I've been getting blown out of many sets for insulting girls

[Hardkill]

I've been approaching a number of girls at various places lately, and one thing that I've been trying out is insulting each girl I meet. Now, I know this sounds very stupid and of course mean, but the reason why I've been doing this is because I thought that when you're trying to attract girls, you want to come off as arrogant. That way she will be influenced to look up to you as someone that's better than her, which would make her perceive you as being of higher value or higher status than her. I also thought that girls were more sexually turned on by assholes who don't give a shit about what others think than by nice guys who come off as weak and too agreeable. Leo even said that making sexist statements is not a problem and in fact helps to increase a girl's attraction to you. So, I've tried making insulting statements to girls like telling some of them that "you are so dumb that you must have a bean brain" or saying sexist statements such as women shouldn't be out of the kitchen and need to be very submissive and cooperative to their man." I've also tried telling other women I've approached that their clothing style sucks or "I love how casual you look. I hate girls that always try to look their best." 

However, every time I've said anyone of these kind of statements to them, they either get pissed off at me and walk away or tell me to leave or fuck off. 

[something_else]

Lol wtf.

Dude, teasing girls playfully is good fun but this is just plain insulting and being a total asshole 

[Hardkill]

30 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

None of these things were funny. You don't wanna insult the girls, you wanna tease them here and there. Big difference.

You just came off as a socially uncalibrated jerk. And that's because, you took it too seriously, there was no playfullness or teasing involved. It basically has the same effect as making strong sexual comments right off the bat. You're gonna get blown off immidiatelly.

 

2 minutes ago, something_else said:

Lol wtf.

Dude, teasing girls playfully is good fun but this is just plain insulting and being a total asshole 

I see what you guys are saying, but I thought that girls liked assholes and they like it when a guy gets a girl's mind off of logic mode by making them feel some sort of strong emotions.

Edited December 29, 2021 by Hardkill

[Terell Kirby]

You can insult girls, just give them a disclosure beforehand .. that should lighten the mood.

Example:

Guy - "hey, I'm about to insult you" (pauses, waits for response)

Girl - "huh or what?" (she'll probably giggle if she doesn't take herself too seriously

Guy - (proceed with whatever bogus insult)

[Hardkill]

15 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

You can insult girls, just give them a disclosure beforehand .. that should lighten the mood.

Example:

Guy - "hey, I'm about to insult you" (pauses, waits for response)

Girl - "huh or what?" (she'll probably giggle if she doesn't take herself too seriously

Guy - (proceed with whatever bogus insult)

So, then why do guys who have game say that women like men who are assholes or are arrogant?

[hoodrow trillson]

3 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

So, then why do guys who have game say that women like men who are assholes or are arrogant?

I see you're discovering discrepancies in what people online tell you.  Ask yourself what is the elephant in the room?

 

 

 

[Terell Kirby]

2 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

So, then why do guys who have game say that women like men who are assholes or are arrogant?

Women like whatever the opposite is of needy / clingy men.

The opposite of a needy / clingy man is an asshole .. but it's also more than that. 

It can also be a man who is loving and respectful, but also does not need her to be happy and fulfilled

He also should know how to have fun and not take himself too seriously.

[Federico del pueblo]

2 hours ago, Hardkill said:

However, every time I've said anyone of these kind of statements to them, they either get pissed off at me and walk away or tell me to leave or fuck off. 

Which is no surprise. What you said was way too condescending.

This idea of girls liking assholes can be misleading and the ones who really do fall for complete assholes are often emotionally damaged and you should avoid them anyway (they're sort of like the female equivalent of assholes, like crazy b!tches etc.).

Where this idea of girls liking assholes comes from is the fact that girls feel attracted to guys who are unattached, i.e. guys who "don't give a fuck". 

What that means is that if a guy is emotionally unaffected by a girl in a sense that her drama, tests, attractiveness don't throw the guy off, is what attracts the girl.

Being unattached indicates that a guy has options = is desired by women in general, which is attractive.

Usually guys who have abundance can act in a way that other guys can't. It shines through that they're not afraid to lose a girl.

If you're not afraid to lose a girl you are much less afraid to offend a girl by behaving in a way that is authentic to you. You don't try to offend girls, but you don't care if girls get offended either.

Girls like it when a guy is a challenge, someone who doesn't walk on eggshells around her, someone who has an opinion, someone who's a bit edgy etc., but none of the latter means to be insulting to girls.

It's a teasing, challenging, polarizing kind of attitude.

Things like:

"Really???!! I can't believe you said that, oh no, please tell me you're not the kind of girl that does X" (willingness to push her away a bit)

"I really thought I liked you until you said X"

"Nooo, girl, you just blew it"

"We would never get along, I'm so cute and innocent and you are just 100% trouble"

"Yeah, you're cute, but I don't think you could handle me" (be prepared for the "why" shit test)

"Ah ok, I thought you were gonna say X and I was about to fall in love, but since you don't...nevermind"

"Really you're from X-city?! That totally loses you a few points"

"You know what I really like about you?! ...Absolutely nothing nah just kidding, you seem cool"

So you basically give her shit tests instead of just receiving them, but notice how none of the things above are actual insults and on top of that most of them are delivered with a smirk.

 

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Hardkill said:

"you are so dumb that you must have a bean brain"

Dude, what the fuck? I never told you to say anything like that.

I deliberately go out of my way NOT to insult girls. Sometimes it happens by accident and kills the set.

Teasing and flirting is not insults. << Get that through your bean brain

You never want to say anything what she would perceive as an attack on her core self.

Don't say hurtful things to people. Saying hurtful things is not game, it's just cruel.

You also shouldn't be aiming to say sexist things. You say funny things and if they happen to be a bit sexist you will skate by.

If she is not laughing then you are failing.

[aurum]

4 hours ago, Hardkill said:

 

However, every time I've said anyone of these kind of statements to them, they either get pissed off at me and walk away or tell me to leave or fuck off. 

The good news is you’re learning what doesn’t work through your own experience. And if you internalize those lessons, it will subconsciously calibrate you in the future.

This is why you can’t just blindly follow things you read on the internet and expect them to work in something as complex as socializing.

To your specific problem, there is a fine line between insulting people and teasing/flirting. Guys with charisma know how to ride that edge AND pull back if they go too far.

It can be a delicate dance because social interaction isn’t a static thing. There’s always different contexts, different people, different subtle nuances. And you’ve got to learn to subconsciously read all that in microseconds. Which is actually extremely easy once you get the hang of it, but can be challenging at first.

There’s also the element of delivery. Sometimes what you said was fine, but your delivery (vocal tonality, body language) was totally off. In that case, it isn’t so much about what you said as it is how you said it. I’d say this is actually the more common problem.

"you are so dumb that you must have a bean brain" -> did you give a cheeky half smile when you said this? Did you say it aggressively, or with a sort of sing-song tone of voice that would communicate to her “I’m just kidding”? Did you hesitate and look away? All of this, plus way more, matters in terms of how people will respond to what you say.

This is why inner game becomes so important. There’s so many subtle variables going on here that it’s impossible to consciously be aware of all of them. But if your inner game is solid, a lot of these variables just solve themselves like magic. You don’t even need to think about it. Which is exactly the place you want to get to.

So dial it back a bit. Remember, fun and light. You suppose to actually like this person. And keep working that inner game as well.

[Hardkill]

Ohhhhh.....I think I get it now. I took the idea of “being an asshole” too literally.

Shit......I really screwed up big time. 

Now, I feel really bad about what I’ve done.?

Does this also mean that negging girls turns women off?

[Leo Gura]

@Hardkill Stop trying to be edgy and practice being chill and friendly. But with sexual intent.

The point of verbal game is to make her giggle. You say things that should make her giggle. In contrast to being boring and logical.

Forget about negging. Just build solid chill and friendly game, WITH sexual intent!

[Hardkill]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Hardkill Stop trying to be edgy and practice being chill and friendly. But with sexual intent.

The point of verbal game is to make her giggle. You say things that should make her giggle.

Okay, so don't do anymore edgy stuff until I have a lot more experience and have much more advanced game (of course that's if I ever really achieve that level of game).

So, even sexual alpha males who are abusive to women don't even start off being hurtful to women?

Edited December 30, 2021 by Hardkill

[Leo Gura]

@Hardkill Being alpha is not the same thing as abusing women.

And yes, most abuse becomes further into the relationship, otherwise she would run away.

[Hardkill]

Okay, I believe that I get it now. 

From now on, I'll try my best to not be disrespectful like that to women again.

Thank you everybody.

[Federico del pueblo]

44 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Does this also mean that negging girls turns women off?

What exactly do you mean by negging? It's hard to tell whether a certain behaviour is useful or not if it's unclear how you define it.

Quote

So, even sexual alpha males who are abusive to women don't even start off being hurtful to women?

They might do that, but it doesn't work with most women, it can work with women who are abusive themselves or who have very poor self esteem.

I feel like you view this topic too black or white.

It's not like you're either an "abusive alpha asshole" or a weak "beta nice guy".

You can be a guy who is strong, confident, fun, chill, grounded, flirtatious, leading, friendly (from a place of strength), all without ever being an asshole.

Imagine this: If you had been very desired by women for all your life how would you now behave with girls?

Would you be concerned about a particular girl's opinion? Probably not.

Would you constantly be afraid to speak your mind out of fear of rejection? Probably not.

Would you be able to playfully tease a girl? I think so.

Would you be worried whether what you have to say is good enough?

Would you be willing to drop a girl if she behaves too bitchy?

Would you always agree with her?

Would you be afraid to communicate to her that you are intrigued by her?

Would you screen every girl for qualities but also red flags to make sure you only let girls in your life that add value to your life?

[johnlocke18]

@Hardkill Dude you probably need therapy before taking any more mechanical advice. You’re literally so disconnected you think women who are people are like a computer that responds to certain coding. Do you have some form of autism? 

[johnlocke18]

@Leo Gura I think he needs therapy before taking any more practical advice. Seriously. If he’s that disconnected that he thinks talking to people like they’re npcs responding to coding, he may have either a form of autism or severe trauma. Someone that needs step by step instructions for how to do something that requires thinking on your feet, probably just isn’t going to go anywhere. 

Edited December 30, 2021 by johnlocke18

[Bando]

@johnlocke18 Dont be so judgemental he's probably a hard case and is new to talking with women its good that hes going out and making approaches, trying different things and seeing what works. 

@Hardkill I remember I used to do something similar like when I was in college, I wouldn't out right insult chicks like you did, but I would see how far I could neg her before I got blown out of a set. As others have said pushing interactions to the extreme is necessary when learning to get good with women because it deepens your social calibration.

Also women do respond well to "Assholes" but not the way you think, being authentic, relaxed and enforcing boundaries is what gives that vibe off not "insults or acting alpha." You never want to explicitly try to convince a chick your a certain somebody with words she should feel that vibe off you

[Jodistrict]

This is why the authorities are starting to take notice and it is getting harder to approach women in public.  I have a neighbor who is an older lady and likes to do this.  She says things like “You are really a nice guy, it’s not true what everyone is saying about you.”   I know she is trying to be funny, but it is still slightly irritating.  Maybe I am too serious.