Psychotic sister? How can I help?

[Gesundheit2]

Does anyone have an experience with a psychotic loved one? Can you offer me some tips? Should I take her to a psychiatrist or just comfort and contain her? She's paranoid and hallucinating, and talking in a nonsensical way. What to do?

[Loba]

Oh no Ges, I am so sorry to hear that!!  She needs to go to a hospital if there are any in your country to stay and get on psychiatric medication, if not, to be contained until she can see a psychiatrist and or doctor.  The medication does help, I was having issues w/ my bipolar until I went on it and then everything got better over time.  She should certainly see someone, just in case.

Let us know how it goes.

[Gianna]

@Gesundheit2 She is in a parallel reality. That is excruciatingly painful because it means she is alone in that parallel reality. So you can help her by making her feel less alone. Make her feel like you guys are in a shared reality. Whether that is you joining her reality or you reminding her of the things you guys share. Put her focus on these things, hold her hand, direct her attention. The more focus she puts on your guys' shared reality the less focus she'll put on her parallel reality (what you focus on expands; what you do not focus on dissipates). But this requires around-the-clock care. So you may have to coordinate with other family members, relatives, friends. The more accompanied she feels (not alone) the less paranoid she will be. But of course, this is not going to happen overnight so you're going to have to have a massive amount of patience. 

Do not invalidate her reality, it will only fortify it. Invalidating her reality in any way is about the worst thing you can do. Because it doesn't suggest you guys are in a shared reality which is what she really needs. Help her direct her focus without force, judgment, or deceit. Do not gaslight her (obviously, haha). Obviously, you can't control her hallucinations. But ask her about them with curiosity, make her feel like she is safe (maybe even safe enough to explore them herself), what are these hallucinations telling her? Hold her. Join her.  Make her feel like it is okay. This is what she desperately needs from you. 

Do not: 
- Gaslight her (by acting like you see something you do not see). 
- Invalidate her (by telling her that what she sees isn't real). 
- Take her into a mental institution. 

Do: 
Say things like, 
"It is okay to hallucinate."
"It is okay to be paranoid."
"I understand why you would be scared but you don't have to be." 
"I'm here with you."
"You are not alone." 

[Loba]

@Gianna That is really good advice, thank you for sharing.
I don't know if this info helps, but they come from a war torn country where the people were severely abused, and so I question if perhaps some of the trauma from that contributed to her state. 

What advice could be offered for a whole family who has seen/been through so much?

It's more than just mental illness to work through imo, there is probably a lot of trauma as well.

It seems as though you have a lot of info to offer - Ges, I would message her if you get the chance and ask; this is really good advice.   ^  Also, lemmi know if you still want to talk - I am giving you space until I further know what is happening as sometimes I don't always know what to say.  You and your sister, and what has happened has been on my mind and I am hoping for the best and rooting for you.  Let me know what kind of support you need right now and the best way that I can be helpful.

If you need, let us support you in this time.

[Gianna]

@Loba Yes, it is trauma-related. When someone is put into a parallel reality it is because something happened that made them believe they weren't in a shared one. Abuse can do this. As far as group trauma therapy, I don't have must knowledge around that but I am guessing that although the trauma might have been the same, each person's response to the trauma is individual and therefore would need individual treatment. But again, I don't know how family trauma therapy works. 

As far as my own advice, I would say the family needs 100% authenticity. That means, when you are sad you say you are sad. When you are scared you say you are scared, and you get your needs met. Everyone can meet each other's needs. Everyone can bring their feelings out, their needs out, their fears out. And help each other through it. No internalizing. If you are feeling lonely, get held. If you are feeling needy, ask for whatever you need. No acting, no pretending, no "trying to be strong". Healing is a vulnerable process and therefore requires vulnerability. So there needs to be a safe space to be held by everyone.

Compassion, closeness/togetherness, openness, allowing, and unity are what should be shared. Trauma leaves people dissociated. So I would do grounding activities (meditation, yoga, breathwork, emotional vipassana, somatic experiencing, etc.). I would calm the nervous system, counter hypervigilance. Your body went through the trauma so what does your body need? Comfort it, love it, talk to it, hold it, get someone else to hold it. Your mind went through the trauma so allow it to experience the flashbacks, allow it to drift off into space, zone out, etc. The body and mind know how to heal themselves; they just need to be allowed to do so. That means no judgment, no shoulds and shouldn'ts. Nothing but openness, allowing, compassion, love, and support. Just my opinion! I'm so sorry you are dealing with such a struggle.  

[Gesundheit2]

@Gianna Thanks. That's exactly what we've been doing over the past few days. We took the whole week off to stay with her. All five of the family members have been extremely supportive and understanding. My role mainly was to direct them in how to treat and talk to her. The doctor said none of that matters, but I think he's wrong and closed-minded. He's putting all his bets on the medications and assuming that she's chronically ill and without a cure. We are proving him wrong. She almost recovered within less than three days of meds, and we'll probably start decreasing the doses very soon. I taught the family members some CBT and they're doing their best. My mom was her closest friend and they both have soft spots for each other, so I gave my mom special instructions for dealing with her. The truth is that the episode was triggered by my mom abandoning her for a reason that I don't feel comfortable sharing. I've been investigating with the family the possible causes and solutions the whole time. I think the situation is easily reversible. She was basically mainly deprived of sleep and stressed by several things that have been going on for some time in her life, like overworking and worrying about what other people think and drinking lots of caffeine, and other things. We are trying to uproot all that as much as possible and as quick as possible, and I think we've been very effective at this as a team for the time being, so we will continue down that path. We'll also try to eliminate the stressors out of her life so that they don't trigger her anymore.

@Loba Thank you for your concern. I'm sorry I didn't contact you as I said I would. We are devoting most of our time for her at the moment, and I don't feel very comfortable sharing things about my sister; and that's because I worry she might not want that, so I'm saving that option until it's absolutely necessary. But anyway, she's a lot better now, but I was wondering if it's okay to stop the meds. I am very doubtful of the mainstream medical view on psychosis, because in a sense she awakened, so her mind got upgraded, opposite to what most psychiatrists suggest. She said she died and came back to life because she loves us. She mentioned astral projection, now believes in karma and God, and thinks she's become a channel/translator of some sorts. I don't want to deny her these possibilities, so I am trying my best to explain to my parents especially that all of this is okay. I think she will calibrate soon and then she will be able to filter out these esoteric experiences from daily conversations. She's already improved a lot and explained a lot to us in a more understandable way. It's interesting how all of this is working. On the more brighter side, I've never been this close to her. I almost avoided eye contact and real emotional connection with her for most of my life. The past few days, I held her close to me for hours, reminisced about the past with her, sang with her, comforted her, etc. She even kissed me and asked me to kiss her between her eyes, which we've never done before. I think everything is improving all at the same time.

[Loba]

@Gesundheit2 Yeah dude, of course, only share what you feel most comfortable with.  Absolutely.  I totally get it, I think that is great of you to be protecting and caring for your sister the way that you are doing.  This is really interesting news - and if this is true, then it does make me question the medication as well.  But I am no doctor nor professional by any means.  If she goes off of them, and the symptoms come back full force, you could try them again, but if she is showing signs of spiritual awakening then they might not be needed, as they are meant to stabilize brain chemicals that are out of balance - not spiritual awakenings.  And they can look very similar, a lot of people in the hospital that I stayed in had symptoms of spiritual awakenings that had gotten "stuck" somewhere and ended up causing problems.

There isn't enough information out there to determine a psychotic episode from a spiritual emergency.  It can look exactly the same, and all you can do is follow your intuition on it and listen to what the person is telling you, and you are and that's great.  I am glad that you are listening to your sister's experience and not just writing it off as pure delusion - this can happen in some families and then the person thinks they are sick and never recover.

I happen to be both, mental illness and a spiritual channel, so if you need advice for either, let me know and I'll do my best.  I can even just share my own experience if that helps as sometimes I don't have the best advice - but I can tell you kind of how it went for me, what the experiences were like and so forth; what I've learned.

You're a good brother.  You should feel proud of yourself for how you care for your family.

[Gianna]

14 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

Thanks. That's exactly what we've been doing over the past few days. We took the whole week off to stay with her. All five of the family members have been extremely supportive and understanding. My role mainly was to direct them in how to treat and talk to her. The doctor said none of that matters, but I think he's wrong and closed-minded. He's putting all his bets on the medications and assuming that she's chronically ill and without a cure. We are proving him wrong. She almost recovered within less than three days of meds, and we'll probably start decreasing the doses very soon. I taught the family members some CBT and they're doing their best. My mom was her closest friend and they both have soft spots for each other, so I gave my mom special instructions for dealing with her. The truth is that the episode was triggered by my mom abandoning her for a reason that I don't feel comfortable sharing. I've been investigating with the family the possible causes and solutions the whole time. I think the situation is easily reversible. She was basically mainly deprived of sleep and stressed by several things that have been going on for some time in her life, like overworking and worrying about what other people think and drinking lots of caffeine, and other things. We are trying to uproot all that as much as possible and as quick as possible, and I think we've been very effective at this as a team for the time being, so we will continue down that path. We'll also try to eliminate the stressors out of her life so that they don't trigger her anymore.

Wow, it sounds like your family is handling it very intelligently. I'm happy to hear you are proving the doctor wrong. Clearly, the healthcare industry is biased toward medication as they obviously profit from it. I'm sure most doctors are compassionate but if this one seemed rigid and closed-minded I am so happy you guys are following your intuition! That's remarkably smart. I agree that this is reversible; although it is an extreme one, I believe parallel realities are a coping/adaptive strategy from trauma. So whatever can make her feel safe enough to let go (consciously) of that strategy would be a good idea. Emotional intimacy might be the ticket! But it sounds like you guys are handling it, healing responsibly, healthily, authentically, and proactively! It's beautiful the way your family is going about it and how you are all there for each other– I don't think I would be able to say to same about my family! 

[Nahm]

@Gesundheit2

Source is a master of getting you to express and open up, isn’t it so? 

I wouldn’t ‘play doctor’ with the meds, and in her shoes lots of therapy would be ideal. Blood does blind. The odds of her opening up and emptying discord with a stranger (therapist) are higher. No implication of any shortcoming on anyone’s part. I’d also do my best in your shoes to put down the wrong vs right lens. Allow all resources, not right resources. The more she experiences directly the better. 

[Gesundheit2]

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Gesundheit2

Source is a master of getting you to express and open up, isn’t it so?

Source is a bitch.

Appreciate the advice. Will take it into consideration.

[Nahm]

@Gesundheit2

? 

[Raze]

Take her to a psychiatrist 

try the ultramind solution