Online Dating?

[Scarecrow]

I'm a really shy person and really want to enter the dating world. I figured a good way to start is online dating. anyone know any good sites to use or any good info? thank you 

[ajasatya]

@Scarecrow why are you shy? what are you scared of? are you afraid of facing it? are you afraid of breaking through that?

what are you trying to get from online dating? you're going to find people who are just as shy as you. you're just trying to confirm your own fears.

if you're looking for comfort and safety, i am here to destroy your hopes so you can look straight to your own lies. the sooner you face the pain that already exists within you the better.

if you want to insist anyway, which you will most likely do, go for it. but my words will follow your mind as thoughts as you fall back into dissatisfaction. you can run as much as you want.

Edited January 3, 2017 by ajasatya

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Scarecrow I tried it once, and found it too time consuming....and impersonal....that said...I did meet some people that I could have been friends with if they were perhaps less desperate...when we didn't connect in a romantic way, from my perspective, i'd genuinely offer friendship....it was usually met with "I already have enough friends I only want you as a girlfriend" type thing....my experience aside, I know some people that this online dating approach works well for...ask yourself the questions @ajasatya posed....and also why you are considering online, do you typically communicate best in writing? etc...personally I'd rather meet a stranger in person, on the phone, or even video rather than having to type something....with no tone of voice, inflection, expressions etc...I find there is too much misinterpretation with text...especially if you are looking to actually connect with someone, there is very little energy exchange online....I hope you meet someone rad....force yourself to be bold in person too! Love!

[SFRL]

@Scarecrow you can use Tinder and Match.com. Tinder is free and Match.com you got to pay for. Also their application is somewhat different. There are other sites as well. But if you get those two then you got pretty much the whole spectrum covered. Get both is my advice. 

Next thing is you need to have some good pictures that represent what you currently look like. Get at least three pictures of which at least two only have you in it. The other ones can have your friends or relatives in it but I don't even go that route. 

The pictures are very important when it comes to online dating. Superficial yes. But building a deep connection takes time. To think that you can build that bond after a few weeks time by getting to know the person would be equally superficial. 

Then you need to write a profile. The number one rule is don't lie. Not about your height, your body composure, your income, etc. No lies period. That will always come back to you. Don't start summing up your life story either, or all your negative traits and thoughts. So no mentioning: "I am shy". That just doesn't work. Or: "I have never tried this before, and I don't expect much of it, but we will see" kind of message. That won't work either. 

What you should do is mention your ambitions, any interesting hobby's (not your ant farm), and what you are looking for: Dating and possibly more. 

Don't come up with a whole list of likes and dislikes about a girl. 

When you get those two profiles done I will be happy to share more technique with you. 

 

Edited January 4, 2017 by STC

[Peace and Love]

I've tried the online dating scene before so I am somewhat familiar with it.  I've never used Tinder.com but I've been told by other people that it's more of getting a "piece of ass" rather than looking for a potential partner.  I had a free trial for match.com for 7 days, that I used over the summer of 2016, so I went on like 3 dates with three different men during that week and weeded out the rest.  All in all I had a very good experience.  I may have lucked out because a lot of men find me to be fairly attractive so I got a lot of responses rather quickly.  I don't think I'm anything special, but apparently they do! lol I also looked for specific personality traits and interests so I used the search tools to refine my matches.   I found one guy on match.com that was into enlightenment work and spirituality, and even knew about Leo and had watched some of his videos!   If things had worked out between us I would have definitely said "yes!" to the guy....if you know what I mean.  Unfortunately the relationship didn't make it past the 1 month mark but that's ok, I'm glad I met him.   If I had to I would do it all over again.  The key is quality over quantity.   I had 50 emails of guys and I only went out with 3 of them.  And one of the 3 was the only one I was really interested in and went on a second date with and progressed the relationship.

I've heard you can get better responses from Eharmony.com because you take all of these personality tests, to help you match up with the right people.  Eharmony also allows you to ask specific questions to help you find out if your matches are what you are looking for. Which is cool. 

If things don't always work out for you, you can also try a match making website like tawkify.com.   Right now I'm focused on building my business and pursuing self love, which is essential for any romantic relationship.  But if things don't work out with the dating scene in the next few years after I've found myself, I'm seriously highly considering the matchmaking website.  Basically if you've watched the show Millionaire Matchmaker you'll know what I'm talking about.  Basically you go to a professional match maker and they find you potential matches based off your needs and personality.  They basically do the weeding out and interviewing  for you, so you don't have to worry about going out with the wrong people. It's a bit pricey though and you usually have to commit to like 3-6 months, but they usually give a high probability rate that you will meet someone.  They have a huge database of people that pay a fee per year to be apart of the potential matches.  I'm such a reclusive person because of all my studying and personal development work that I do.  lol.  It is my main priority and what I value right now.   I probably will end up doing this if I decide not to advance myself socially.

Now back to match.com and dating websites ......  You can even use facebook too if you wanted!  And I've done it! lol

You definitely want pictures up there that look like you right now.  Like a good face shot of you smiling.  I've seen a lot of men on these dating sites not really think things through when they post their pictures.  Obviously don't post a picture of yourself or your ex or someone that be can perceived as your significant other. I would steer clear of any pictures of you holding a drink in a bar.  I've seen a lot of guys do this, and I find it personally a turn off. It could easily be perceived as a drinking problem.  I would suggest a good face shot photo of you smiling as your main picture. And a few other photos of you doing something fun that you LOVE doing.  If you like to fish, post a picture of you fishing.  If you like to paint, take a picture of you painting.  If you like to travel post a picture of yourself on a trip.  These pictures show your interests and tell a lot about yourself to other people. If  you have a picture of you holding your dog or cat, they will love it.  If you have kids, and you want to find someone else that has kids, I would post pictures of you and your kids together.  A lot of women are into that.  People need to know the real you.  Be your BEST SELF.  But be honest.  Don't be fake and generic.


When I wrote my profile I showed my best self and what I was looking for and what I like to do.  I didn't write a zillion pages but I wrote like 3 big paragraphs of stuff.  You may want to reflect on what is is you really want, and what's not ok for you.  For me an absolute NO is someone that smokes, since I'm allergic to it.  I could tolerate someone that drinks on occasion but not someone that drinks socially on a regular basis.  I don't drink at all, but you have to be able to compromise.  It is very possible that I might be able to meet someone that I totally click with that drinks.  


Steer clear of writing anything NEGATIVE.  Don't be like....don't talk to me if you're over weight...or you're looking for a guy with money to take care of you I'm not it....instead say...I'm looking for a girl that is into staying in shape and into health like myself and is independent and knows what she wants.   I want someone that is interested in personal development and spiritual growth.  Someone that wants to progress on this beautiful life journey and adventure together.  The positive the better.  I usually ignore the guys that I have zero interest for or block them.  Especially the creeps.    Search for the quality people, and stay away from the negative.


If you are shy though don't be afraid to break the barrier and be strong and brave and get out there and meet people.  STRONG and BRAVE is VERY SEXY!!!!!!!  I love a man that knows what he wants and takes charge.  Trust me....Leo knows what he's doing!!! Don't use this as your only method on meeting women.  Expand your opportunities, and go out often to many different places, and try many different hobbies. etc. to get the most exposure to as many different people as you can!!   If you do the same thing every day with the same people, you are keeping yourself very limited.   My parents met at a BUS STOP! lol  For real!!!!  Of all places.  Happily married 40 years.

When you talk to people by email it does not give any accurate representation of what the person will be like face to face.  One of the three guys that I actually met on match.com...we could talk for literally 8 hours straight online.. he even was a game designer and had his own gaming business (I studied game design so we clicked almost immediately) .but when I met him in person I saw a lot of red flags.   The dating site is only a tool to meet them in person. If you haven't watched Leo's video about dating and the red flags you should look out for, I would do that for sure.

You can also weed out a lot of potential matches by skyping these women.   I actually weeded out a fourth one because he refused to send me pictures that gave me clear screen shots of himself, and refused to skype with me.   He was so eager to meet me in person, and he kept inviting me over to his house...on the first date???   He ended up getting really creepy on me last week, and literally proposed to me online! So you definitely want to be skeptical of who you give your personal information to. 

If the girl looks like a porn star or a super model, it's probably a scam, or a fake profile, or an escort trying to promote her business....just FYI. There are some super hot girls on there, but the likelihood of them being real, is pretty slim.

I hope that helps!  Good Luck and have fun!


 

[SFRL]

On 1/3/2017 at 11:36 PM, Peace and Love said:

I've tried the online dating scene before so I am somewhat familiar with it.  I've never used Tinder.com but I've been told by other people that it's more of getting a "piece of ass" rather than looking for a potential partner.  I had a free trial for match.com for 7 days, that I used over the summer of 2016, so I went on like 3 dates with three different men during that week and weeded out the rest.  All in all I had a very good experience.  I may have lucked out because a lot of men find me to be fairly attractive so I got a lot of responses rather quickly.  I don't think I'm anything special, but apparently they do! lol I also looked for specific personality traits and interests so I used the search tools to refine my matches.   I found one guy on match.com that was into enlightenment work and spirituality, and even knew about Leo and had watched some of his videos!   If things had worked out between us I would have definitely said "yes!" to the guy....if you know what I mean.  Unfortunately the relationship didn't make it past the 1 month mark but that's ok, I'm glad I met him.   If I had to I would do it all over again.  The key is quality over quantity.   I had 50 emails of guys and I only went out with 3 of them.  And one of the 3 was the only one I was really interested in and went on a second date with and progressed the relationship.

I've heard you can get better responses from Eharmony.com because you take all of these personality tests, to help you match up with the right people.  Eharmony also allows you to ask specific questions to help you find out if your matches are what you are looking for. Which is cool. 

If things don't always work out for you, you can also try a match making website like tawkify.com.   Right now I'm focused on building my business and pursuing self love, which is essential for any romantic relationship.  But if things don't work out with the dating scene in the next few years after I've found myself, I'm seriously highly considering the matchmaking website.  Basically if you've watched the show Millionaire Matchmaker you'll know what I'm talking about.  Basically you go to a professional match maker and they find you potential matches based off your needs and personality.  They basically do the weeding out and interviewing  for you, so you don't have to worry about going out with the wrong people. It's a bit pricey though and you usually have to commit to like 3-6 months, but they usually give a high probability rate that you will meet someone.  They have a huge database of people that pay a fee per year to be apart of the potential matches.  I'm such a reclusive person because of all my studying and personal development work that I do.  lol.  It is my main priority and what I value right now.   I probably will end up doing this if I decide not to advance myself socially.

Now back to match.com and dating websites ......  You can even use facebook too if you wanted!  And I've done it! lol

You definitely want pictures up there that look like you right now.  Like a good face shot of you smiling.  I've seen a lot of men on these dating sites not really think things through when they post their pictures.  Obviously don't post a picture of yourself or your ex or someone that be can perceived as your significant other. I would steer clear of any pictures of you holding a drink in a bar.  I've seen a lot of guys do this, and I find it personally a turn off. It could easily be perceived as a drinking problem.  I would suggest a good face shot photo of you smiling as your main picture. And a few other photos of you doing something fun that you LOVE doing.  If you like to fish, post a picture of you fishing.  If you like to paint, take a picture of you painting.  If you like to travel post a picture of yourself on a trip.  These pictures show your interests and tell a lot about yourself to other people. If  you have a picture of you holding your dog or cat, they will love it.  If you have kids, and you want to find someone else that has kids, I would post pictures of you and your kids together.  A lot of women are into that.  People need to know the real you.  Be your BEST SELF.  But be honest.  Don't be fake and generic.


When I wrote my profile I showed my best self and what I was looking for and what I like to do.  I didn't write a zillion pages but I wrote like 3 big paragraphs of stuff.  You may want to reflect on what is is you really want, and what's not ok for you.  For me an absolute NO is someone that smokes, since I'm allergic to it.  I could tolerate someone that drinks on occasion but not someone that drinks socially on a regular basis.  I don't drink at all, but you have to be able to compromise.  It is very possible that I might be able to meet someone that I totally click with that drinks.  


Steer clear of writing anything NEGATIVE.  Don't be like....don't talk to me if you're over weight...or you're looking for a guy with money to take care of you I'm not it....instead say...I'm looking for a girl that is into staying in shape and into health like myself and is independent and knows what she wants.   I want someone that is interested in personal development and spiritual growth.  Someone that wants to progress on this beautiful life journey and adventure together.  The positive the better.  I usually ignore the guys that I have zero interest for or block them.  Especially the creeps.    Search for the quality people, and stay away from the negative.


If you are shy though don't be afraid to break the barrier and be strong and brave and get out there and meet people.  STRONG and BRAVE is VERY SEXY!!!!!!!  I love a man that knows what he wants and takes charge.  Trust me....Leo knows what he's doing!!! Don't use this as your only method on meeting women.  Expand your opportunities, and go out often to many different places, and try many different hobbies. etc. to get the most exposure to as many different people as you can!!   If you do the same thing every day with the same people, you are keeping yourself very limited.   My parents met at a BUS STOP! lol  For real!!!!  Of all places.  Happily married 40 years.

When you talk to people by email it does not give any accurate representation of what the person will be like face to face.  One of the three guys that I actually met on match.com...we could talk for literally 8 hours straight online.. he even was a game designer and had his own gaming business (I studied game design so we clicked almost immediately) .but when I met him in person I saw a lot of red flags.   The dating site is only a tool to meet them in person. If you haven't watched Leo's video about dating and the red flags you should look out for, I would do that for sure.

You can also weed out a lot of potential matches by skyping these women.   I actually weeded out a fourth one because he refused to send me pictures that gave me clear screen shots of himself, and refused to skype with me.   He was so eager to meet me in person, and he kept inviting me over to his house...on the first date???   He ended up getting really creepy on me last week, and literally proposed to me online! So you definitely want to be skeptical of who you give your personal information to. 

If the girl looks like a porn star or a super model, it's probably a scam, or a fake profile, or an escort trying to promote her business....just FYI. There are some super hot girls on there, but the likelihood of them being real, is pretty slim.

I hope that helps!  Good Luck and have fun!


 

 

@Scarecrow she @Peace and Love did you a favor by giving a woman's perspective. And she did you give you a lot of other good advice. 

 

You are not going to get 50 e-mails in a week's time and "weed out" 3 people you like, as she put it, out of those 50 e-mails and go on dates to see which one you like the best. 

 

That's a females perspective and a fundamental difference when it comes to men and women when it comes to dating. Women are the ones that get approached and that is very true for online dating as well. As a man you will have to make your presence known to several women and then you can do your "weeding out" from there so to speak. 

 

How are those profiles coming along? 

Edited January 5, 2017 by STC

[Peace and Love]

@STC @Scarecrow

Actually.... 2 out of the 3 men I approached (as in sent out the first email, or winked) on match.com.   I knew what I was looking for, so I was able to use the search engine tool to find them.   I let them pursue me after that.  I can't make someone like me if they're not interested.  Even the guy on facebook that I ended up going on a date with, I sent him a friend request and I think I might have sent an email too.  I didn't chase the guy, but I gave subtle hints that I might be interested...like ...i liked a few of his pictures.  But the email was like....hey I saw that you like kayaking, and I LOVE kayaking and am new to the area, where is a good place to go?  I wasn't like hey you're hot.....will you go out with me??...lol And I wouldn't want that from a guy either, it gives off a very creepy bad vibe. I don't want a guy that's hungry.  I want a guy that's real.

I'll use this as an example because this really happened.  TRUE STORY... My dad recently passed away not too long ago and my mom was at the grocery store last week just doing her typical food shopping and she met some guy.....  the guy, his name is Mark BTW.    Mark simply doing his normal shopping, every day stuff, was also looking at the same salad dressings as my mom and he asked my mother what's a good low sodium salad dressing to get because his Doctor told him he has to go on a low sodium diet.   They talked for a while on various stuff. He told her that he had an autistic son, and my mom told him that he had a drama queen daughter! lol  ....and eventually  he asked for her number and now they're going on a date.....because they talked about SALAD DRESSING!!!  The KEY is in the approach.

But the pursuing thing is actually really SEXY. lol. It's apart of what makes a man a MAN.  But yeah women can approach you and it can happen online. But you really have to put yourself out there.  Why not go after what you want?  Life is too short to live in fear.

Your Shyness could be caused possibly by a "childhood vow".   Have you seen Leo's video about that?  Why not change it?  You deserve to have abundance and success in your life even relationships.

To be very honest with you, I used to be very skeptical and Anti- PUA....  but now that I understand the purpose of what PUA is and how it builds a man up and makes him more confident... I'm totally all for it.   Master Mark's "Salad dressing technique"!   Learn about reading body language, learn how to give good body language, eye contact, tone of voice, how to dress attractively that accentuates your physique,etc.    PUA is great for building up your self confidence if done correctly.  And most importantly it's fun!   PUA gets it's bad rap from the media.  The media has no place in my life.  I turned off the TV a long time ago! 

[SFRL]

@Peace and Love yeah women do approach men as well online. I have had women approach me. But fact is far more man approach women online then women approaching men. So I cant tell @Scarecrow that he should sit back and wait for a woman to approach him. 

Plus its more manly to be in the drivers seat. Me personally I like to pick the girls that I talk to. Like you said yourself, pursuing is part of what makes a man. 

And yeah I agree, I have sworn off the TV a long time ago as well. 

[Peace and Love]

@STC

1 hour ago, STC said:

@Peace and Love yeah women do approach men as well online. I have had women approach me. But fact is far more man approach women online then women approaching men. So I cant tell @Scarecrow that he should sit back and wait for a woman to approach him. 

Plus its more manly to be in the drivers seat. Me personally I like to pick the girls that I talk to. Like you said yourself, pursuing is part of what makes a man. 

And yeah I agree, I have sworn off the TV a long time ago as well. 

That is most certainly true.  And I completely agree. Over last summer (2016) the guy on facebook invited me to his birthday bash he was having at a bar with his friends.  That's how we went on our first date.  He tried to entice me to go by bringing vegan tiramisu for his birthday cake....lol  Which was both of our favorites. When I came to his party, he was the pursuer.....he met me out in the parking lot, introduced me to all his friends, bought me a drink.  He was definitely very dominant, very take charge.  I got along very well with his friends, which were a healthy mix of both men and women, and we chatted up a storm.  I knew he had a serious crush on me because of the way his friends knew so much about me before hand.  He didn't have to say words, it was by his actions, his body language, and I really liked that.  I had a really great time.

All the guys I met on match.com in person were the ones that initiated the date.  They asked me to meet them somewhere.  And they picked the place!  I like when they make the choice on where to go.  I like being the submissive and the follower.  I don't like being dominant, it doesn't feel natural to me, like it does to a man.  In fact too much of it doesn't make me feel good.  That's what so interesting about masculinity and femininity....yin and yang...they are both opposites but they compliment each other.  They also balance each other out.

The guy I ended up dating for a month, he actually lived two hours away from me but we had so much in common and such a strong connection we knew we had to meet up and give it a shot.  He found a mutual middle point on where we could both meet.  We ate at this nice restaurant and went bowling and played some old vintage Nintendo games.  He never tried to touch me inappropriately or anything, but omg.....the chemistry was off the charts! lol  I'm a little different than most girls are....I actually refuse to go on movie dates when I first meet a man because I know their intention is to get physical.  I'm very analytical on my first dates because I want to see if this is anyone I really want to pursue a relationship with.  Sometimes I won't even kiss the guy at all on the first date.  I take things slow.  I want to see how much self control a man has.  I want to see if he is going to respect me.  I look for red flags.  I have an edge most girls don't have because I have that hypnosis/life coaching background so I catch on things rather quickly, but I know how to talk to man to make him feel comfortable enough to open up to me and tell me just about anything.  I have that non judgemental easy going attitude.   But this guy.....I couldn't hold myself back.  In fact we had so much chemistry we had sex on the third date.  It would have been on the second date if it weren't for the fact we had a place to go. lol  I was very skeptical about having sex so early in a relationship but because I had seen some of the stuff Leo was showing on actualized.org I went along with it.  It felt right.  I find that the sex can be distracting when getting to know someone.  You overlook the red flags because everything feels so good and blissful.  With a woman oxytocin comes into play...it's a bonding hormone....it's what keeps men and women together for long periods of time, especially when having kids. It makes women very emotionally tied to the man.   When I broke it off with this guy...I cried for two days straight.  So this is not something I would want to do with just anyone.  I can tell you though that when my parents met ...my mom waited a week....lol....but she knew what she wanted, and my dad fit the bill and checklist of things she was looking for, so that was it! lol

Humor is also a great ice breaker.....I refuse to date a guy that doesn't have a good sense of humor.  I need a little weird in my life! lol   Humor is great for PUA stuff too.

 

Edited January 6, 2017 by Peace and Love

[SFRL]

54 minutes ago, Peace and Love said:

@STC

That is most certainly true.  And I completely agree. Over last summer (2016) the guy on facebook invited me to his birthday bash he was having at a bar with his friends.  That's how we went on our first date.  He tried to entice me to go by bringing vegan tiramisu for his birthday cake....lol  Which was both of our favorites. When I came to his party, he was the pursuer.....he met me out in the parking lot, introduced me to all his friends, bought me a drink.  He was definitely very dominant, very take charge.  I got along very well with his friends, which were a healthy mix of both men and women, and we chatted up a storm.  I knew he had a serious crush on me because of the way his friends knew so much about me before hand.  He didn't have to say words, it was by his actions, his body language, and I really liked that.  I had a really great time.

All the guys I met on match.com in person were the ones that initiated the date.  They asked me to meet them somewhere.  And they picked the place!  I like when they make the choice on where to go.  I like being the submissive and the follower.  I don't like being dominant, it doesn't feel natural to me, like it does to a man.  In fact too much of it doesn't make me feel good.  That's what so interesting about masculinity and femininity....yin and yang...they are both opposites but they compliment each other.  They also balance each other out.

The guy I ended up dating for a month, he actually lived two hours away from me but we had so much in common and such a strong connection we knew we had to meet up and give it a shot.  He found a mutual middle point on where we could both meet.  We ate at this nice restaurant and went bowling and played some old vintage Nintendo games.  He never tried to touch me inappropriately or anything, but omg.....the chemistry was off the charts! lol  I'm a little different than most girls are....I actually refuse to go on movie dates when I first meet a man because I know their intention is to get physical.  I'm very analytical on my first dates because I want to see if this is anyone I really want to pursue a relationship with.  Sometimes I won't even kiss the guy at all on the first date.  I take things slow.  I want to see how much self control a man has.  I want to see if he is going to respect me.  I look for red flags.  I have an edge most girls don't have because I have that hypnosis/life coaching background so I catch on things rather quickly, but I know how to talk to man to make him feel comfortable enough to open up to me and tell me just about anything.  I have that non judgemental easy going attitude.   But this guy.....I couldn't hold myself back.  In fact we had so much chemistry we had sex on the third date.  It would have been on the second date if it weren't for the fact we had a place to go. lol  I was very skeptical about having sex so early in a relationship but because I had seen some of the stuff Leo was showing on actualized.org I went along with it.  It felt right.  I find that the sex can be distracting when getting to know someone.  You overlook the red flags because everything feels so good and blissful.  With a woman oxytocin comes into play...it's a bonding hormone....it's what keeps men and women together for long periods of time, especially when having kids. It makes women very emotionally tied to the man.   When I broke it off with this guy...I cried for two days straight.  So this is not something I would want to do with just anyone.  I can tell you though that when my parents met ...my mom waited a week....lol....but she knew what she wanted, and my dad fit the bill and checklist of things she was looking for, so that was it! lol

Humor is also a great ice breaker.....I refuse to date a guy that doesn't have a good sense of humor.  I need a little weird in my life! lol   Humor is great for PUA stuff too.

 

Yeah I would never meet a woman halfway driving distance on the first date. That still makes the guy half a woman. The first date the guy should drive the full length. But I dont mind driving. In a relationship it would be different sometimes if it is necessary for logistics.   

To me if no serious action takes place within the first 3 dates then that is really not something I would pursue further I think. 

Not at least a kiss on the first date that would be a letdown as well. Then maybe if she is nice there can be a second date, but if after that second date there still is no action going on then thats not something I would pursue further either.

As far as the Red Flags go. That can be tricky because if you long and hard enough you can find fault in anyone. I think especially later in life if people had a few bad experiences then they get so paranoid they are constantly on the look out for these Red Flags that they cant just let things unfold. 

 

Edited January 6, 2017 by STC

[Peace and Love]

@STC

18 minutes ago, STC said:

Yeah I would never meet a woman halfway driving distance on the first date. That still makes the guy half a woman. The first date the guy should drive the full length. But I dont mind driving. In a relationship it would be different sometimes if it is necessary for logistics.   

To me if no serious action takes place within the first 3 dates then that is really not something I would pursue further I think. 

Not at least a kiss on the first date that would be a letdown as well. Then maybe if she is nice there can be a second date, but if after that second date there still is no action going on then thats not something I would pursue further either.

As far as the Red Flags go. That can be tricky because if you long and hard enough you can find fault in anyone. I think especially later in life if people had a few bad experiences then they get so paranoid they are constantly on the look out for these Red Flags that they cant just let things unfold. 

 

I'm not talking as red flags from a point of being paranoid because everyone has their faults.  We have to take the good and bad with everyone.  I'm talking more on the line of what Leo states in his videos.   But if you see signs of potential abuse or something seriouously wrong...you have to take action.

The reasons I let the guys go, were for very very good reasons.

The guy I met at the birthday party....he got very very drunk....and told me why he really wanted to get married because his dad was going to pay off his school loans and entire debt if he had kids!!  Daddy wanted grandkids.  The guy wasn't looking for love...he was looking to pay off his bills and the guy was previously divorced and zero kids form the first marriage.  

 

[SFRL]

13 minutes ago, Peace and Love said:

@STC

I'm not talking as red flags from a point of being paranoid because everyone has their faults.  We have to take the good and bad with everyone.  I'm talking more on the line of what Leo states in his videos.   But if you see signs of potential abuse or something seriouously wrong...you have to take action.

The reasons I let the guys go, were for very very good reasons.

The guy I met at the birthday party....he got very very drunk....and told me why he really wanted to get married because his dad was going to pay off his school loans and entire debt if he had kids!!  Daddy wanted grandkids.  The guy wasn't looking for love...he was looking to pay off his bills and the guy was previously divorced and zero kids form the first marriage.  

 

Lol!! Yeah that's just wrong in several ways. 

[Peace and Love]

@STC The guy that I dated for a month....I could write a book on him.  I was really devastated that things didn't work out.  I'll PM if you want.  I respect him too much to write what happened here.  I wanted to make things work with him, but he kept messing up really really bad. I gave him three chances to prove himself and I communicated clearly with him, but he just was not ready to be in a committed relationship of any kind. He had access baggage from another relationship that he had not dealt with that he was bringing into ours.  The sex made it a lot worse, because it made me very attached to him.  That's why Leo says to have so much caution when having sex with women that you are interested in dating and pursuing a relationship with..... it's one thing to just go out and do it fun.....but it's another thing if your intentions are to build something special. 


After I broke up with this guy I was dating, he kept texting me every few weeks to check in with me, but he finally stopped in October/November.  I just refused to respond.  I deserve more respect than how he was treating me. 

I get what you are saying though.  Men are indeed very physical, and they need that to feel love. Women need more of the emotional aspect so they can be physical with a man.  The likelihood of following Leo's advice again about sex early on will be very unlikely......My guard is up and I'm not taking it down for anyone........unless he can miraculously meet my emotional needs, (which a lot of men are not familiar with unless reading alot of the books on Leo's list or heavily involved in the good aspects of PUA.)    But to be honest with you that guy I met...the stuff that happened to him....it's hard to explain without writing it...it was really a freak accident.   My hypnosis reiki gifts saved my ass from another messed up relationship! lol

[SFRL]

@Peace and Love sure PM me. 

[Guest Annetta]

I personally don't trust online dating unless I have met the person before or we know someone mutually... you never know who that person could be.  Be safe!!!

[Peace and Love]

@Babybat

On 1/7/2017 at 7:47 PM, Babybat said:

I personally don't trust online dating unless I have met the person before or we know someone mutually... you never know who that person could be.  Be safe!!!

I totally agree.  A lot of the times I meet them on skype before hand and I talk with them back and forth for some time to make sure there is some chemistry there to begin with.  I usually meet them in a big public place with lots of people, and it usually involves like a coffee shop or a restaurant.  I completely steer clear of movie theaters or being any place where we can be one on one.  I might be a little more brave and daring than most people because I can pick up on red flags really easily.  

I actually had one guy at the end of my 7 day subscription with match.com that got really weird and refused to go skype with me and wouldn't send me any clear pictures of himself.  Most of them were blurry.  He kept insisting that I come over to his house and play video games....lol....I don't think so! It was totally obvious he was looking for a piece of ass.   If you skype with the guy you will know if he's lying about his photos and know what he looks like.  You can talk to him safely without being physically present.  If he won't skype with you, you know right away there is something wrong.  Any guy that is caring and understanding will pick up on this and will be fine. 

The guy that I met on facebook, (I mentioned in the comments above) he was a friend of someone that I went to college with.  And I talked with him back and forth for over a month before I even made a decision to see him.

[Diandies]

A lot of scammers! And it takes time but you can find really good people on some sites. You may go through many before you find a good one but you can. In my opinion it's better to read few reviews of dating sites here https://gloriousbride.com/usa-dating-sites/ before start using them

[Spiral]

Only tried strange and do mean really strange swedish websites. Had some success especially in the beginning but quickly found the people of the website were quite awful and at best desperate.

Not saying all dating websites are like that but make sure to get to know them before you invite them home or go home to their place. I say that and is male so for females this is even more critical. 

Its great practice if you’re not confident in your dating abilities as you end up hopefully meeting quite a bunch.

Edited October 3, 2018 by Spiral