are so successful they have trouble finding partners. If you reading this are very successful in career and finances great, but don't remotely think that your wealth or success applies to population at large. Even if it did, it'd be the people struggling that were the larger point of any metric of troubled relationships or families. You can't separate out relationships from families, that's where they form and grow, that's where they are learned.

When I used to discuss these topics, I would frequently find myself debating people who are very successful and well off, usually they'd tell me at the end of it. They are not the 90%, or more specifically the % of families in the greatest difficulty. Not to dismiss their own problems, for sure, I used to do that all the time coming from a middle class family at one stage before it dived into poverty. However to call something the main cause of anything, when it applies to a minority of the population is missing the wood for the trees.

If you'd have said people are working more and more hours. Then said they see their kids less, they have less time for relationships and so there are more single people i'd have agreed. Thats not feminism, or identity politics, that's a whole load of issues nobody wants to speak about. From increasing population levels, to an economy based on consumption, to not producing anything locally but trying to generate more and more demand. To political corruption, to resistance on changing a wealth of industries that need modernizing because of money (corruption). Its based on the changing balance of power world wide and increasing competition forcing prices through the floor. Its based on climate change forcing immigration, and food or living space costing more. Its based on people being treated as robots rather than people.

People's want for cheaper and cheaper goods rather than goods that last longer. Its based on rising fuel costs, and you can thank the oil companies for holding back alternative technologies to lower them for many decades through money and greed. Its based on technology causing solitary rather than community activity or ideology. Relationships are not fostered naturally like they used to be, we live in our own little worlds sat at home and then are easily offended or angry when someone has an understandably different view in their own little world. Not even touching on historical issues, like poverty, political, cultural issues or abuse. On and On I could type about why families or relationships are struggling. I haven't touched any black only issues here, mostly because I am not black and didn't go through what you did. 

There are so many factors to what you are speaking on, to pick identity politics and say that's bad, that's what is doing it. It drives me nuts. It gets in the way of everything these days when there is so much more to look at.