Habit Transformation

[JKG]

I am already having a journal here but I want to make this one separate because it does not fit in with the stuff I write about in my normal journal. And my intuition was telling me this.

After applying the pre-mortem technique I discovered that I am having problems with habits. I want to change too much at once and end up changing nothing.

So the first thing that I want to tackle is my eating habit. This journal for will for the first months be a food diary. Everyday I will be posting what I am eating each day. Honestly.

I don't expect anyone to read this. It will be a boring list of what I ate that day and what I want to improve. It is just to reflect each day my eating pattern.

Edited January 2, 2017 by quantum

[JKG]

17/1/2, Monday

• intermittent fasting until 2pm
• big smoothie - lunch
  3 apples
  1 banana
  a piece of ginger
  some powder
  a lot of kale
• big salad  - lunch
  1 chiccory root
  half of a radicchio
  2 tomatoes
  balsamic vinegar
  avocado oil
• fruits - lunch
  2 apples
  1 pear
• nuts - snacks
  cashew - too much
  walnuts - not too much
  Brazil nuts - too much, about 5
  pumpkin seeds - not too much
• raisins - snacks
  a small hand full - way less than what I would normally eat
• frozen fruit - snack
  a 'winter fruit mix' with rather exotic fruit - a small cup
• dinner
  potatos, peas, celery - 1.5 plates
• walnuts - snack
  (while cracking walnuts)
• 2 figs - snack
• a package of healthy chips - snack
  kale chips with beet root (30g)
  (I got it for Christmas)
• 1 hand of raisins - snack

 

What could I do better generally?

• I ate the raisins and frozen fruit just to please my desire for food while waiting for the dinner to get ready. This is not necessary
• The snacks after dinner were also not necessary. I watched a documentary and cracked nuts meanwhile. The food was just a distraction.

What I will do better tomorrow?

• drinking at least 1 cup of tea first if I feel the desire to eat while waiting for dinner
• brushing my teeth after dinner

Edited January 2, 2017 by quantum

[JKG]

I applied the pre-mortem technique on this habit. Some things that I will do:

• asking myself each day in this journal whether or not over-challenge myself, so that I don't trick myself into trying to change more habits than this eating habit
• reaching at least a streak of 21 consecutive days with a good eating habit
• visualizing that for a long time I have tried to change this habit but never was able to change it long term
• facing my inner deamons
• rewatching the videos "overcoming addiction" and "how to stop backsliding" regularly
• making myself responsible through my best friend - giving her some food each time that I "fail"
• setting some intermediate goals

My fist intermediate goal is it to reach a streak of 21 days of only eating three meals a day without snacks. One at lunch, one between lunch and dinner, and finally dinner.

[JKG]

17/1/3 - Streak 1

• lunch
  • salad
    green lettuce with some fruit
  • beet root with 2 small apples
  • 1 pear
• "snack"
  • blood orange
  • 2 small apples
  • 1 pear
  • grapes
  • 5 walnuts
  • 5 chasews
  • 2 Brazil nuts
  • some pumpkin seeds
• dinner (1.5 plates)
  • potatoes
  • cauliflower
  • eggs
  • carrot, grapes

What went well?

• withstanding the desire to eat out of boredom
• actually feeling how my stomach was empty a few hours after lunch
• I pushed eating the snack until 5pm
• I "distracted" myself from eating through sitting in silence&solitude and contemplating (eliminating beliefs, how can one know that there is an external reality - that got my mind crazy and I forgot food)
• drinking a big can of tea

What I will do tomorrow?

• drinking tea again
• contemplating again

Did I challenge myself too much?
I felt once that my willpower-battery drained very quickly. So I allowed to do some other distractions to let the battery recover itself a bit and to grain some willpower to withstand from eating. It worked well and didn't overdo it too much. I am happy how it went today.
 

Edited January 4, 2017 by quantum
forgot something

[JKG]

17/1/4 - Streak 2

• lunch
  • salad
    green lettuce with chicory root, fruit and an avocado
  • 1 pear
  • 2 apples with beet root
• "snack"
  • 1 pear
  • 1 apple
  • 1 banana
  • 1 blood orange
  • grapes
  • 5 walnuts
  • 5 cashews
  • 2 Brazil nuts
  • some pumpkin seeds
• dinner
  • soup (3 plates)
    Brussel sprouts, potato, carrot, noodles
  • 4 grapes

What went well?

• drinking tea
• less resistance and desire, could easily handle it
• pushed the snack again until 5pm
• in the morning I visualized the eating habit for 5 minutes

What will I do tomorrow?

• drinking tea
• visualizing

Did I challenge myself too much?
No, I could handle it well. The willpower-battery didn't run out so fast. I did some breaks while "working". No contemplation was needed to "distract" myself.

I noticed that I eat almost everyday almost raw until dinner. Cool. It's like raw till 4 but rather like raw till 6 or 7
 

[Dragallur]

Is tea good for human body? And do you drink tea from sacks?

[JKG]

9 hours ago, Dragallur said:

Is tea good for human body?

Maybe. I haven't done much research on this.

I mainly started drinking tea to "distract" me from snacking. Additionally we have lots of tea at home that nobody drinks and I often feel very cold in winter.

9 hours ago, Dragallur said:

And do you drink tea from sacks?

Sometimes

[Mango1998]

The tea from sacks is not that healthy. It contains much aromatic stuff, so you should probably do research on that before you actually start developing a habit to drink it on a daily basis and after that realize that it wasn´t good at all. 

[Mango1998]

I have some advice for you, how you maybe would eat less.  So here they are: 

• don´t eat while you are doing something else, like watching TV, reading or something else
• be aware that you are eating, that is the most important thing
• enjoy every bite, smell and taste it
• eat slowly, so you can enjoy it and you get the feeling of being full more easily

 

[JKG]

8 hours ago, Mango1998 said:

The tea from sacks is not that healthy. It contains much aromatic stuff, so you should probably do research on that before you actually start developing a habit to drink it on a daily basis and after that realize that it wasn´t good at all. 

Is soon as it becomes warmer I will drop this habit without a problem. Right now it is just for the sake of distracting me from eating. When I got used to eating less it is not needed anymore. I have more important stuff to do with my time than researching about tea right now.

6 hours ago, Mango1998 said:

I have some advice for you, how you maybe would eat less.  So here they are: 

• don´t eat while you are doing something else, like watching TV, reading or something else
• be aware that you are eating, that is the most important thing
• enjoy every bite, smell and taste it
• eat slowly, so you can enjoy it and you get the feeling of being full more easily

 

I know and I already tried and backslided often enough. Osho says this for example too and many other spiritual teachers as well. BUT this would be another additional habit, the habit of mindful eating. Maybe I will try it but not snacking is the focus now.

[JKG]

17/1/5 - Streak 3

• lunch
  • salad
    chicory roots, fruits, an avocado
  • big green smoothie
    4 apples
    1 banana
    kale
    powders
  • 1 apples, 1 pear
  • 1 apple with beet root
• snack
  • 3 grapes
  • 1 carrot
  • some pomegranate
• dinner
  • potatoes with sunchoke (2 plates)
  • limited nuts and seeds

What went well?

• I rewatched "overcoming addiction"
• the snack was really late and almost right before dinner. So actually I had no snack.

What I will do tomorrow?

• I ate a lot for lunch today and felt very full afterwards. But I ate so much because of tics, so its okay. Tomorrow I won't do this again because of how I felt afterwards. About a year actually I felt after every lunch so bad because I ate so much oat meal for lunch - really really much.
• Feeling into myself before I make myself even more for lunch.
• waiting until I feel that my stomach is completely empty before I eat the snack

Did I challenge myself too much? No, it was no problem.

[JKG]

17/1/6 - Streak 4

• lunch
  • big green smoothie
    3 apples
    1 banana
    a lot of kale
    some powders
    some pomegranate
  • fruit plate
    1 banana
    1 apple
    1 blood orange
    5 grapes
    2 slices of pineapple
  • limited nuts and seeds
• dinner
  • radicchio with cucumber
    (I like the pure bitterness)
  • 5 grain mix (150g dry) with kale
• snack
  • 1 banana
  • 3 dried figs

What went well?

• almost not snacking at all but after dinner I had the desire to eat something sweet with a high sugar content like raisins. I distracted myself from my raisins-habit with a banana and dried figs, but figs have still a high sugar content.
• a lot of raw food

What will I do tomorrow?

• waiting 10 minutes before I get more food. I felt very full after lunch again.
• withstanding the snack. I was not very conscious
• feeling hunger

Did I challenge myself too much? Not at all.

[JKG]

17/1/7 - Streak 5

• lunch
  • buckwheat porridge
    soaked buckwheat (100g dry)
    2 bananas
    4 dates
    a bit soy milk
  • vegetables with bulgur (1.25 plates)
  • limited nuts and seeds
• snack
  • big green smoothie
    kale
    3 apples
    2 bananas
    some powders
• dinner (at a birthday party)
  • racklet
    i ate mostly:
    mushrooms
    potatoes
    tomatoes
    avocado
    spring onions
    corn
    baguette
    vegan spread
  • mini ice smoothie
    little bit banana
    little bit frozen strawberries

What went well?

• Well, I grounded myself with the food which is positive, but it is rather negative for this habit.
• I did not eat chips at the birthday party which would have stopped my streak.

What will I do tomorrow?

• I see that I still eat very very much, just at three determined times. I will do add another little habit: Feeling an empty stomach after lunch before eating a snack. I wanted to do it in the last couple of days but never did it.
• I will change this "What went well?" to "What I noticed"

Did I challenge myself too much? No. I stuffed myself pretty much. I just ate no snacks in between.

[JKG]

17/1/8

Eating only lunch, one allowed snack and dinner - Streak 0
Feeling hunger before eating the allowed snack - Streak 0

• lunch
  • buckwheat porridge
    buckwheat spouts (140g dry mass)
    6 dates
    2 bananas
    cacao powder
  • fruit plate
    2 blood oranges
    1.5 slices of a pineapple
    grapes
• snack
  • smoothie
    3 apples
    1 banana
    1 slice of a pineapple
    some powders
  • limited nuts and seeds
  • cucumber, grapes, carrots
  • more nuts, more grapes...
• dinner
  • sweet potato with kale
  • apple puree
• raisins, cashews...

What I noticed

• I ate less for lunch because I wanted to be "allowed" to snack
• I felt no hunger at all even although it was already 5 or 6 pm. My stomach was reasonably empty
• I still ate the smoothie because I felt like I had to - the habit...
• between the snack and the dinner I was not in my room, but in the kitchen and my sisters room cracking nuts and preparing dinner. Food was around, so I snacked.
• I thought about not reseting the streak and being dishonest to myself. But them I remembered that I would just trick myself and build up the shadow.
• When I noticed that I snacked "without permission" I continued snacking because I thought that the streak was already broken. So I ate even more snacks after dinner although I was pretty full.

What I will do tomorrow?

• staying away from the kitchen
• meditating and feeling into my stomach if I really want to eat something except from lunch or dinner

Did I challenge myself too much? No. I failed. But that is okay. That is the way it should be.

[JKG]

17/1/9

Eating only lunch, one allowed snack and dinner - Streak 0
Feeling hunger before eating the allowed snack - Streak 0

• lunch
  • salad
    chicory root, radicchio, some fruit
  • 3 apples with beetroot and apple cider vinegar
  • 2 Brazil nuts, 5 walnuts
• snack
  • fruit plate
    2 apples
    1 blood orange
    1 persimmon
  • 5 cashews, some pumpkin seeds
• 1 glass soy milk and walnuts
  (after I have "finished" the snack and waited for dinner)
• dinner
  • Brussle sprouts with potatoes (2 plates)
• 1 hand of raisins

What I noticed?

• I forgot that I only wanted to eat the snack when I feel hungry
• I automatically made myself a snack because I always do after coming home from school in the afternoon. I almost didn't and considered meditating about this decision but I didn't.
• I snacked more after the "official" snack because I was in the kitchen to get something and then I snacked...
• I ate the raisins after dinner although being really full because I used to snack a lot of dried fruit and nuts after dinner in the past. And again I thought "fuck it, I already didn't got the streak. And I was pretty conscious. Why didn't I stop??

What I will do tomorrow?

• Intermittent fasting until 4pm (no opportunity to go home and school in the afternoon)
• meditating before intending to snack. But really!

Did I challenge myself too much? No, I was mostly and school and had no opportunity to eat there. And at home I gave in... This must not become a habit, this just saying "fuck it, I'll get it tomorrow."

[JKG]

17/1/10

Eating only lunch, one allowed snack and dinner - Streak 1
Feeling hunger before eating the allowed snack - Streak 1

• first meal (5pm)
  • smoothie
    3 apples
    1 banana
    a piece of ginger
    some powders
    a bit soy milk
  • fruit plate
    2 apples
    1 mango
    1 blood orange
    1 persimmon
  • limited nuts and seeds
• dinner (6:30pm)
  • potatoes, sweet potatoes, rice, coconut milk and soy (1.5 plates)
  • 2 pieces of cucumber, 2 pieces of apple, 2 grapes

What I noticed

• not eating is no problem when no food is around
• I feel good fasting for many hours as long as I have not started to eat that day. When I eat, hunger will come up - when I don't eat, no hunger will come up
• I feel very pleased right now and have no desire to eat anymore
• I always forget the things that I write at "What I will do tomorrow"

What I will do tomorrow

• not snacking after coming back from school in the evening
• reviewing once this section in the morning when I visualize

Did I challenge myself too much? No, I was in school until 4pm, had no food around and absolutely no desire to eat.

[JKG]

17/1/11

Eating only lunch, one allowed snack and dinner - Streak 2
Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 2

• lunch (1pm)
  • salad
    green lettuce, radicchio, fuit
  • green smoothie
    3 apples
    1 banana
    kale
    some powders
  • limited nuts and seeds
• snack (6pm)
  • fruits and vegetables
    2 apples
    1 blood orange
    1/2 carrot
• dinner (6:30pm)
  • rest of the dinner from yesterday (1 plate)
  • millet with vegetables (1.5 plates)
  • quite a few walnuts

What I noticed

• I had the urge to eat after school but I didn't eat but instead meditated
• I changed the second habit to "Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack" because I think then it is easier for me to do it at first
• I just cracked walnuts and ate quite a few of them, but I allowed it to myself and anticipated that. Meanwhile I watched a documentary. I think thats the reason why I ate so much of them. I shouldn't have the food-source in my room while being distracted by something.

What I will do tomorrow

• Intermittent fasting until I get back from school

Did I challenge myself too much? I am challenge but not overly challenged. It was hard to not eat after school. And now I am also craving food because I moved more than usual today. I feel like I want to stuff myself full with oatmeal. I have this strong desire to get back to homeostasis. I will resist!

[Dragallur]

Today I had dinner full of vegetables, many kinds and it was amazing! Firstly I planned to just eat bread with cheese but hey, I can see that there is something cool to vegan lifestyle and that you definitely do not lose much! I even ate celery which is vegetable that I used to hate.. I think you had some influence over me, thanks @quantum !

[JKG]

17/1/12, Thursday

Eating only lunch, one allowed snack and dinner - Streak 3
Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 3

• big green smoothie
  4 apples
  1 banana
  ginger
  kale
  powders
• big oat meal
  1 banana
  1 apple
  oat meal - a lot
  couscous porridge mix
  corn flakes
  honey
  coconut drink
• potatoes with Chinese cabbage
• limited nuts

What I noticed

• I desired food all day. I did intermittent fasting until 6pm. I felt horrible. That was not a good idea. I already craved food in the morning because I resisted eating more yesterday evening. I will not do this again in the near future.
• I was cold all day. Maybe because of the lack of food or the lack of movement or the cold outside
• I even desire food now although I was so full about 1.5 hours ago.

What I will do tomorrow?

• maybe I will eat breakfast to see low I feel then

Did I challenge myself too much? Yes. I didn't was attempted to eat because I was in school all day. I could have bought something in the city but I was able to not to. But my mind...

[JKG]

On 11.1.2017 at 8:01 PM, Dragallur said:

Today I had dinner full of vegetables, many kinds and it was amazing! Firstly I planned to just eat bread with cheese but hey, I can see that there is something cool to vegan lifestyle and that you definitely do not lose much! I even ate celery which is vegetable that I used to hate.. I think you had some influence over me, thanks @quantum !

I didn't expected that from this little list of what I eat everyday But cool.

I developed this mostly vegan diet over the course about three years now. The progress was slow. I don't want to imagine what I ate at that time anymore.

Spiritual ego: "Ha J, you are an inspiration to others. You are so superior and developed."