Online Dating - Converting matches to meet ups/numbers

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Wyatt Like I said this already is skewed bias partially. You would not really understand it. I tested my pictures and have pictures taken by a professional. I do get matches, the issue is I have an injury that just does not allow me to train my body fully as I am athletic and good looking and 6'3 tall, so I can't even show my strength fully. There is a strong bias towards dating apps that is also a reference to real life that is quite obvious and racist. For you as a white man this might not be as obvious. 

Bascally having big arms and a big chest get's you a lot of matches regardless of skin color as well as status. I've heard and seen this multiple times now. Especially younger women like testosteron males more and older women are more about income and wealth. It's mostly about status even when I actively write women who have higher status an dated them and I dislike orienting myself that way, yet this is how stuff plays out. I can apply the principles as much as I want and see, yet you really would not understand it especially in Europe. I have pictures of me being outside doing sports, as well as one of my favorite hobbies which is reading and one with my bike which actually is expensive. They are not great pictures in my opinion I am very critical, yet I asked friends as I can't test every single photo I'd go broke. I don't have parents that pay my vacation or the luxury to constantly to go on vacation and take pictures. Even though I travelled a lot. It is just expensive and trust me currently I have a very good amount of money that allows me to do what I want.

I can skim profiles again depending on the plattform basically the more status you display and wealth the better you have it in some sense, especially if you display it subtely because it is Oh so smart and elegant. Being dressed in suits, wearing brand clothes, social proof of some sort pictures with friends in a club somwhere, travel pictures are great. All displayed subtely. 

I can travel soon and plan to take pictures, although this process is very frustrating I skim guys profile like I said I land in the top 10-20%, yet not 10% and the top 10% is where you get the real juicy rewards. I received also one number online from a beautiful girl just so, because I was authentic, yet we would not vibe. Also depending on the app you might benefitted from the algorithm as you were travelling especially if you used Bumble. As you constantly show up as a new person in a region.

I really appreciate your kind comment, yet the amount of bias and scam on these sites as well as my current life situation and interests does not make it better. 

The more social status you display the easier you have it. I've been to exotic places and it does not work for me. I'd be better of being black jacked and bald.

Without being jacked and strong body language on pictures I won't land at the top 10% I've seen so many idiotic male profiles even if they have more status etc. Like I said I can't fully train myself now, travel pictures are soon to be taken. So I am in a position where it is a 10x issue and I am even working out just not eating to get buff. Then new corona rules etc. There is way more nuance to this post and to online-dating etc.


In real life I receive compliments of being handsome and good looking ever since I was small I was disgusted by the idea that only my looks matter and I do not have a great sense of style etc. I also receive interest from attractive women yet the pool of women around me has been relatively small because I am in IT. It's very frustrating to be constantly told you are attractive genuient you have a nice body, you have have nice face etc. As well as to be a constant fractal of some sort.

I'd most likely do better approaching women in real life, yet since I currently don't get around being many women etc. 

Sorry, I am just so aggrevated by this process and not being able to implement what works and having shitty accountabillity in a sense. As well as racist, stupid, and unintelligent assumptions. 

Edited December 24, 2021 by ValiantSalvatore

[something_else]

See how much thought, effort and time online dating is taking up for you? Look at that and focus on it and realise that time could be spent doing other things that would get you better results

1 hour ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

I'd most likely do better approaching women in real life, yet since I currently don't get around being many women etc. 

Then change that!!! Online dating is like going to a charity shop and begging for free handouts. It's so difficult to show value to girls on online dating unless you have an exceptional lifestyle or exceptional looks

I'm almost sure now that you're using online dating as a crutch (like I did) because you're too scared to go out and meet girls the old fashioned, effective (but scary) way

And I can tell online dating is making you bitter. Which it also did for me.

[ValiantSalvatore]

@something_else Dude man with my LP I'd be working 8-12h in front of a pc. Programming/Coding/Engineering/Design/Research whatever. Online-dating is one solution and one challenge that I am doing for 90 days.

I want to change that drastically I have to do it all alone thanks to interest I can't pursue my interest of atheletecism due to my injury as intensly as I'd like to. I wanted to try different sports that I now can't. I really hate Germany although I have not been to to many places inside the country. I'd have to be working close to 60h a week to get out of the country and most other countries have a shitty social system, less holidays etc.. I will travel to Scandinavian countries soon... It sucks being injured for a life time. There is not a large pool of women here, there are so many areas to trouble shot I'd basically had to be aware of. If someone would have showed me hey pickup could have been done consciously 3-4 years ago and all of this is normal as I am harshly judged by society for every tiny move I make as a 6 foot black/white guy. Then yes, I would have approached, yet the communities are toxic. Academia is fking toxic. As well as the bias within science is fking disgusting. Let alone beauty standards and peoples preferences. 

I worked a lot of myself to be bias free. Yet, the collective bias does not make this stuff easier. The point is all of my activities are so isolating and time consuming having a committed partner would make my life a lot easier. Then finding someone who can keep up with this hyper vibe of mine is not easy. As most succumb to temptations etc and it takes an effort to life very clean... 

Approaching outside yes, I am commited to doing that next year as I bought the course from cook own/owen cook, I need visual material I can't just see constantly a talking head. 

I don't know it's just friends are make are turning out racist, have racist humour, share racist memes. This country and the experiences I made what I read from famous black people, what I read by sciene and it's mostly young people. Women are not the issue I have to emphasis this it really is white men and in generally men that fuck up a lot of my experiences and sabotage me as well as create bias and racism mostly as well as media plattforms.

I don't have any issues being social, yet to setup a plan to learn and read the ressources as I am not very good without some sort of structure is an issue for me. Especially since flexibility is an issue thanks to my injury it's very mental thing. I approached women now during night game, yet not seeing any wings being on my own. Day game does not currently exists if I change unis I can approach girls on the campus. Which was one way I thought I can meet people. Yet, my uni was very small my upbringing was not bad, yet my family is unable to deal with my needs I've put in so many hours of shadow work and people keep dying around me, being diagonsed with illnesses etc. That completely disrupts my social life. Then having close to 0 conscious friends as academia basically turned them fully unconscious almost. It sucks. I can complain it won't do shit, if I do not start to love my problems and fix them fundamentally then yes. I'll turn bitter. Not automating online-dating is one of them partially.

The respones here make me more bitter as well as not shared experiences. I can basically only approach women during the gym and while I am shopping. Or comments like OMG so try hard. Why waste your time sharing such a stupid opinion. When I make an effort to improve a part of my life? How oh so conscious. 

I know these apps should be secondary, yet I want to do the 90 day challenge and it's a challenge unconstructive comments are way more disruptive than talking about the activity of online-dating itself. 

You are right and still this is a 90 day challenge.

Edited December 24, 2021 by ValiantSalvatore

[Striving for more]

just stop being a pussy and go approach women in real life. 

Are you a super hot male model guy? 

If you are then go on tinder & get 20 matches for your face & perfect body dimensions. 

* Edit : tbh though even if you're super attractive, it's probably better to focus on real life, the lowest quality of women use tinder, and they will mess you about too.

So uninspiring seeing this shit. 

Pick up to me is a process of getting the shit beaten out of me psychologically until I finally breakthrough, and eventually after all the failures, I become fucking casonova

Edit @ValiantSalvatore I didn't even read ur post properly excuse my comment was stupid yeh

There's no point even posting about this subject if your chad tho, just approach no girl will reject you.

Edited December 24, 2021 by Striving for more

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Striving for more You can spare yourself any stage red bullshit. I already approached some.

The same goes for you. A lot of projection and stupidity. You don't get that there are logistical issues.

The point is yes I could be one, yet someone like you would just not understand it as well as with white beauty bias. 

[Nahm]

 

@ValiantSalvatore

”Ways to do it” is the trap. All the information doesn’t add up to anything. Literally, at all. Information can always be presented such that it will. Thoughts can arise that it will, but it is all aversion which by default does not attract. Well, it would to the extent of manifesting, yet not to the point of actually experiencing. To experience, it would seem something is not yet understood. Something not yet learned, something not yet done. That “something” would be conjecture, or, you didn’t come up with it, you heard it. Maybe a lot of it. Got vacuum, not plugging it in yet. Put what you unabashedly want on the dreamboard. Settle when you can not take anymore voltage, not for information. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Nahm Thanks again for a very kind message. My manifestations mostly focus on feeling the having of it. Feeling it not only imagery. I do take action the point is I am doing a 90 day challenge people can't seem to fathom that I am doing this differently, because I simply can. I am going to create the dreamboard, and focus on what I want, experience it and take action as I alreadys was doing without a dreamboard. Feeling the aversion of manifesting it, feeling the resistance of manifesting it. 

It sucks to see so many seemingly healthy uninjured for life time wussies as well as subtle repudiation. I am using information as a way to experience what I want to experience. I know there is aversion in me. I do not find a way to express myself in society that does not shame me in a way. As well as my injury hinders me from sitting in a seated cross-legged position. This is all not fun. As well I am even being very vulnerable sharing this. 

With voltage you mean the feeling and experience of it? I am not just gathering information to set this clear again, I use the information to experience the thing that I want to experience. I'll create the dreamboard and use it and visualize and feel what I want and take action. This will take some time.

I am better off doing the courses as I can put the information to practice, yet sometimes it's good to have a second pair of eyes. As well as feedback. Yes, I am doing this strategically and yes this yields me the best results. If I just let go my entire life derails. I can life sponatenously in a strucutre, yet I'll do better setting myself constraints. Like activity managament / time blocking the same goes for all of this and then I am shamed for it. I love working it's just when I see certain kinds of people I know why I was so negative to beginn with. I flow a lot inside a structure and it feels very healthy to be spontaneous inside that structure as well as to consistently change and experience things. I just dislike it that I am being shamed for enjoying the thing that I love the most online and offline. This dreamboard might be more needed than I think. Thank you for suggesting it I made a note in my journal on how to create one.

I'll have to ask different questions then on a different sub-section. Online-dating is not really the issue. It's currently growing pains, by the kind of feedback I receive I notice no one already again has a clue to what is going on. Besides a handful of people. 

[Nahm]

@ValiantSalvatore

???

Using the information to experience what I want to experience is an exhausting mindset of manipulation, vs receiving what you want. Aversion is to seeing that. Aversion is not ‘in you’, but points to what is. The mental gymnastics involved are exhausting. 

The ‘not fun’ is the conjecture; fun fills all empty cups. 

There is nothing spontaneous about living in a structure. Also conjecture. The structure is not a structure at all, and only appears so. The ‘substance’ is ineffable spontaneity. But alas a you has it’s purpose, and so this is reasonably justified, or, justified via reasoning. Reasoning which is as apparent as the structure. Three cups, no peanut. 

Maybe the ladies already got the paradigm you’re sellin. Maybe they’re looking intuitively or otherwise, for spontaneity, and you are scripting from a strategy. I can only speak of direct experience that the entirety of it smells foul for miles and miles and miles. You on the other hand, have a heart of solid gold imo. That’s quite easy to see as well. 

Objectification’s fine for objects. She is not, and cognitively or otherwise, is well aware she is not. 

Repudiation is for shame. Imo of course. When I fight, it is I. When I manipulate, it is I. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Nahm Thank you for the comment again also sharing back the love ❤.

I watched parts of your video about creating a reality with emotions very late yesterday and now this. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3VW5l1_8tA

Yes, creating a structure and consistently following it is a very rational activity and I feel more functional doing it as I am not bound by it. The structure is not real it's part of my imagination in that sense and merely serves a purpose. Although paradoxically it allows for more joy. more flow as rationality is already emotionally a very high state from Dr.David Hawkins emotional / vibrational scale. Also breaking the structure and doing what is fun is even more fun then. I know it sounds childish, yet I experience more joy planning and executing a plan. Then to just be for me planning is being in a sense.  I am consistently on time, I get a lot more flow states. I feel more purpose etc. When I am not planning and creating a structure nothing get's done even in my meditations. Letting go of the structure helps and for me this is not conjecture, it is my direct experience. I am not a person that can just live and let things happen and I get what I want. For me directing attention towards what I want and then receiving it by allowing it works very well. I am already a very spontaneous being, it sucks a bit that many wish for it on demand and seem to become rigid then. Or even expecting it for me it is a just happening isness quality to it, especially as a meditator. You feel spontaneous and automatically act spotaneous. Yes, fun fills all empty cups. Thank you again for mentoning that that feels very filling to read and type this.

I know she is not an object online-dating definitely makes all people an object of desire, yet I certainly do not own her like a car etc. I watched some Teal Swan videos on this on positive containment. I'd prefer meditating on a date, yet I don't think that would work currently even if I dated one yoga girl ?.

I see how the information of wanting the experience of what I want can be exhausting because it is not already there, it is not fully received as well as aversion is pointing to what is also. I avert positive and negative experiences I can tell from direct experience when I feel what I feel I mostly feel intense subtle joy and it's very contagious. Especially during meditations I keep crying being thankful for just having a tiny moment of sheer bliss etc. 

Thank you for the compliment also! I've never for heard heart of gold and I feel yours is even bigger! Namaste!

[Nahm]

@ValiantSalvatore

Thanks, and glad to hear what you’re doing is working for you. ?? God bless. 

[Chimmy]

Real story what happened recently. I was dating one girl from tinder for a while. The night when we were having sex, I saw one tinder message notificication from another guy. So you can imagine, that it is possible when you text here, he is having sex with someone else right now.