How to deal with lack of pleasure getting sober

[Iesu]

Also known as anhodenia, I am 20m and have been using drugs chronically since high school. Including nicotine, Molly, acid, shrooms, coke, weed, alcohol, xanax, Adderall, and dmt. The biggest struggle getting sober has been the complete lack of stimulation and pleasure sober. I used to until recently be sober for a few days to a week max. With my best streak being roughly 19 days, but since that I have been using drugs or smoking almost everyday for the past 4 years. I appreciate any help or resources that may help. Not to mention dealing with solipsism/ dark night. I am doing my best efforts to seek profesional help but this feels like an extreme uphill battle and am right now feel like a total slave to nicotine because it is what I can get. 

The symptoms I am feeling are. 

EXTREME fatigue, total lack of motivation, little to almost no bodily pleasure, poor cognition, brain fog and just feeling bleeeehhh

[Ima Freeman]

I feel like you at the moment.

My backround is doing heavy metal chelation for more than a year and a parasite cleanse recently. Toxins, like drugs, can obliterate your neurochemistry resulting in severe depression, anxiety, ADHD etc.

My life right now consists of sitting in my flat thinking about stuff to do, but nothing interests me. I have to force myself to go outside, so I'm not indoors all day sitting in front of my pc. It is really hard living like this. I have to constantly fight urges to buy alcohol, start binging video games etc.


Taking the drugs you mentioned while being in your teens can hinder brain development, especially MDMA, cocaine, speed and benzos.
How often did you take them?

I would at first stop all the drugs mentioned in the sentence above. They fuck your brain up big time.
If you really want to get your mind healthy again, forget them for now. If you can control the "safer" drugs you could use them as a crutch for a limited time. But that could backfire if you cannot control them.


You could try taking the precursers of neurotransmitters  to build them up again. That can make you feel better quite fast.

5-HTP and tryptophan for serotonin (contentment)

dl-phenylalanin or tyrosin for dopamin (drive and motivation)

GABA for GABA (relaxation)

Phosphatidylcholine or others for acetylcholine (concentration)

Of course there are many other supplements that could help you, like omega 3 oils, B vitamins, vitamin D, lithium,...

Healthy nutrition is really important too if you want to feel better.

Having someone to regularly tell how you are feeling is very helpful, more so than chatting here. Do you have someone, a friend or family member you can open yourself up to?

It is very important to find the underlying reasons why you take the drugs you take. What do they give you, that you otherwise lack? 
You can work on this things you lack, building them up.


I hope this helps you 

[Nahm]

When we sit & relax instead of using or doing something to feel better… there isn’t “something from our past faced”, there is misinterpretation expelled. Then clearer more aligned interpretation - understanding - arises. And that is the natural pleasurable feeling which is actually desired. 

Framing of unwanted, such as “I don’t want to do or want to quit x, y or z” doesn’t work. Discord is felt because focus is on unwanted. 

Framing of wanted, such as “to naturally feel fine & happy”, does work. Alignment is felt because focus is on wanted. 

Wanted = what feels good to you. 

One can focus on what does not feel good and attempt to force, manipulate, or ‘push through’, but it doesn’t actually work long term. It is what keeps one reaching for the substance short term. 

Connect the dots as to why witnessing hypocrisy is intensely discordant to you. And focus on what you do want, rather than on others. See that the substances are utilized for one to hang on to discordant, but identified with, misinterpretations. Sitting & relaxing, the body naturally & effortlessly lets misinterpretations go. The true liberation sought will never come from or be the result of substances, my Good, Good man. ?

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” Jesus

[tsuki]

Take my advice here with a grain of salt because I've never been a heavy user.

I would expect that from all the substance use, your nervous system may be desensitized and it may take time for it to re-adjust.

Have you tried going into rehab? They will make you stick through it.

[Loba]

Work out, this will give you a natural high.  Work out for an hour a day, and this will help your brain/body recover.
I'm serious, if you wanna get better then getting on an exercise regimen is your best bet.
Also, eat a lot of healthy fats for a few months; your brain is made of fat.  Look up which healthy fats you want to eat and add them to your diet.
And antioxidants - berries - daily.

[Preety_India]

Get good sleep. Find ways to get rid of nicotine. 

[John Paul]

Try just drinking water, no other drinks.....and drink a lot of water. Get some exercise that you enjoy, move around, shake your limbs, do deep breathing and yoga. Eat vegetables and fruit every day. Find out about your allergies, get labs etc. do some work. Exercise will help you sleep better too. Exercise, diet, sleep, yoga, and then try journaling and/or therapy and stuff....reevaluate your friends but try to watch your own bias/projections...reevaluate your career/job, where you live etc.... if your sex drive has been effected by drugs maybe try mindfully (or not, if you can't at first) jacking off instead of doing drugs (idk). And try to find more ways of expressing yourself whatever that means to you... decoration, design, style, creating paintings, pllaying instrument, organizing gettogethers or parties, blah blah blah... be more intentional basically. Creative = spiritual = INTENTIONAL... gotta want to be truly happy. You can do it. And maybe buy one of Leo's products: LP course/book list or try to seriously integrate one of his videos, like make a goal out of it.  Good luck, i'm right here with you in my misery but at least start to know you are strong and "have a great vision for your personal life".

[Ima Freeman]

Just want to add that you might need to detox.
But please do a LOT of research about it before you try it out.

 

[Ulax]

@Iesu Hiya. I don't have an answer that I'm confident enough in to recommend. However, I wanted to say I'm in a similar position in some ways, and that I wish you the best.

[Ulax]

3 hours ago, Iesu said:

@Tim Ho @Ima Freeman @John Paul @Preety_India @Loba @Nahm  It's fucking solipsistic fucking horseshit. It feels like I have lost my fucking sanity. I hope @Leo Gura fucking dies you enlightened piece of fucking dog shit. Ill kill you with my bare fucking hands Ill make sure you drown in your own blood you sadastic little fuck. I fucking hate you with all my fucking being. I want to fucking genuinely kill myself. Ive fucking suffered for over 15 years and I don't fucking complain. I molested this girl, I have abused and hit multiple children I have beaten small animals. Not to mention the years of pyhsical abuse and bullshit.l IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE psychosis in this nihilistic solipsistic  FUCKING NIGHTMARE

LAst time I said I wanna kill myself fuckface gura said this is ego bullshit and truth doesn't make you feel shity.

OH FUCKING YEAH?! Says the motherfucker who said he had a traumatic experience he imagined his mom

Yeah ouh how was it when you wanted to reach out to your fucking mommy but she wasnt real @Leo Gura

You were hoping that was some ego bullshit that day 

 

Regarding your expressing these comments here, I find them abusive, and wrong to post.

That said, having these attitudes, thoughts, and belief I completely respect. I have had a lot of thoughts, and emotional states like this. I have had various incidents of psychosis, and been abusive to people before too.

I don't think that this forum will generally be the best place for you right now. It sounds to me like the events in your life have left you very ungrounded, and understandably so. And, with the enlightenment talk here being so pervasive I think this forum can be very ungrounding itself, and may compound your issues.

I've changed my mind regarding recommendations. I'd like to make a few recommendations.

There's a subreddit called r/CPTSDFightMode. You might find some solace there.

I'd look into IFS therapy. Its very validating.

I'd look into loving-kindness meditation. I understand that this might be triggering at first, but I believe it would help.

I wish you well.

[Loba]

@Iesu *hugs you close*  I'm sorry you're going through a hard time, I know how that feels...

[Iesu]

14 hours ago, Ulax said:

Regarding your expressing these comments here, I find them abusive, and wrong to post.

That said, having these attitudes, thoughts, and belief I completely respect. I have had a lot of thoughts, and emotional states like this. I have had various incidents of psychosis, and been abusive to people before too.

I don't think that this forum will generally be the best place for you right now. It sounds to me like the events in your life have left you very ungrounded, and understandably so. And, with the enlightenment talk here being so pervasive I think this forum can be very ungrounding itself, and may compound your issues.

I've changed my mind regarding recommendations. I'd like to make a few recommendations.

There's a subreddit called r/CPTSDFightMode. You might find some solace there.

I'd look into IFS therapy. Its very validating.

I'd look into loving-kindness meditation. I understand that this might be triggering at first, but I believe it would help.

I wish you well.

I deleted it and I should have NOT said that. I got sick and felt like shit. Like nothing feels real anymore. Like its just you as this bubble talking to yourself. Feeling derealized and dissociated. It feels like there is no way in fuck other people are real  

Edited January 26, 2022 by Iesu

[Roy]

I am sorry you're in pain. Look, I don't what your experiences are but I would try and take a step back from spirituality/philosophy or at least try to feel neutral about it while you focus on other things like your basic health. Personally I think solipsism is bullshit, and if it's not doing anything good for you and actually damaging then maybe you should drop it. If you cumulated the ideas that it's accurate, you can unaccumulate those ideas as well. Or find a different perspective just for now.

I also highly admire you for looking to get sober from all those substances. I believe you can do it, just do one day at a time, all you have is one day at a time anyways. Maybe a game that would be helpful for you is to write down a list of all the different drugs you ever took like you did here, and then write an alternative "stimulant" to give you pleasure that is a physical activity or hobby.

Smoking = Going Walking down the street

Alcohol = Listening to your favorite music

It can be anything. The point is replacing your habits is equally as important as quitting them.

[Gianna]

6 hours ago, Iesu said:

It feels like there is no way in fuck other people are real  

You are stuck in a parallel reality. It is the most painful state to be in. I know it doesn't seem or feel like it, but when you suffer the collective suffers. The best thing to do to get out of the parallel reality is to use other people and join their realities. Over time your parallel reality will open enough so other people can join you in yours. Then you will see that other people are real. 

Edited January 27, 2022 by Gianna

[Iesu]

@Roy @Gianna im 99% sure other people are real if you imagine them to be. Truth is unfalsifiable  

[hamedsf]

well, that's a very hard place to be in but remember you're not going to have a good time going completely cold turkey and in fact without those garbages. 

depression feelings will kick in for sure but you gotta know that depression comes from a backlash of your ego system trying to take you back to the previous dysfunctional pattern. you might even feel depressed for a month or two but remember that's the path that you need to go down to have a functional life.

[OBEler]

@Ima Freeman very interesting! ! Can you tell how much helped detoxification with heavy Metal and how much helped parasite cleansing? 

I want to start these too. What were the result, How Did these improved your mental health ? 

[Ima Freeman]

@OBEler Toxic people often times have parasite overgrowth. The immune system gets suppressed and the gut damaged by toxins.

I would recommend everybody to parasite cleanse with mimosa pudica seed, goldenseal, garlic, vermouth, clove,... before doing any detox.
This will help to heal the gut and will relieve a big burden from the liver/kidneys.
These remedies help with general dysbiosis too, btw. 
While cleansing I got extremely irritated. One should be prepared for this.  

Concerning the heavy metals, I can tell from my own experience that it was the main reason for almost all my health issues, especially depression, anxiety and ADHD.
Right now I'm still in the dump phase, which is a phase of intense detox which your body does on it's own. This will propably happen to everyone who had amalgams, because, from them, the body stores alot of mercury in the brain (mostly fat) to defend itself from the toxicity. 

*detox geek off*

Edited February 16, 2022 by Ima Freeman

[itachi uchiha]

Kriya yoga give psychidelic like states for hours.a 15 min kriya practice give me psychidelic like states for hours

[Cathal]

@hamedsf

Quote

but you gotta know that depression comes from a backlash of your ego system trying to take you back to the previous dysfunctional pattern. you might even feel depressed for a month or two but remember that's the path that you need to go down to have a functional life.

that's just the truth.

man i have been exactly in your spot, absolutely fucking dead inside to the point i wondered if i was alive, just barely living off a drip of nicotine, weed, trash food and so on, alls i can say is... this is just a core part of your journey and you have to go through this to be in a spot in life where you can begin to fulfill yourself with truly enriching things

friends, relationships, adventure, purpose, giving etc because that's the real challenge

the grasp of things won't feel so high on the pedestal, pleasure won't be eating at you all the time.

good luck m8 you are definitely not alone and feel free to pm me if you feel very stuck