What Women With Autism Want You To Know

[Bernardo Carleial]

This is my first topic on this thread (I think...)

I don't have much to say because the video is quite self-explanatory. But because I think it provides us with such honesty and high quality information about autism on women, and the way they carry it through in our society,  that I decided to share it and try to have a discussion about it.??

 

Edited December 24, 2021 by Bernardo Carleial

[Windappreciator]

it's a right brain half dysfunction leading to less capabilities to be in the moment, just let things happen, be intuitive, feel into stuff, so you overly analyse and neuroticise

Edited December 24, 2021 by Windappreciator

[Nahm]

@Bernardo Carleial

Just an exploratory question for ya, curious what comes up… how would you describe autism without separate selves? 

[Bernardo Carleial]

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Bernardo Carleial

Just an exploratory question for ya, curious what comes up… how would you describe autism without separate selves? 

Hello @Nahm

I must confess that I did not understood your question?, could you explain me a little more what do you want me to explore??

[Nahm]

@Bernardo Carleial

Put another way… describe what autism is… curious as to whatever comes to mind. But describe autism, and not any individual.  

[Bernardo Carleial]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

@Bernardo Carleial

Put another way… describe what autism is… curious as to whatever comes to mind. But describe autism, and not any individual.  

Oh.. okay  now I get it! 

I would describe as a mental processing (wiring(?)) Which "designs the brain" to become "highly pragmatic" and "overly efficient" in the "objective world",  but it has a hard time accessing the subject world of introspection and intuition (most the time), and, because this function is lacking to some degree, there is a gap in relating to other subjective minds in our human interactions...

I know I'm not being able to explain eloquently, it is a tricky thing to try to access other people's "being-in-the-world" so to speak... and even if do , I'm aware that I'm projecting a lot of my biases and impressions/experiences about reality that might relate to this topic...

But thanks for asking @Nahm!

it was a very interesting (and challenging) thought exercise...

Here is a video by Jordan Peterson, posted by  @Carl-Richard, in which he gives more insightful examples of what might be happening inside the mind of an autistic person. 

 

 

Edited December 25, 2021 by Bernardo Carleial

[Nahm]

19 minutes ago, Bernardo Carleial said:

but having a hard time in accessing their

Not in disagreement with anything you’ve shared, nor anything in the video. But who are you talking about? Who are they talking about? 

[Raptorsin7]

No one IS autistic in the sense that is permanent and unchanging across time. 

But try to tell that to the people in the video and they will take as an attack on their very identity, and they will look at you like you are crazy

[Bernardo Carleial]

4 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Not in disagreement with anything you’ve shared, nor anything in the video. But who are you talking about? Who are they talking about? 

Interesting... seems like you're trying to disassociate as much as possible the "subject" from its "behavior" and see what comes out of this... right now the best I can do is to contemplate about it...??

[Loba]

@Raptorsin7 They would probably say that it is permanent, but also changing, I doubt they would take it as an attack on their identity, but it's kind of not really your place to make those statements if you don't have it.

It affects more than behaviours, it has to do with how your brain processes the world sensory too; how you deal with stimuli.  At least, for me, a large part of it has that aspect to it.  That doesn't really change, it's just how my brain is - I'm sensitive.  

[Nahm]

3 minutes ago, Bernardo Carleial said:

Interesting... seems like you're trying to disassociate as much as possible the "subject" from its "behavior" and see what comes out of this... right now the best I can do is to contemplate about it...??

No disassociation. 

[Raptorsin7]

1 minute ago, Loba said:

They would probably say that it is permanent, but also changing, I doubt they would take it as an attack on their identity, but it's kind of not really your place to make those statements if you don't have it.

Yeah only autistic people are qualified to address or deal with autistic people's issues, that sounds like a great philosophy for productivity and success.

3 minutes ago, Loba said:

It affects more than behaviours, it has to do with how your brain processes the world sensory too; how you deal with stimuli.  At least, for me, a large part of it has that aspect to it.  That doesn't really change, it's just how my brain is - I'm sensitive.

That's the story you tell yourself, but it's not the truth. You don't have to live with any of that stuff, but you accept it and so it is what it is.

[Bernardo Carleial]

32 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Not in disagreement with anything you’ve shared, nor anything in the video. But who are you talking about? Who are they talking about? 

I was trying to say that this mental activity has a hard time accessing the subject world of introspection intuition,  both in an individual and a collective way

(I realized that I've misspelled a lot of words in that comment,  I'm gonna edit a bit later)

[Loba]

Just now, Raptorsin7 said:

Yeah only autistic people are qualified to address or deal with autistic people's issues, that sounds like a great philosophy for productivity and success.

That's the story you tell yourself, but it's not the truth. You don't have to live with any of that stuff, but you accept it and so it is what it is.

Well, that's not true, either - but I don't think you are qualified.
I feel that you didn't listen to what those women were saying about their lived experience because nothing in your post indicates this; so how could you know if you already have an idea in mind about it's curability, what it's like and so-forth?

If you don't have sensory integration issues you won't understand, it has to do with your body, your nervous system - this is genetic, I have been hyper-sensitive to stimuli since I was born.  It makes sense to accept it, and live with it - even Leo has autism, and after all of his work he is still sensitive, too.

It doesn't go away, it actually increases by doing consciousness work because the person then can't check out to avoid it.

I can go through it just fine and manage it well, but it isn't something that can change on a physical level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZZ5FSfFVog  A good video on what it's like.

It isn't just behavioural, it comes about in different ways for different people.  We can learn to have appropriate behaviour, empathy, and all of that - but there is still going to be a different brain wiring going on.

Just like how some yogi's are different.  It isn't a story; you can sit and feel the difference in neurological makeup.  The amount of stimuli other people can handle compared to me is way different.  I can't even concentrate on driving, because there is just so much all at once it's like my senses blend together and become just a blur.  Or crowds, or raves, concerts, things like that.  I can let go of the story, but it isn't going to grow the part of the brain that can process a lot of stimulation.  

Have you ever had that tickling feeling in your stomach that almost hurts from being on a ride, or going down a hill really fast?  Like that - your nervous system would react - or if you took a drug, or coffee, or ... many things can change the state, but autistic people can't change that wiring completely.  We can get very far, but it doesn't go away, we just get really... really... reaaaalllly good at hiding it, crafty.

I don't really sit in a story of autism very much, it doesn't make up my identity.  I don't think about it too often.  But it still is there, and it still affects my life.  Like, certain jobs would be too busy - so I would need a quiet workspace - you can't just fix sensory problems - but you can work on interacting with people better and then people just assume you're normal.

No one knows I have it unless I say something.  I've been able to "pass" as normal most of my life and sometimes that is a detriment - like when talking to doctors or psychiatrists, and I come across as normal, super smart and put together, and my life might be falling apart from the symptoms that I am looking to manage - and I'm just brushed aside time and time again when I speak out on these things and how they are a real, raw, genuine lived experience and there are other women in the world who also have it and deal with these things.

And what about severely autistic people?  They never get better.  They are stuck in their minds, and in sensory overload hell.  Sometimes families have to care for them forever, they never learn to speak or hold a gaze, it's like someone is lost inside themselves.  If you tried to tell someone like that they could get better, you'd be rich because there are millions of people with low functioning autism that don't pass - and I am sure they would love to be cured - to feel comfortable in their bodies - to be able to speak - to look people in the eyes... to live on their own, to have a home and families.

It takes away from the fact that it is a real struggle to manage - and when someone says it's curable, or just a story... it doesn't get to the root of the problem, which is genetics - people are born with it.  Autism runs in my family on my mother's side - my brother has it worse than I do, but is functional and works, he is not low functioning.

[Raptorsin7]

@Loba I don't want to argue or trigger you. But I believe it is possible to reverse every so called negative symptom that you associate with autism. I do not believe it's permanent like you are claiming.

Have you ever looked into anyone who claimed they cured their autism? 

You have no idea what's possible with respect to healing. The genetics argument is a cop out and a convenient scape goat to avoid responsibility. 

[Loba]

@Raptorsin7 I'm not triggered, the subject of autism doesn't really trigger me - I just have a lot to say on it.
I guess that can be hard to see because sometimes I do get triggered but nine times out of ten, I'm like the character "Daria" - just kind of level-headed, just sort of there, with a bit of "meh" commentary on various things.

This explains where there is a segue in communication between people - those who know what is best for themselves and those who can only speculate.

[Raptorsin7]

Just now, Loba said:

This explains where there is a segue in communication between people - those who know what is best for themselves and those who can only speculate.

How do you know that you know what is best for yourself?

[Loba]

@Raptorsin7 Because I can feel into my body - if it feels bad, it isn't good for myself, if it feels good - then it is.
I don't mean like... as far as diet goes or something like that, but sensorily or emotionally I can feel into if it aligns with me.
I've already been making steps to heal, and it's going pretty good - 

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Loba So it feels to say that your autism is purely genetic and theres nothing you can do to transcend the condition?

[Bernardo Carleial]

1 hour ago, Loba said:

Have you ever had that tickling feeling in your stomach that almost hurts from being on a ride, or going down a hill really fast?  Like that - your nervous system would react - or if you took a drug, or coffee, or ... many things can change the state, but autistic people can't change that wiring completely.  We can get very far, but it doesn't go away, we just get really... really... reaaaalllly good at hiding it, crafty.

No one knows I have it unless I say something.  I've been able to "pass" as normal most of my life and sometimes that is a detriment - like when talking to doctors or psychiatrists, and I come across as normal, super smart and put together, and my life might be falling apart from the symptoms that I am looking to manage - and I'm just brushed aside time and time again when I speak out on these things and how they are a real, raw, genuine lived experience and there are other women in the world who also have it and deal with these things.

 

Wow That description  was very insightful ?

Also the video you sent gives an extra dimension on what it feels like to experience the world having autism, even as a viewer watching at a distance... I also didn't that Leo has autism.

58 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Loba I don't want to argue or trigger you. But I believe it is possible to reverse every so called negative symptom that you associate with autism. I do not believe it's permanent like you are claiming.

Be careful with what you're claiming with that message ...

You're trying to  contest her claim at the level of concepts and viewpoints,  she's is trying to present her argument at the level of direct experience.

There are disabilities which are permanent, like physical disabilities (being blind, handicapped,  etc..), but to what degree this is gonna affect their lives, that's up for debate...

I don't know how to experience/perceive the world as a blind person for example, and even if he's capable of interacting with society in a way which is perceived as functional, I would never expect him to reach the same level as me with regard to visual cues...

I know this example may sound silly,  or that it isn't applicable for people with the autism spectrum,  that's  because our society tends to trivialize any disability that isn't grossly perceived by us...

That's why Leo talks so much about Radical Open Mindedness. And that is why I'm gonna send a couple of Leo's videos here to further expand that notion.

 

Edited December 25, 2021 by Bernardo Carleial