Went on a Date - Treating it as an experience

[Thought Art]

Met a girl on facebook dating - She actually looked better in person.

I think we had a lot of fun... She was chinese and there was a bit of a language barrier. Things seemed to be going well but when I got back from the bathroom she had her jacket on, said her phone battery was dying and took off...

I took that as her not enjoying it and wanting to leave. Which was fine. Maybe it was because I showed her Qigong. I have a feeling a lot of women will not like that I do that for a living ahaha. People will think it's weird. 

Anyway, I feel pretty hurt. I don't think she was really my type exactly, but I definitly felt attracted to her. I have suffered from oneitus in the past. The heart hurts... I unmatched her on the app as a defence mechanism and I will simply use it as an experience. There are more women out there. I will keep meeting people, and actually do some in person pickup in the future. 

Yes, rejection sucks. But, It's how we get strong, and it through rejection we eventually get results.

[Leo Gura]

17 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

I got back from the bathroom she had her jacket on, said her phone battery was dying and took off...

Yeah... that's not a good sign. She obviously lost attraction.

[Thought Art]

@Leo Gura Yeah. It was the Qigong lol.

Feeling ambivalent emotions 

The right ones will see my value as a man. I also felt a little tense throughout and, It wouldn't have worked anyway. She eats meat, wasn't that conscious etc... I think she felt like I was too into traditional chinese culture.

I don't do Qigong for that reason, I just like the practice I don't give a shit where it comes from...anyway.

Edited December 30, 2021 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

Just gonna feel these emotions, and be conscious of the stories that come up in my mind.

I am a person of Value. I am a very attractive man. The right girl will be lucky to be with me.

This girl I went on a date was lucky to be able to meet me.

However, sometimes things simply don't work out. It isn't personal.

I don't think I really liked her, but it definitely feels better to reject than be rejected lol

I actually feel quite a bit of emotional pain and discomfort. It will make me stronger.

Edited December 30, 2021 by Thought Art

[Leo Gura]

Yeah... it's gonna sting for a few days.

The one that's really gonna kill ya is when you find your perfect girl, perfect values alignment and everything else, and then still she rejects you.

That's when you'll learn the sting of true rejection:

 

[Thought Art]

@Leo Gura Lol, happened 2 years ago. Finally healing and feeling over it... She taught me about Qi and Krya yoga... She was a reiki/ kyra yoga master....

We ran a little business doing a lot of cool stuff....

I was too needy and broken to really be dating and it just became clear. I knew who I was becoming but, honestly was not at that time. I still had years of immaturity ahead of me. 

I probably obviously still do in a lot of ways but, your videos on wisdom and integrity have been pretty grounding.

So, good came from it. The pain led me to Qigong which is how I was able to learn to regulate my emotions in a higher way.

Destruction and creation.

Hot witch ex girlfriend... Still like her... But, I not longer feel the petty emotional mess I was.

Had a wicked dream about her last night. So metaphorical and archetypal It honestly blows my mind how creative my capacity is.  Like, more creative than I am...

I wanna get so much experience and have my cup so full, and be so okay we the temporal nature of things I just am able to move on. 

I know I am gonna be a really high value guy.

I am already feeling over it. I am sure it's a feeling I must get used to.

I used to feel this way after so many open mics as a musician. So, I am used to it.. or after a bad whatever sport competition I did growing up.

Just, no clinging and no oneitius. 

Just get the fucking experience and get on with you life for fucks sake and LIVE!

Edited December 30, 2021 by Thought Art

[QandC]

@Thought Art I don't wanna come off as racist or anything like that, but dating Chinese women can be quite the challenge and a lot of cultural differences can be shown. They are not scared of stating their opinion either. If they do not like you or something, they WILL let you know.

First time I went on a date with a Chinese woman we ended up arguing the entire date. It was horrible. 

That cultural gap can have a big effect if you are not prepared.

[Thought Art]

@QandC Ahaha, I am sure that is possible...

But, she seemed really sweet and we definitely had chemistry. But, I think she felt I was too into traditional Chinese culture and maybe it made her feel weird. 

I am very international and I don't really look at things that way. Idk.  She was nice. We made a lot of eye contact, I felt like I could have gotten to know her.

I've had dates with white women who argued with me the whole time. Anyway, she was pretty attractive. I am gonna move on to the next one.. theres plenty out there. In the past I've done pretty well for myself so, its nothing.

[QandC]

@Leo Gura

20 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Yeah... it's gonna sting for a few days.

The one that's really gonna kill ya is when you find your perfect girl, perfect values alignment and everything else, and then still she rejects you.

That's when you'll learn the sting of true rejection:

 

Or when you date a girl for 3 months, everything is perfect, you start to fall in love, she tells you she wants you exclusively, you do nothing wrong, and then you suddenly get blocked by her on every social media/communication platform without ANY explanation. Talk about pain and confusion  

To this day I still wonder wtf happened

Edited December 30, 2021 by QandC

[Thought Art]

22 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

That's when you'll learn the sting of true rejection:

 

Damn your funny man ahaha thanks for that...

Alright nightio fellas 

I'm also contemplating the intelligence in this situation inspired by tonights Clip video. 

It's really a beautiful thing God does with these emotions. The Yin and the Yang and the space in between.

Nothing wrong though, getting to talk to a beautiful women and enjoy some good food. Rejection is just part of the privilege. 

Edited December 30, 2021 by Thought Art

[johnlocke18]

@Thought Art Yeah she might have also been insulted that you brought up something in her culture assuming she would be into it. Unintentional racism. Also, you may have just been acting weird in general, because people find different stuff interesting, or if they already know about it they’re not going to be weirded out, probably just bored. Just got a gut feeling the way you described her leaving you might have been acting creepy. 

Edited December 30, 2021 by johnlocke18

[johnlocke18]

@Thought Art Also the fact you keep mentioning her being Chinese gives me the feeling you were showing that in the date. You don’t have to be intentionally racist to come off as racist. Focusing on someone’s race too much will cause that, the same as if you played rap music for a black girl and said “you must like this huh?” It’s just a completely stupid move lmao. 

[ZenSwift]

54 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

That's when you'll learn the sting of true rejection:

holy shit that video ahahahaha  What a sting report holy shit

Watching this dude willingly torture himself is hilarious!

This is gonna be me when I realize that I'm hallucinating everyone: https://youtu.be/MnExgQ81fhU?t=652

 

[Thought Art]

@johnlocke18 all possibilities. Who knows. 
 

moving on to next one. 
 

I normally am pretty successful with dates so… doubt I was creepy but I am not a mind reader.

[Thought Art]

Gonna ride the sting and the limiting thoughts… 

I’d like to be in a relationship.. 

truth sags atm

Edited December 30, 2021 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

37 minutes ago, Ragib Ashraf said:

I’m just fuckin with ya. That’s a little fairy tale I used to have back in the good ol’ days.

Man, am I ever working through these fucking fairy tales 

[integral]

Did you laugh or smile during the date? 

[Thought Art]

@integral yeah a lot actually 

im pretty bubbly in person

[Lyubov]

Sounds like you are trying to “figure it out.” I’ve found this to be unhelpful for the most part. I’m talking for myself so maybe it doesn’t apply to you. A bit of contemplation on improving is fine but I would just sit with the uncomfortable feelings and move on to the next date. Give yourself some self love. I’ve found just focusing on getting abundance and focusing on having fun and being care free on dates works best to find someone. When you focus on something like there is a problem it creates more problems. If you focus on just having avenues for experience like meeting lots of women then focus on being chill and having fun then that is what you will get. They mix together and you are then bound to find someone. Worked for me  

[Thought Art]

@Lyubov totally agree. I’m am working on just feeling, and observing my cognitive behaviour. 
 

im looking forward to the next one. 
 

im just gonna be myself for the most part… take me or leave me.