Working on my triggers

[Preety_India]

.. 

Why do I feel offended and how can I work on it? 

 

[Preety_India]

I think I can slowly warm up to this community at least especially with people who care about me but it might take some time 

I like helping people. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

What are my triggers? 

• Mean comments 

 

 

• Right wing stuff 

 

 

• Lack of understanding and consideration 

 

 

• Lack of respect. This is obvious

 

 

• Anyone who mimics my mother 

 

 

• Anyone who cannot show compassion 

 

• Anyone who assumes too much about my situation. Anyone who says something that isn't true and is absolutely opposite of what's happening with me or my life. It feels like slander. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I generally have an easy time with people who are gentle, polite and simple. 

 

[Preety_India]

One problem that I usually face with people is that sometimes I'm not able to differentiate between authentic and inauthentic people. 

This is a huge struggle for me in fact this is my biggest struggle. 

 

[Preety_India]

But I'm slowly coming to a point where I need to be authentic to myself in order to attract authentic people to me

 

I'm generally quite authentic. But maybe at least 10% about me is not authentic and it is this 10% that is attracting the wrong type of people to me. 

What can I do about this? 

I need to cut the shit. 

 

I'll have to pick a few tricks up my sleeve in order to surround myself with authentic people. 

One thing that I brutally brutally wish to be honest about. I know this type of honesty hurts. But it's best to say it rather than bottle it up. 

I have found that women aren't sincere at least in my personal experience 

 

Any time i meet a woman, my general experience goes like this —

They are nice to me. They are polite to me. They are gentle with me. They compliment me. They praise me

 

 

And after some time like a few days or months.... 

 

 

They backstab me. 

 

I'm not saying that all women are this way. But most of my experiences with women ended up in me feeling intensely uncomfortable, manipulated, played with, ditched, being blamed for nothing and finally hurt and disappointed. 

It's almost like women work in very sneaky ways. Very few women are authentic with other women.. 

All my life most of my problems were because of women. I was repeatedly betrayed by women. I'm simply being frank about it. I did not like how women would initially praise me and then sneakily find a way to judge me and one - up me.. 

So my trust with women has significantly declined after all these experiences. 

If I want authentic people around me, I have to cut out everything that doesn't sound authentic to me. 

This is less of a hunting process and more of an elimination process. 

----------------------------------

As a result of these experiences, I've decided that I won't have women as friends anymore. I get nothing but gaslighting. No thanks. 

I'm better off being friends with men. At least men don't play sneaky games and far more authentic than women. 

This is something that men will never understand. You need the brain of a woman to know how women measure up one another. Men simply won't get it.

Women play sneaky games, not with other men, but usually with other women. 

I can never get along with women and I had enough of women in my life. I literally grew up around women all my life. 

And I can openly say that a woman did the greatest harm to my life. 

I know this sounds very anti-woman.. 

But who can deny an experience? 

An experience is a better teacher than any book or theory. 

 

 

If I ever have women as friends it will mostly be women who are truly authentic and straight forward with me. No ugly games. And no one-upmanship or rather should I say one-upwomanship. 

 

If I have to screen women, the first kind of women that I'll screen out are women who praise or compliment me. Whether it's little compliments or long stories of praises. 

To be frank, the women who hurt me the most are also the same women who complimented me the most. 

I read somewhere a few days ago. 

The ones who betray you the worst are also the ones who are closest to you. 

Women act somewhat in that manner with me 

They gain my confidence and trust by praising me. 

And then attack me later after I have left my guard down. 

It feels gross, dirty, filthy and bizarre. 

The last thing I need is games.... I hate that kind of shit. 

 

Edited December 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Even if I want a person as a friend they should be fully authentic and open with me. 

I look at people straight in the eye. 

What I mean by this is that if I'm your friend I want it straight and simple. 

Every word that comes out of my mouth is just plain and simple and exactly what I mean. 

I never hide my intent. 

 

This is who I am. This is what you get. Nothing more nothing less 

I am who I am. That is all I can be. 

And I wear my heart on my sleeve. 

One of my greatest qualities on the big 5 Ocean test was Openness. 

I'm very open about matters. I don't like to hide. 

So i don't hide my intent or feelings. 

If I like you I'll let you know.

If I don't like you, you'll come to know. 

There is nothing narcissistic about this. 

This is just me plain and simple. 

I just don't know how to pretend to be someone I'm not. 

 

[Preety_India]

I think generally what people like about me and what I have generally observed in myself with respect to others in the same context is that I don't have any agenda when I say something. 

I don't wear any masks when I talk to people. 

 

It's like this.

I say everything from the bottom of my heart. Not necessarily Blunt because I tend to avoid blunt language as much as possible yet I am not diplomatic at all. 

I simply have zero agenda. 

I believe in the trueness of spirit 

Which means I simply say what my heart thinks. 

 

Whether it is true or not in relation to reality, I'm not aware of that, nor does it really matter. 

I simply speak with the trueness of spirit. 

I might not be a good person or even even desirable in any way, neither do I strive to be. 

I just want to be my true self the way I am so I am. 

 

 

What I mean to say is that whatever word that comes out of my mouth is a sincere word. Meaning that's what I meant, wholly and fully, nothing less nothing more. 

This does not mean that I'm honest. Nope. Sometimes I'm not honest. 

 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I'm sincere but not honest. 

I can be a bit of a psychopath. 

I can state a bold faced lie with apparently no problem at all

When the means justify the end I see no problems. 

Because the end is more important to me than the means. 

Yet I don't let my psychopathy run riot. 

I know my own shady character. I keep it in check so as to cause minimal harm to anyone.. 

 

We all have the capability and the capacity for evil. It's how we deal with it that makes all the difference 

To say that you simply can't do evil is absolute hypocrisy, something that narcissists do. They pretend to be perfect. 

 

[Preety_India]

Negotiating on the values of honesty and Dishonesty.

 

[Preety_India]

Why a narcissist is the worst? 

There is a difference between a psychopath and a narcissist. 

A narcissist thinks that they don't harm society that they only mean good. 

 

A psychopath is always hated by people because people look at them with suspicion. 

Yet from my personal experience, psychopaths are only dangerous when they really hurt others or implement their psychopathy in extreme ways. 

W

Edited December 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I have lied many times just to survive. 

That's why I can relate with psychopaths. They do things to survive. It makes total sense 

If someone lied to feed their children, I wouldn't judge them or blame them. They had no better option. 

I avoid lying unnecessarily. 

I only lie if It's going to help my survival like basic survival. 

For example if I'm hungry and if my roommate wants to eat, I might lie and say I don't have stuff because I need to eat stuff myself. 

I cannot compromise on basic survival. 

I don't care about morality or moral values if my basic humanity is in threat. 

I simply cannot understand why someone would consider moral values as important when their life is in danger 

You'll do whatever to save your ass. 

 

[Raphael]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

If I want authentic people around me, I have to cut out everything that doesn't sound authentic to me. 

Do you think that I am authentic?

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, Raphael said:

Do you think that I am authentic?

Yes. I find you authentic. 

 

[Preety_India]

How to spot an authentic person (from personal experience)? 

> authentic people don't act trollish. In a way trollish behavior is a pretty good indicator of to who to avoid. It immediately separates the wheat from the chaff. It's a process of auto elimination. But this is just a cursory or surface level way of determining the real from the inauthentic. This in no way means that people who aren't trollish are all authentic people. This is just the entry level of Elimination. Elimination will happen at several levels till you're left with a small niche group of people. 

>often when people appear serious it can be a huge facade. It's only to appear so with no intention to back it up. These are people who are intensely delusional. They are highly narcissistic. They appear serious and yes they are serious. Until you experience the bomb. The bomb means you see something completely different from what they project. You feel disillusioned. You feel betrayed massively. You feel awful. You feel used. Everything they do is a facade. It's a pretense. Their actions aren't consistent with their words. They drain you .. They have a cultish attitude. They gather friends like cult devotees. They demand an acute loyalty from you. They want you to keep secrets. Run for the hills. These are the people who will change at the drop of a hat. They are creepy. Once a cheater always a cheater. Once they have turned their back on you or refused to give you respect, that's absolutely no point in pursuing it further with them. Just leave. They are not what they appear to be. They are simply using you for something and being polite. They can easily turn cold once they think they don't need you anymore. 

How do you detect such people? 

One way of detecting such people is that they are super friendly. This is a red flag and a give away. If they are acting super friendly and almost trying to get along with you, there is something to watch out for. 

This is not a real person. It takes a lot of work to know this person. They have zero emotional investment. They could care less how you feel. They aren't keen on resolving conflicts. 

They boast a lot about helping people. They also boast a lot about self growth. They almost appear perfect to no fault. 

 

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Edited December 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[lmfao]

5 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Why do I feel offended 

In your case; because you invent trauma space, continue to obsess over it 

5 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I generally have an easy time with people who are gentle, polite and simple. 

 

4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Even if I want a person as a friend they should be fully authentic and open with me. 

Consider the contradiction between wanting authenticity, yet clearly being bothered by it when you find it, 

[Preety_India]

48 minutes ago, lmfao said:

In your case; because you invent trauma space, continue to obsess over it 

 

Consider the contradiction between wanting authenticity, yet clearly being bothered by it when you find it, 

Sorry but I don't want your comments. You always say something that never resonates with me. I don't see any compassion or true understanding in your words. 

Authenticity never means lack of compassion. Sorry but you got it screwed.. 

Talking to you is like talking to an old uncle who simply doesn't get it. 

 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

How do you detect such people? 

 

One way of detecting such people is that they are super friendly. This is a red flag and a give away. If they are acting super friendly and almost trying to get along with you, there is something to watch out for. 

 

This is not a real person. It takes a lot of work to know this person. They have zero emotional investment. They could care less how you feel. They aren't keen on resolving conflicts. 

 

They boast a lot about helping people. They also boast a lot about self growth. They almost appear perfect to no fault. 

--------

These are not the only ways to detect. 

There are subtle red flags that you don't want to miss. 

Like? 

This is going to be quite hard. They are a hit or miss. 

This is one of the hardest things to do because it's so subtle you could easily miss the flags. 

 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

This is a very high IQ behavior 

Such people generally have a high IQ and that's why it's so hard to filter them. 

What are the hints? 

It's so hard that I'm literally scratching my brain over this. 

Hints. 

Yes yes yes got it now. 

They act so super close but don't have close conversations. They pull away when you really want to be close. 

I observed this with at least 5 people who are like this. 

They fear intimacy. That's the  biggest red flag. 

They have high IQ. 

Second hint 

They don't publicly acknowledge your relationship or friendship with them. 

Because.... They are scared. They fear their reputation. 

They don't want to be exposed or outed in some manner. 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

It's quite hard actually. Even with my insights and psychic intelligence I'm not able to crack this. It flies under my radar and escapes.

 

 

My difficulties are 

• I'm an empath 
• I have low IQ
• I'm gullible 
• I have psychic intuition that compensates my low IQ

Oki... I'm putting this in order 

 

My insights about inauthentic people 

You should be able to detect and remove inauthentic people before you can move on to the authentic ones. 

 

• These people are highly manipulative 
• They have an agenda behind being friends with you. They aren't friends with you simply for wanting your company or to create a bond with you. Because else, they would have tried to solidify that bond. But they don't. Rather they move away when you are trying to solidify that bond. They are afraid of intimacy. They are not fully open with you because they don't you to know all the secrets. They withhold information from you. 
• They are not transparent with what they tell you. They hide a lot. Like Joseph. He used to hide the reason of his divorce. 
• Joseph also had an extremely high IQ
• They have absolutely zero integrity, they have zero sincerity of intent, zero sincerity of word. They can easily flip their promises with no accountability of consequences. They don't give a fuck if you feel hurt. They don't involve you if they don't see a valid purpose for it. It's business minded. They have zero emotional investment and will flip at the drop of a hat. 
• Their interest in you is at best temporary. 
• They have zero consideration for your needs 
• They have zero understanding of what you are going through. 

 

Edited December 21, 2021 by Preety_India