Trying to make sense of what happned to me when i was young was it awaking

[Ash55]

When i was very young i joined a suifi group well specifically they was Naqshbandiyya i took it very seriously and i used to meditate almost Everyday its crazy for me to remember i was there one day, someday i used to meditate for 4 to 5 hours a day the type of meditation was to recite the world allah (god) non verbally just in the heart one day i sat down to mediate a lone in a room i was literally trying to clear my mind from all thoughts and my brain exploded hearing how they describe dmt experience kinda similar but no faces just complex geometry  was there, there was like entities trying to tell me things the whole weeks how everything is interconnected and how am god but it was a very devilish way in my mind to hold that at that time i was very conservatives (stage blue Muslim dogmatic) so these things was like heresy to my mind i wasn't it created an inner conflict, but the crazy thing that t still dont understand and cant comprehend is some magic power that (i dont remember that clearly so my memory is kinda vague and it was extremely shocking to me to experience it if i actually experience it kinda seem i was out of my mind )  (i dont really believe in the materialistic paradigm now i think) i was able to have a very subtle degrees of mental manipulation convening people really easily calming them down very a great anger (i only had this crazy thing for few days) , weird entities communicated with me i have no clue what da f was that but i remember that i can hear communication from outside me, i really crazy thing that happened to me i friend of mine show me advanced physics book i was able to grasp one chapter of it by just holding it, I experienced seeing few weird entities it might be psychosis, after these wacky week or tow in my life i became a bit unstable then back to normal, this even disturbed made me lost i literally turned into agnostic atheist after a while, after discovering Leo i start to make sense of what da f happened to me, i cant be 100% sure if what happened to me did actually happen to me lol the line between dreams and reality was extremely blurry, this experience was really shocking to me so after i went back to the conventional state i denied it lol.
So i now after several years i wanna actually make sense of this and i wanna ask you does any one or is it known to experience these things together 
and how likely is it to experience awaken by just practicing meditation for few years as a kid, and btw a weird entity in that even tried to explain to me how reality is relative and its a construct of the human brain and how if we changed the fundamental foundation of our thought it will alter our reality.
Does any one here experienced a communication with weird entities after meditation lol am i crazy.

[tlowedajuicemayne]

I can't say whether it was awakening or not, only you could know that. What I can say for sure is that whatever it was, it has left you deeply confused. You could spend a lifetime trying to understand your past but you'd never get to the bottom of it truly, because it is gone. What is here right now on the other hand, can be investigated by you to no end and you can get to the bottom of it!  I can't tell you what to do but perhaps it would be more fruitful to investigate the latter. 

[BipolarGrowth]

Sounds like a series of mystical experiences rather than an awakening technically. Looks like it could’ve easily turned into a deeper awakening if your ego wasn’t resisting as much at the time. 
 

Nothing crazy about it. And I know crazy. 

[omar30]

4 hours ago, Ash55 said:

btw a weird entity in that even tried to explain to me how reality is relative and its a construct of the human brain and how if we changed the fundamental foundation of our thought it will alter our reality.

how this is crazy can you explain more in detail if you can remember and what kind of practices you were doing?

[Ash55]

@BipolarGrowth  Actually my ego was resisting it really hard
@omar30 Just sitting in silence and trying to focus on my mind as far as i remember 

[Nahm]

@Ash55

‘The power’ empties out the illusory dualities of the finite mind, and then empties ‘itself’ of the so called finite mind. Experientially (yet not actually) this is “losing your mind”, until it is clear there is no such things as losing your minds. Depending on if & how context is held in regard to this experience, the experience can very much vary.  

The experience of this with long sits can be similar to the body load phase of a psychedelic trip. As the mental dualities empty out, there is sometimes an experience of, you might say, the mixing of thought (conceptualizations of ‘the power’) & perception, often referred to as hallucination(s). It’s not uncommon apparently for this emptying of the dualities of others to be experienced perceptively like a bunch of eyes looking at you, and even deities, God’s, entities etc.  

Resistance to the emptying out could be related to being young and doing such long sits. It’s a rare combo, such a young age doing such long sits. A shorter duration with perfect daily consistency might be a much easier experience of emptying. And it’s ok to let go of beliefs which came from others. Just sittin, relaxin, breathing. No biggie. All loss is conceptual, and emotional clarity stands to change this emptying experience such that there is no ‘mixing’ experienced, no hallucinations, no projections, no fear of loss at all. 

Then consider, if you like, the longer sits resulted in an actual change of the frequencies of the entirety or whole of experience, hence the ‘siddhi’s zone’ was experienced, leaving perhaps a mix of dualities and ‘the power’, experientially seemingly like you had the power, and the power ‘comes & goes’. With shorter more consistent sits, it is more smoothly and clearly ‘seen’ this is not the case. 

[BipolarGrowth]

@Ash55 that’s to be expected. Just realize you have some innate connection to spirituality which might be somewhat rare, and keep practicing consistently. Next time you can use that connection to actually hit some deeper awakenings now that you have more understanding of things and likely at least a bit less resistance to it.