Negativity in my social circle

[Yoremo]

Hi, I still live at home and go to school and I don´t have very many friends that I hang out with on my free time. So the people I spend the most time with are my family and my classmates. But both of these groups of people are super negative, it´s like they´re trying to be negative all the time. And I am of course also negative most of the time because of my upbringing, but I am trying to change and not get upset over petty things and such, but the immense and intense negativity I feel from home and from school is very overwhelming. The big thing though is my home and family, which I can´t choose away right now.

So my question is how do I deal with this? I know I won´t be able to change them but how can I stand up for my values and such when everybody is doing the exact opposite, and whenever I express positivity they just try and bring me down. Like what do I do? I have tried to not socialize with my parents and essentially tried to avoid them, but they are on me as fuck because they want me to be with them all the fucking time and drown in their negativity. Because all they talk about is petty, negative things in a hopeless way and my mentality is influenced by this a lot even though I really try and go against it. What the hell do I do? Find a new social circle maybe? or how can I make my positivity so engrained, intense and strong in my mind that they can not touch that?

[Terell Kirby]

Sorry to hear this.

Are you financially dependent on your parents? My recommendation is to change your environment somehow, but that can be hard to do if your parents are providing your food, shelter and clothing.

[Yoremo]

Yes, I am financially dependent on my parents. And yes environment change I also think is key, but that is a tough one to initiate. My brother might be moving close to where I live and then I might be able to move in with him, he´s also quite negative but atleast he wouldn´t demand company as my parents do. the thing is I am trying to find myself and my purpose and find my happiness again but it´s very hard when all I hear is negativity.

[Terell Kirby]

@Yoremo Yea .. I understand and empathize with you, I was in a similar situation. 

Not sure what age you are, but there are some things you can strategically plan for .. there are often many options such as going to college (4 year or community college), planning to seek employment to save some cash to one day move out, etc.

Having a plan, and sticking to that plan will give you some hope during the tough times.

Edited December 24, 2021 by Terell Kirby

[Yoremo]

I´m 17 years old. I don´t know where I would go. I want to be a professional footballer but for that I will need financial support so I don´t know what to do. I guess there is no clear cut way to what I should do, when it´s something great you are after I guess you need to follow some "inner guidance" so to speak.

[Terell Kirby]

Just now, Yoremo said:

I´m 17 years old. 

Good, that means you are that much closer to being considered, legally, an adult at 18 .. then you can make your own decisions.

Like I mentioned earlier, start planning your exit strategy. This isn't the best time for lofty goals and inner work, you have to be super pragmatic and realistic to escape your situation.

Come up with a solid plan on how you'll become independent from your parent's support. It will mainly be saving money to get your own place / move in with a trusted roommate .. or going off to college. Good luck.