How to deal with getting constantly interrupted while speaking?

[Kross]

Quite a few people might need to give this basic video a watch:

Some people just don't know how to let someone who's talking to them, finish what they are talking about without interrupting. I've got a few friends who do this. What do you do when you are being constantly cut off? 

Edited December 26, 2021 by Kross

[Terell Kirby]

I just let it go honestly .. if it gets really irritating, I’ll just stop engaging conversation with that person altogether.

[Arcangelo]

3 hours ago, Terell Kirby said:

I just let it go honestly .. if it gets really irritating, I’ll just stop engaging conversation with that person altogether.

NO. Bad advice.

 

Charisma on command advice:

You don't acknowledge it, you don't even flinch or even look at the person.You keep talking like when you hear a dog bark, the wind or the rain. Then, after you are finished, you tell that person: -"Hey you were saying something about X and X"

You

are

welcome!

[CuriousCreature]

41 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

NO. Bad advice.

 

Charisma on command advice:

You don't acknowledge it, you don't even flinch or even look at the person.You keep talking like when you hear a dog bark, the wind or the rain. Then, after you are finished, you tell that person: -"Hey you were saying something about X and X"

You

are

welcome!

Yes, I second this. My father is a chronic interrupter, he just gets very excited when sometimes jumps into his mind and want to say it right away. Also sometimes my whole family is this way, and everybody talks at the same time, its just chaos

The best way to deal with this, is to take a hold of the conversation, be the captain that steers the ship, be the moderator. If you are speaking, just finish what you wanted, interrupt back the interrupter.

If you let it slide, you just reinforce the bad habits of the interrupter in my opinion.

[Danioover9000]

@CuriousCreature

On 26/12/2021 at 11:01 PM, CuriousCreature said:

Yes, I second this. My father is a chronic interrupter, he just gets very excited when sometimes jumps into his mind and want to say it right away. Also sometimes my whole family is this way, and everybody talks at the same time, its just chaos

The best way to deal with this, is to take a hold of the conversation, be the captain that steers the ship, be the moderator. If you are speaking, just finish what you wanted, interrupt back the interrupter.

If you let it slide, you just reinforce the bad habits of the interrupter in my opinion.

   This is peetty good practice. Always finish what you are saying, the whole sentence and statement. Plow through the noise.

[Danioover9000]

@Arcangelo

On 26/12/2021 at 10:13 PM, Arcangelo said:

NO. Bad advice.

 

Charisma on command advice:

You don't acknowledge it, you don't even flinch or even look at the person.You keep talking like when you hear a dog bark, the wind or the rain. Then, after you are finished, you tell that person: -"Hey you were saying something about X and X"

You

are

welcome!

   Nice. Charism on command is a good channel to learn social proofing.

[Terell Kirby]

On 12/26/2021 at 5:13 PM, Arcangelo said:

NO. Bad advice.

 

Charisma on command advice:

You don't acknowledge it, you don't even flinch or even look at the person.You keep talking like when you hear a dog bark, the wind or the rain. Then, after you are finished, you tell that person: -"Hey you were saying something about X and X"

You

are

welcome!

Sounds like an ego driven approach. Quite immature.

[Danioover9000]

@Terell Kirby

23 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

Sounds like an ego driven approach. Quite immature.

   It all depends on the context, that either makes or breaks down the advice. Your advice might be helpful, if you are able to avoid engaging the person, zone out. If you can, great, but the other person might not be able to. Also, sometimes social situation is such that you just can't leave or excuse yourself away. You have to engage with the person social, play the social game a bit, and conform to the fontext. But what if you can't because of near constant interruptions, and you as a self is a people pleaser? In this situation, you need another piece of advice, which is to talk past the interruptions as if those interruptions don't exist, and play for the lead in conversations. And in another situation, talking past interruptions might not be good, because of changes in context, which demand different advice. You see the relativity? Your advice is great in proper context, but it's not the absolute solution to dealing with interruptions.

[Terell Kirby]

1 minute ago, Danioover9000 said:

But what if you can't because of near constant interruptions, and you as a self is a people pleaser? 

I already mentioned that if your emotions are getting triggered from interacting with someone who is constantly interrupting you, then you should minimize or cease contact.

It’s not about “teaching that person a lesson”. You need to take responsibility for what you’ll tolerate and not tolerate in a mature way.

[Danioover9000]

@Terell Kirby

12 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

I already mentioned that if your emotions are getting triggered from interacting with someone who is constantly interrupting you, then you should minimize or cease contact.

It’s not about “teaching that person a lesson”. You need to take responsibility for what you’ll tolerate and not tolerate in a mature way.

  To be fair, the OP asked what other users would do in a situation where you are being cut off most of the time. You answered what YOU would do. @arcangelo answered what he would do. I answered how I would do it, with emphasis on being context sensitive. We have done our part, up to OP. The end.

[itachi uchiha]

Just get used to it

[kag101]

On 26/12/2021 at 3:18 PM, Kross said:

Quite a few people might need to give this basic video a watch:

 

lol, you're right.

i'd also add that a lot of people pretend like they're listening, but in reality they're just waiting for you to finish so they can say what's already on their mind. when i notice that is happening, i simply don't waste my energy. i stop speaking and as soon as i can i end the conversation in a polite way. i've learned that i shouldn't argue so that others hear what i have to say.

if i have some intimacy with the person, then i might say something like, "hold on, i'm not finished", but i only do that if it's worth it.

 

53 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

You don't acknowledge it, you don't even flinch or even look at the person.You keep talking like when you hear a dog bark, the wind or the rain. Then, after you are finished, you tell that person: -"Hey you were saying something about X and X"

45 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

Sounds like an ego driven approach. Quite immature.

I agree.

These wannabe-alpha approaches are not effective irl. It'll quickly become a competition, and no one's gonna listen to anyone.

 

[The Lucid Dreamer]

It depends on the nature of the conversation and the relationship I have with the person I’m talking to, but most of the time I just literally say, “Hold on.”(while smiling) in a sort of non-aggressive yet firm way just to let them know I expect for them to let me finish my thoughts. This usually does the trick, if the person is even half conscious. 

A few times I’ve actually had to stop them and be like “Listen, if we’re gonna have a conversation, you gotta let me speak so we can have a mutual back and forth, otherwise we’re not having a conversation; this is just you talking at me.”

That is totally last resort, though. It’s usually not worth it to do that if it’s just a casual conversation, because it will usually upset them and change the tone of the conversation entirely.  It’s only worth it to do that if you’re having a sort of serious conversation.

 

 

[Kross]

I feel like practicing what @Arcangelo and @CuriousCreature suggested.     

@Terell Kirby I don't think stopping to engage with the person is the better (or practical) solution here, for this problem can be solved rather easily by setting a precedent between you two by letting them know that you won't tolerate being constantly cut off, by finishing your sentence despite their interruption. This is just a social tactic to eliminate a problem faced during conversations and make it a better experience for both the people. 

[flume]

@flowboy made a video about that

 

[flowboy]

@Kross 

TL;DR: If people are interrupting you, there is probably an error in where you put your attention when speaking.

First thing you do is investigate whether this is a problem with the other person, with you, or a combination.

Hint: it's usually a combination.

If you are having interactions with multiple people who tend to cut you off, it's worth doing an internal investigation.

Do you feel worthy? Do you feel like what you have to say is valuable?

 

Then, if you have your mindset handled, it's time to bring it across.
See my video above: speak with intensity, and keep focus on the value that you are transmitting. Thanks for the mention, @flume.

A good visualisation to do, is to imagine energy streaming from your root chakra, through your heart, into your hands, where it forms a ball of energy. This ball of energy represents the value that you are providing by speaking.

And by keeping your attention on transmitting that value to the other person, you make that energy stronger, drawing other people in so that everyone wants to pay attention.

That is different from getting in your head, and pulling a list of bullet points from your mind. This is boring, and will make people lose attention and want to interrupt you.

While you are speaking, you should also at all times have some awareness on the listener, and on the fact that you are helping them by saying this. If that service aspect is missing, you are speaking selfishly and people feel this.

When someone talks over you, just keep speaking.

Look them in the eye and check if they are still following along with you.

If they look confused or distracted, you might address it directly, and check in with a question: are you following me here?

If that all fails, you may just be dealing with a person who doesn't have basic listening skills, or doesn't really want to hear what you have to say.

So then you have to address this.

Address the situation, not the person.

Good: "Are you sure you want to hear this? Because your behavior of interrupting me, tells me otherwise. We don't have to keep talking. It's fine with me."

Bad: "Shut up, I'm talking and you're disrespectful."

Edited January 3, 2022 by flowboy

[Kross]

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

@Kross 

TL;DR: If people are interrupting you, there is probably an error in where you put your attention when speaking.

First thing you do is investigate whether this is a problem with the other person, with you, or a combination.

Hint: it's usually a combination.

If you are having interactions with multiple people who tend to cut you off, it's worth doing an internal investigation.

Do you feel worthy? Do you feel like what you have to say is valuable?

 

Then, if you have your mindset handled, it's time to bring it across.
See my video above: speak with intensity, and keep focus on the value that you are transmitting. Thanks for the mention, @flume.

A good visualisation to do, is to imagine energy streaming from your root chakra, through your heart, into your hands, where it forms a ball of energy. This ball of energy represents the value that you are providing by speaking.

And by keeping your attention on transmitting that value to the other person, you make that energy stronger, drawing other people in so that everyone wants to pay attention.

That is different from getting in your head, and pulling a list of bullet points from your mind. This is boring, and will make people lose attention and want to interrupt you.

While you are speaking, you should also at all times have some awareness on the listener, and on the fact that you are helping them by saying this. If that service aspect is missing, you are speaking selfishly and people feel this.

When someone talks over you, just keep speaking.

Look them in the eye and check if they are still following along with you.

If they look confused or distracted, you might address it directly, and check in with a question: are you following me here?

If that all fails, you may just be dealing with a person who doesn't have basic listening skills, or doesn't really want to hear what you have to say.

So then you have to address this.

Address the situation, not the person.

Good: "Are you sure you want to hear this? Because your behavior of interrupting me, tells me otherwise. We don't have to keep talking. It's fine with me."

Bad: "Shut up, I'm talking and you're disrespectful."

@flowboy Thank you for this!

And your video was great too.